My female owner rejected two lunch appointments today to stay home to do some statistics for her research work/ thesis (the boundaries are blurring, she doesn’t quite know what goes towards what). She also wanted to have some time to herself, after so many days of socialising.
8 hours after she started work, she is still struggling through basic statistical concepts.
What’s the difference between standard error of mean and standard error of measurement? Are they interchangeable?
How do you calculate test-retest reliability using SPSS?
Most importantly, how do you calculate reliability change index?
Hour by hour, she feels herself sinking deeper and couldn’t help but mentally sprouting vulgarities at herself (you know, at her stupidity, lack of understanding etc etc). Her anxiety and neuroticism are in full gear today. In desperation, she actually turned to Wikipedia and random websites for some ideas. By now, she is feeling mentally spent and physically stoned. Her room is in a big mess, with things lying around, surely an outward manifestation of the clutter in her mind. Her mood low and her sense of hope, microscopic. She started hallucinating about chocolate chip cookies. Okay, I’m kidding. She just wished she had some to munch on. Even the thought of celebrating Mooncake Festival tomorrow with some friends failed to excite her. Feeling lousy and highly anti-social, my female owner reckons that she will hibernate at home till the end of the week (and hope that no one notices her absence so that she doesn’t have to answer questions).
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
sense
My female owner can’t believe how quickly two weeks flew by. It seemed like just yesterday when she was eagerly counting the days/ hours to seeing Second Onli Fren again. A couple of hours ago, she hugged SOF goodbye. It was the end of her two-week holiday in Brisbane.
My female owner was left with a sense of “unfinished business”. She felt as if she did not spend enough time with SOF. No doubt, the amount of time they spent together was probably more than the total amount of time they spent together in 2008, but somehow, my female owner felt that the interaction was not deep enough. Not as intimate and heart-to-heart as she would like it to be. Sure thing. They spent time doing different things together but most of the time, there were other people around as well. She probably had about 6 hours of alone time with SOF.
And now that SOF is gone, my female owner is grappling with a sense of loss and void. She says it is like you have gotten used to life without something but when that something (or someone) comes back, you start to adapt yourself to that addition as previously before it left, but when that addition is once again taken away from you, you are left stranded, with a greater sense of helplessness as compared to previously when you had gotten used to life without it.
Hmm… if that makes sense. It was the same kind of feeling she had when she went for her Gold Coast escapade with Potahto in Mar 2008 and when they parted, it was painful for my female owner. She was almost in tears as she turned away from the train station after saying goodbye to Potahto.
Oh well, it’s never really goodbye but “till we meet again”, isn’t it? After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder..
My female owner was left with a sense of “unfinished business”. She felt as if she did not spend enough time with SOF. No doubt, the amount of time they spent together was probably more than the total amount of time they spent together in 2008, but somehow, my female owner felt that the interaction was not deep enough. Not as intimate and heart-to-heart as she would like it to be. Sure thing. They spent time doing different things together but most of the time, there were other people around as well. She probably had about 6 hours of alone time with SOF.
And now that SOF is gone, my female owner is grappling with a sense of loss and void. She says it is like you have gotten used to life without something but when that something (or someone) comes back, you start to adapt yourself to that addition as previously before it left, but when that addition is once again taken away from you, you are left stranded, with a greater sense of helplessness as compared to previously when you had gotten used to life without it.
Hmm… if that makes sense. It was the same kind of feeling she had when she went for her Gold Coast escapade with Potahto in Mar 2008 and when they parted, it was painful for my female owner. She was almost in tears as she turned away from the train station after saying goodbye to Potahto.
Oh well, it’s never really goodbye but “till we meet again”, isn’t it? After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder..
what if
My female owner says that she will be back in Singapore in 69 days. And it is with fear and trepidation that she awaits the final day. Such an irony isn’t it? For someone who claims that she can’t wait to be home again.
Home is where the heart is. My female owner still regards Singapore as her home. She holds her beloved family and friends close to her heart.
At the same time, her affection for Brisbane (and the lifestyle) is increasing. She knows that she is going to miss her Brisbane friends when she returns to Singapore. They were just talking about having a birthday party for Dec babies and well, my female owner won’t be around for that. For the first time, her MSN contacts for “Brisbane” are more active than the other categories of her life (e.g. “Aikido”, “Colleagues”, “Church”). Just two days ago, someone found out that she would be returning to Singapore in December and later on, asked her privately “how long will you be gone?”
My female owner felt a wave of familiarity as she heard those words, spoken in a well-meaning tone. It was exactly how her friends had asked (“how long will you be gone?”) when she told them that she would be leaving Singapore to further her studies. For the first time, she felt that maybe, home is now Brisbane and she is leaving Brisbane for a foreign country. For how long? She hasn’t decided. 6 weeks? 8 weeks? Depends.
I guess that’s why my female owner is apprehensive about returning home. What if she went home and found out that she can’t fit in anymore? That her friends have moved on with their respective lives and there is a widening gap that can no longer be bridged? That would be heart-wrenching for my female owner.
On the flip side, what if she went home and found that she really loved Singapore and Brisbane, at the end of the day, is just a passing season in her life, an illusion she created (at the cost of more than 100k) just so that she could escape a bad job and a failed relationship? Won’t that make leaving Singapore another painful experience?
You know what, I think my female owner thinks too much for her own good. “Live in the present!” as what one of her friends told her. “Let go of the past!” as many had admonished her. Like it or not, 69 days is going to pass quickly and before you know it, she will be back! Let The Balcony party!!!
Home is where the heart is. My female owner still regards Singapore as her home. She holds her beloved family and friends close to her heart.
At the same time, her affection for Brisbane (and the lifestyle) is increasing. She knows that she is going to miss her Brisbane friends when she returns to Singapore. They were just talking about having a birthday party for Dec babies and well, my female owner won’t be around for that. For the first time, her MSN contacts for “Brisbane” are more active than the other categories of her life (e.g. “Aikido”, “Colleagues”, “Church”). Just two days ago, someone found out that she would be returning to Singapore in December and later on, asked her privately “how long will you be gone?”
My female owner felt a wave of familiarity as she heard those words, spoken in a well-meaning tone. It was exactly how her friends had asked (“how long will you be gone?”) when she told them that she would be leaving Singapore to further her studies. For the first time, she felt that maybe, home is now Brisbane and she is leaving Brisbane for a foreign country. For how long? She hasn’t decided. 6 weeks? 8 weeks? Depends.
I guess that’s why my female owner is apprehensive about returning home. What if she went home and found out that she can’t fit in anymore? That her friends have moved on with their respective lives and there is a widening gap that can no longer be bridged? That would be heart-wrenching for my female owner.
On the flip side, what if she went home and found that she really loved Singapore and Brisbane, at the end of the day, is just a passing season in her life, an illusion she created (at the cost of more than 100k) just so that she could escape a bad job and a failed relationship? Won’t that make leaving Singapore another painful experience?
You know what, I think my female owner thinks too much for her own good. “Live in the present!” as what one of her friends told her. “Let go of the past!” as many had admonished her. Like it or not, 69 days is going to pass quickly and before you know it, she will be back! Let The Balcony party!!!
Monday, September 28, 2009
prickly
My female owner is edgy today. I think it is a sure sign of stress. She caught up with Onli Fren on MSN and one of the first things Onli Fren said was “why are u anti-men today?”
Hmm. That made my female owner do a double-take. Over the weekend, she was exposed to “good men”.
For example, Mr Nice Guy who drove them all the way from St Lucia to Noosa Heads (about 3 hours) and back, without complaining. He even washed and cleaned the car (which belonged to another person) by himself and without being asked.
Two guys (including Mr Nice Guy) who woke up early on Saturday to prepare breakfast (think McMuffins and Hotcakes).
Guys who volunteered to carry a heavy backpack for a female friend during the Coastal Trail.
Yet, she is still prickly about guys. Particularly because over a few days, she saw how SOF was “hen-packed” in the presence of SOF’B. Despite her wilful inclinations, my female owner is submissive at heart and I know she would want her guy to lead in the relationship. In fact, she finds guys who lead and are decisive attractive. But she cannot tolerate guys who make decisions without considering what the gal wants or guys who override their partners’ decisions for no good reason (e.g. just a matter of preference).
But well… not all guys are bad. So hopefully, she will stop being so edgy.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
crash
Now that her holiday is over, my female owner is hit with the dire state of her school and work commitments. By the end of the coming week (which is the semester break), she needs to complete the following:
- One group assignment on geriatric depression
- One written assignment on child sexual abuse
- At least half an assignment (i.e. 2500words) on interventions for caregivers of people with dementia
- Statistical analyses for one chapter of her thesis (that means having to figure out how to do things like reliability change index and ANOVA/ MANOVA…. And she is clueless)
- Organise her thoughts for the sex and couple therapy assignment (which she knows she won’t have time to start)
In addition, SOF is still around so my female owner foresees herself spending 1-2 days with her.
October looks nasty for my female owner actually. Oh no. Will she crash again?
ecstatic
Been such a long while since I heard from my female owner. For a couple of days, I thought she disappeared from the surface of the earth and wondered seriously, if I (and the rest of us turtles) would ever see her again.
It turns out that she had been busy playing host to Second Onli Fren (or baby-sitting as she puts it). Things they did included eating at Nando’s (Potahto would be familiar with this), citycating along Brisbane River, photo-taking at Southbank, having ice-cream (growing fatter actually) there, baking muffins, making mango pudding, and nuaing at one of my female owner’s friends house, staying over and shopping (again!).
And she fitted all these into her regular schedule of school and work. No wonder she vanished into thin air!
To add to that, my female owner escaped Brisbane to Noosa Heads (north of Brisbane) for a getaway with her church friends over the weekend. 9 of them stayed over in a gorgeous villa on Friday night, each paying only $40 for that million dollar experience (comes with a heated pool cum jacuzzi) and awesome fellowship.
They were joined by 9 others on Saturday (the non-stayers) for a day at the beach. While waiting for the non-stayers to come, the first group went for a short bushwalk along the Coastal Trail where they were treated to scenic views of the beach and ocean. Unexpectedly, they even spotted a mother whale and her baby swimming by… and a koala high up in the eucalyptus tree. All these sightings for free! My female owner did not take any photos coz her friends had cameras and so, she said to check her FB for photos.
And, with that ecstatic high she experienced since Thursday morning, no wonder my female owner suffered an emotional crash on Saturday. She started to talk less and became quiet. It was so visible that her church friends wondered if she was ok. I think my female owner was socially over stimulated, if there’s such a condition.
Ah, fun times indeed. Now to settle the financial, emotional and time debts..
It turns out that she had been busy playing host to Second Onli Fren (or baby-sitting as she puts it). Things they did included eating at Nando’s (Potahto would be familiar with this), citycating along Brisbane River, photo-taking at Southbank, having ice-cream (growing fatter actually) there, baking muffins, making mango pudding, and nuaing at one of my female owner’s friends house, staying over and shopping (again!).
And she fitted all these into her regular schedule of school and work. No wonder she vanished into thin air!
To add to that, my female owner escaped Brisbane to Noosa Heads (north of Brisbane) for a getaway with her church friends over the weekend. 9 of them stayed over in a gorgeous villa on Friday night, each paying only $40 for that million dollar experience (comes with a heated pool cum jacuzzi) and awesome fellowship.
They were joined by 9 others on Saturday (the non-stayers) for a day at the beach. While waiting for the non-stayers to come, the first group went for a short bushwalk along the Coastal Trail where they were treated to scenic views of the beach and ocean. Unexpectedly, they even spotted a mother whale and her baby swimming by… and a koala high up in the eucalyptus tree. All these sightings for free! My female owner did not take any photos coz her friends had cameras and so, she said to check her FB for photos.
And, with that ecstatic high she experienced since Thursday morning, no wonder my female owner suffered an emotional crash on Saturday. She started to talk less and became quiet. It was so visible that her church friends wondered if she was ok. I think my female owner was socially over stimulated, if there’s such a condition.
Ah, fun times indeed. Now to settle the financial, emotional and time debts..
Sunday, September 20, 2009
hypothetical
It’s quite an obvious thing to say at most cross-roads of your life, you have to make a decision among the different choices that you have. And the decision you make affects the trajectory of your life thereafter. So for example, your choice of junior college. My female owner chose to attend a neighbourhood school even though she could get into some of the top colleges. In doing so, she made some really good friends (e.g. Couple Fren). Sometimes, when she is with them, she would wonder, “what happens if I did not attend this school? Where would I be now, since I wouldn’t have known them? Who would have been my friends instead?” Questions which she can never answer of course.
The same goes for many of her social events. Say, last night, when she was with SOF and her boyfriend. My female owner started to wonder, “what happens if I never knew SOF? Would this event (referring to the dinner they cooked) still happen?” SOF and boyfriend would probably be together, but the dinner might not have happened, coz it was sparked by a random suggestion by my female owner to cook pig’s trotters.
Say tonight for example. After having dinner with her church friends, she went to Mr Nice Guy’s house to learn how to change guitar strings. Watching Mr Nice Guy and her guitar teacher at work, my female owner started to wonder, “if I had never come to Brisbane, I won’t be here. Where would I be now?”
The thought of parallel worlds. At some random moments, my female owner would dissociate from her surroundings and start to look at things as if she was not part of the situation. Just an observer. Wondering how life might be different, if she had chosen a different path from the one she is currently taking. Even something as hypothetical as how would life have turned out, if she had come to Brisbane in 2007 instead of 2008.
The same goes for many of her social events. Say, last night, when she was with SOF and her boyfriend. My female owner started to wonder, “what happens if I never knew SOF? Would this event (referring to the dinner they cooked) still happen?” SOF and boyfriend would probably be together, but the dinner might not have happened, coz it was sparked by a random suggestion by my female owner to cook pig’s trotters.
Say tonight for example. After having dinner with her church friends, she went to Mr Nice Guy’s house to learn how to change guitar strings. Watching Mr Nice Guy and her guitar teacher at work, my female owner started to wonder, “if I had never come to Brisbane, I won’t be here. Where would I be now?”
The thought of parallel worlds. At some random moments, my female owner would dissociate from her surroundings and start to look at things as if she was not part of the situation. Just an observer. Wondering how life might be different, if she had chosen a different path from the one she is currently taking. Even something as hypothetical as how would life have turned out, if she had come to Brisbane in 2007 instead of 2008.
surprise
My female owner finally came back from a two-day pseudo getaway with Second Onli Fren (SOF) and her boyfriend (SOF’B). She says it is pseudo because really, all they did was to go to Chinatown for lunch, Jindalee for cheap shopping, some girl-time at her house (without SOF’B of course), bible study in St Lucia (like ten mins from where my female owner lives), bubble tea at Sunnybank, weekend marketing at Rocklea, Aldi’s and Sunnybank (again), home-cooking at his house in Cooper Plains (once again, it’s the guy who did the yummy cooking. Shame on the gals!) and finally, back to her house for some chit-chat. So really, they did things that they might have normally done in Brisbane, just that now, SOF is around to experience their way of life firsthand.
Sometimes, looking at SOF, my female owner can’t believe that she is really next to her in flesh and blood. It’s such a surreal feeling for my female owner, to have her good friend sitting next to her, talking about random stuff. Just like the good old days…
Despite the years of friendship, there will always be things that would surprise you. My female owner learnt that SOF once didn’t really like her at first coz she felt that my female owner was aloof. This was exactly what Onli Fren felt about my female owner, before they became great friends. My female owner never knew that SOF felt that way too; she only found out because SOF was telling one of my female owner’s bible study friends how their friendship started.
Hmm… My female owner really puts in great efforts to make enemies eh.
Sometimes, looking at SOF, my female owner can’t believe that she is really next to her in flesh and blood. It’s such a surreal feeling for my female owner, to have her good friend sitting next to her, talking about random stuff. Just like the good old days…
Despite the years of friendship, there will always be things that would surprise you. My female owner learnt that SOF once didn’t really like her at first coz she felt that my female owner was aloof. This was exactly what Onli Fren felt about my female owner, before they became great friends. My female owner never knew that SOF felt that way too; she only found out because SOF was telling one of my female owner’s bible study friends how their friendship started.
Hmm… My female owner really puts in great efforts to make enemies eh.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
read
My female owner has been grouchy over the past few days. She didn’t really think so, but Therapist Fren pointed out to her that although she said that she was ok, her tone over the phone (they spoke for more than an hour) was down and edgy. My female owner didn’t really think it was PMS… until Therapist Fren reminded her that PMS really stood for pre-present-post menstrual syndrome.
Reflecting back, my female owner had to admit that she had been more complaining than usual this week. Hmmm… Small things annoyed her. Past issues irritated her. Innocuous social contact made her withdraw even more into her shell (she’s really the mother of all turtles). Only interactions with familiar and trusted few soothed her nerves.
Ever since my female owner started on her second externship, her self-confidence grew. This was largely due to her supervisor who explicitly expressed her confidence in my female owner and tirelessly drew out examples of things she did well in. One thing she told my female owner to do was to “trust your instincts” because she had seen how my female owner’s instincts had helped direct her therapeutic decisions which then translated into “light bulb” moments for her clients.
My female owner had always given people the benefit of the doubt (sometimes unwisely) and she hardly trusted her instincts because she felt that she could be wrong. This explains why she has always been naïve and gullible. (Even Functional Fren, a trusted ally, plays tricks on her and my female owner is none the wiser… until he confesses. Because my female owner knows he means no harm, she doesn’t take his pranks to heart). But since that talk, my female owner made more effort to observe and read people and sometimes, she doesn’t like what she reads. And she ends up feeling bad for reading negative things in people. You know, it’s like passing judgements on people. “This person cannot be trusted”. “What’s wrong with him?? So old already still like that”. You get the drift.
Maybe that’s why she has been feeling grouchy.
Reflecting back, my female owner had to admit that she had been more complaining than usual this week. Hmmm… Small things annoyed her. Past issues irritated her. Innocuous social contact made her withdraw even more into her shell (she’s really the mother of all turtles). Only interactions with familiar and trusted few soothed her nerves.
Ever since my female owner started on her second externship, her self-confidence grew. This was largely due to her supervisor who explicitly expressed her confidence in my female owner and tirelessly drew out examples of things she did well in. One thing she told my female owner to do was to “trust your instincts” because she had seen how my female owner’s instincts had helped direct her therapeutic decisions which then translated into “light bulb” moments for her clients.
My female owner had always given people the benefit of the doubt (sometimes unwisely) and she hardly trusted her instincts because she felt that she could be wrong. This explains why she has always been naïve and gullible. (Even Functional Fren, a trusted ally, plays tricks on her and my female owner is none the wiser… until he confesses. Because my female owner knows he means no harm, she doesn’t take his pranks to heart). But since that talk, my female owner made more effort to observe and read people and sometimes, she doesn’t like what she reads. And she ends up feeling bad for reading negative things in people. You know, it’s like passing judgements on people. “This person cannot be trusted”. “What’s wrong with him?? So old already still like that”. You get the drift.
Maybe that’s why she has been feeling grouchy.
10%
My female owner did her culling of FB friends and she removed 27 people on her list. That's exactly 10% from her original of 271. How coincidental! So she has 244 friends now.
And there was a time when she wondered if she would even hit 100 friends. How short-sighted she was!
And there was a time when she wondered if she would even hit 100 friends. How short-sighted she was!
when God made you
Apparently in a romantic mood, my female owner thought how nice it would be to dedicate this song to someone.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
cull
My female owner culled some handphone contacts recently.... and some MSN contacts. She says that she will cull some FB friends next.. Right now, she has 271 friends. Let's see how many she will get rid off...
This is the Introvert speaking. She doesn't need many friends. She is more interested in deep, intimate friendships.
This is the Introvert speaking. She doesn't need many friends. She is more interested in deep, intimate friendships.
again
My female owner had a conversation with her Functional Fren today, after a long while. She always appreciates friends updating her about their lives coz it helps her to feel connected to her friends and also valued (like, they bothered to keep her in the loop about their lives).
So anyway, FF started of the MSN exchange by alerting her to his latest FB update, which, unsurprisingly, is a MBTI analysis of his career choice. Now, FF and her had countless conversations about MBTI. He even did an analysis of her, before knowing her profile, and got it right.
Curious, my female owner attempted the same FB quiz... and going through the questions, she started to wonder what might happen if she didnt get the same result as always. Her profile had always been consistently INFP. And surprise surprise, her result was as per usual, INFP! For some reason, my female owner expected something else to appear. Anyway, my female owner can imagine herself in any of the careers suggested. Hmmm..
__________________________________________
INFP - The Idealist
You are a special and sensitive individual that needs a career which is more than just a job. You need to feel that what you do everyday has special meaning and can live your life in accordance to your strong value system. You are focused on constant growth and have a positive outlook on life. Because you are driven to do find meaning and purpose in your work, you will be happiest in careers where you are allowed to work towards those values you hold and towards the greater good of humanity as a whole. Many of the great writers of the world have been INFPs.
Some of your personality traits include:
* Strong value systems
* Warmly interested in people
* Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above your own
* Loyal and devoted to people and causes
* Future-oriented
* Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
* Creative and inspirational
* Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
* Sensitive and complex
* Dislike dealing with details and routine work
* Original and individualistic - "out of the mainstream"
* Excellent written communication skills
* Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
* Value deep and authentic relationships
* Want to be seen and appreciated for who you are
Some of your suggested careers are:
* Writer
* Counselor / Social Worker
* Teacher / Professor
* Psychologist
* Psychiatrist
* Musician
* Clergy / Religious Workers
So anyway, FF started of the MSN exchange by alerting her to his latest FB update, which, unsurprisingly, is a MBTI analysis of his career choice. Now, FF and her had countless conversations about MBTI. He even did an analysis of her, before knowing her profile, and got it right.
Curious, my female owner attempted the same FB quiz... and going through the questions, she started to wonder what might happen if she didnt get the same result as always. Her profile had always been consistently INFP. And surprise surprise, her result was as per usual, INFP! For some reason, my female owner expected something else to appear. Anyway, my female owner can imagine herself in any of the careers suggested. Hmmm..
__________________________________________
INFP - The Idealist
You are a special and sensitive individual that needs a career which is more than just a job. You need to feel that what you do everyday has special meaning and can live your life in accordance to your strong value system. You are focused on constant growth and have a positive outlook on life. Because you are driven to do find meaning and purpose in your work, you will be happiest in careers where you are allowed to work towards those values you hold and towards the greater good of humanity as a whole. Many of the great writers of the world have been INFPs.
Some of your personality traits include:
* Strong value systems
* Warmly interested in people
* Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above your own
* Loyal and devoted to people and causes
* Future-oriented
* Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
* Creative and inspirational
* Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
* Sensitive and complex
* Dislike dealing with details and routine work
* Original and individualistic - "out of the mainstream"
* Excellent written communication skills
* Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
* Value deep and authentic relationships
* Want to be seen and appreciated for who you are
Some of your suggested careers are:
* Writer
* Counselor / Social Worker
* Teacher / Professor
* Psychologist
* Psychiatrist
* Musician
* Clergy / Religious Workers
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Kevin Kern - Touch the Sky
My female owner has always enjoyed Kevin Kern's music. She never knew that he cant see. Watching this video, seeing how fluently he navigated the keys and the emotions he put in his songs made her realise that really, one is only limited by the restrictions he places on him.
Monday, September 14, 2009
restless
My female owner is feeling very restless today. She did absolutely nothing today, except to pull herself out of her house to attend her 3pm lecture. She had great thoughts of skipping class. Someone was telling her to just go, since she lives so near school. My female owner’s reply was that it is not a convenience issue, but a motivational one.
She is also restless because Second Onli Fren is arriving in the wee hours of Wed morning! Woohoo! Just a couple of days more. I know she can’t wait to see her again. They used to spend so much time together… sleeping over at each other’s houses, scuba-diving, exercising, eating, eating, more eating, serving in church together, playing bridge, talking through the wee hours of the morning…
Actually, I must attribute my female owner’s flute learning journey (and us turtles’ suffering) to Second Onli Fren. For some strange reason, both of them got interested in learning to play the flute at the same time. So, with peer encouragement, they signed up for classes at Yamaha. Second Onli Fren missed the first two lessons, attended the next one, and quitted after that, leaving my female owner to carry on with her flute exploits. Talk about being abandoned from the word “go”!
Yah, so anyway, my female owner’s feeling sianz today. There’s no one online whom she wanna talk to. Nothing to look forward to for the night (especially since both her housemates are home so early…)
And a happie thought just popped into her head… “get some durian chips!” oh well, at least she is good at self-regulating her mood.
She is also restless because Second Onli Fren is arriving in the wee hours of Wed morning! Woohoo! Just a couple of days more. I know she can’t wait to see her again. They used to spend so much time together… sleeping over at each other’s houses, scuba-diving, exercising, eating, eating, more eating, serving in church together, playing bridge, talking through the wee hours of the morning…
Actually, I must attribute my female owner’s flute learning journey (and us turtles’ suffering) to Second Onli Fren. For some strange reason, both of them got interested in learning to play the flute at the same time. So, with peer encouragement, they signed up for classes at Yamaha. Second Onli Fren missed the first two lessons, attended the next one, and quitted after that, leaving my female owner to carry on with her flute exploits. Talk about being abandoned from the word “go”!
Yah, so anyway, my female owner’s feeling sianz today. There’s no one online whom she wanna talk to. Nothing to look forward to for the night (especially since both her housemates are home so early…)
And a happie thought just popped into her head… “get some durian chips!” oh well, at least she is good at self-regulating her mood.
cook
My female owner always says that you can tell a person’s character from the way he cooks.
In my female owner’s bible study group, people take turns to cook for one another. Outside of church, she sometimes has potluck dinners with her friends or cooks dinner with them.
It’s not the culinary skills that she looks out for. Rather, she looks at how people put a meal together that tells her more about the person. Using this, she has encouraged many individuals with the positives she observed. As a food team leader, she always encourage her members to “cook with the heart”, coz her personal belief is that when people see the sincerity through the food, they will enjoy the food more. She also hopes that will take the pressure of her team to “perform” as well as the masterchefs in her bible study group.
Erm, the same can’t be said about the way she prepares food for us turtles. It comes straight out of a container… and once every two days at best. Sometimes, she procrastinates and we don’t get fed till the 3rd day. But well, there was a time when she actually boiled mini pieces of carrots for Dodo (who liked it so much) and Dona… and received a shelling from her mother for being “so free”. Apparently, she got jealous that my female owner took time to boil carrots for my brothers but didn’t bother to prepare a meal for her.
In my female owner’s bible study group, people take turns to cook for one another. Outside of church, she sometimes has potluck dinners with her friends or cooks dinner with them.
It’s not the culinary skills that she looks out for. Rather, she looks at how people put a meal together that tells her more about the person. Using this, she has encouraged many individuals with the positives she observed. As a food team leader, she always encourage her members to “cook with the heart”, coz her personal belief is that when people see the sincerity through the food, they will enjoy the food more. She also hopes that will take the pressure of her team to “perform” as well as the masterchefs in her bible study group.
Erm, the same can’t be said about the way she prepares food for us turtles. It comes straight out of a container… and once every two days at best. Sometimes, she procrastinates and we don’t get fed till the 3rd day. But well, there was a time when she actually boiled mini pieces of carrots for Dodo (who liked it so much) and Dona… and received a shelling from her mother for being “so free”. Apparently, she got jealous that my female owner took time to boil carrots for my brothers but didn’t bother to prepare a meal for her.
speechless
My female owner had a mini outburst today because of what someone said to her yesterday. Instead of internalising her emotions (as what she would normally do), she decided to clear her system by talking to I-Fren about it (since he would know where she was coming from). Yah, the outburst came from the sharing coz she had suppressed her reactions for a good part of yesterday.
Looks like my female owner is still in the early stages of establishing her sense of self, clarifying her values/ beliefs and recognising her internal compass. Brisbane09 has been a fruitful journey for her in countless ways. Having said that, the more she grew/ learnt/ discovered, the more she realised that there are so much more she wants to work on in terms of character building, personal development and spiritual maturity. And each challenge she faced (like yesterday) presents a chance for her to respond in a more appropriate manner, and to reflect on how she has changed.
My female owner says that while she was speechless (as she normally would be when caught offguarded) when her friend said something uncalled for (in her opinion), the way she handled the aftermath was less emotional and rash than before. Well, she did realise that she needs to work more on thinking on her feet and conflict management. For now, she has decided to move on and let go of her negative emotions. She has sort-of worked out her values and beliefs with regards to the issue and if approached by anyone, she knows what she will say to stand by her choice of actions. Of course, at this point in time, it still has to be an amiable exchange, and not a sudden confrontation. Otherwise, she would be speechless again. At the end of the day, my female owner is still not up to that sort of intense interpersonal exchange.
For now, my female owner thinks that it would be great if people will listen first and not jump to conclusions.
Looks like my female owner is still in the early stages of establishing her sense of self, clarifying her values/ beliefs and recognising her internal compass. Brisbane09 has been a fruitful journey for her in countless ways. Having said that, the more she grew/ learnt/ discovered, the more she realised that there are so much more she wants to work on in terms of character building, personal development and spiritual maturity. And each challenge she faced (like yesterday) presents a chance for her to respond in a more appropriate manner, and to reflect on how she has changed.
My female owner says that while she was speechless (as she normally would be when caught offguarded) when her friend said something uncalled for (in her opinion), the way she handled the aftermath was less emotional and rash than before. Well, she did realise that she needs to work more on thinking on her feet and conflict management. For now, she has decided to move on and let go of her negative emotions. She has sort-of worked out her values and beliefs with regards to the issue and if approached by anyone, she knows what she will say to stand by her choice of actions. Of course, at this point in time, it still has to be an amiable exchange, and not a sudden confrontation. Otherwise, she would be speechless again. At the end of the day, my female owner is still not up to that sort of intense interpersonal exchange.
For now, my female owner thinks that it would be great if people will listen first and not jump to conclusions.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
another birthday!
It's my brothers' 9th birthday today!
Wah, they are so old already. Almost double digit. We girls started living with them when we crossed the "cute stage" for our original owner and my female owner took us in so that we could receive better care.
Wishing them happie birthday! I know my female owner misses them... and us! Evidence? She looked into a fish tank, saw a goldfish... and interacted with it, the way she would with us!
Wah, they are so old already. Almost double digit. We girls started living with them when we crossed the "cute stage" for our original owner and my female owner took us in so that we could receive better care.
Wishing them happie birthday! I know my female owner misses them... and us! Evidence? She looked into a fish tank, saw a goldfish... and interacted with it, the way she would with us!
Dona (the smaller turtle) is camera-shy.. so we dont have many photos of him. That's Dodo on the left...
Another rare shot of my brothers together. Notice how Dodo is nosing Dona. He always does that. Makes me wonder if Dodo has a special affection for Dona...
Dodo... comfortable in my female owner's hands (as always) while she takes a picture of him. 
Saturday, September 12, 2009
reminded
After working hard for 6 weeks running, my female owner is starting to feel physically exhausted. Not in a depressive sense, but just perhaps, burnt out. So it is timely that she is getting a three weeks’ break from her externship placement due to the school holidays. My female owner has seldom looked forward to Fridays, the way she has in recent times. Fridays (and some part of weekends) are now like an oasis for her.
So anyway, my female owner began counting down her commitments before the rest of the year is over. 13 weeks till December… 7 weeks of coursework… etc etc.
Today, God reminded her that what it really means is that she has 12 more weeks to go before her time in Brisbane 09 is over. 12 weeks. It is not about counting down the number of weeks back to Singapore. It is about maximising the remaining time she has, to achieve even greater spiritual maturity and intimacy with God.
Today, God reminded her of the first few weeks she spent in Brisbane last year. Particularly, how He helped her ease into the local church. Also, His faithfulness and protection leading her back into His presence.
Finally, God reminded that He knows beforehand the things that my female owner is going to experience (or had experienced, depending on what time-frame you are using) and if He had allowed some things to happen, He has/ had those events under control. So my female owner can rest in the knowledge of His sovereign will and know that she can overcome all things that come in her way.
So anyway, my female owner began counting down her commitments before the rest of the year is over. 13 weeks till December… 7 weeks of coursework… etc etc.
Today, God reminded her that what it really means is that she has 12 more weeks to go before her time in Brisbane 09 is over. 12 weeks. It is not about counting down the number of weeks back to Singapore. It is about maximising the remaining time she has, to achieve even greater spiritual maturity and intimacy with God.
Today, God reminded her of the first few weeks she spent in Brisbane last year. Particularly, how He helped her ease into the local church. Also, His faithfulness and protection leading her back into His presence.
Finally, God reminded that He knows beforehand the things that my female owner is going to experience (or had experienced, depending on what time-frame you are using) and if He had allowed some things to happen, He has/ had those events under control. So my female owner can rest in the knowledge of His sovereign will and know that she can overcome all things that come in her way.
Friday, September 11, 2009
ang pow
Being away from Singapore means that my female owner misses all her friends’ weddings. Actually, at her age, most of her friends are already in the baby-making stage (yeah, she is so far behind... but that's a separate story altogether). So she is missing out on two significant life events of her friends.
Come to think of it, the ones who are getting married are actually her ex-girls! Yeah, the girls she used to nurture when they were fresh out of Sunday School. A couple of them are getting married…. to her peer male friends. Hmmm... must have been interesting for her to see how things had developed over the years.
So, anyway, after being out of touch of the “market rate” for so long, it was handy that one of her friends sent her this.
Come to think of it, the ones who are getting married are actually her ex-girls! Yeah, the girls she used to nurture when they were fresh out of Sunday School. A couple of them are getting married…. to her peer male friends. Hmmm... must have been interesting for her to see how things had developed over the years.
So, anyway, after being out of touch of the “market rate” for so long, it was handy that one of her friends sent her this.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
stats
Procrastinating on doing statistical analyses for her research work, my female owner decided to start the ball rolling by running a statistical analysis of her friends on FB.
Most common name: Tan (4 friends)
Most common zodiac sign: Libra (25 friends)
Longest name: Straysvolunteers Tan
Shortest name: TJ Tan
Female/Male: 47% / 53%
Single/Taken: 31% / 69%
Youngest friend: 18 years old
Longest life: 49 years old
Average age: 28 years old
Hmmm…Looks like my female owner’s friends are on average, 10 years older than her. Hurhur! I think I know who the 18yo is. As part of English tuition, she once had to look at my brothers, Nana (when he was still alive) Dodo and Dona and write a short composition about them. Must have traumatised her badly then.
Most common name: Tan (4 friends)
Most common zodiac sign: Libra (25 friends)
Longest name: Straysvolunteers Tan
Shortest name: TJ Tan
Female/Male: 47% / 53%
Single/Taken: 31% / 69%
Youngest friend: 18 years old
Longest life: 49 years old
Average age: 28 years old
Hmmm…Looks like my female owner’s friends are on average, 10 years older than her. Hurhur! I think I know who the 18yo is. As part of English tuition, she once had to look at my brothers, Nana (when he was still alive) Dodo and Dona and write a short composition about them. Must have traumatised her badly then.
Monday, September 07, 2009
gender
Another one of those pensive days… its her parents’ wedding anniversary. 34th it seems. And also, her ex-bf’s birthday. So you can imagine what she is thinking about. Truth be told, my female owner often wonders what happened to him. More of curiosity than pinning (good heavens, no!).
Anyway, a guy recently declared to her a few times, that “girls are troublesome, so it’s better to remain single”. Hmmm… the male version of her “all guys are bad” statement. She was actually taken aback to hear this coming from a Christian brother, spoken with great exasperation and frustration too. I wonder what happened to him.
And another guy (who was around) was lamenting how unreasonable girls are, to expect guys to understand them, when they keep changing their minds. And together, they (the two guys) said that girls should just say what they want, instead of hinting or expecting the guy to know.
Oh well… gender differences. My female owner, being out-numbered and trapped in a car (that's the best place to have a captive audience), wisely listened and displayed (professional?) empathy for their difficulties.
Anyway, a guy recently declared to her a few times, that “girls are troublesome, so it’s better to remain single”. Hmmm… the male version of her “all guys are bad” statement. She was actually taken aback to hear this coming from a Christian brother, spoken with great exasperation and frustration too. I wonder what happened to him.
And another guy (who was around) was lamenting how unreasonable girls are, to expect guys to understand them, when they keep changing their minds. And together, they (the two guys) said that girls should just say what they want, instead of hinting or expecting the guy to know.
Oh well… gender differences. My female owner, being out-numbered and trapped in a car (that's the best place to have a captive audience), wisely listened and displayed (professional?) empathy for their difficulties.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
chance
It has happened so many times that my female owner doesn’t know whether to be spooked by it.
It started in the postgrad pantry of the School of Psychology on the first day of class in Sem 1 this year. She was about to use the microwave oven when he also approached it. My female owner offered to let him use first. Her curiosity was aroused because Asian guys appearing in the postgrad pantry of the School of Psychology was a rare occurrence. She thought he might be a new student.
After lunch, she trotted off for her first class in domestic violence. Lo and behold, he entered the class. Mildly shocked at the coincidence, my female owner quickly figured out that he is a postgrad counselling student.
My female owner didn’t expect more “coincidences” to happen, after the two chance encounters within an hour. She was so wrong.
Soon after this, they happened to meet at the entrance of the library and chatted.
She met him once along the road, as she entered school at 6pm on a weeknight (she was meeting her supervisor, he was obviously on the way home). Again, they chatted.
Once, she saw him entering the library, as she was heading that way to meet Therapist Fren who had to meet someone else to pass on some materials. Anti-social, she decided to hang around outside before going in. She met Therapist Fren and waited with her for the person…. who turned out to be him! And they continued a conversation from the previous encounter. There’s no escape it seems.
Attending her first psychology class of Sem 2, she saw him in the class. He had chosen it as an elective. The chance encounters did not end there.
Recently, she met him again, at Sunnybank, on a random weekday where she was grocery shopping with Therapist Fren after an afternoon of tim-sum. She thought maybe he stays in Sunnybank.
And in one of the few times she went to the library this Sem, she was hunting for a particular book, when he appeared at the very aisle… and was looking for a book at the very spot she was at.
Today was probably the weirdest occurrence of all. She was in school doing some work. In the evening, after some procrastination, she eradicated herself to do a short run around the school. Finishing up at 1800hr, on a Saturday evening in uni, she met him again while going back to her office. He had just finished swimming and was going back to his locker. She asked him where he lived (coz of the chance encounter at Sunnybank) and found out that he lived in the same suburb as her. Hmmm..
How weird are these encounters?! She meets him more often by chance than any of her friends, in vastly different circumstances too. And before you think, wah, so fated, maybe it’s a sign… my female owner has been quick to point out that he is shorter than her. So no go.
It started in the postgrad pantry of the School of Psychology on the first day of class in Sem 1 this year. She was about to use the microwave oven when he also approached it. My female owner offered to let him use first. Her curiosity was aroused because Asian guys appearing in the postgrad pantry of the School of Psychology was a rare occurrence. She thought he might be a new student.
After lunch, she trotted off for her first class in domestic violence. Lo and behold, he entered the class. Mildly shocked at the coincidence, my female owner quickly figured out that he is a postgrad counselling student.
My female owner didn’t expect more “coincidences” to happen, after the two chance encounters within an hour. She was so wrong.
Soon after this, they happened to meet at the entrance of the library and chatted.
She met him once along the road, as she entered school at 6pm on a weeknight (she was meeting her supervisor, he was obviously on the way home). Again, they chatted.
Once, she saw him entering the library, as she was heading that way to meet Therapist Fren who had to meet someone else to pass on some materials. Anti-social, she decided to hang around outside before going in. She met Therapist Fren and waited with her for the person…. who turned out to be him! And they continued a conversation from the previous encounter. There’s no escape it seems.
Attending her first psychology class of Sem 2, she saw him in the class. He had chosen it as an elective. The chance encounters did not end there.
Recently, she met him again, at Sunnybank, on a random weekday where she was grocery shopping with Therapist Fren after an afternoon of tim-sum. She thought maybe he stays in Sunnybank.
And in one of the few times she went to the library this Sem, she was hunting for a particular book, when he appeared at the very aisle… and was looking for a book at the very spot she was at.
Today was probably the weirdest occurrence of all. She was in school doing some work. In the evening, after some procrastination, she eradicated herself to do a short run around the school. Finishing up at 1800hr, on a Saturday evening in uni, she met him again while going back to her office. He had just finished swimming and was going back to his locker. She asked him where he lived (coz of the chance encounter at Sunnybank) and found out that he lived in the same suburb as her. Hmmm..
How weird are these encounters?! She meets him more often by chance than any of her friends, in vastly different circumstances too. And before you think, wah, so fated, maybe it’s a sign… my female owner has been quick to point out that he is shorter than her. So no go.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
The lion reunion christian full
My female owner cried when she watched this video (as usual!). This is the news clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjZr2UuOalo
Ah, she had been asked many times to release us turtles into the wild. If she ever does (which I hope she doesn't!! we are so domesticated already and can't swim), I'm sure us turtles will come running towards her, as fast as our little hands and legs can carry us, if we see her standing by the pond, waiting for our appearance.
Learning English through Exercise
My female owner couldnt decide whether the clip was to help people learn English through exercise, or learn exercise through English. Some of the moves, though slow, look like they require complex motor coordination.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
emo-ness
My female owner had an ultra-emo day yesterday. She just felt like being emo, even though there was nothing really wrong in her life. Or maybe, there is really something wrong in her life, since she is emo over nothing! Anyway, she was largely stressed over her research work and tutor responsibilities.
For the first time ever, she showed her emo-ness to some of her bible study group friends over email. This is just a group of six individuals who spent one random night playing the boardgame Man Law Woman Rule (apparently, this is a really fun and eye-opening game to play, if you want to know your friends better) and thereafter, kept chatting over email.
In the midst of her emo-ness, she received an email from a good fren who was mega-emo. My female owner then tore herself away from her own emo-ness, in order to draft a supportive email back. But she got sucked deeper into the emo vibes. She also found out that one of her friends is using drugs and felt responsible (but helpless) to do anything about it.
At night, she went for a prayer meeting held in the house of one of her bible study group friends (who cooked a yummy beef noodle soup for everyone! So sweet!!). She was touched when one of them recalled the contents of her email and asked if she would like to be prayed for (people are actually processing what she wrote!). The night ended with her practicing for worship with some of her friends. Everyone was tired and couldn’t coordinate properly (timing, pitch etc), but they had great fun in the midst of the chaos.
Coming home, she found out that she actually clocked less than 75mins for her 10km run on Sunday. That was a pleasant surprise, coz she thought she would take two hours, although she was aiming for less than 85mins. In fact, her timing was faster than any of her previous attempts in Singapore (especially her first attempt when she was 23yo, so ageing hasn’t affected her speed, something to cheer about.)
Hmmm..
And this morning, her supervisor told her that the introduction draft (which she submitted to him last night) was good for her thesis, that it had the logic required and well, basically she just had to tighten it to use it in publications.
Phew. Some headway made, after working on that introduction for a few weeks.
Definitely less emo today.
For the first time ever, she showed her emo-ness to some of her bible study group friends over email. This is just a group of six individuals who spent one random night playing the boardgame Man Law Woman Rule (apparently, this is a really fun and eye-opening game to play, if you want to know your friends better) and thereafter, kept chatting over email.
In the midst of her emo-ness, she received an email from a good fren who was mega-emo. My female owner then tore herself away from her own emo-ness, in order to draft a supportive email back. But she got sucked deeper into the emo vibes. She also found out that one of her friends is using drugs and felt responsible (but helpless) to do anything about it.
At night, she went for a prayer meeting held in the house of one of her bible study group friends (who cooked a yummy beef noodle soup for everyone! So sweet!!). She was touched when one of them recalled the contents of her email and asked if she would like to be prayed for (people are actually processing what she wrote!). The night ended with her practicing for worship with some of her friends. Everyone was tired and couldn’t coordinate properly (timing, pitch etc), but they had great fun in the midst of the chaos.
Coming home, she found out that she actually clocked less than 75mins for her 10km run on Sunday. That was a pleasant surprise, coz she thought she would take two hours, although she was aiming for less than 85mins. In fact, her timing was faster than any of her previous attempts in Singapore (especially her first attempt when she was 23yo, so ageing hasn’t affected her speed, something to cheer about.)
Hmmm..
And this morning, her supervisor told her that the introduction draft (which she submitted to him last night) was good for her thesis, that it had the logic required and well, basically she just had to tighten it to use it in publications.
Phew. Some headway made, after working on that introduction for a few weeks.
Definitely less emo today.
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My siblings and I
From top left: Dodo, Dona, me (Nooki) and Nanook