afraid

My female owner is afraid of returning to Brisbane. If the rest of 2008 is going to be like the past 5 months, she wonders how she is going to come out of it, fired up to help people. This struggle, though temporal, seems endless. Slow and insidious pain. Stretching her in every direction, testing her tolerance and resources. The journey had been like the proverbial frog which was slowly being cooked in the boiling pot and didn’t know that he should jump out of the pot in order to avoid eventual death.

It was like her aikido partner who locks her down to the ground, and slowly twists her arm, testing how much pain she could bear before she surrenders to his lock.

It was like her Function Fren who tried to drive her manual car up a slope and struggled with the biting point. They ended up hovering between moving up or sliding backwards, with the car emitting strange noises.

In some ways, it was also like drinking! Each (binge) drinking session increases her tolerance. It also makes her thread with caution, and forces her to know when to stop, before being intoxicated and losing control of her senses (and embarrassing herself in the process). (For the record, my female owner is a better drinker now! No thanks to her increased body mass!)

It’s like finding a balance between pain and gain. In the words of a wise friend (she can’t remember who), “what is tough, will be worth it.”