growing pains

My female owner is in a state of disbelief. Something dreadful happened to one of her closer friends recently and my female owner is at a loss of what to do or what to say to alleviate the distress. All of a sudden, her childish whinges about lack of internet access and externship problems pale in comparison to the gravity of her friend’s situation. Even being apart from her family and established social networks in Singapore seems non-consequential.

The counsellor in her wishes she knows the right words to say and the right actions to take. But alas, my female owner is inexperienced and lacks discernment. The friend side of her does not wish to take up a counselling persona. Already, her friends had chided her for using “psych-speak” while talking to them. So you know, the counsellor side says she should ask open-ended questions but the friend side says to ask close-ended questions that will quickly narrow down the scope of the issue.

At the same time, other friends are grappling with family, existential and bread-and-butter issues. Growing pains, my female owner calls it.

Growth does not stop when you turn 21 and reach adulthood. Almost tipping over the 30-year-old mark, my female owner realises that each decade of your life demands different things from you. Responsibilities change, roles increase, resources get tighter, friends lessen, burdens get heavier, health suffers, experiences of failure and hurts accumulate, often haunting you and time becomes scarce. Even though you are already an adult and supposedly more matured, my female owner concludes that at the end of the day, you are still you, an amateur in life and a child at best.

That’s why my female owner humbly realises that she cannot make it through life based on her own wisdom and hard work. She will probably lose her way navigating through life's journey. Much as she claims to be independence, she rather work in partnership with God. My female owner already wasted a good part of her life on worldly pursuits and erroneous thinking. During today’s sermon, the preacher was asking the congregation “what is your past that holds you back?” The point being made was that God’s abundant grace can look beyond our past and transform us into who He wants us to be.

Ah, what an apt continuation of the food-for-thought conversation she had last night. The past has no hold over her, except for the hold she has allowed it to have over her. As for living in the present and working out plans for the future, the recent events have shown her that life is uncertain, things are unpredictable and evil lurks in unexpected places. Her best guide for life is Jesus, her Shepherd and the best manual for life, the Bible.