round face

People say that babies like round things and that people with round faces look more friendly. My female owner attests to that. She has noticed that babies take to her readily, even though she ignores them. For example:

• Baby was at a table 2m away from female owner at a coffeeshop in Singapore. Baby kept looking at her. Female owner had no choice but to smile back and make faces at Baby. Baby kept looking and started to smile and laugh. Baby got so amused and kept laughing. He didn’t want to eat….and got scolded by mother.
• Female owner was in the bus. Baby was sitting diagonally across from her, 1.5m away. Baby kept looking. Female owner had to do as above. Baby started to smile…and female owner missed her bus stop.

I’ve said this a few times, that my female owner feels like a fish out of water, working at the parenting and family clinic, as she has minimal experience with children and parents. She’s really more into animals. But that’s precisely why she chose to be there anyway. She wanted to try out new things (she gets a kick making things difficult for herself).

This week, she had her parent-clients bring in their children for observations. In total, she saw a 3-yr-old child with autism, a sibling pair (brother, 7; sister, 5), and a pre-teen girl (9-yr-old).

The mother of the pre-teen girl was highly anxious about leaving the girl alone with my female owner, coz she felt that her daughter was not going to say anything more than “good, thanks”. That was exactly what happened, when my female owner spoke to her daughter in the presence of her parents and the mother gave my female owner a knowing look. Then, the parents left the room to allow some individual time. Using the tips she read from a book on how to interview children, she started her very first child interview. Some tips include

• Start with the positives – ask about school and what the child likes about it.
• Praise the child constantly for sharing – “that’s very nice of you to tell me that”. The power of praise cannot be emphasised more. It works really well with children (and adults of course). Just remember that you need to be specific about what the child did well.
• Express interest in what the child is sharing – “that’s really interesting”
• Check if the child is comfortable sharing potentially sensitive things – “is it okay if I ask about….?”
• Thank the child if she agrees – “thank you so much for allowing me to….”
• Mirror the child’s body language – this girl was apparently spilling her arms over the arms of the sofa, so my female owner went down to her level and she noticed the girl relaxing even more
• Maintain eye contact

The little girl ended up talking so much that her father knocked on the door to check if things were ok. After the session, she drew some pictures for my female owner to see. The mother must have been quite impressed (esp when she found out that the girl asked her father whether she would be seeing my female owner again) coz she joked about having my female owner over as a baby-sitter.

It must have been the round face. See? Putting on weight is good after all. Now my female owner has a rounder than round face which makes it even easier for her to connect to children.