ulu

Oh, what can I say. I think my female owner is addicted to going out, just the way she was addicted to eating in Brisbane. Being at home at 11pm is disconcerting for her. If she had a choice, she would jio someone out for supper... just that she doesn't have that many supper friends these days.

You know, like hibernation, when you store up fats to last you through winter, my female owner is furiously meeting her friends, in anticipation of the 10-month famine in 2009 where she will be separated from her friends.

Her plans for today: She was supposed to meet her Melbourne Fren for lunch before meeting her Onli Fren for shopping in the afternoon, and end off the day with a dinner at her Couple Frens’ house. Melbourne Fren cancelled lunch due to last minute work. At the same time, my female owner found someone who was willing to go to the Live Turtle and Tortoise Museum with her at last minute’s request. Hence, she postponed her shopping trip with her Onli Fren since it is rare that anyone would accompany her to ulu Jurong to see uninteresting reptiles.

The last time my female owner went to the Turtle Museum 1.5years ago (actually she thought it was 3-4years ago, until I showed her my records). Most of the exhibits remain intact, except that there were less turtles/ tortoises/ terrapins at certain enclosures. As usual, my female owner bought some turtle food to feed the terrapins (unfair! What about us?!)

This signboard is new

turtles, captive or domesticated, are the same everywhere. we get excited when it is feeding timethis turtle was an anomaly though, he continued his yoga stance even though it was feeding time. my female owner made friends with this turtle which allowed her to stroke his head, the way she does it to Dodo.

check out her pretty nails! how do turtles in the wild maintain their good looks?!

An impromptu decision to watch a movie in the late afternoon caused her to be super late for dinner at Couple Frens’ house. And believe it or not, the group of friends (mix of her Badminton Kakis and JC friends) spent the time watching the latest hit drama serial on national television. And it was Wii time! Haha. Apparently, my female owner had super bad hand-eye coordination, resulting in her being a joy to watch and laugh at.

I heard that her sweet friends planted a surprise birthday ops for her and after “forcing” her to finish her bottle of beer, brought out a yummy tiramisu cake to celebrate her birthday. So heart-warming!

Wii time ended close to midnight and my female owner hopped over the street to Onli Fren’s house as Second Onli Fren was there as well (ya, her friends lived so near to one another in ulu Sembawang). Second Onli Fren, Onli Fren, Baby and hubby were around when she reached. Suddenly Onli Fren got excited and said that “hey! We can play bridge!” She got more and more excited and repeated her bridge request twice… and suddenly, a long-time friend whom she had not seen for ages, Ghandi, popped out from nowhere holding a cake cum candle (apparently, Ghandi was to appear when Onli Fren repeated herself three times). Wahaha. Another pleasant surprise for my female owner.

seen

I haven’t seen my female owner much around the house since Christmas! She has been RTS (roaming the streets, as pointed out by her father).

Friday, she went to work in the morning. Was about to go home when her Second Onli Fren jioed her out for shopping. Then my female owner met her parents for dinner – Curry Fish Head. And of course, at night, she had games and supper with her Impromptu Frens and reached home about 4am+ on Saturday morning.

What distresses us when she reaches home at such unearthly hours is that she would go into the Balcony to look for us and almost certainly, wake Dodo up from his sleep!

Waking up on Saturday afternoon, her Functional Fren jioed her to go cycling at East Coast that day. And off she went. It turned out to be a fun yet trying day as their lack of planning/ spontaneity led to several inconveniences such as being stuck in traffic, not being able to find parking and even, not being able to find a place to take a shower!

Dinner was another overdose of food centre fare. Joined by another Impromptu Fren, the three of them had a big sinful feast of lala, sting-ray, chicken wings (again), satay, sugar-cane. Then, they jioed her Librarian Fren out for durians at Geylang. Another trying experience for my female owner as she tried not to aggravate Functional Fren who was frustrated at the start-stop traffic. At the same time, she found that she was at the receiving end of the other Impromptu Fren’s annoyance (he had already reached Geylang). She wasn’t impressed. Anyway, durians were good.

So my female owner got home and zonked out immediately.

Sunday came. Overslept. Didn’t make it for church. Dragged her lazy body out to attend a pair of married friends’ house-warming party. Dragged because their house was in an ulu part of Singapore and she had no transport. Thankfully, her Couple Frens were able to give her a lift. House-warming was alright although it felt like Chinese New Year visitation.

Then my female owner came home! Wahaha! In the afternoon. She spent like 2 mins with us. Her father started to scold her for not taking better care of us (ie. not giving us water or food). So he did the right thing and fed us! He did a bit of turtle gazing too. I bet you, we managed to charm him. Ah, then the family left to East Coast (again?!). They had plans to celebrate my female owner’s birthday.

Yawn.. I’m so tired.. update more another day.

Anyway, while talking to her Intuitive Fren today, my female owner realised that she had been eating chicken wings everyday since Christmas. No wonder she is sick of them. Like he said, most of the chickens in Singapore must be without their wings by now.

games

My female owner had one of her funnest night so far in Singapore, with her Impromptu Frens. Remember I mentioned before that my female owner enjoys being among familiar company, laughing and chatting about anything under the sun? The night was filled with such randomness.
The amazing thing was that she organised the outing only yesterday evening but everyone turned up. Her main aim in this outing was to draw out her Librarian Fren and if possible, her Clever Fren, so that the whole group could spend some time together. Her Librarian Fren was often busy while her Clever Fren was notoriously difficult to book, especially if it is a last minute jio (he is NOT impromptu at all). Happily, he turned up (“just in case” my female owner was flying off soon, so sweet).

Happy times were made up of silly card and board games (was it any coincidence that my female owner aced the “avoid being married” game but lost the “management” game?), trying to get the logic and rules of the games without driving anyone to suicide in the process (she played the game twice but still made the same errors, much to the amused exasperation of her Clever Fren – there is a reason why she calls him Clever right?) and free-flow conversation at post-games aka supper.

Ah, same-aged peers, with similar life experiences, exchanging opinions about life and all. How refreshing and energising for my female owner. No pressure to conform, no agenda to meet, no expectations to live up to. Just a group of friends being themselves.

slope

My female owner is rolling down the slippery slope of spiritual relapse apparently. The latest indicator being that she didn’t make it for any Christmas service. Neither did she spend any time reflecting on the significance of Christmas. It was just like any other day.

But then again, she was not feeling well since Christmas Eve. Her symptoms? Loss of appetite, soreness of joints and backache, but without any fever (or rather, she couldn’t tell since she had no thermometer). Some of her “well-meaning” friends even congratulated her on being pregnant. Wahaha.

Ah, given her weakened physical state, my female owner couldn’t/ didn’t make it for the 0800hr Christmas service (I’m not sure whether it was an ability or attitude issue). She was then 1.5hrs late for her “Oldies Club” meeting scheduled at 1030hr. Made it in the nick of time to see two of her long-time friends before they left for other Christmas appointments. Having not seen her parents since Christmas Eve Eve (sounds like the kind of interaction she had with her Brisbane housemates, doesn’t it?), my female owner rushed home to “show face” to her family for 30mins.

Then, she did the most perplexing thing ever. She went to play badminton with some of her impromptu friends in spite of her condition. For some strange reason, the physical exertion actually reduced some of her symptoms! (I secretly think that the exercise actually jolted her body back into motion, after months of gaining weight and sedentary lifestyle). And rounded off the day with a feast at a popular food centre. So much for loss of appetite!

I know that my female owner was still a little off-form last night, coz she chose not to meet her aikido friends at night... and slept super early too.

jolted

It’s Christmas! My female owner has mixed feelings about Christmas. She got together with her ex 8 years ago on Christmas. The day that changed her life. The trajectory of her life.

Every year, she thinks about how life could have been, if she hadn’t gone steady with him. Not many people may know, but my female owner did tell her ex that she wanted to break up a few months after getting together. In response, he persuaded her to stay together and even scolded her for being a timid turtle (锁头乌龟). Ah, and she caved in under his persuasive powers. So soft-hearted!

Being back in Singapore, my female owner has a nagging fear of meeting him on the streets. What would she do? What would she say? More importantly, how would she feel? Anger? Disgust? Disdain? Certainly not anything positive. Once in Brisbane, my female owner thought she saw him in her peripheral left vision in the lecture theatre after church service. She was jolted out of her seat. A split second later, her logic (of the impossibility of that happening) took over and she quickly calmed herself down.

fuss

Over the past few days, my female owner had a few encounters which left her with no choice but to admit that her body is in need of great repair.

Start first with her eyebrow repair job on Sunday. The beautician made a big fuss over her dark eye rings, dry skin around the eyes and the lack of spirit in her eyes (which, according to her, is a consequence of spending too much time on the computer).

Then she went to cut her hair on Monday. The hair stylist and his assistant exclaimed at her dry, damaged and fizzy hair and how her hair is badly in need of treatment and strengthening. My female owner conveniently blamed it on the Brisbane weather.

As if that is not enough, her Second Onli Fren took a look at her and asked “can you dress up more? You used to dress much more trendily. What happened to you?” She ignored my female owner’s excuses of having not enough clothes in Singapore and no income to buy new ones. Exasperated, Second Onli Fren dragged her around the shopping centre to get “more glam things”. Their loot after 1.5 hours – a white jacket, a pair of working pants, three pairs of shoes and a white bag.

At night, she met up with her aikido gang. One of her friends exclaimed loudly to her “wah, you put on weight!”

When she went back to her former office today, her former boss whispered to her friend that “she has put on weight”. And he didn’t bother to say anything else to my female owner!

Ah.. one fuss after another, my female owner is convinced that she needs to take better care of herself. She needs a makeover.

blessings

My female owner woke up to an anticipated boring day as the only appointment she had was to attend church in far far east with JF… which she didn’t make it.

Old habits die hard. She woke up late coz she went out late the night before.

My female owner chilled-out with some friends at a bar where the Japanese manager performed magic tricks for the customers. As usual, my female owner was "sabotaged" (courtesy of JW, aka her Melbourne Fren who made "special arrangements" with the magician). The magician asked her to guess the number of red soft sponge balls he placed in her hand. Guessing "3" when she thought he placed 2 in her hand, she opened her hand to find a male organ (actual size) expanding from the mass of red sponge she held in her hand. Omigod! Anyway, that was still fun. And hey! my female owner didn't binge-drink.

Anyway, back to today. Upon smsing JF of her non-attendance, he directed her to a live webcast of the service she was supposed to attend. Watching it made her regret not making enough effort to wake up in time (ah, we turtles took a peek at the screen too). Pastor was preaching about being a person of vision, value and compassion for 2009. Even through the internet, my female owner responded to the message.

The rest of the day turned out to be one blessing after another.

Started with her brother who came by and bought lunch for her. My female owner was then minding her own business, surfing the internet when from a distance, her brother caught the screen – Ipod Nano. He quickly asked if she was thinking of getting one and my female owner said yes (she had actually went price hunting yesterday at dodgy Sim Lim where her ex-bf used to work, and was hesitant to get one because of the cost and her current financial situation). Her brother told her immediately that he would get her one (wow!) and even suggested getting Itouch (which is more expensive). My female owner was so touched by the gesture!

Ah, then later in the afternoon, her Second Onli Fren called her, asking if she would be keen to do eyebrow embroidery that evening. My female owner had been meaning to do it for a long time but the place where she wants to do has a six-month waiting list (can you believe it?). Time that she cannot spare. Second Onli Fren was essentially giving up her slot in the waiting list for my female owner.

Soon after, another friend called to say that he was coming over to her house, without giving any reason. Turned out that he wanted to pass her a Christmas cum Birthday present. The thoughts and effort which went into the gift warmed my female owner’s heart. Check it out, so cute!

My female owner had never been a great fan of Care Bears, but she had previously gone ga-ga over them coz they were so cute and endearing. Hence, the appropriateness of the gift. Notice how the box fits the bears perfectly? Lucky bears.

Ah, and she got a lift to the eyebrow place (no need to struggle through public transport!). Eyebrow repair work took longer than expected, by then it was about 2000hr. Second Onli Fren then told her that she was invited for dinner at her friend’s house. And so, she drove my female owner to indulge in a home-cooked Teochew porridge dinner. How blessed!

And after dinner, my female owner had the chance to catch up with her Second Onli Fren one-to-one.. and they made the impromptu decision to visit Onli Fren and Baby.

Ah, what an eventful day, for a day that started out as boring and empty. My female owner is definitely happiest when she gets to spend time with her close friends. Such a blessed day indeed (but we didn’t get to see her as a result!).

challenge

[continued]

And so, my female owner ended up at a bible study group on a Friday night (her Friday nights have not been very “happening” so far).

For some strange reason, she found it easy to talk to the strangers there. She even told JF not to bother about her, that she would take care of herself. The people present were generally about her REAL age or older. Their warmness, sincerity and friendliness made her feel at home very quickly. Although it was small talk, she could sense their genuine interest in her.

Among all the people who spoke to my female owner during dinner, one person, whom she figured was the leader of the group (and my female owner forgot her name), stood out. Very aptly, she challenged my female owner to make her days at Brisbane count, to look beyond her academic pursuit and to build up relationships. She reminded my female owner that personal development is as important as completing her course. And after hearing that my female owner is a Christian, she challenged my female owner to take an active part in her church and bible study group. Words of knowledge spoken by a stranger, affirming the issues that my female owner has been mulling over. It was as if God was talking straight to her.

The main session was even more ministering. They screened a short movie about a Singaporean male who was a former drug addict. He was a hardcore drug addict who was in and out of prison (the longest time he was out of prison was 7 months, and the shortest time was 8 hours). Once in prison, he was caned for a drug offence. Out of boredom, he asked the Malay prison guard for a comic. The guard handed him a Chinese bible instead. He read a passage from the Bible (where there was a bookmark), was convicted by what he read, cried out to God for forgiveness and and repented of his ways. That was the turning point of his life. By God’s grace, he was transformed into a gospel composer and musician and is now reaching out to current drug addicts and prisoners.

That video touched my female owner. It was again, an apt reminder of how God can transform lives and use people, but only if they are willing to. My female owner, once again, felt the challenge to be more committed to her Christian faith, to expand her comfort zone and to be willing to step out to be used by God.

Ah, I don’t think she can ignore this prompting for much longer.

leading

My female owner once again experienced God’s faithfulness and love today.

She made arrangements with the ex-colleague who invited her to join his bible study group (let’s call him JF) to meet him at Tanah Merah MRT at 1930hrs. Now, Tanah Merah is eons away from Ang Mo Kio. My female owner was ambivalent about going whether it would be worthwhile going, so she nuaed at home until it was too late to take public transport and be on time. Her only alternative was to drive down. The main problem was that she had never driven to TM MRT before and she has no street directory.

She smsed JF who replied with the address of the place (a landed property, so she did not even know which estate she would be heading towards – turns out to be Bedok) and directions that read “U go by PIE exit Simei. At the junction where u can see Expo and MRT track, turn right. There after, turn left when u hit the first junction. Turn right after temple on the right. Then call me. =) ”

And people familiar with my female owner knows that firstly, she is a poor driver, secondly, she doesn’t know her roads and thirdly, even with directions and a street directory, she gets lost.

Armed with this sms (and a secret hope that she would be so lost that she wont be able to make it for bible study), she left in her father’s car, driving head-on into peak hour traffic on the expressway. Putting aside her grievances about Singaporean drivers, my female owner survived the stop-start traffic and arrived at what looked like a temple but turned out to be an old folk’s home.

Now, remember that she didn’t know which estate she was supposed to be in. She called JF whose phone was cut off abruptly. Oh well. She decided to find the place herself. In front of her were two options, either left or right. My female owner deliberated for a while and told God that He had to guide her to the right place, if He really wanted her to be at bible study. My female owner decided to turn left and follow the road leading into a maze of private estates. There were many minor roads or streets she could have taken to locate the exact Jalan, but my female owner went along the main vein and followed the road and with some divine help, found the exact street which she was looking for, with a spare parking space.

Amazing! It was definitely God’s leading all the way. Without a street directory, without getting lost, in darkness, my female owner knew that she was not there at no. 56 by chance.

[to be continued]

stalking

My female owner has a question which she wants a good answer to.

Why did her ex-bf (aka my ex-male owner who abandoned us)’s girlfriend of one year request to be added to my female owner's MSN?

This GF once (or many times?!) sussed out my female owner’s Friendster account. But asking to be put on one’s MSN list brings this cyber stalking to a whole new dimension.

Anyone with a good answer?

ouch

And so, my female owner claims that she forgot to bring us to Onli Fren's house to be cooked. Hence, they had to settle for ABC soup comprising of sweet corn, tomato, carrot, potato and spare ribs.

Pork with red peppers and onion (ironically, the pork came from Kangarooland)
the anyhow put together egg tofu with prawns
And no, they didn't cook Baby. Thought that I should put the first human face ever on my Turtle Pad. Anyway, my female owner had this fleeting thought to borrow Baby to show her aikido friends... claiming that it is hers...

Onli Frens tell you the truth, even when it hurts:

My female owner was whining to Onli Fren last night that she had no clothes to wear in Singapore because she grew fatter ... and Onli Fren offered to lend my female owner her maternity clothes!

Second Onli Fren was talking about how Onli Fren had progress in life, as compared to her or my female owner. My female owner replied to Second Onli Fren "at least you are younger than me!" and Second Onli Fren said "yah, you are really far behind, cannot deny that".

Ouch.

Frens

The day started wrong for us turtles. My female owner had a big hand in it. She was supposed to spend the day at her Onli Fren’s house, cooking and baking (so auntie!). Clueless about what Asian dishes to cook, my female owner suggested brewing turtle soup as a joke. Somebody please tell her that things can never be joked about. It was ever more scary when she identified Nanook and myself as the main ingredients (coz we are not as smart as the boys, and we are her ex-bf’s pets).

Oh well… it was with a big sign of relief when she left the house, without us. She sounded so serious at one point in time, coz she said that I should be cooked, because I eat more than Dodo!

Anyway, it turned out to be a relaxing nua day for my female owner as she spent the time with her Onli Fren and Baby. The sweetener came when her Second Onli Fren came by. Ah, a rare chance to be surrounded with her Onli Frens!

The three gals had known one another for more than 10 years and Second Onli Fren (the youngest of the three) couldn’t help but compare where each of them were in terms of life stages. Onli Fren had progress the most in her life – graduated, worked, got attached, married, honeymoon-ed, pregnant, baby. Second Onli Fren: graduated, worked, attached. Female owner: graduated, back to studies.

Ah.. true to her second nature of being a turtle, my female owner was the slowest in life. As what Onli Fren said “you wasted your youth on him”. So true. 7 years of her life with a guy who personifies AGAB. No thanks to her indecisiveness, naivety and blind faith. There’s nothing she can do about the wasted years and dwelling about the lost years ain’t going to bring back her youth.

What does Jesus say about this? Perhaps Jeremiah 29:11? My female owner’s favourite verse.

shape

Contrary to expectations, my female owner hasn’t gone for any aikido lessons since she came back to Sunny Singapore. In fact, she didn’t make contact with any of her aikido mates. Can you believe it? Her social-phobic genes were in full gear… and she found it strange to be contacting people to say “hey! I’m back!”. A few of them know that she is back, only because they MSN-ed her to check (so sweet!)

Anyway, because her aikido instructor (of whom Onli Fren has conjured up strange hypotheses!) is currently in Nepal, my female owner decided to wait until he returns before attending class. Meanwhile, she spends her time eating, sleeping and reading.

Ah… at this rate she is going, no hope of her getting into shape! Speaking of which, my female owner has (wisely) decided not to buy any new clothes until she is about to leave… in case she puts on more weight from now till then.

free lance

On looking back at the year that flew by, my female owner thinks that she led a “free-lance” year. The year started with her clearing leave from her previous organisation (i.e. she went to work sporadically) and preparing to move to Brisbane. In Brisbane, she had lessons only on two days, leaving her with a “flexi-schedule” (an oxymoron, if you know what she went through) for the rest of the week. Back in Singapore now, she is supposedly on holiday but is holding two flexi-hours jobs in-between meeting up with people.

Hence, 2008 is a year where she was left pretty much to her own devices. Living on her own, she accounted to no one for her whereabouts. It was really independent solo living, "come and go as the wind". In addition, she was accountable to no one but herself to complete what she needed/ wanted to. She set her own work goals and planned her schedule to meet them “own time own target”. She could stay home the whole day with the laptop in front of her in the name of work and no one would query “why you never go work/ school?” She also mastered that art of looking as if she is working hard but is actually on MSN (not difficult to master apparently), much to the amusement of many of her course-mates.

I think my female owner found it refreshing that she is no longer doing work just for the sake of doing (sai kang, as many can identify with her). She no longer has to meet dodgy key performance indicators, or market herself in the workplace by doing presentations that she don’t believe in or planning for operations that were nothing but wayang shows to justify her colleagues’ existence, and being dumped with all kinds of random work in the name of “exposure” and being “junior”.

east

Before my female owner left for Singapore, her bible study group leader spoke to her about attending a church/ bible study group while she is in Singapore. She termed it as “spiritual relapse prevention”. She told him upfront that she would attend Sunday services but would be unlikely to attend any bible study groups coz she is “social phobic and do not want to make efforts in getting to know people in such a short time”

Apparently God has other plans. In one random moment, she wrote a FB tagline which says “wonders what to do in Singapore”. It was just a random thought in which she did not expect any reaction from the cyber-community. However, in the many who responded to her, one was a distant Christian ex-colleague who invited her to his church and bible study group.

And for some reason, my female owner agreed to attend both… and she wonders why… especially since the venue is in far far east… where she doesn’t have a direct bus service and when her former church is just a ten minute walk away.

sabotaged

My female owner has been wondering who bothers to read what I write. She tried to identify the readers with her Potahto Fren today and came up with a list.

1) Potahto (of course!)
2) Her Onli Fren
3) The female Couple Fren
4) Intuitive Fren
5) Klayhead
6) Q
7) Mr Squabbles (?)
8) Sunflower (?)
9) Avalon (?)
10) Ser (?)

And I realised that my female owner sabotaged my efforts at being anonymous/ private. She left comments on her Intuitive Fren’s blog using MY identity… which effectively announced my cyber-presence to their mutual friends who might access his blog.

Brilliant. Let me sulk in the corner

heels

For the first time in 10 months, my female owner wore her working heels yesterday. You see, she was geared up for a job interview (which she got – Praise God). My female owner wore flats 95% of the time in Brisbane as they were more comfortable, making it easier for her to move around in school. And also, she didn’t want to tower over people any more. What a difference 10 months made!

She once prided herself as being able to run in heels and skirt. It was not the case anymore. For one, she found it disorienting to be 8cm taller. Suddenly the ground seemed much further, going down stairs more challenging and people are much shorter.

More concerning, she felt the impact of her dodgy left knee as she struggled to stay balanced on her heels. The strain was new to her and so she concluded that her dodgy knee problem escalated in Brisbane.

champagne

My female owner is bored. Having free time is a luxury that she doesn’t know how to handle. She found the 2-week hiatus in July easier to manage. With less time, she was in greater pressure to squeeze out as much catching-ups as she could. Like what her Functional Fren said when he found out that she would be around for two months “huh? You will be around for so long ah, if I know, I meet you in Feb instead.”

And so, with time to spare, my female owner procrastinated in telling people that she is back. There are some friends who are still unaware of her return/ temporary mobile number. Ah… her anti-social genes are spawning! In fact, my female owner didn’t really make plans to meet up with anyone and most of her meet-ups so far had been impromptu/ last minute, except, ironically, with her Impromptu Frens who ever sweetly, planned a Champagne Party for her.

As usual, my female owner enjoyed the company of her Impromptu Frens. It was a special gathering, coz her Librarian Fren was back from her UK studies. Finally, for a brief period of time, the four gals who were fellow comrades in their previous workplace, are together again. An afternoon of doing nothing, but accomplishing lots.

Toasting to their friendship (in unglam non-champagne glasses)

cutesy macaroon cake

Hands of friendship

hmm... Santa on a cracker. My female owner never played with a Christmas cracker before!

gingerbread men

There was a day in the not so distant past when my female owner had an impromptu baking session with her Therapist (this was in Brisbane). They had some time to spare after a workshop in school and decided to do what they always said they would do after their exams… and that was, to bake, using my female owner’s cookie cutters.

Quite quickly, they decided on baking gingerbread men. Even though they had no recipe or idea what ingredients were required, they headed for my female owner’s house. Their plan was to search for a suitable recipe online and innovate if they did not have the required ingredients… and innovate they did (what on earth is molasses?)

Anyway, all’s well that end’s well and here are some photos of their impromptu baking escapade.

the two budding CBT therapists at work (not in the sense of the traditional Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, but Cooking-Baking Therapy)

their fluffy gingerbread men blink-blink turtle
check out this turtle with eggs.. hope my female owner wasn't thinking of me when she made this for her Onli Fren..
check out the happy feetthe random cookies...

meaningless

My female owner was reasonably frustrated yesterday (Friday), to the point that she forgot to feed us.

Firstly, she had been sneezing ever since she got back to Singapore (that is Wed night). Her sneezing fits are usually very serious, running into hundreds/ day, leaving her exhausted and feverish.

As if that was not enough, she was arrowed to attend a distant relative’s wedding by her father who didn’t want to go. The relative was so distant that she didn’t know how they were connected… possibly her father’s cousin’s son (is that her second degree cousin?). And to be more specific, it would probably be her father’s mother’s brother’s son’s son. She also didn’t know who to congratulate (i.e. who the groom’s parents were).

Anyway, she had to drive her father’s new car to the hotel, chauffeuring her mother and auntie. The drive was shocking and unpleasant, with rude drivers who did not bother to signal their intentions to reckless drivers who made illegal u-turns to inconsiderate drivers who cut into her lane. A far cry from Brisbane drivers.

Reaching the wedding in a foul and prejudiced mood about “wasting her time (specifically her first Friday night in Singapore) at a wedding that means nothing to her”, it was no wonder that the time was pure torture to her. Food sucked, service slow, company boring, body tired, nose itchy etc..

Ah, never force my female owner to be in an unfamiliar social setting without a good reason. She will make her unhappiness so obvious that you wished you never asked her.

dinner

For those who are wondering, yes, my female owner’s mother was appropriately surprised when she came home from work to find my female owner at home. In her words, “I almost had a heart attack!”

Anyway, they went out for a traditional Chinese dinner to celebrate my female owner’s mother’s birthday.

Yummy!

The menu...

the "traditional" shot which my female owner's parents readily obliged Samsui Ginger Chicken. My female owner fulfilled her cravings for yummy chicken Puk Kay & Tong Sam with Black Chicken Soup. Not sure what that means, but as long as it's not turtle soup... I don't careAnything spicy is good...

contain

My female owner says that when God pours out His grace upon your life, it overflows and you cannot contain it.

Today, my female owner received an email from the clinic manager, with the title “proud of you!”. She thought it was a mass email to all interns, congratulating everyone on completing her (stinky) internship folios.

Turns out that it was an email written to her, and cc-ed to her CMI supervisor. The clinic manager wrote to inform my female owner that one of her clients was so impressed by the service provided by my female owner that she donated $200 to the clinic. The clinic manager added that in her years at the clinic, she never “had a spontaneous donation or such a great unsolicited testimonial”.

I suppose this gesture spoke volumes as the client is a full-time student who is working part-time to support herself. She presented to the clinic to get a neuropsychological assessment of her current cognitive functioning so that she could apply for disability services when she starts university next year. My female owner was the bearer of bad news as she had to tell her client that she has a learning disorder, with low average IQ, writing difficulties etc etc. Hence, to craft an email to the university (my female owner was not sure where it was addressed to, but the head of the school of psychology was the one who emailed the clinic manager) would have taken much effort on her client’s part.

It was also a public acknowledgement of my female owner’s interpersonal skills and professionalism. This is important in light of her CMI supervisor’s recent criticism that one of her shortcomings was her accent (as if she can change that) and understanding of local colloquialism. The gesture also provided more evidence for her that “she is not as bad as she thinks she is”.

back

After waiting for an extra day, my female owner finally came home! True to her old habits, the moment she reached home, she came to find us at the Balcony. We were engaged in our usual activities of yoga, meditation and self-reflection.

Me!! Haiz... my female owner said that I put on weight again!!

That's us in a line..

Dodo, getting so excited that he was trying to break through the barricade.

Dodo, in my female owner's palm. So tame.

unwanted

I was looking forward to seeing my female owner last night. I was so disappointed (the rest of my siblings too). This was what happened.

My female owner’s Onli Fren (hubby and baby included) and her Second Onli Fren received her at the airport. In spite of her paranoia about her plane crashing (no thanks to some bad press recently; seriously, my female owner never felt so jittery before, especially when they kept putting on the seat-bealt sign in anticipation of turbulence), my female owner landed safely at about 2000hr. After cooing at Baby and giving some professional opinion about him, my female owner headed home with her Second Onli Fren. Passing by Ikea at Tampines along the expressway, they made an impromptu detour towards it. By then, it was about 2100hr. My female owner decided to get her Second Onli Fren to call her father to let him know that she would be back about 2300hr to surprise her mother.

Over the telephone, her father started to say some stuff that Second Onli Fren could not understand. Perplexed, she passed the phone to my female owner. His first words to my female owner were:

“Don’t come home tonight. Come back tomorrow at about 9-10 in the morning”

??

It turned out that her father did not want her to go home last night!!! Rather, he wanted her to stay away till today so that she could turn up on her mother’s actual birthday to surprise her.

Then where did he expect my female owner to stay?! This is where one starts to understand what being “Onli Frens” meant. My female owner looked over to her Second Onli Fren who readily agreed to house her for the night (and I’m sure, for as many nights as my female owner needed).

Ahh.. my female owner mused about being in a situation where her father did not want her to go back and being uncontactable from everyone (she didn't have any SIM card). For a while, my female owner felt that she could disappear from the surface of the earth and no one would even know.

bomber

On going through the departure security bag checks, my female owner was pulled aside by two security officers. Her belongings were screened for explosives and a body search was conducted on her. My female owner was calm about it, but she couldn’t help but wonder why she was singled out by the officers. Coming from the security industry, my female owner knows that there is nothing random about this. Especially when the same thing happened to her at the JFK airport last year (however, that time she was in a rush and that might have aroused some “suspicions”).

Which part of her looks like a suicide bomber? She was dressed in jeans, with a red tank top, sandals and her trusty yellow backpack. She didn’t even look as if she was bulging (she thinks!).

krispy kreme

My female owner realised that she should have more faith in her prayers. She had a nagging suspicion that her luggage was overweight. The baggage allowance was officially 20 kg but one can push the limit to about 25kg. Lugging her luggage around Brisbane City, she knew that she probably hit 30kg.

Ah, so while she waited patiently in line to check-in and in between reading “Opening Skinner’s Box”, a book which one of her friends lent her to bring to Brisbane to read (in the event that she is bored… and yes, she procrastinated reading the book until now, when she is on the way back to Singapore!), she prayed for God’a favour to be upon her. So that she can scrap through without having to pay for excess baggage (some of the weight belonged to her research supervisor, who asked her to bring some books to Singapore).

After an hour of waiting (yes, it was that slow..), she was at the head of the queue. She eyed each counter staff with anxiety… hoping to get the most friendly looking one. She observed the one and only male counter staff who was giving the male passenger he was serving a hard time. This stern looking middle-aged man insisted on weighing even the male passenger’s hand luggage.

To her horror, Mr Stern-looking served her next. With fear and apprehension, my female owner went forward, dragging luggage (hoping that it looked light), carrying her backpack and holding three boxes of Krispy Kreme.

SL: “No Krispy Kreme” (was the first thing he said to her).

FO: Stunned look.

SL: “You’ve got to leave those here” (gesturing to the counter top).

As what a submissive Asian Singaporean girl would do, my female owner obeyed (thinking how her Onli Frens were going to be disappointed)

Meekly she asked: “May I know why?” (she thought it was some new regulation)

SL: “Because I like them, that’s why”

Breaking into a smile, my female owner knew that all was good (Aussie slang).

They did a little small talk about Krispy Kreme and how he shocked her.

Next, weighing the luggage – she watched as the number crept up to 29kg. *sweat*

SL: “It should be 25kg” (gently and quietly)

FO: “Thank you so much.” (with a knowing smile)

There you go, she breezed through with an overweight luggage and a funny experience to remember. Ironically, just before this, she was reading the chapter on Stanley Milgram and Obedience to Authority.

9 weeks

What can you accomplish in 9 weeks? How much can you change in 9 weeks? What kind of memories, experiences and impact can you make in 9 weeks?

9 weeks. That’s how long my female owner is going to be in Singapore. 9 weeks is exactly 2 months, 1/6 of a year. 9 weeks is 2/3 of a 13-week academic semester, which is about the time when assignments are due.

What difference can 9 weeks make? Onli Fren’s baby is about 9 weeks old. You can lose about 5kg in 9 weeks. You can finish a short-term course in 9 weeks e.g. beginners’ salsa/ foreign language/ cooking.

What lies ahead for my female owner?
Special days: Her mother’s birthday, Christmas, her 18th birthday, New Year’s day, Chinese New Year.

Resumption of favourite activities: Aikido (top of her list), badminton, exercising (??), suppers, catching up with old friends, hanging out with Singaporean friends whom she made in Brisbane, baking with her Onli Fren and Brisbane-Singaporean friends, drinking (in moderation) with Potahto, playing with us turtles!

Food she must eat: all things Asian - laksa, chicken rice, carrot cake, char kway teow, chicken curry, nasi lemak, chilli crab, durians, Old Chang Kee chicken wings, Shilin mee sua, mother’s cooking of course, roti prata, mutton soup, mee goreng (the real one, not the instant noodle), Ajisen ramen noodle, satay, otar, kopitiam kopi. Desserts – ice kacang, chendol, mango sago, iced longan,

Places to visit: AMK Hub, St James Power Station, Orchard Road and the like, East Coast Beach, Geylang (for the food), Bukit Timah, Pulau Ubin (anybody wanna go with her?!)

Others: Short getaway with her Impromptu friends, hosting Brisbane-made friends

Un-fun stuff: Hopefully secure free-lance work, statistical analysis for RA work, meeting up with her research supervisor (who will be teaching at the local university), tidy up her laptop, read up on her thesis

5/92

And so, one significant period of my female owner’s life ended as she bode farewell to 5/92 Macquarie Street, the apartment which she called home for the last ten months. 5/92, being her maiden abode in Brisbane, holds sweet memories for her. Sharing living space with three other girls (highest number was seven ladies in a night) is a totally new experience for my female owner. Remember that all her life, she has lived with her parents and her elder brother. No other same-aged females around.

There is a saying that goes “wherever you are, there you are”. It is true to a large extent. In her previous job, my female owner tended to camp in her office, minding her own business and doing her own work. She hardly wandered out to socialise with the rest of the department. It was disturbing for her boss because he often had to pop in to see if she is ok (or maybe to check if she wass working). The same pattern could be seen from 5/92. My female owner tended to stay in her room (which she regards as her home office) to do her work. She hardly ventured out. She likened her apartment to an office space where people walked in and out throughout the day. In this case, the “colleagues” are church friends/ acquaintances who popped into her house for various reasons (often having nothing to do with her). And as with her former job, she would make time to chat with anyone who dared to step into her workspace to say hi.

Anyway, 5/92 was a lovely place to stay. It was a shame that my female owner never really took time to enjoy the river view that screamed out from the balcony, or the entertainment system in the living room and most sadly, the fellowship of church people when they popped in.

Oh well, all good things must come to an end. What remains are the good memories and friendships formed.

last

10 months flew by, with the snap of her fingers. My female owner went to Brisbane, feeling alone, vulnerable and reluctant, pursuing her life-long dusty dream of being a clinical psychologist. A dream she laid aside for many years, in the name of romantic love.

She arrived at Brisbane, not knowing many people, far from God, being the way she had always been – dysthymic, anxious and self-doubting. The course did nothing to validate her self-worth, self-esteem and abilities. Competency assessments served to remind her of her inadequacies, that she was “not there yet”. Assignments drew out the neurotic, anal side of her. Soon, my female owner realised that she had to give up the perfectionistic streak in her and be prepared to settle for “good enough”.

Coming from a CBT orientation, my female owner also started to be more aware of her own negative thoughts and how she placed unnecessary pressure on herself. She was anxious about being an Asian therapist. She wondered all the time, whether her clients discriminated against her.

Assimilating into an English-speaking culture took longer than she expected. The local slang and jargon were hard to grasp. Her Singaporean accent was so strong that she had to remind herself to tone down and speak slower. She couldn’t understand why Aussies used phrases that they did not mean, like “see you later”. Speaking in a modified accent was tiring. My female owner started to withdraw from people socially. She needed the space to be by herself.

Being among God-loving people was great. However, her self-consciousness about her age caused her to remain distant from most of her church friends. She chose not to join them for activities which were “for younger people”. Still, some were earnest and sincere in building relationships with her and gradually, she warmed up to a select few. Yet, at the end of the day, my female owner still griped about how she was not able to connect to most of them on an emotional and intimate level.

Ten months on, my female owner claims that she has changed and become more balanced.

She has developed a more balanced view of herself (“I am not as lousy as I think I am” – haha, still has some room for improvement!). She is no longer dysthymic – Praise God for the healing. She is more aware of her different emotions. Not everything is depression. She has learnt to accept her weight and body shape. Although all boys are bad, she no longer wants to throw stones at them. Right.. what I meant to say is that while my female owner is still feministic, she doesn’t think that all guys are bad anymore.

While she has not resolved her personal awkwardness about being older than most of her church friends, my female owner realised that she needs to change her mindset and be more open to relating to younger people as she would to her same-aged peers. She picked up some local lingo and integrated some into her daily speech – “hey”, “no drama”, “no worries”, “you’re alright”, “organise a time”, “would that work for you?” etc.

Now that it is the last night before she bids Brisbane farewell (temporarily), my female owner is pleasantly surprised that she feels sad about leaving. She never thought she would be sad or have any emotional attachment for Brisbane so quickly. Personally, I’m not sure if it is because my female owner has gotten used to the lifestyle and therefore, upset at the change in routine, or that she feels bonded to Brisbane. Nonetheless, my female owner says that Aussies are really nice and endearing people. She had been blessed by people from all walks of life – her cohort, her clients, her lecturers, her church friends, strangers… The warmth and hospitality shown by the locals were heartwarming and brought delight to her.

Ah.. I'm so tired.. I shall continue another day.. I need to plan a welcome-back Balcony party for my female owner.

hectic

My female owner’s last day in Brisbane was hectic.

Slept at 0300hr: Was packing her things and doing some heavy duty reading for her RA work.

Woke up at 0545hr. To give the washing machine enough time to wash her clothes as she needs to get out of the house by 0700hr.

0700hr: left the house to return the rental car for her housemate. My female owner had to rent the car for her housemate because she was the only person above 18+++++++ years old..

0740hr: caught the bus in the city back to school.

0810hr: prepared for meeting with her research supervisor.

0930hr: meeting (tried to look as if she did a lot of work, not sure if she succeeded)

1015hr: misc clinic work. Ran around trying to get people to sign administrative papers. Sent emails. Made phone-calls.

1130hr: caught the bus to Indooroopilly Shopping Centre

1200hr: looked around for stuff

1400hr: caught the bus to Toowong (or so she thought). Realised after 15mins that she was on the wrong bus… coz she found herself travelling in the wilderness, with grass and grazing horses. Kept sitting in the bus, hoping to go by a train station.

1420hr: decided to cut her losses and turn back. Her Intuitive Fren also happened to sms her at that time. By God’s grace, the bus arrived as she crossed over to the other side of the road. The friendly and empathetic bus-driver told her to take a seat when she told him that she was lost. So nice! You will never get that in Singapore.

1445hr: Reached Indooroopilly Shopping Centre (déjà vu?) Waited for her Intuitive Fren to come to pick her up.

1545hr: Finally came!

1600hr: Reached home. Continued her frantic packing (coz she needed to move at 2030hr tonight), in between talking to her Onli Fren.

1715hr: Left her packing and set off for school for a silly meeting. Got waylaid by some friends along the way to school.

1730hr: Meeting started. My female owner was in her usual meeting mode, i.e. disengaged.

1900hr: Pizza and wine dinner (she skipped the wine). Tried to avoid her CMI supervisor.

2000hr: Rushed home to finish packing.

2030hr: Her friends arrived to help her move.

2115hr: Walked home from her friend’s house. Called a church friend to arrange for another birthday celebration (never-ending!)

2130hr: Reached home. Finally, end of a hectic day of appointments. At some ease (coz still need to clear her room). MSN with Potahto and her Neighbour. Packed her luggage for Singapore. She suspects that she is overloaded again. Made herself a cup of coffee. She wanted to spend some time reflecting on the year.

Actually, that rushing from place to place, appointment to appointment had been her typical lifestyle for the past 9 months, except that in addition to that, she would be doing her coursework at night.

How did she survive with 4hrs of sleep? Oh! Did I mention that she weighed herself at 1115hr and realised that she lost 1.8kg?!

laughter

All through this year, my female owner had been too busy to join her church friends for most of their social activities, be it dinner after church or girls’ outing to somewhere or sports events.

It was only last night, that my female owner managed to tear herself away from her work to make tentative plans to meet three church gals for dinner. The plans were tentative because the gals had gone to the Gold Coast for a Wet and Wild adventure while my female owner spent her day in school, seeing clients. Such a loser! In her last week in Brisbane, my female owner was still frantically seeing clients. She didn’t even need the hours anymore. Credit to her, all she wanted was to help her clients as much as she can before she goes back. Hence, she never once thought of giving herself a client break.

That dinner turned out to be one of the most enjoyable gatherings my female owner ever had in Brisbane. It was a comfortable group size of five (Intuitive Fren hopped on impromptu-ly, so it was 4 gals and 1 boy). Squashed together into a small car, what else can you do but to chat and banter and laugh at anything and everything.

For the first time since she came to Brisbane, my female owner laughed with the same intensity as she used to do in Singapore with her good friends. Putting five people of different nationalities together (Bruneian, Chinese, Hongkonger, Australian and Singaporean) and making them speak English is simply creating a recipe for random silliness, pure innocence, and unexpected jokes (check out what Intuitive Fren wrote, starting from paragraph 5 of entry dated 9 Dec – too lazy to rewrite lah… must work smart, his English is definitely much better than a 6 year old turtle. hope it’s ok…).

Ah, those funny times, sorely missed by my female owner. She finally reconstructed some of it just before she returns home. Better late than never I suppose.

18th

My female owner was tickled by what happened during church service today.

You see, she was late for service and ended up sitting two rows behind where she would normally sit (i.e. among her bible study group members). From where she was seated, she saw them passing around a card to sign. My female owner reckoned that was a birthday card. She was perplexed, coz she was in charge of birthday celebrations and she knew that all birthdays were accounted for… except hers. Her suspicions grew as she observed the last guy trying to sneak the card into its envelope. And her suspicions mounted when no one passed the card to her to sign, especially when there were a few members sitting in the same row as her (yah, all late!)

Anyway, she didn’t really care and went about minding her own business. After service, she did the usual stuff – which was sit in her chair and observe the activities around her.

Randomly, from two rows in front, somebody handed the person sitting next to her, a hand-written note written on a folded envelope. The note instructed her bible study group members to meet outside the theatre at 1800hr sharp. This was not unusual, as the group would sometimes gather outside to receive mass announcements.

What happened next was unexpected. My female owner, for some unknown reason, turned the folded envelope around, and saw another handwritten note, which carried a similar message, except that it had an additional line…which was to meet outside to celebrate my female owner’s birthday.

Wahaha. My female owner was so stunned, amused and tickled that she just burst out into fits of giggles. The orchestrator of the surprise celebration looked at her in disbelief. People around her also looked stunned.

Nonetheless, it was a sweet gesture on their part, to try to surprise and bless her with a birthday celebration, before she comes home to us turtles. They gave her a card which read “happy 18th birthday” *grinz* (some sweet people even wished her happie 18th birthday!), a turtle card and a home-baked chocolate cake, complete with two yummy looking chocolate roses.

unfamiliar

My female owner is in an unfamiliar state of being – the state of being without pressing deadlines. This is probably the first weekend in a long while where she has no assignments or assessments due in the following week. The feeling is so foreign, so random, that she doesn’t know what to do.

Sure, there are things she could do, but those were things that did not warrant urgent deadlines or dire consequences if left undone for a while.

Ah… finally a lazy Saturday of nothingness…

fluffy

My fluffy sister, Nanook, got a (shell)shock of her life when she realised last night that my female owner would be back in a week’s time.

Where had she been? How could she not know?! We turtles had been talking about it for weeks! I think she takes after my female owner in the department of oblivion.


Anyway, fluffy Nanook looked stressed after the realisation hit home. Some coaxing by my skilful brother, Dodo (below), revealed her fears… she was afraid that my female owner would harp on her weight-gain since Jul 08.


Nah, don’t worry about it, I told her. Size is relative. Since my female owner also put on weight, relatively, Nanook would still be the same size. If luck has it, she might even be smaller!

Fluffy Nanook is in the foreground.

saying

My female owner apparently turned manic on Thursday, when she received her official results for her practical exam. That PASS signified the harvest of a year’s worth of hard work, sweat, pain, tears, agony, frustration, helplessness, fear and confusion. It also meant that she triumphed over the toughest year of her programme. She is a survivor!

There is an African saying that it takes a whole village to raise a child. My female owner thinks that the same applies to training a psychologist. Reflecting back on the year, my female owner is certainly grateful to many people who accompanied her on this journey.

Some came in the form of cyber cheerleaders who encouraged her to keep going. Others, especially her intimate friends, verbalised their belief in her abilities when she couldn’t see beyond the next assignment. There were Christian brethren who spoke words of wisdom in her times of searching and pointed her back to God, the ultimate source of help and refuge. In addition, countless undeserved listening ears, shoulders she cried on, helping hands and unreturned favours, each in its perfect timing, contributed to that pass.

Never forgetting, her parents who, in releasing her to pursue her dreams at their emotional and financial expense, demonstrated once again, their unconditional love for her AND us turtles! Patiently waiting for her return.

passed

For those who are wondering if my female owner passed her practical exam, I am happy to say that she passed all four stations with flying colours!

She had been so worried about this practical exam, because if she failed any of the stations, she would have to retake that station(s) in Feb 09. That means she would have a “nagging thought” at the back of her mind while she is back in Singapore. And if she still fails the station(s), she would have to redo her internship. That means, clocking up another 100hours of client hours. Not to mention, paying for the course again.

Anyway, she was and I suppose, still is thankful to God for making the process easier for her. For one, all the stations were “oral”. That means that she didn’t have to do any role-plays! Her greatest bane. And since she has the gift of thinking on her bum during “interview sessions” and a round face that signals that she is harmless, she was able to rattle off her answers.

For some unknown reason, all her examiners told her right after her “show and tell” sessions that she passed. They were not supposed to tell students as results were meant to be released at about 1600hr (my female owner later found out that not everyone was told immediately if they passed, so she boiled it down to God’s favour!). Anyway, knowing right away that she passed is certainly less nerve-wrecking and anxiety-provoking than having to wait for 6hrs to find out.

Thirdly, she absolutely didn’t prepare for the question that came out for one of her stations. But because she had been assigned two clients with the same issues as the case scenario, my female owner managed to answer the questions that followed. She knew she did well, coz her examiner who was the clinical programme director, wrote that my female owner “demonstrated excellent knowledge base”. How’s that for not even studying child issues?

So, with a grateful heart, my female owner gives all credit to God for the favour, knowledge and calmness He showered upon her during that agonising hour.

sounds

I think this sounds like my female owner. I've heard her Onli Fren and Functional Fren chastise her on some of the following points. Maybe they should note the second statement... before they attempt to bring her to her senses...

Such individuals are often characterised by pessimism and self-doubt, tend to belittle their abilities and assets, and may constantly refer to themselves as “stupid”. They take criticism and disapproval as proof of their worthlessness and lose faith in themselves. They may seek overprotection and dominance from others. Occupational functioning may be impaired if independent initiative is required. They may avoid positions of responsibilities and become anxious when faced with decisions. Social relations tend to be limited to those few people on whom the individual is dependent. They may be an increased risk of Mood Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, and Adjustment Disorder.

stressest

My female owner is in the “stressest period of her academic life”. She has a practical exam on Thursday where she needs to pass all four stations… otherwise she fails the arduous internship (yes, the one where she is being supervised by a CMI person).

She is so stressed, it is NOT funny. Imagine having to cramp ethics principles and guidelines, with diagnostic criteria of various psychological disorders (and knowing how to differentiate similar disorders), with the know-hows of therapy like relaxation training and cognitive restructuring, and tricks to deal with process issues like resistant client, non-compliance with homework etc… And to apply the knowledge and skills to any population group - children, adolescents, adults or older adults.

And after cramping in so much, you have no idea how you will be tested – written? Oral? Role-play?

My female owner realised fairly quickly that she is a typical Singaporean – she does well in written exams. Oral? Err… maybe back home, she probably aced interviews and trainings but in Brisbane, there seems to be a missing connection between the examiner and her. Role-plays? Evokes the greatest amount of anxiety in her. As if thinking on her bum is bad enough, now she has to respond to a role-player whose sole mission is to bring out the worst in her.

Everyone, please pray that she passes the four stations on Thursday.