It’s one of those days when my female owner feels mega-ly off. First, she didn’t want to go to church because she felt off. Funnily, she ended up reaching in time for pre-service prayer and that helped. Then, she didn’t want to socialise with people, so she sat at the side and of course she didn’t go for dinner (having spent all her money on drinks the night before).
And today, for the first time, she mulls whether taking up this doctorate programme is a mistake. That perhaps, if she could turn back time, she wouldn’t have pursued it. Life would have still gone on peaceably. Working in her previous organisation (or moving on?!), creating a niche for herself in youths, drawing a steady income, being surrounded by familiar and soothing people/ things/ lifestyle, attaining a dan belt in aikido?. The list goes on. Life might have been simpler.
This year, 2010, began for her, as shaky as 2008 did. Uncertainty, self-doubts, moodiness, split-personalities, inner conflicts, questioning and hypothesising filled her days. Getting and subsequently, rejecting the offer increased her sense of guilt towards her parents and self-condemnation. (Hence back to her wondering if taking up this doctorate was a bad mistake).
My female owner says that she is likely to be transiting from her quarter-life crisis (which started when she was about 23 years old) straight into mid-life crisis. Ah.. a through-train! Wonder if Dodo has any mid-life crisis, since he’s turning ten this year.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
numbing
Since my female owner was informed that her mother was sent to the hospital yesterday for blood in her urine, she nursed a numbing pain in her heart. As it was supposed to be a UTI, my female owner couldn’t work out why a CT scan and an endoscopy are needed.
It’s as if her worst fears came true. That something would happen to her parents when she is away. She had no one to cry to in Brisbane, so she cried to herself. Then she went out for dinner with a friend who finally broke up with her boyfriend, four days after she had a heart-to-heart talk with my female owner about her situation and my female owner found herself in the counselling role, supporting her through the aftermath of the decision. And then drinks with more friends followed, where she brushed aside her sadness and tried to be happy.
Just like in her previous job. Where she split herself from her personal issues to portray a certain persona.
Now, its time-out for her. Hopefully her mother will be ok.
It’s as if her worst fears came true. That something would happen to her parents when she is away. She had no one to cry to in Brisbane, so she cried to herself. Then she went out for dinner with a friend who finally broke up with her boyfriend, four days after she had a heart-to-heart talk with my female owner about her situation and my female owner found herself in the counselling role, supporting her through the aftermath of the decision. And then drinks with more friends followed, where she brushed aside her sadness and tried to be happy.
Just like in her previous job. Where she split herself from her personal issues to portray a certain persona.
Now, its time-out for her. Hopefully her mother will be ok.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
replacement
A new housemate is moving in her house and my female owner ain’t looking forward to it.
Right now, she has two housemates. One is the daughter of the owner of the house who has just gone home for an extended holiday. The other, is leaving for good next week. My female owner has been looking forward to a fortnight of being home alone (hear her anti-social, hermit, reclusive genes crying out loud) but now, it seems her plans are thwarted, because this stranger is moving in the day the other housemate is leaving for good.
So not fun, she says.
Right now, she has two housemates. One is the daughter of the owner of the house who has just gone home for an extended holiday. The other, is leaving for good next week. My female owner has been looking forward to a fortnight of being home alone (hear her anti-social, hermit, reclusive genes crying out loud) but now, it seems her plans are thwarted, because this stranger is moving in the day the other housemate is leaving for good.
So not fun, she says.
jog
My female owner acted on her conscience and went for a short jog (around 20mins) around her estate yesterday. I said acted on her conscience for a few reasons. Firstly, this was the same afternoon when she finished up all the pineapple tarts that Onli Fren gave her as a farewell gift. Secondly, she had not exercised for possibly about 2 months. Thirdly, the day before she left Singapore, Best Fern volunteered to drive her around as she rushed to complete her last minute errands, one of which involved buying a new pair of sports shoes (under much time pressure – he strategically placed lunch after shoe shopping so she had to hurry up and make a decision about her shoes or else she would starve). So she felt that she better start her exercise regime so that Best Fern’s efforts won’t go down the drain.
As a result of the jog, she found out, quite happily, that the closest shops were an easy 7mins walk away (think “quick access to food”). She also realised that there was no nice scenery around her area – just houses and roads… on slopes and gradients. This made her miss even more, the times she jogged around school with Jogging Kakis. My female owner reckons she never really lost weight through those jogs. Rather, those jogs (and fellowship) helped to alleviate her inner pressures and of course, give her false hopes that she is probably going to lose some unwanted weight. Finally, she figured that 20mins of jogging is really not too difficult after all and she might do more short runs in future.
As a result of the jog, she found out, quite happily, that the closest shops were an easy 7mins walk away (think “quick access to food”). She also realised that there was no nice scenery around her area – just houses and roads… on slopes and gradients. This made her miss even more, the times she jogged around school with Jogging Kakis. My female owner reckons she never really lost weight through those jogs. Rather, those jogs (and fellowship) helped to alleviate her inner pressures and of course, give her false hopes that she is probably going to lose some unwanted weight. Finally, she figured that 20mins of jogging is really not too difficult after all and she might do more short runs in future.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Neglected Keystrokes
trendy group therapy!
My female owner finally remembered that her thesis topic is about group therapy. Hopefully this will cheer her up.
(i just love the Aussie accent. Why can't my female owner speak like that?)
updates
Was just flicking through my Turtle Pad when I stumbled upon this entry which I wrote on 18 Feb 2008, when she just went over to Brisbane. At that time, she only expected to spend two years in Brisbane studying for her Masters and thereafter graduating at the end of 2009.
Thought it would be nice to give some updates on the changes she thought she would see by the time she was expected to graduate.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Today is significant for my female owner as she is standing at a crossroad of her life - where she crosses over from being a civil servant to being a student. 18 Feb, it is her official last day at her workplace and the first day of school. She likend it to someone who crosses over from death to life.
By the time she completes her studies, so many things would have changed.
Confirmed changes
i) P would have finished serving her 6 years bond and be free! – Yes!
ii) Q would have completed her A levels – Yes and going to start relief teaching soon
iii) U would have a house to call his home – More than that, a car and sexy iphone too
iv) E and B would be almost on par with her for aikido – Yes, but sadly, no longer in much contact
v) Her couple frens aka badminton kakis would be married and have houses to call their own – Yes, plus a baby for one of the couples
vi) J would be back in Singapore, working – Yes, and happily attached too
Unconfirmed changes
i) Maybe her Onli fren would be a mother by then? – Yes, with the cutest toddler ever
ii) Maybe Eggplant too? – Nope, still prefer to be childless
iii) Maybe her couple frens would be parents too? – Planning stage, that's why they came over last year to visit.
iv) Maybe EC would be doing missionary work by then? – Think she is doing great work in the area of saving cats
v) Maybe my female owner would be a better drinker by then? – Possibly, but she is picky over who she drinks with
Thought it would be nice to give some updates on the changes she thought she would see by the time she was expected to graduate.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Today is significant for my female owner as she is standing at a crossroad of her life - where she crosses over from being a civil servant to being a student. 18 Feb, it is her official last day at her workplace and the first day of school. She likend it to someone who crosses over from death to life.
By the time she completes her studies, so many things would have changed.
Confirmed changes
i) P would have finished serving her 6 years bond and be free! – Yes!
ii) Q would have completed her A levels – Yes and going to start relief teaching soon
iii) U would have a house to call his home – More than that, a car and sexy iphone too
iv) E and B would be almost on par with her for aikido – Yes, but sadly, no longer in much contact
v) Her couple frens aka badminton kakis would be married and have houses to call their own – Yes, plus a baby for one of the couples
vi) J would be back in Singapore, working – Yes, and happily attached too
Unconfirmed changes
i) Maybe her Onli fren would be a mother by then? – Yes, with the cutest toddler ever
ii) Maybe Eggplant too? – Nope, still prefer to be childless
iii) Maybe her couple frens would be parents too? – Planning stage, that's why they came over last year to visit.
iv) Maybe EC would be doing missionary work by then? – Think she is doing great work in the area of saving cats
v) Maybe my female owner would be a better drinker by then? – Possibly, but she is picky over who she drinks with
numbing
Anxiety hits you in two main ways it seems. One, you do whatever you can to make sure that the worst does not happen. Two, you get paralysed by fear, that you avoid doing anything. My female owner, a long-standing winner in the field of anxiety, swings both ways.
Today, she was griped with a numbing fear that she would not be able to meet up with the demands of her extended placement and writing a 50k-word thesis, in the midst of managing the daily hassles of life. It’s numbing because the fear paralyses her from doing any constructive. Magnifies her self-doubts and consumes her, as she wrestles with her inner thoughts.
Until she realises that someone sent her an e-card, with the message from Matthew 6: 25,33
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will puton. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
But seek first the kingdom of God and Hid righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”
How timely…
Today, she was griped with a numbing fear that she would not be able to meet up with the demands of her extended placement and writing a 50k-word thesis, in the midst of managing the daily hassles of life. It’s numbing because the fear paralyses her from doing any constructive. Magnifies her self-doubts and consumes her, as she wrestles with her inner thoughts.
Until she realises that someone sent her an e-card, with the message from Matthew 6: 25,33
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will puton. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
But seek first the kingdom of God and Hid righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”
How timely…
one week
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Been exactly a week since my female owner left.
She is trying to make better (not full, coz she is still trying to get into the right momentum) use of the fact that she came back earlier than she should have and do things that would help ease her re-entry into Brisbane.
She moved rooms and feels more settled in the secluded corner of the house. To add to the roomy atmosphere, she also invested in a warm light and a bedside table.
She attended the farewell party for some bible study friends, went back to church and attended the prayer meeting.
She met up with her new clinical supervisor, emailed her research supervisor on matters and settled several administrative issues such as getting a new certificate of enrolment (in order to reapply for another student visa), renewing insurance, Blue Card, bank records etc.
Her housemate hosted a laksa party with a small group of friends and she had great fun with the random mix of people. She also had an impromptu supper at her friends’ new house in the southside. Super nice house, she says.
She also practised her guitar and surprise surprise, her long-abandoned flute! In a bid to be less anti-social, she had lunch with an acquaintance and they ended up talking about music and instruments. Inspired, my female owner looked up some possible music activities she could participate in.
Oh well... since past behaviour predicts future behaviour, slowly but surely, she will get into the swing of things.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
somewhere
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to”, said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where…”, said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go”, said the Cat.
“… so long as I get somewhere”, Alice added as an explanation”
“Oh, you’re sure to do that”, said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough”.
(Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland)
Sometimes, my female owner feels as if she is like Alice. Perhaps if she walk long enough, she would get to somewhere, somewhere where she can say, she has arrived at her destination.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to”, said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where…”, said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go”, said the Cat.
“… so long as I get somewhere”, Alice added as an explanation”
“Oh, you’re sure to do that”, said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough”.
(Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland)
Sometimes, my female owner feels as if she is like Alice. Perhaps if she walk long enough, she would get to somewhere, somewhere where she can say, she has arrived at her destination.
Monday, January 25, 2010
contradiction
And so, it was the most hilarious farewell ever.
A short while before my female owner was due to leave Singapore, Mr Walking Contradiction boldly announced that “you sure cry one” when it is time for her to leave Singapore. My female owner obstinately said he was wrong, she was confident that no tears would be shed.
Come Wednesday afternoon, the day she was due to leave. Mr Walking Contradiction met her for an afternoon dessert. On the way back to her house, he played a song “Goodbye” for her in the car. Because it was in a different language, he translated the lyrics as the song was played. It was so hilarious, the funnie tone he used and the misfit of the lyrics (coz it was about two lovers), that my female owner started going into pits of laughter. Mr Walking Contradiction also started laughing.
Alas, as her house drew nearer, my female owner felt a wave of sadness coming over her. Although they had been friends for a few years, my female owner reckoned that the happenings of this holiday had drew them even closer and brought them into a deeper understanding of each other. Having been greatly blessed by Mr Walking Contradiction’s friendship and company, my female owner started to cry for having to say goodbye to him (he was so right).
But Mr Walking Contradiction kept up his funnie translation antics (apparently, the song was so long) and my female owner ended up laughing and crying at the same time. To the point that he looked at her in shock and wondered if she was crying tears of laugher or crying tears of sadness. Methinks he never really figured it out. Exasperated, he finally said “you are the Walking Contradiction!”
A short while before my female owner was due to leave Singapore, Mr Walking Contradiction boldly announced that “you sure cry one” when it is time for her to leave Singapore. My female owner obstinately said he was wrong, she was confident that no tears would be shed.
Come Wednesday afternoon, the day she was due to leave. Mr Walking Contradiction met her for an afternoon dessert. On the way back to her house, he played a song “Goodbye” for her in the car. Because it was in a different language, he translated the lyrics as the song was played. It was so hilarious, the funnie tone he used and the misfit of the lyrics (coz it was about two lovers), that my female owner started going into pits of laughter. Mr Walking Contradiction also started laughing.
Alas, as her house drew nearer, my female owner felt a wave of sadness coming over her. Although they had been friends for a few years, my female owner reckoned that the happenings of this holiday had drew them even closer and brought them into a deeper understanding of each other. Having been greatly blessed by Mr Walking Contradiction’s friendship and company, my female owner started to cry for having to say goodbye to him (he was so right).
But Mr Walking Contradiction kept up his funnie translation antics (apparently, the song was so long) and my female owner ended up laughing and crying at the same time. To the point that he looked at her in shock and wondered if she was crying tears of laugher or crying tears of sadness. Methinks he never really figured it out. Exasperated, he finally said “you are the Walking Contradiction!”
Wong Fu
This must have birthed out of everyday observations of upside down turtles like Dodo. Taken from, Wong Fu Store, an online store for nice guys and nice gals. There are even nice tops too!
Korean Jogging Kaki would appreciate this t-shirt that teaches him how to write "jiayo" in Mandarin.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
planning
My female owner described the feeling of returning to her house in Brisbane as similar to someone who suffered a traumatic brain injury, spent some months recuperating in hospital, and returning home to find things vaguely familiar. That’s the difference she says, between Singapore and Brisbane. Returning to Singapore is as if she never left. Going back to Brisbane is as if she entered a different timezone, where she needs time to adjust and maybe, self-convincing that things will turn out ok.
Given these pro-Singapore-ambivalent-Brisbane feelings, I can’t help but wonder why she cried so hard when she decided that she should take on the offer (which means saying bye to Brisbane for good). What caused the emo-ness then? I think she is just mixed-up inside.
Anyway, now that she has oozed into Brisbane life for three days and done some brainless things, my female owner is finally ready to embark on some rudimentary planning for 2010. At the very least, she intends to set some goals, do some budgeting and accounting.
Quick do, its almost the end of Jan!!
Given these pro-Singapore-ambivalent-Brisbane feelings, I can’t help but wonder why she cried so hard when she decided that she should take on the offer (which means saying bye to Brisbane for good). What caused the emo-ness then? I think she is just mixed-up inside.
Anyway, now that she has oozed into Brisbane life for three days and done some brainless things, my female owner is finally ready to embark on some rudimentary planning for 2010. At the very least, she intends to set some goals, do some budgeting and accounting.
Quick do, its almost the end of Jan!!
corner
My female owner's first weekend in Brisbane. Although she knew that she would feel really bored staying at home (after all, this hardly happens in Singapore), my female owner didn't feel like doing happy things (like fishing?). Not surprising, she ended up staying at home the whole day, chatting, reading and moving rooms!
My female owner characteristically prefers to dwell in a corner office/ room/ habitat. Hence, when one of her housemates moved out, she decided to move into the corner room. The main reason was that she would get an unobstruated window view into the (dodgy) garden.
Took her one day of ploughing to get her new room into shape.
My female owner characteristically prefers to dwell in a corner office/ room/ habitat. Hence, when one of her housemates moved out, she decided to move into the corner room. The main reason was that she would get an unobstruated window view into the (dodgy) garden.
Took her one day of ploughing to get her new room into shape.
Emptiness ...
The view, nothing to shout about, but better than nothing (the window of her other room is blocked by metal shields)
She finally got her things sorted out ... sort of
finally, a real wardrobe!
her beloved playshelf with more friends added to it 
and guess what?! a full-length mirror for the first time! 
fun fun
My female owner woke up feeling miserable. It’s Saturday and she has nothing to look forward to in Brisbane. In sharp contrast, she can think of heaps of things to entertain herself in Singapore. The last two days in Brisbane hadn’t been fun fun.
She arrived on Thursday, was picked up by her friend and “slept her sianz away” in the afternoon. She woke up around dinner time, coz Mr Nice Guy was coming over to decorate the house for a farewell party for some bible study people on Friday. The first time he said to her was “eh, can you come outside to help me carry things?” Hmm.. wonder why my female owner always get suaned by people.
My female owner tried to find reasons for coming back to Brisbane so early but couldn’t. Her consolation was that Mr Nice Guy, Housemate and her went out for drinks after decorating the house. Ah, something that makes her feel at home. What’s more, there were some male eye candy in the shop.
Friday came. My female owner tore herself from home (remember, she doesn’t like going out if transport is difficult) to meet her new clinical supervisor. While the meeting was good, it didn’t help that she could only start her placement in Feb. Her first thought was predictably, then why go back to Brisbane so early? Even more sianz, she messaged good old Best Fern who told her to just relax in Brisbane.
Her next intended stop was the university as she wanted to settle her visa issues. In the city, she met an acquaintance, literally someone whom she had spoken to once. My female owner ended up having lunch and going shopping with her. Was a fruitful time for her, she reckons. And she ended up getting Mr Nice Guy to pick her up from the city to go back home for the farewell party.
Farewell party was sweet, wacky and nostalgic. Everyone turned up. My female owner knew deep within her heart that this was the main reason why she did not change her air-ticket or why she stopped praying that her flight would be overbooked and that she would be asked to travel later (this happened to her before). Still, my female owner felt a sense of distance from the group but reckons that she will warm up fairly quickly.
After all, nothing could be worse than last year when she returned, when she did not have a place to stay, had to go house-hunting in the hot summer sun, had to join a new bible study group and complete the remnants of her internship . In comparison, this year is much kinder. She has a house to return to (but she is moving room!!), no need to move stuff or buy furniture and an established bible study group of friends to hang out with.
For now, she is still feeling blue.
She arrived on Thursday, was picked up by her friend and “slept her sianz away” in the afternoon. She woke up around dinner time, coz Mr Nice Guy was coming over to decorate the house for a farewell party for some bible study people on Friday. The first time he said to her was “eh, can you come outside to help me carry things?” Hmm.. wonder why my female owner always get suaned by people.
My female owner tried to find reasons for coming back to Brisbane so early but couldn’t. Her consolation was that Mr Nice Guy, Housemate and her went out for drinks after decorating the house. Ah, something that makes her feel at home. What’s more, there were some male eye candy in the shop.
Friday came. My female owner tore herself from home (remember, she doesn’t like going out if transport is difficult) to meet her new clinical supervisor. While the meeting was good, it didn’t help that she could only start her placement in Feb. Her first thought was predictably, then why go back to Brisbane so early? Even more sianz, she messaged good old Best Fern who told her to just relax in Brisbane.
Her next intended stop was the university as she wanted to settle her visa issues. In the city, she met an acquaintance, literally someone whom she had spoken to once. My female owner ended up having lunch and going shopping with her. Was a fruitful time for her, she reckons. And she ended up getting Mr Nice Guy to pick her up from the city to go back home for the farewell party.
Farewell party was sweet, wacky and nostalgic. Everyone turned up. My female owner knew deep within her heart that this was the main reason why she did not change her air-ticket or why she stopped praying that her flight would be overbooked and that she would be asked to travel later (this happened to her before). Still, my female owner felt a sense of distance from the group but reckons that she will warm up fairly quickly.
After all, nothing could be worse than last year when she returned, when she did not have a place to stay, had to go house-hunting in the hot summer sun, had to join a new bible study group and complete the remnants of her internship . In comparison, this year is much kinder. She has a house to return to (but she is moving room!!), no need to move stuff or buy furniture and an established bible study group of friends to hang out with.
For now, she is still feeling blue.
count
My female owner said that her recent holiday to Singapore felt incomplete and truncated. Unlike the previous time when she worked and played at the same time, this time, she chose to spend time with family, friends and turtles. She lost interest in some usual activities such as badminton, aikido and even drinking with buddies (you can take it as she didn’t go drinking at all). She also did not meet up with some people whom she would normally meet up with and gave some parts of Singapore a complete miss. In fact, she also didn’t take us out for walks as often.
Rather than the usual activities, this time, she explored rural parts of Singapore, went to church a few times, probably overdosed on durians and nasi lemak. She even went on a short vacation with her parents. She saw a widening gap between herself and some friends, gaps that formed as a result of physical distance, shift of priorities and inertia. But at the same time, she saw her friendships with some friends become stronger, despite the physical distance her overseas exploits had wedged between them.
Falling sick because of stress was anti-climax for my female owner. Since then, she never really gained back her hearty appetite and scoffed at all things salty, sweet, buttery and carbohydrates. And she never got to eat her chilli crabs.
I suppose every holiday is different and there is no point comparing one to the other. People change, situations alter and priorities shuffle. What’s important is to make every holiday count.
Rather than the usual activities, this time, she explored rural parts of Singapore, went to church a few times, probably overdosed on durians and nasi lemak. She even went on a short vacation with her parents. She saw a widening gap between herself and some friends, gaps that formed as a result of physical distance, shift of priorities and inertia. But at the same time, she saw her friendships with some friends become stronger, despite the physical distance her overseas exploits had wedged between them.
Falling sick because of stress was anti-climax for my female owner. Since then, she never really gained back her hearty appetite and scoffed at all things salty, sweet, buttery and carbohydrates. And she never got to eat her chilli crabs.
I suppose every holiday is different and there is no point comparing one to the other. People change, situations alter and priorities shuffle. What’s important is to make every holiday count.
Friday, January 22, 2010
cleaned
My female owner finally reached Brisbane. We miss her already. Before she left yesterday, she managed to give us all a body scrub as promised. Exfoliated our dead skin. Some of us (like me) have more sensitive skin and shell. So we react badly to the turtlehandling. But the aftermath is so euphoric. Squeaky clean. We turtles feel as if our pores are unclogged and our skin is breathing easier.
My female owner also got her mother to cut our nails. This is a yearly nightmare which I do not want to dwell too much about it. I shall refer you to what happened last year as an indication of what happened this year. Although I must say, the only casualty this year was Dodo who bled from his front paw and left trails of blood stains all over the Balcony because he couldn’t keep still.
Ah, we are ready for Chinese New Year!
My female owner also got her mother to cut our nails. This is a yearly nightmare which I do not want to dwell too much about it. I shall refer you to what happened last year as an indication of what happened this year. Although I must say, the only casualty this year was Dodo who bled from his front paw and left trails of blood stains all over the Balcony because he couldn’t keep still.
Ah, we are ready for Chinese New Year!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
sulking
Oh no, I didn’t realise how quickly time flies. This is my female owner’s last night in Singapore. 45 days (or thereabouts) flew by us so fast. The thought of my female owner leaving us for the rest of the year is depressing. I say it justifies us turtles sulking in the corner.
My female owner says she hasn’t done some of the things she wanted to do with us. Like giving us a body scrub and a manicure. And even taking us out for walks around the house (she did it like three times in total). Happily, she managed to stock up on one year’s supply of food this week. Another one of her infamous procrastination antics where she would say there is enough time, until reality hits home and she goes, oh sheesh! It’s now or never. By divine intervention, she managed to get a friend to do a detour to her regular aquarium while they were out for breakfast. Hence, she didn’t have to lug around 12 bottles of mighty pellets like a refugee.
And yes, she said that she would do the body scrub and manicure tomorrow..
My female owner says she hasn’t done some of the things she wanted to do with us. Like giving us a body scrub and a manicure. And even taking us out for walks around the house (she did it like three times in total). Happily, she managed to stock up on one year’s supply of food this week. Another one of her infamous procrastination antics where she would say there is enough time, until reality hits home and she goes, oh sheesh! It’s now or never. By divine intervention, she managed to get a friend to do a detour to her regular aquarium while they were out for breakfast. Hence, she didn’t have to lug around 12 bottles of mighty pellets like a refugee.
And yes, she said that she would do the body scrub and manicure tomorrow..
Monday, January 18, 2010
home alone
My female owner is finally back from Cambodia! She scooted off on Thursday with her parents, leaving us turtles home alone. She was prepared to allow us to go without food until Sunday but divine intervention had it that her part-time cleaner was able to come to the house on Saturday and hence, was tasked to feed us turtles.
Phew. We didn’t go hungry.
My female owner says Cambodia was a lovely time, especially the part about being able to spend it with her parents. The last time she went on a holiday with both of them was in 2004 to South Africa. Then, it was a packaged tour and they were at the mercies of a dodgy tour agency who left them stranded without a tour guide and a tight schedule to follow.
This time, my female owner planned the itinerary and was able to include things that would interest her parents. Her travelling mantra, go as friends and come back as greater friends, was not really relevant in this trip. Anyway, it is great to see that they have come back as a family, hopefully more strongly bonded.
So scary to be home alone for so long.
Phew. We didn’t go hungry.
My female owner says Cambodia was a lovely time, especially the part about being able to spend it with her parents. The last time she went on a holiday with both of them was in 2004 to South Africa. Then, it was a packaged tour and they were at the mercies of a dodgy tour agency who left them stranded without a tour guide and a tight schedule to follow.
This time, my female owner planned the itinerary and was able to include things that would interest her parents. Her travelling mantra, go as friends and come back as greater friends, was not really relevant in this trip. Anyway, it is great to see that they have come back as a family, hopefully more strongly bonded.
So scary to be home alone for so long.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
disorientation
My female owner wonders if turtles will die of disorientation (i.e. being upside down for a prolonged period of time). You see, Dodo recently developed this habit of turning upside down once a day. He would be trying to scale something, say the ledge or wall or the tank and would somehow, flip over. He would then make those pitiful scrapping sounds while trying to flip himself back up and would inevitably attract my female owner's attention.
Dodo has therefore earned the nickname, silly turtle. Therapist Fren, the eternal optimist, suggests that maybe he enjoys seeing the world upside down. To which my female owner retorts, if that is the case, why is he giving conflicting body language through his desperate attempts to turn the right way up? It's confusing her, she says.
Anyway, my female owner recently left for a four-day holiday with her parents to Cambodia. That means that no one is at home during this period to flip Dodo back up, if he does his turtle dance. And my anxiety-prone female owner started to wonder what might happen if he turns turtle and remains on his back until the family returns home. Would he die of disorientation? According to Therapist Fren (she actually did a professional google search on this topic on her own accord - so nice), there is no such history of turtles dying by disorientation. Phew!
Ah, and my female owner, the eternal pessimist, wonders if Dodo might turn out to be the first ever recorded case study of death by disorientation.
Dodo has therefore earned the nickname, silly turtle. Therapist Fren, the eternal optimist, suggests that maybe he enjoys seeing the world upside down. To which my female owner retorts, if that is the case, why is he giving conflicting body language through his desperate attempts to turn the right way up? It's confusing her, she says.
Anyway, my female owner recently left for a four-day holiday with her parents to Cambodia. That means that no one is at home during this period to flip Dodo back up, if he does his turtle dance. And my anxiety-prone female owner started to wonder what might happen if he turns turtle and remains on his back until the family returns home. Would he die of disorientation? According to Therapist Fren (she actually did a professional google search on this topic on her own accord - so nice), there is no such history of turtles dying by disorientation. Phew!
Ah, and my female owner, the eternal pessimist, wonders if Dodo might turn out to be the first ever recorded case study of death by disorientation.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
friends
My female owner’s holiday is coming to an end. She is getting worked up about it, coz she really wants to extend her stay in Singapore, just to make up for lost time (over moping).
My female owner says that one mindset she is repenting from is her tireless claim that “I have no friends”. Everyone, say hooray! No more rolling of eyes.
Again and again, through this holiday, my female owner finds herself being blessed by different pockets of friends. Friends who initiate meet-ups, insist that they have to meet up and shift around their schedules just to fit into hers. Friends who keep paying for her meals and other expenses coz “you are a student”. Friends who say “so good to see you again!”. Friends who plan activities she enjoy, drive her around, repair her computer, locate things she wants to buy. Friends who spend time listening to her whines, gripes and outbursts.
Although she has been going out most days, there is still a list of friends whom my female owner has not met up with. Call it procrastination, lazy or poor planning, if you will. I will say it’s passivity! Therapist Fren says my female owner has issues about people wanting to be friends with her. I wonder why.
My female owner acknowledges that given her passivity, many of her friendships have been sustained by her friends’ proactiveness in maintaining contact. In addition, she has finally figured out that it is really ok, and in fact, heatwarming to meet up long-time-no-see friends even if they are not really close.
My female owner says that one mindset she is repenting from is her tireless claim that “I have no friends”. Everyone, say hooray! No more rolling of eyes.
Again and again, through this holiday, my female owner finds herself being blessed by different pockets of friends. Friends who initiate meet-ups, insist that they have to meet up and shift around their schedules just to fit into hers. Friends who keep paying for her meals and other expenses coz “you are a student”. Friends who say “so good to see you again!”. Friends who plan activities she enjoy, drive her around, repair her computer, locate things she wants to buy. Friends who spend time listening to her whines, gripes and outbursts.
Although she has been going out most days, there is still a list of friends whom my female owner has not met up with. Call it procrastination, lazy or poor planning, if you will. I will say it’s passivity! Therapist Fren says my female owner has issues about people wanting to be friends with her. I wonder why.
My female owner acknowledges that given her passivity, many of her friendships have been sustained by her friends’ proactiveness in maintaining contact. In addition, she has finally figured out that it is really ok, and in fact, heatwarming to meet up long-time-no-see friends even if they are not really close.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
whim
My female owner’s latest whim: she wants to postpone her return to Brisbane, given that she wasted about two weeks in distress over the decision.
There are a few factors to consider in extending her stay and I think she is going to sort them out fairly quickly. After all, her days in Singapore are numbered. If she doesn’t sort them out fast, she can’t make changes to her flight.
Sometimes, I think she is operating younger than what’s expected of her biological age. She used to say that it is a miracle that she has lived until this age, given her blurness and poor planning. I can’t help but agree at times.
There are a few factors to consider in extending her stay and I think she is going to sort them out fairly quickly. After all, her days in Singapore are numbered. If she doesn’t sort them out fast, she can’t make changes to her flight.
Sometimes, I think she is operating younger than what’s expected of her biological age. She used to say that it is a miracle that she has lived until this age, given her blurness and poor planning. I can’t help but agree at times.
Monday, January 11, 2010
nothing
My female owner had an emotional roller coaster week, so extreme and intense that I can’t even start writing about it, lest I start hyperventilating.
She got so down at one point that she started to catastrophise that this has been the worst holiday ever and wished she never came back. She also fell ill, developed more (psychosomatic) symptoms and lost her appetite even when her fever was gone. She spent her time at home sleeping and if she hadn’t made prior agreement to meet, abstained from other appointments and moped around at home… and slept through the day.
Much ado about nothing, she says.
She got so down at one point that she started to catastrophise that this has been the worst holiday ever and wished she never came back. She also fell ill, developed more (psychosomatic) symptoms and lost her appetite even when her fever was gone. She spent her time at home sleeping and if she hadn’t made prior agreement to meet, abstained from other appointments and moped around at home… and slept through the day.
Much ado about nothing, she says.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
pre-mobile
My female owner took a trip back to pre-mobile days recently.
In the pre-historic days, social appointments were set clearly – time and venue decided beforehand, confirmed through landline phonecalls, face-to-face or alphanumeric paging. Hence, friends had to be physically present at a prearranged time and venue and risk incurring the wrath of friends if they were late.
Mobile phones redefined how social appointments are set. “Ok, meet there around 3pm, call me when you reach.”
And so, my female owner set an appointment with her friend – 4pm at 313, but no specific location within the huge shopping centre. Unfortunately, the appointment was made over MSN and none of them had each other’s mobile number. My female owner arrived 10mins late, lost and tried to think like a guy. She decided to wait near the concierge, entrance of 313 where there were seats for shoppers to rest. She thought it was the most logical place to start looking for someone.
She waited for 45mins, before she spotted her perspiring friend. It turned out that he probably tried to think like a woman. He started from the top and went from shop to shop looking for her… and in the process, learnt that Forever 21 has three levels of shopping space.
My female owner was touched that he took such great pains to locate her in the shops despite his non-shopping tendencies (and even apologised for the oversight) and felt pai-say that all she did was to sit on the chairs looking out for him. She argued that she was on heels so it was painful to walk around. Anyway, she was feeling lousy that day.
So interesting, to see the difference between how guys and gals think.
In the pre-historic days, social appointments were set clearly – time and venue decided beforehand, confirmed through landline phonecalls, face-to-face or alphanumeric paging. Hence, friends had to be physically present at a prearranged time and venue and risk incurring the wrath of friends if they were late.
Mobile phones redefined how social appointments are set. “Ok, meet there around 3pm, call me when you reach.”
And so, my female owner set an appointment with her friend – 4pm at 313, but no specific location within the huge shopping centre. Unfortunately, the appointment was made over MSN and none of them had each other’s mobile number. My female owner arrived 10mins late, lost and tried to think like a guy. She decided to wait near the concierge, entrance of 313 where there were seats for shoppers to rest. She thought it was the most logical place to start looking for someone.
She waited for 45mins, before she spotted her perspiring friend. It turned out that he probably tried to think like a woman. He started from the top and went from shop to shop looking for her… and in the process, learnt that Forever 21 has three levels of shopping space.
My female owner was touched that he took such great pains to locate her in the shops despite his non-shopping tendencies (and even apologised for the oversight) and felt pai-say that all she did was to sit on the chairs looking out for him. She argued that she was on heels so it was painful to walk around. Anyway, she was feeling lousy that day.
So interesting, to see the difference between how guys and gals think.
Friday, January 08, 2010
happy
Let me write something happier today. Hmm.
What makes a turtle happy?
Food.
Clean water.
Food.
Sleep.
Food.
Space.
Food.
Sunbathing.
Food.
Food.
Sometimes, company.
Definitely food.
Sounds simple enough eh. That’s why we make great pets!
What makes Nooki unhappy?
No food.
Getting a body scrub.
No food.
Getting a prolapse.
No food.
Being called fat.
No food.
Being forced to swim.
No food.
No food.
No food.
Being called yellow.
Being tapped on my shell.
No food.
Dirty water.
What makes a turtle happy?
Food.
Clean water.
Food.
Sleep.
Food.
Space.
Food.
Sunbathing.
Food.
Food.
Sometimes, company.
Definitely food.
Sounds simple enough eh. That’s why we make great pets!
What makes Nooki unhappy?
No food.
Getting a body scrub.
No food.
Getting a prolapse.
No food.
Being called fat.
No food.
Being forced to swim.
No food.
No food.
No food.
Being called yellow.
Being tapped on my shell.
No food.
Dirty water.
implode
My female owner is now depressed. Having more or less decided to return to Singapore (she is still not ready to commit to her decision), she is grieving. With its quiet environment, Brisbane set her free psychologically and emotionally. With gentle soothing, it calmed the raging tempest within her. Among many things, my female owner is fearful that back to the local chaotic environment, she will revert to the old, depressive and aimless her. Maybe it is a needless fear coz she should be stronger and more mature by now. There are so many ways to look at things and my female owner’s tendency to look at multiple angles and feel for people at different spots is causing her to implode.
Tell you, I’ve never seen her like this for a long time. Not since she was in a relationship. She wasn’t even like this when she was upset (remember all that drama?) about having to leave Singapore for Brisbane. Methinks her mood is exacerbated by high anxiety.
highlights of the naughties
- Attaining 3rd Kyu in aikido (and recruiting people to the sport)
- Attaining Grade 8 in flute despite the odds
- Breaking out of AGAB mentality
- Embarking on postgrad studies
- Ending a terminal BGR of 6.5 years
- Exploring nature - mountains, waterfalls, beaches, oceans, forests
- Getting driver’s license despite extreme anxiety
- Going for a study trip to the USA (despite not wanting to go) and Thailand
- Graduating with a Bachelor with 2A honours (after fretting for 4 years)
- Helping her neighbour achieve A1 for Add. Maths (something which she didn’t get)
- Inspiring others (hopefully)
- Knowing herself better (hopefully)
- Learning salsa, albeit short-lived
- Learning to cook and bake (yummy!)
- Living overseas
- Maintaining friendships from the previous decade
- Maintaining The Slow Life
- Making and establishing strong friendships with several individuals, from different walks of life
- Obtaining a scuba-diving licence
- Overcoming the fear of driving alone
- Paying off her undergraduate loan in 4 years
- Rearing a new batch of turtles
- Reconnecting with God
- Relief teaching
- Seeing turtles in their natural habitats
- Surviving office politics
- Taking part and completing long distance runs
- Travelling solo (in USA)
- Travelling to various countries – Hongkong, China, Philippines, USA, Thailand, Australia, South Africa
- Working in a law enforcement agency and being exposed to experiences outside the range of normal human experiences
- Working with marginalised people
*list is not exhaustive; just what comes to mind at 4am
bimbo emo
I saw my female owner having an emo outburst today. It was so unexpected that we turtles were left wondering, “what was that for?”
It all started when her mother came home at 2235hr and started asking her innocently about the status of her offer. My female owner self-ignited. Must have been pent-up emotions. The more she spoke, the more agitated she became and the more the tears flowed. It got so bad that my female owner stopped chatting with people on MSN.
She wanted to talk physically to someone, but again, as she went down her mobile phone, she felt she couldn’t call anyone. Nothing wrong with any of her friends. It was more like she didn’t want to alarm anyone at such a late hour over what she deemed as a non-issue. In the sense that there are people struggling over bread and butter issues of life. Who is she to struggle over issues like should she stay in Australia or return to Singapore? So frivolous, she says.
And she finally couldn’t take the absurdness of crying unprovoked any more, she went on “invisible” on MSN. Only to receive a random message from Functional Fren about her travel plans (I guess he wasn’t really expecting an “invisible” reply). And as always, he manages to ask (or discern?) the right questions to ask – started with “why are you on stealth?”, and finally sussed out that my female owner was not too ok.
Being the kind-hearted, helping person he is, he offered to meet her to talk things through. Therapy lasted two hours and my female owner came home looking calmer but a little dazed. Apparently she was challenged, questioned, probed, laughed at and analysed. Certainly a very different and unorthodox manner of helping someone. She realised that she might have changed, and had unknowingly allowed pride to seep into her life. That pride is perhaps the root of her distress.
Usually tired and sleepy after crying, my female owner found herself strangely unable to sleep. Perhaps she is finally accepting the inevitable. And accepting it means grieving over it and not being able to get rest. While Brisbane changed her life for the better, having given her the breakthroughs that she needed to get away from her past experiences, my female owner reckons that she might reach a stalemate if she continues her happy-go-lucky life without any concrete goals.
I think my female owner is blessed to have such good friends. She used to struggle alone but over the past few years, has developed meaningful friendships with people who can connect intellectually and emotionally with her, hence helping to sort out the bimbo emo in her.
It all started when her mother came home at 2235hr and started asking her innocently about the status of her offer. My female owner self-ignited. Must have been pent-up emotions. The more she spoke, the more agitated she became and the more the tears flowed. It got so bad that my female owner stopped chatting with people on MSN.
She wanted to talk physically to someone, but again, as she went down her mobile phone, she felt she couldn’t call anyone. Nothing wrong with any of her friends. It was more like she didn’t want to alarm anyone at such a late hour over what she deemed as a non-issue. In the sense that there are people struggling over bread and butter issues of life. Who is she to struggle over issues like should she stay in Australia or return to Singapore? So frivolous, she says.
And she finally couldn’t take the absurdness of crying unprovoked any more, she went on “invisible” on MSN. Only to receive a random message from Functional Fren about her travel plans (I guess he wasn’t really expecting an “invisible” reply). And as always, he manages to ask (or discern?) the right questions to ask – started with “why are you on stealth?”, and finally sussed out that my female owner was not too ok.
Being the kind-hearted, helping person he is, he offered to meet her to talk things through. Therapy lasted two hours and my female owner came home looking calmer but a little dazed. Apparently she was challenged, questioned, probed, laughed at and analysed. Certainly a very different and unorthodox manner of helping someone. She realised that she might have changed, and had unknowingly allowed pride to seep into her life. That pride is perhaps the root of her distress.
Usually tired and sleepy after crying, my female owner found herself strangely unable to sleep. Perhaps she is finally accepting the inevitable. And accepting it means grieving over it and not being able to get rest. While Brisbane changed her life for the better, having given her the breakthroughs that she needed to get away from her past experiences, my female owner reckons that she might reach a stalemate if she continues her happy-go-lucky life without any concrete goals.
I think my female owner is blessed to have such good friends. She used to struggle alone but over the past few years, has developed meaningful friendships with people who can connect intellectually and emotionally with her, hence helping to sort out the bimbo emo in her.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
dim sum
My female owner thinks she will be ok by tomorrow… for her dim sum afternoon tea with Onli Fren. After last week’s “failed” attempt (from Onli Fren’s perspective), the two of them are going to try again to conquer the highly popular buffet. *drool*
Actually, come to think of it, my female owner has only two weeks left before she departs for Brisbane. She says that it has been a bittersweet holiday so far. In some ways, she can’t wait to go back to Brisbane (coz that is the “real world”?) to complete the final leg of her programme. In other ways, she knows that this season of her life, the biggest highlight of her 20s, is going to be over soon. She hasn't been able to make up her mind about the offer but reckons that whatever it is, it will be a new chapter in her life.
Like what Therapist Fren said, everything is transient. Just have to cherish the present. *teardrop*
Actually, come to think of it, my female owner has only two weeks left before she departs for Brisbane. She says that it has been a bittersweet holiday so far. In some ways, she can’t wait to go back to Brisbane (coz that is the “real world”?) to complete the final leg of her programme. In other ways, she knows that this season of her life, the biggest highlight of her 20s, is going to be over soon. She hasn't been able to make up her mind about the offer but reckons that whatever it is, it will be a new chapter in her life.
Like what Therapist Fren said, everything is transient. Just have to cherish the present. *teardrop*
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
3rd house
Long overdued photos of my female owner's current house in Brisbane. She lives in Sunnybank, which is 30mins away by train to the city and 30mins away by bus to her school. She is mins away from good (mostly authentic) Asian food.
Entrance to her house, pretty white gates
Her front porch, with some dying flowers...
Her messy but bare room...
Play shelf of her imaginary friends?
The huge living room, never fails to make her feel nua and lazy
The well-equipped kitchen
Kitchen, taken from the other perspective, with a dining area to host parties
And the backyard to hang her laundry
Backyard, taken from another perspective, where my female owner had plans to grow some fruits and vegetables..
The street she lives on... wide roads with lotsa greens
Entrance to her house, pretty white gates
Her front porch, with some dying flowers...
Her messy but bare room...
Play shelf of her imaginary friends?
The huge living room, never fails to make her feel nua and lazy
The well-equipped kitchen
Kitchen, taken from the other perspective, with a dining area to host parties
And the backyard to hang her laundry
Backyard, taken from another perspective, where my female owner had plans to grow some fruits and vegetables..
dogs
My female owner says you can tell a lot about a person from the questions he asks.
She was having a Bridge Night with some long-time friends (cannot use “old” here, coz age is sensitive). One of them was describing her neighbour who keeps two big (and smelly) dogs, and saying how the smell is distressing for her.
Hearing this, Onli Fren and my female owner asked a question at the same time.
“Are they cute?”
“Are they fierce?”
No prizes for guessing who asked what.
She was having a Bridge Night with some long-time friends (cannot use “old” here, coz age is sensitive). One of them was describing her neighbour who keeps two big (and smelly) dogs, and saying how the smell is distressing for her.
Hearing this, Onli Fren and my female owner asked a question at the same time.
“Are they cute?”
“Are they fierce?”
No prizes for guessing who asked what.
sick
My female owner is sick and she is definitely not happy about it, especially when her parents blame her for falling sick. It’s like blaming someone for being raped. As if she wanted to fall sick.
My female owner reckons that she became even more physically vulnerable because of the mental and emotional stress of dealing with her decision. Over the weekend, she has vacillated from yes to no, with loud voices filling her mind about the good of each side. Although she was previously at peace with taking up the offer, her decision swung the other way when she realised that she did make a big accounting error after all and she would still be 40k in debt. Hence, it would be a case of being in debt and bonded – a double whammy in her opinion.
My female owner reckons that she became even more physically vulnerable because of the mental and emotional stress of dealing with her decision. Over the weekend, she has vacillated from yes to no, with loud voices filling her mind about the good of each side. Although she was previously at peace with taking up the offer, her decision swung the other way when she realised that she did make a big accounting error after all and she would still be 40k in debt. Hence, it would be a case of being in debt and bonded – a double whammy in her opinion.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
allergic
My female owner remains allergic to Singapore air. Ever since she came back, she had been sneezing. Doesn't matter where or what time. Today must be the worst outburst ever. She sneezed until her throat felt sore, her eyes watered and her nose reddened. She even wondered if she was going to sneeze out blood. These outbursts take a toll on her energy level as her body tries to cope with her multiple incessant sneezes.
In addition, my female owner wonders if she is developing an aversion to some aspects of Singapore. Already, she has issues with the swelling population and crowded public places, even during off-peak hours. She can’t walk two steps before bumping into someone.
If she is going to spend her days sneezing and bumping into strangers, then she would rather forgo any sponsorship and live somewhere where she can breathe easily and have personal space walking on the streets.
In addition, my female owner wonders if she is developing an aversion to some aspects of Singapore. Already, she has issues with the swelling population and crowded public places, even during off-peak hours. She can’t walk two steps before bumping into someone.
If she is going to spend her days sneezing and bumping into strangers, then she would rather forgo any sponsorship and live somewhere where she can breathe easily and have personal space walking on the streets.
west
Recently, Functional Fren brought my female owner on a mini roadtrip to the far far (no kidding) west of Singapore. Functional Fren is one of the few Singaporeans friends she has who get energised by spending time with nature and can sprout plant facts spontaneously.
Within 4 hours, they visited a dragonfruit farm (which harvests other kinds of plants), a hill with a pseudo-lake, home to many turtles (which did not show up for some reasons) and a nature reserve. It was almost like a science excursion for my female owner as she gleaned random plants facts from green fingers Functional Fren. My female owner had heaps of impromptu fun, exploring these otherwise unknown gems of Singapore. She started to embrace the charms of far far west and took delight in knowing that there are still some parts of Singapore untarnished by urbanisation.
Within 4 hours, they visited a dragonfruit farm (which harvests other kinds of plants), a hill with a pseudo-lake, home to many turtles (which did not show up for some reasons) and a nature reserve. It was almost like a science excursion for my female owner as she gleaned random plants facts from green fingers Functional Fren. My female owner had heaps of impromptu fun, exploring these otherwise unknown gems of Singapore. She started to embrace the charms of far far west and took delight in knowing that there are still some parts of Singapore untarnished by urbanisation.
At the Dragon Fruit Farm...
My female owner learnt that pineapples are actually a form of cacti. Did you know that?
And there are long beans which are red...
That this is not grass, but chives.
Peppers are really small.. and something about the process to get white peppers instead of black involves "polishing" them early (something like that)..
Besides the fact that dragonfruits don't grow in January, she also found out that they are the fruits of a cactus.
and these round balls are not vegetables or some gourd-like edibles but..
... passion fruits in the process of ripening! (also her first time trying real passionfruit!)
She also figured that some lady fingers are really too huge to be called as such.. 
Little Guilin at Bukit Batok
Where they came to look for turtles, but for some strange reasons, they could only spot two. My female owner learnt the this area was previously a granite quarry.
The setting makes it suitable to film period dramas..
Looks like quite a nice place to chill eh... except that it is sooo far from my female owner's house.
Finally, Bukit Batok Nature Reserve
My female owner says that some parts bore resemblance to parks in Brisbane.
My female owner wondered if this is Singapore's version of strangler figs.
The leaves that Functional Fren said are used to wrap bak changs. Hmmm...my female owner apparently gave him a doubtful look
Sunday, January 03, 2010
debt-free?
My female owner once took further maths at junior college and mathematics at undergraduate level. And also considered taking up accountancy. Once. Now, her maths is really bad and her accounting/ budgeting skills leaves one to wonder if she was really once a maths guru.
Anyway, no thanks to a super “gao” coffee she had at 2300 (my female owner says it is the equivalent of drinking 70% cocoa dark chocolate), my female owner is still up at such an unearthly hour. This also means that most of us turtles would be threading the boundary between slumber and wakefulness since the Balcony will be blasted with light from the living room.
My female owner decided to do some accounting of the expenses incurred for her postgrad studies. She did a very rough calculation based on her mother’s declaration that she had spent S$113k so far. Subtracting the amount my female owner currently has in her Aussie bank (converted back to Sing dollars at a much more favourable rate – my female owner assumed that she won’t need this money if she takes up the offer) and the sponsorship amount offered, my female owner realised that actually, she probably spent about S$15k of her mother’s money after all.
And she started calculating how long she might need to repay S$15k… (with a sinking feeling, she worked it out to be 6 years) and suddenly remembered that she actually did pump in more than S$20k of her own savings for her postgrad studies. Which means… tada! She doesn’t owe her mother anything if she takes up the offer!
But then, some things just didn’t seem to add up, no thanks to her non-existent book-keeping efforts. For one, after taking away course fees, she ended off 2009 with more money than she started. Even though she supported herself with part-time jobs, my female owner thought that correspondingly, she spent a lot more, especially for the short trips she made around Australia. Perplexing.
My female owner reckons she needs to do more detailed calculations to ascertain how much of her mother’s money she actually used. How cool would it be, to end off her postgrad studies debt-free. Such a different scenario from when she first started out in Brisbane, thinking that she would need S$150k from her mother to cover expenses.
Anyway, no thanks to a super “gao” coffee she had at 2300 (my female owner says it is the equivalent of drinking 70% cocoa dark chocolate), my female owner is still up at such an unearthly hour. This also means that most of us turtles would be threading the boundary between slumber and wakefulness since the Balcony will be blasted with light from the living room.
My female owner decided to do some accounting of the expenses incurred for her postgrad studies. She did a very rough calculation based on her mother’s declaration that she had spent S$113k so far. Subtracting the amount my female owner currently has in her Aussie bank (converted back to Sing dollars at a much more favourable rate – my female owner assumed that she won’t need this money if she takes up the offer) and the sponsorship amount offered, my female owner realised that actually, she probably spent about S$15k of her mother’s money after all.
And she started calculating how long she might need to repay S$15k… (with a sinking feeling, she worked it out to be 6 years) and suddenly remembered that she actually did pump in more than S$20k of her own savings for her postgrad studies. Which means… tada! She doesn’t owe her mother anything if she takes up the offer!
But then, some things just didn’t seem to add up, no thanks to her non-existent book-keeping efforts. For one, after taking away course fees, she ended off 2009 with more money than she started. Even though she supported herself with part-time jobs, my female owner thought that correspondingly, she spent a lot more, especially for the short trips she made around Australia. Perplexing.
My female owner reckons she needs to do more detailed calculations to ascertain how much of her mother’s money she actually used. How cool would it be, to end off her postgrad studies debt-free. Such a different scenario from when she first started out in Brisbane, thinking that she would need S$150k from her mother to cover expenses.
backwards
Against her natural interest, my female owner went with Couple Frens to watch Avatar in 3D. Not a fan of science fiction or fantasy or whatever genre that movie is supposed to be, my female owner wondered if she could follow the storyline, appreciate the special effects or at the very basic level, keep awake for 3 hours. The conclusion? She can see why people would go gaga over the movie.
One line in the movie struck a chord in her: “everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream”. As the movie progressed, Jake Scully found his avatar more real than his human self.
2008: She was blessed with the chance of pursuing overseas postgrad studies. Even though this was something she wanted to do all along, she struggled with overseas living, felt as if she was living in an unreal, temporary world and pinned deeply for Singapore, her true world, the world she left behind (according to her).
2009: Australia grew on her and she became attracted to the lifestyle, people and opportunities. “Everything is backwards now”. Australia becomes her true world, a place where she has hopes of exploring and living in, and Singapore, a distant dream.
Now, she is wondering, come post 2010, what will be the dream and what will be the true world?
One line in the movie struck a chord in her: “everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream”. As the movie progressed, Jake Scully found his avatar more real than his human self.
2008: She was blessed with the chance of pursuing overseas postgrad studies. Even though this was something she wanted to do all along, she struggled with overseas living, felt as if she was living in an unreal, temporary world and pinned deeply for Singapore, her true world, the world she left behind (according to her).
2009: Australia grew on her and she became attracted to the lifestyle, people and opportunities. “Everything is backwards now”. Australia becomes her true world, a place where she has hopes of exploring and living in, and Singapore, a distant dream.
Now, she is wondering, come post 2010, what will be the dream and what will be the true world?
Saturday, January 02, 2010
fence
My female owner, while optimistic about the new year, has been moody because of the need to decide on her latest issue. Already, you know that she is bad at making small decisions. Needless to say, “crossroads decisions” are the hardest for her to handle effectively.
My female owner honestly does not know what to make of her situation.
Her parents saw it as an answered prayer (i.e. take it up!) and mum even said something like my female owner can renovate her room when she returns. My female owner couldn’t see the relevance or how that was supposed to be enticing for her.
Her supervisor said “congratulations!” Three years bond is reasonable for the terms being offered.
Impromptu frens said her market value is higher than what is being offered. So no go.
Therapist Fren asked her to figure out what her goals in life are. Her views were echoed by Onli Fren. Therapist style, neutral stance.
I-Fren argued that it didn’t make sense financially to give it up. And questioned if my female owner had alternative ideas/ offers that would offset the humongous expenditure.
Potahto pointed out that it would be easier to get an overseas job immediately after graduation whereas the local hospital will always be around. And of course, prospects of working overseas is more appealing.
What is clear is that there are two very distinct camps offering divergent views and my female owner is still sitting precariously on the fence. Everything either makes sense or there are counter-arguments to the point.
My female owner honestly does not know what to make of her situation.
Her parents saw it as an answered prayer (i.e. take it up!) and mum even said something like my female owner can renovate her room when she returns. My female owner couldn’t see the relevance or how that was supposed to be enticing for her.
Her supervisor said “congratulations!” Three years bond is reasonable for the terms being offered.
Impromptu frens said her market value is higher than what is being offered. So no go.
Therapist Fren asked her to figure out what her goals in life are. Her views were echoed by Onli Fren. Therapist style, neutral stance.
I-Fren argued that it didn’t make sense financially to give it up. And questioned if my female owner had alternative ideas/ offers that would offset the humongous expenditure.
Potahto pointed out that it would be easier to get an overseas job immediately after graduation whereas the local hospital will always be around. And of course, prospects of working overseas is more appealing.
What is clear is that there are two very distinct camps offering divergent views and my female owner is still sitting precariously on the fence. Everything either makes sense or there are counter-arguments to the point.
transit
My female owner decided that she wanted to have a quiet transit from 2009-10. She knew that she probably end up sleeping in front of the television if she stayed home. Hence, she chose to attend a Watch Night Service by herself (since most of her friends are non-Christians and she did not want to attend her previous church’s service).
This must be the first time in many years where she transit into a new year by herself (well, almost, coz her friend managed to make it to church 10mins before 2010 arrived). Previous years were spent with her friends, partying somewhere, watching fireworks or erm… in church with her ex-boyfriend?
Anyway, my female owner said that she was refreshed by the church service. In fact, she didn’t feel as if she was alone even though she was physically by herself. She felt as if she was back with her first love. With her heart and mind focused on God, my female owner felt a sense of jubilation and comfort. My female owner doesn’t really know what 2010 would bring and while she feels a little lost and uncertain, she knows that despite all her anxious (and unreliable) feelings, God is good and has worked things out for her.
This must be the first time in many years where she transit into a new year by herself (well, almost, coz her friend managed to make it to church 10mins before 2010 arrived). Previous years were spent with her friends, partying somewhere, watching fireworks or erm… in church with her ex-boyfriend?
Anyway, my female owner said that she was refreshed by the church service. In fact, she didn’t feel as if she was alone even though she was physically by herself. She felt as if she was back with her first love. With her heart and mind focused on God, my female owner felt a sense of jubilation and comfort. My female owner doesn’t really know what 2010 would bring and while she feels a little lost and uncertain, she knows that despite all her anxious (and unreliable) feelings, God is good and has worked things out for her.
Friday, January 01, 2010
blue moon
My female owner finally did not have any social appointments today and purposefully stayed home to be with her parents (and us turtles). Her dad came home during lunch time and saw a subdued daughter in the living room. He couldn’t help but laughed aloud if my female owner had reached the “z” of her friends.
He left for work and came back at dinner time and saw the same subdued daughter in the living room and commented gleefully that tonight, there is a blue moon, how come so δΉ–, never go out?
Ah, so I decided to look up the meaning of a blue moon and got the following results.
blue moon n.
- The third full moon in a three-month calendrical season that has four full moons.
- The second of two full moons occurring in the same month.
- Informal A relatively long period of time: I haven't seen you in a blue moon.
[Sense 2, probably from the rare occurrence whereby the moon appears blue from high amounts of dust in the atmosphere, as from a volcanic eruption.]
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My siblings and I
From top left: Dodo, Dona, me (Nooki) and Nanook