past

My female owner has been living dreamily for one week. It was her second week of school and as usual, she only had lessons on Tuesday. She was largely left to her own devices for the rest of the week. And in true slacker style, she hardly did any work. She couldn’t believe that postgrad could be so relaxing and she wanted to relish in the ENGness before she starts on her externship (still a question mark, unfortunately).

Realising that she needs to remain accountable for her days in Brisbane, her prayer request during bible study was that she would be able to make full use of her time in 2009 to i) grow stronger in her faith and walk with God, ii) complete her programme successfully, iii) experience Brisbane/ Australia for its beauty. My female owner is convinced that God pulled her out of Singapore so that she would be able to regain her focus in her life and start to live life purposefully and meaningfully according to the plans He has set out for her. At this point in time, my female owner is wiling to stay in Brisbane after graduation (without sulking and drowning her reluctance in wine, beer and margaritas).

Over the week, she spent time reading the bible, meditating on verses, praying and personal reflection. Certain things happened over the week, some positive, others negative, tossing her emotions all over. Her strength came from reflecting on God’s promises and understanding His nature. Some incidents made her question the meaning of life/ living while others allowed her to see God’s hand moving and most assuredly, when God moves, no one can stop Him. An impromptu trip to Mt Cootha (think Victoria Peak in Hongkong) after bible study with a few of her Christian friends, resulted in her picking up even more biblical truths.

A late-night youtube movie (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai – highly recommended, although my female owner has not completed the movie… she has little staying power, even for entertainment) was hijacked by a MSN chat with her I-Fren. She saw how quickly God responded to her prayer point i) when he aptly pointed out that she needs to stop living in the past. This has been an issue which my female owner is aware of, but in a fleeting sense, like “oh, maybe I should stop living in the past” kind of thought. But my female owner realised that she spent half her life living in a lie (AGAB) which she concocted innocently with her Onli Fren as a teenager. My female owner thought that her AGAB vibes had been extinguished through some of the positive experiences she had last year but like a deep-seated tattoo, she probably just patched up the mental imprint with some thick foundation which cracks under pressure.

There are also other areas in her life where my female owner is currently “living in the past”. The ghost of past failures, past disappointments, past experiences, former glory, lost youth, wasted times, the should-haves, could-haves, would-haves and if-onlys. Being sucked into the quick sand of her SELECTIVE memory. My female owner hopes to work through some of the main issues over the course of this year, coz this year is her year of renewal. It’s now or never for her. No more spiritual procrastination!