My female owner got herself into an emo frenzy just now. Well… a frenzy that lasted for a couple of hours. It all started with a comment she made to Onli Fren… that she “could have been in Singapore” now. Onli Fren got puzzled, coz she thought that my female owner was at peace with her decision not to return to Singapore. My female owner responded that it is harder now, coz this is the period where she would have been back in Singapore, if she had bought a ticket home. And everytime she sees a plane in the sky (for some reason, they fly low enough for her to identify the plane as a Qantas carrier), she wishes pensively that she is onboard that plane..
And the two of them got into a “could be” exchange.
“we could be having dinner together now” (Onli Fren had dinner near my female owner’s house just now. Hey! That means that she was near us turtles just now.)
“so near yet so far”
“we could be having high tea together tomorrow, … with Second Onli Fren”
And Onli Fren changed her “TGIF” tagline to “we could have been shopping together on Friday”.
Oh well… that’s how my female owner is. She takes ages to make a decision, accepts it somewhat… but still pokes herself once in a while with "hypotheticals" (as what I-Fren terms her fantasies).
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
together
My female owner had a nightmare this morning, when she was snoozing and rolling about in bed. She dreamt that she was still together with ex2! And in her dream, she wondered why she agreed to get back with him coz he was pissing her off as usual.
She had no choice but to wake up.
She had no choice but to wake up.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
exhausted
Yes, I know. I haven’t been updating this Turtle Pad. It has been hard to get hold of my female owner, even though her exam is over and things at her placement are winding down.
My female owner had been occupied with her church conference which started on Friday evening and ended this afternoon. Despite having a regular sleep pattern (12midnight to 0800hr), she reports being exhausted by the end of the conference. She reckons that it was partly because she was constantly surrounded by people. Hence, she used up lotsa energy being with people (sign of being an introvert) and the anti-social side of her is protesting at this overdrive.
She says too that she learnt a great deal over the weekend. So much that she can’t provide a decent summary. Hence, she needs some time to consolidate the learning points and pick out aspects to focus on.
For now, she is really exhausted. Her thoughts are swirling in her brain and her vision, foggy.
My female owner had been occupied with her church conference which started on Friday evening and ended this afternoon. Despite having a regular sleep pattern (12midnight to 0800hr), she reports being exhausted by the end of the conference. She reckons that it was partly because she was constantly surrounded by people. Hence, she used up lotsa energy being with people (sign of being an introvert) and the anti-social side of her is protesting at this overdrive.
She says too that she learnt a great deal over the weekend. So much that she can’t provide a decent summary. Hence, she needs some time to consolidate the learning points and pick out aspects to focus on.
For now, she is really exhausted. Her thoughts are swirling in her brain and her vision, foggy.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
lentils
My female owner hasn’t been cooking for a while because of her schedule and soon-to-expire Mee Goreng (which necessitates urgent consumption). So anyway, she finally managed to crave out time to cook tonight. She was all set to do a macaroni in chicken and vegetable soup when she remembered that she had previously identified a soup recipe from Coles Winter Magazine as a new dish which she would try (remember she wanted to expand her cooking repetoire?)
And so, she learnt about the existence of a commonly used ingredient in soups – lentils. Yah, that’s the ignorant Singaporean gal for you. Even her Mandarin-speaking housemate could identify lentils by its English name when she saw my female owner washing it! Lentils are apparently good for you and my female owner reckons that she had eaten it before, without knowing its name. As you can see from the ingredients list, my female owner merely channelled the intended ingredients for her chicken and veg soup to this recipe.
And so, she learnt about the existence of a commonly used ingredient in soups – lentils. Yah, that’s the ignorant Singaporean gal for you. Even her Mandarin-speaking housemate could identify lentils by its English name when she saw my female owner washing it! Lentils are apparently good for you and my female owner reckons that she had eaten it before, without knowing its name. As you can see from the ingredients list, my female owner merely channelled the intended ingredients for her chicken and veg soup to this recipe.
Vegetable & Lentils Soup
1 ¼ cups green lentils
3 stalks celery, with leaves,chopped
2 carrots, peeled, chopped
1 onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
400g can diced tomatoes
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp tomato paste
grated parmesan and celery leaves, to serve
1 Wash lentils under running water. Drain well. Place in a large saucepan and cover with water. Bring to the boil on high heat. Drain, rinse and return lentils to same pan.
2 Cover with 8 cups of water and bring to the boil again on high. Add remaining ingredients, except parmesan. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Cover and simmer for 1 hr, until the lentils are tender and the soup has thickened slightly.
3 Serve topped with grated parmesan and a few chopped celery leaves, if you like.
This is how the soup is supposed to look like. 
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
soup
The sudden death of Singapore’s Father of Counselling sparked off a conversation between my female owner and Counselling Fren.
My female owner always had high regards for Counselling Fren’s counselling skills. And she found out that he had actually received clinical supervision from the Father of Counselling. Now, that explains something, doesn’t it?
So my female owner asked Counselling Fren what the main lessons he learnt from him were. Without hesitation, he listed the following:
· just be urself
· u are the most effective tool in any therapeutic r/s
· doing nothing is actually doing smthg
· always ask the reasons behind every actions
Ah, chicken soup for the counsellor?
My female owner always had high regards for Counselling Fren’s counselling skills. And she found out that he had actually received clinical supervision from the Father of Counselling. Now, that explains something, doesn’t it?
So my female owner asked Counselling Fren what the main lessons he learnt from him were. Without hesitation, he listed the following:
· just be urself
· u are the most effective tool in any therapeutic r/s
· doing nothing is actually doing smthg
· always ask the reasons behind every actions
Ah, chicken soup for the counsellor?
living
Took me a while to do this, but I finally managed to wrestle my female owner’s pet peeves about sharing house with others. The scenarios below are true.
Leaving unwashed dishes in the sink or around the sink overnight (and longer)
Leaving laundry in the washing machine or on the laundry line longer than necessary
Having house parties without first informing other housemates
Having house parties during examination periods
Not clearing up after guests leave
Not disposing bags of rubbish after house parties
Allowing fresh food to rot in refrigerators and not clearing them even when they have decomposed
Not replacing toilet paper when the roll is finished
Making a mess of bathrooms
Leaving mess in common areas like the living room or dining area
Smoking in the house (includes balcony)
Exhausting internet download limits before the month is up
One that she will always remember: Burning housemate’s plants
Leaving unwashed dishes in the sink or around the sink overnight (and longer)
Leaving laundry in the washing machine or on the laundry line longer than necessary
Having house parties without first informing other housemates
Having house parties during examination periods
Not clearing up after guests leave
Not disposing bags of rubbish after house parties
Allowing fresh food to rot in refrigerators and not clearing them even when they have decomposed
Not replacing toilet paper when the roll is finished
Making a mess of bathrooms
Leaving mess in common areas like the living room or dining area
Smoking in the house (includes balcony)
Exhausting internet download limits before the month is up
One that she will always remember: Burning housemate’s plants
Sunday, June 21, 2009
plan
For those who are wondering what my female owner is up to, since it is post-exam and she is not coming back to Singapore (BIG WAIL! Apparently she made the final firm decision not to come back this July because God told her not to go back… why???), I managed to get a little update from her.
Her main work now concerns her dodgy placement. Her supervisor had assigned extra work to the externs by insisting that they run another group (can you believe it?!). This time, it would be on memory enhancement. Two sessions. So the whole cycle starts again - advertisement, recruitment, background reading and research, session planning, consolidation of tipsheets.
She also needs to consolidate a placement folio consisting of the following:
- Update of hours (clinical, supervision, administrative)
- Reflection statement (time to be diplomatic… and euphemistic?)
- N=1 case study (like a journal article of a case. She is going to write on her group therapy. Nothing much to shout about, she says).
- Organisational project (she hasn’t started on this and her last day is next Friday! She needs to do some research to come up with a tipsheet differentiating between dementia and depression)
- Written samples – three psychological reports (my female owner is not looking forward to doing this, because she hasn’t really done real psychological interventions so she needs to cook up some story with the meagre ingredients she has)
Next, her research work. She has been claiming 10hours worth of work per week but seriously, hasn’t done much for her supervisor yet. She needs to start writing papers or crunching data for him, just that she hasn’t gotten a clue of what he wants. And he hasn’t kept in contact with her either, except to approve her hours! How strange is this culture?
Finally, she has to work on her personal goals for winter 2009. This includes play and non-play stuff.
If all things go well, her second placement will start in mid July. This gives her two weeks of REAL break. So there, her holiday plans mapped out.
back
My female owner found out that one of her bible study group member is going back to her home country for about 6 months. And she might not return after that.
This news came as a shock to her. I think my female owner had somehow taken for granted that given their “working” status, her bible study group members are staying in Brisbane for the long haul.
She then realised that people come and go and this is probably something she has to get used to, being surrounded by international students/ friends. Although my female owner only knew this person for about 4 months, she has grown attached to her and knows that she would miss her when she leaves.
Yah, and my female owner starts to wonder about her own eventual farewell to Brisbane. The people whom she would leave behind, the lifestyle she would have grown to love, the weather (so shiok, she says) etc. Oh well, I better stop talking about this, before I make her sound as if she is living in the past, catastrophising about the future, and missing out on the present. All I want to say now is that my female owner is sorry that half of her programme is completed and she has only another 1.5 years to go..
This news came as a shock to her. I think my female owner had somehow taken for granted that given their “working” status, her bible study group members are staying in Brisbane for the long haul.
She then realised that people come and go and this is probably something she has to get used to, being surrounded by international students/ friends. Although my female owner only knew this person for about 4 months, she has grown attached to her and knows that she would miss her when she leaves.
Yah, and my female owner starts to wonder about her own eventual farewell to Brisbane. The people whom she would leave behind, the lifestyle she would have grown to love, the weather (so shiok, she says) etc. Oh well, I better stop talking about this, before I make her sound as if she is living in the past, catastrophising about the future, and missing out on the present. All I want to say now is that my female owner is sorry that half of her programme is completed and she has only another 1.5 years to go..
Saturday, June 20, 2009
rocky
Have you ever quarrelled with your parents? What do you do after that?
My female owner was reminded of her rocky relationship with her mother today. From a young age, mother and daughter had problems getting along. Each outing they had would usually end up in a quarrel. This trend was so predictable that her father would instruct her before they went out “don’t quarrel with mummy”. Hardly works. He should have phrased his words positively. Instead of telling her what NOT to do, he could have taught her what to do instead.
During the all famous storm and stress adolescent years, conflicts ran aplenty and there were episodes of shouting matches which sometimes ended with the slamming of doors (only my female owner, not her mum. I wonder where she picked that up from). My female owner had a lot of pride in her and she would NEVER say sorry. She also lacked skills in conflict resolution and her main way of coping with the aftermath of a full-blown argument was … a cold war. Her father, a man with strong linguistic ability and wide general knowledge, had a term for this behaviour. He called it the “non-talking technique”. So there you go, not talking to her mother while she was still seething inside. And when her anger had dissipated, pride prevented her from making the first move to talk to her mother (even casually). Her mother was most certainly the first one to say something to her. Of course, my female owner would reciprocate with an appropriate response.
Thank goodness, these tensions peppered out over the past few years. In fact, non-existent to the point that she literally forgot that they once had a rocky (but strongly bonded) relationship.
My female owner was reminded of her rocky relationship with her mother today. From a young age, mother and daughter had problems getting along. Each outing they had would usually end up in a quarrel. This trend was so predictable that her father would instruct her before they went out “don’t quarrel with mummy”. Hardly works. He should have phrased his words positively. Instead of telling her what NOT to do, he could have taught her what to do instead.
During the all famous storm and stress adolescent years, conflicts ran aplenty and there were episodes of shouting matches which sometimes ended with the slamming of doors (only my female owner, not her mum. I wonder where she picked that up from). My female owner had a lot of pride in her and she would NEVER say sorry. She also lacked skills in conflict resolution and her main way of coping with the aftermath of a full-blown argument was … a cold war. Her father, a man with strong linguistic ability and wide general knowledge, had a term for this behaviour. He called it the “non-talking technique”. So there you go, not talking to her mother while she was still seething inside. And when her anger had dissipated, pride prevented her from making the first move to talk to her mother (even casually). Her mother was most certainly the first one to say something to her. Of course, my female owner would reciprocate with an appropriate response.
Thank goodness, these tensions peppered out over the past few years. In fact, non-existent to the point that she literally forgot that they once had a rocky (but strongly bonded) relationship.
Friday, June 19, 2009
derogatory
My female owner was peeved yesterday. I think she was just projecting her annoyance about the aged care placement in the situation.
First of all, she didn’t feel like going to school at 1730hr (in the cold) to have clinical supervision. The last few sessions had been a waste of time. She was clocking supervision hours for the sake of hitting 50hours. She wanted to call in sick/ busy/ forgot but stuck to going, because of the conviction she received after reading I-Fren’s blog on how he handled his less-than-impressive placement woes.
So, she went for supervision, still disgruntled inside her.
During supervision, her clinical supervisor told them that she attended an aging talk delivered by an Associate Professor who is an expert in aging issues and there was an exchange that went something like that:
AP: “How many of you expect to die in a nursing home when you grow old?”
5 hands (out of 25 people) went up.
AP: “All of you should put up your hand, unless you want to be a burden to others.”
My female owner, normally placid and quiet, spoke up without much hesitation.
“I don’t think I agree that taking care of our aged loved ones should be termed as a burden (silently: And AP’s words contradicts her actions. Her choice of words only reinforces negative perceptions about aging and this contradicts her outward efforts to advocate for older people). I mean, in my culture, we see looking after our older people as an honour and duty, after all the years they spent bringing up us. Difficult to look after maybe, but no, not a burden.”
Yes, she was upset with the hypocrisy. What’s this nonsense (note: original word was censored) about needing to provide better psychological care/ services to older people, when aging experts when speaking from their professional capacity, uses derogatory terms to describe older people. No wonder there is a lack of healthcare workers in this field.
First of all, she didn’t feel like going to school at 1730hr (in the cold) to have clinical supervision. The last few sessions had been a waste of time. She was clocking supervision hours for the sake of hitting 50hours. She wanted to call in sick/ busy/ forgot but stuck to going, because of the conviction she received after reading I-Fren’s blog on how he handled his less-than-impressive placement woes.
So, she went for supervision, still disgruntled inside her.
During supervision, her clinical supervisor told them that she attended an aging talk delivered by an Associate Professor who is an expert in aging issues and there was an exchange that went something like that:
AP: “How many of you expect to die in a nursing home when you grow old?”
5 hands (out of 25 people) went up.
AP: “All of you should put up your hand, unless you want to be a burden to others.”
My female owner, normally placid and quiet, spoke up without much hesitation.
“I don’t think I agree that taking care of our aged loved ones should be termed as a burden (silently: And AP’s words contradicts her actions. Her choice of words only reinforces negative perceptions about aging and this contradicts her outward efforts to advocate for older people). I mean, in my culture, we see looking after our older people as an honour and duty, after all the years they spent bringing up us. Difficult to look after maybe, but no, not a burden.”
Yes, she was upset with the hypocrisy. What’s this nonsense (note: original word was censored) about needing to provide better psychological care/ services to older people, when aging experts when speaking from their professional capacity, uses derogatory terms to describe older people. No wonder there is a lack of healthcare workers in this field.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
practice
My female owner says she had an awesome worship practice last night.
Okies, this is the background. A while ago, she agreed to help out with playing music in her bible study group. They decided to start her off on guitar first, even though they needed keyboardists, because she was more familiar with guitar. However, because she played the instrument sporadically over the past ten years and was/ is in need of more consistent practice, the decision was made for her to play alongside a seasoned guitarist first. So that’s what they did last night. Two worship leaders, two guitarists and one extra guitarist (who happened to be in the house).
And you know my female owner. She enjoys playing music with people. Just adds to the synergy, she says.
For example, there was a slow song where the lead guitarist starting plucking the strings. On hearing that, my female owner switched from strumming to just using her pick to go down the strings gently. This resulted in a quiet and soothing mood. The two of them became so caught up with the music that they totally missed the worship leader’s hand signals to increase volume and finally, out of exasperation, she had to verbalise her instructions “go louder and strum!” Always fun to play differently but complementary (just like her flute and piano pieces).
And of course, working in a team with like-minded people who are forgiving and tolerant of her inadequacies was uplifting and inspiring. Correction was done in the spirit of love and pain (on the part of the guitarists mainly!) was endured willingly for the greater objective. In spite of time pressure, the session was marked with laughter, joy and energy. Even though my female owner had rehearsed for worship with other people in her younger days (think: more than 10 years ago), this was an eye-opening experience. She saw that her friends were not doing things as a matter of routine or mere practice. They were striving for excellence in the way they conceptualised the worship session, great attention to details and persistence in working out the stuck points, with the sole aim of leading the rest of the group into an intimate time of worship on Friday.
It was a refreshing change for my female owner as well.
Having been casted in a helping role where people look to her for help/ direction and being on her own (i.e. independent) for so many years (yah, she felt that she couldn’t depend on her ex-boyfriend to fulfil his promises), my female owner was thankful that she could “sit back and relax” while the lead guitarist figured out the technicalities of the songs and modified the level of difficulty to suit her proficiency (the Chinese sometimes call this “eat snake” but she begs to differ, she is just allowing someone better to take the lead). She didn’t have to find a solution to any issues and left the “hard bits” for him to play. Even something as simple as tuning the guitar, my female owner felt so relieved that she could just hand it over to someone to do it for her. Ah, basking in the shadow of someone else’s talents.
Okies, this is the background. A while ago, she agreed to help out with playing music in her bible study group. They decided to start her off on guitar first, even though they needed keyboardists, because she was more familiar with guitar. However, because she played the instrument sporadically over the past ten years and was/ is in need of more consistent practice, the decision was made for her to play alongside a seasoned guitarist first. So that’s what they did last night. Two worship leaders, two guitarists and one extra guitarist (who happened to be in the house).
And you know my female owner. She enjoys playing music with people. Just adds to the synergy, she says.
For example, there was a slow song where the lead guitarist starting plucking the strings. On hearing that, my female owner switched from strumming to just using her pick to go down the strings gently. This resulted in a quiet and soothing mood. The two of them became so caught up with the music that they totally missed the worship leader’s hand signals to increase volume and finally, out of exasperation, she had to verbalise her instructions “go louder and strum!” Always fun to play differently but complementary (just like her flute and piano pieces).
And of course, working in a team with like-minded people who are forgiving and tolerant of her inadequacies was uplifting and inspiring. Correction was done in the spirit of love and pain (on the part of the guitarists mainly!) was endured willingly for the greater objective. In spite of time pressure, the session was marked with laughter, joy and energy. Even though my female owner had rehearsed for worship with other people in her younger days (think: more than 10 years ago), this was an eye-opening experience. She saw that her friends were not doing things as a matter of routine or mere practice. They were striving for excellence in the way they conceptualised the worship session, great attention to details and persistence in working out the stuck points, with the sole aim of leading the rest of the group into an intimate time of worship on Friday.
It was a refreshing change for my female owner as well.
Having been casted in a helping role where people look to her for help/ direction and being on her own (i.e. independent) for so many years (yah, she felt that she couldn’t depend on her ex-boyfriend to fulfil his promises), my female owner was thankful that she could “sit back and relax” while the lead guitarist figured out the technicalities of the songs and modified the level of difficulty to suit her proficiency (the Chinese sometimes call this “eat snake” but she begs to differ, she is just allowing someone better to take the lead). She didn’t have to find a solution to any issues and left the “hard bits” for him to play. Even something as simple as tuning the guitar, my female owner felt so relieved that she could just hand it over to someone to do it for her. Ah, basking in the shadow of someone else’s talents.
Monday, June 15, 2009
two
My female owner has been preoccupied with her coming examination and her chronically-depressive placement that she hadn’t had much time to think about other things. This afternoon, she decided to sneak in a short snooze (i.e. 5mins) before carrying on her revision. Just as her head hit her pillow, her memory suddenly reminded her that tomorrow is the 16th of June.
What’s that?
That’s the second anniversary of her break-up with ex number 2 aka the best thing that ever happened to her in recent history. Without realising it, two years had flown by.
She spent the first year reeling from the effects of the doomed relationship. The support from her friends was instrumental in accelerating her re-entry into singlehood. She embraced singlehood with vigour, glee and liberation. Half a year later, through God’s provision and grace, she ended up in Brisbane, pursuing her long-time dream of postgraduate education in psychology. Good Friday 2008, she received a revelation of God’s promise of healing from the relationship and that set her free. 16 June 2008, she set herself free from one year of mourning (not of the demise of the relationship, but of her stupidity).
And tomorrow concludes the second year of her singlehood. Over the past year, she has seen God’s slow but sure restoration and healing in this area of her life. She is “not there” yet. Occasionally, she still gets the urge to sprout some feminist comment but more often than not, she is able to hold back such unedifying comments.
My female owner reckons that although she is not sure if she is ready (psychologically, emotionally and spiritually) for a relationship, at the end of the day, she would prefer to get married and have a family, than to remain single. At the same time, even though her biological clock is running out of battery, my female owner would rather let it run out and be single, than to settle down for the sake of settling down with an incompatible man. Not worth the heartache! So yah, this area of her life is now in God’s hands.
What’s that?
That’s the second anniversary of her break-up with ex number 2 aka the best thing that ever happened to her in recent history. Without realising it, two years had flown by.
She spent the first year reeling from the effects of the doomed relationship. The support from her friends was instrumental in accelerating her re-entry into singlehood. She embraced singlehood with vigour, glee and liberation. Half a year later, through God’s provision and grace, she ended up in Brisbane, pursuing her long-time dream of postgraduate education in psychology. Good Friday 2008, she received a revelation of God’s promise of healing from the relationship and that set her free. 16 June 2008, she set herself free from one year of mourning (not of the demise of the relationship, but of her stupidity).
And tomorrow concludes the second year of her singlehood. Over the past year, she has seen God’s slow but sure restoration and healing in this area of her life. She is “not there” yet. Occasionally, she still gets the urge to sprout some feminist comment but more often than not, she is able to hold back such unedifying comments.
My female owner reckons that although she is not sure if she is ready (psychologically, emotionally and spiritually) for a relationship, at the end of the day, she would prefer to get married and have a family, than to remain single. At the same time, even though her biological clock is running out of battery, my female owner would rather let it run out and be single, than to settle down for the sake of settling down with an incompatible man. Not worth the heartache! So yah, this area of her life is now in God’s hands.
Hillsong Live - Desert Song (This Is Our God)
My female owner had always liked this song and the lady who led in it. However, this is the first time she heard the painful story behind this song. Knowing the story makes this song even more meaningful for my female owner.
volumes
My female owner remembered the first time she attended her new bible study group (the working group) in Feb this year. Before she got to the house, she was already distressed by the journey she had to make. It was a short bus ride to a nearby suburb, but the peak hour traffic jam was excruciating. Reaching the house, my female owner was overwhelmed by the number of new faces she saw, in comparison to familiar people.
My female owner remembered asking herself why she chose to leave the student group when the location for bible study was just a ten minutes walk away from her house.
Four months on, my female owner says that she is very happy with the working group. There is a mutual fit, in terms of the group meeting her needs and her contributing to the group.
Already, my female owner can see what she is going to miss if she leaves this group. Yes, for the first time since she arrived in Brisbane, my female owner is publicly admitting to developing a fondness for this current season in her life.
The awesome bible study meetings on Friday. It never fails to amaze her that there is nearly full or full attendance every week for bible study and church service. These people are so committed to their faith and their example encourages her to strive forward too. The environment is simply so nurturing for growth and development.
The yummy dinners prepared by the food team before each meeting. You won’t believe what the members are able to prepare – bak ku teh, home-made deep-fried wantons, curry chicken, green bean soup, mango pudding, cakes!! etc. With foods like this, who needs to go back home to have them?
The spontaneous hanging out sessions on Saturdays and public holidays, often to catch the latest movies, dine at affordable Asian eateries, indulge in DVDs on large plasma TVs and even hotpots. Just simple fellowship with no strings attached and no dodgy agenda.
And most recently, the weekly guitar lessons that someone organised, so that more musicians can be trained up in the group. Not to mention the flow of fellowship, food and fun that saturates each gathering.
I think more importantly, the friendships have blessed my female owner greatly. People are genuinely supportive, caring and encouraging. My female owner needed a guitar and someone lent her one before she could even ask around. After service, she wanted a muffin from outside the lecture theatre but she was too lazy to fight the cold and someone went to get it for her after she made a passing request (my female owner actually feels bad about this). My female owner was cold and someone took off his scarf to lend her. When she was not feeling well and sneezing countless times, someone went to get a cup of hot water so that she could clear her system. She is having exams and someone arranged for her to be sent home early after gatherings so that she could study.
Just small gestures like this. But they speak volumes into her heart. Coz for my female owner, action speaks louder than words and besides quality time, act of service is her next love language.
My female owner remembered asking herself why she chose to leave the student group when the location for bible study was just a ten minutes walk away from her house.
Four months on, my female owner says that she is very happy with the working group. There is a mutual fit, in terms of the group meeting her needs and her contributing to the group.
Already, my female owner can see what she is going to miss if she leaves this group. Yes, for the first time since she arrived in Brisbane, my female owner is publicly admitting to developing a fondness for this current season in her life.
The awesome bible study meetings on Friday. It never fails to amaze her that there is nearly full or full attendance every week for bible study and church service. These people are so committed to their faith and their example encourages her to strive forward too. The environment is simply so nurturing for growth and development.
The yummy dinners prepared by the food team before each meeting. You won’t believe what the members are able to prepare – bak ku teh, home-made deep-fried wantons, curry chicken, green bean soup, mango pudding, cakes!! etc. With foods like this, who needs to go back home to have them?
The spontaneous hanging out sessions on Saturdays and public holidays, often to catch the latest movies, dine at affordable Asian eateries, indulge in DVDs on large plasma TVs and even hotpots. Just simple fellowship with no strings attached and no dodgy agenda.
And most recently, the weekly guitar lessons that someone organised, so that more musicians can be trained up in the group. Not to mention the flow of fellowship, food and fun that saturates each gathering.
I think more importantly, the friendships have blessed my female owner greatly. People are genuinely supportive, caring and encouraging. My female owner needed a guitar and someone lent her one before she could even ask around. After service, she wanted a muffin from outside the lecture theatre but she was too lazy to fight the cold and someone went to get it for her after she made a passing request (my female owner actually feels bad about this). My female owner was cold and someone took off his scarf to lend her. When she was not feeling well and sneezing countless times, someone went to get a cup of hot water so that she could clear her system. She is having exams and someone arranged for her to be sent home early after gatherings so that she could study.
Just small gestures like this. But they speak volumes into her heart. Coz for my female owner, action speaks louder than words and besides quality time, act of service is her next love language.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
While I'm Waiting by John Waller (Fireproof)
A song from Fireproof which speaks a great deal to my female owner as she is currently waiting on God to move in various aspects of her life. God has already shown her that some things take time and this song is a good reminder of what she can do meanwhile..
Casting Crowns: Slow Fade (Fireproof)
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Fireproof
“How can you love somebody again and again and again when she keeps rejecting you?” cried a frustrated married man who had reluctantly agreed to take on a 40-day “The Love Dare” from his father, in a final attempt to save his marriage. The man had taken steps to demonstrate his love towards his estranged wife and each attempt was met with either hostility, indifference or rejection.
My female owner saw herself in this film, Fireproof. A sobering re-enactment of her relationship with God. Time and time again, she rejected God’s love. She has told Him that she does not trust Him fully or to stay away until she is ready. Time and time again, God still reached out to her. Tireless and steadfast. Faithful and patient. Love personified.
My female owner is starting to understand more about God’s love. Love, she realises, is not an emotion. It is a decision to demonstrate, through acts of kindness whether the person deserves it or reciprocates your efforts, your commitment to the person.
A very touching film.
The film also spoke to her in many ways.
Don’t follow your heart, coz it can be deceived. Instead, lead it.
Following your heart implies acting on your emotions. Emotions are fleeting. They fluctuate like the weather. People need something more definitive and sound to guide them in life. Acting on feelings and impulses is detrimental for the moral fabric of society (“I did it because I felt like it”). My female owner decided that she will use the word of God to lead her heart. And even when she doesn’t feel like it, she must take the effort to lead her heart in the right direction.
You cannot give what you don’t have.
The man was trying to love his wife with his own efforts and met with frustration when she did not reciprocate. His turning point came when he accepted Jesus, the ultimate source of love. Henceforth, he was able to demonstrate his love to his wife despite her icy responses. His acts of love started to come from the heart and he was able to give, without receiving anything in return. My female owner finally understood the verse, “We love, because He first loved us.”
God’s standards are so high. Hatred is considered murder and lust, adultery.
Thankfully, God made a way for everyone to be saved, through Jesus Christ. The film brought out the simple truth that people think that doing good deeds will bring them to heaven. That concept is based on their standards and interpretation of what doing good will bring for them. In reality, whatever good deeds we do will not earn us a place in heaven. Jesus, the only Man who met God’s standards, died for us so that by accepting Him, we receive salvation (and not earn it).
My female owner has always set high standards for herself and other people. She gets peeved with slipshod work and people who “talk big” (those who do not deliver what they promised). Today, she realised that because God has such high standards, whatever He promised He will do is surely going to be of excellent quality, amazing and mind-blowing. My female owner has imposed her negative experiences of man’s work onto God and has been insecure about whether God will deliver His promises “properly”.
One for the guys:
Women are like roses. Treat them right and they will bloom. Treat them wrong and they will wilt.
Selah.
My female owner saw herself in this film, Fireproof. A sobering re-enactment of her relationship with God. Time and time again, she rejected God’s love. She has told Him that she does not trust Him fully or to stay away until she is ready. Time and time again, God still reached out to her. Tireless and steadfast. Faithful and patient. Love personified.
My female owner is starting to understand more about God’s love. Love, she realises, is not an emotion. It is a decision to demonstrate, through acts of kindness whether the person deserves it or reciprocates your efforts, your commitment to the person.
A very touching film.
The film also spoke to her in many ways.
Don’t follow your heart, coz it can be deceived. Instead, lead it.
Following your heart implies acting on your emotions. Emotions are fleeting. They fluctuate like the weather. People need something more definitive and sound to guide them in life. Acting on feelings and impulses is detrimental for the moral fabric of society (“I did it because I felt like it”). My female owner decided that she will use the word of God to lead her heart. And even when she doesn’t feel like it, she must take the effort to lead her heart in the right direction.
You cannot give what you don’t have.
The man was trying to love his wife with his own efforts and met with frustration when she did not reciprocate. His turning point came when he accepted Jesus, the ultimate source of love. Henceforth, he was able to demonstrate his love to his wife despite her icy responses. His acts of love started to come from the heart and he was able to give, without receiving anything in return. My female owner finally understood the verse, “We love, because He first loved us.”
God’s standards are so high. Hatred is considered murder and lust, adultery.
Thankfully, God made a way for everyone to be saved, through Jesus Christ. The film brought out the simple truth that people think that doing good deeds will bring them to heaven. That concept is based on their standards and interpretation of what doing good will bring for them. In reality, whatever good deeds we do will not earn us a place in heaven. Jesus, the only Man who met God’s standards, died for us so that by accepting Him, we receive salvation (and not earn it).
My female owner has always set high standards for herself and other people. She gets peeved with slipshod work and people who “talk big” (those who do not deliver what they promised). Today, she realised that because God has such high standards, whatever He promised He will do is surely going to be of excellent quality, amazing and mind-blowing. My female owner has imposed her negative experiences of man’s work onto God and has been insecure about whether God will deliver His promises “properly”.
One for the guys:
Women are like roses. Treat them right and they will bloom. Treat them wrong and they will wilt.
Selah.
Live Worship @ CHC - God of my Forever
Verse 1:
God Of My Youth I Remember
Your Call On My Life Took Me O'er
Your Love Has Seen Me Through All My Days
I Stand Here By Your Grace
On This Altar I've Written My Life
Tells Of The Story I Have With You My Lord
I Want The World To Know
Chorus:
God Of My Forever
And Forever I'm With You
My Life Is Saved With A Price
Your Sacrifice Redeemed My Soul
God Of My Forever
And Forever I Will Sing
My Greatest Honor Will Always Be
To Serve My Lord And King
Verse 2:
God Of My All I've Surrendered
My Heart Finds Its Rest In Your Word
Praises Will Not Be Enough To Show
How My Love For You Has Grown
Nothing Matters When You're Here With Me
In The End Just To Hear You Say Well Done
Bowing Before Your Throne
Bridge:
Forever And Ever
Jesus You Alone In Glory Reign
Forever And Ever
With You I Walk This Narrow Way
God of my forever, 我永遠的救主
我年少時候的救主
因你呼召讓我不同
你愛陪我走過每一天
全充滿你恩典
刻下一切在這祭壇上
生命故事願世界能看見
与你一起向前
我永遠的救主
一輩子不離開
你因你付上了代價
贖回了我能為你而活
我永遠的救主
一輩子要歌唱
何等榮耀能全心擺上
服事我主我王
掌管我生命的救主
有你的話語心安息
所有讚美都已不足夠
表達我又多愛你
有祢同在我別無所求
只願意能聽見主祢對我說
祢何等喜悅我
從永遠到永遠
我主耶穌祢做王掌權
從永遠到永遠
我要緊跟隨不改變
Friday, June 12, 2009
cherry-picking
My female hasn’t had any counselling sessions for a long time. There was supposed to be one session last Friday but her Counsellor did not turn up. My female owner didn’t feel like asking her what happened and assumed that she had forgotten about it. Having been seeing her own clients, my female owner has always been on the side of waiting for people and chasing them up when they default/ cancel, so much so that she can’t bring herself to do the same thing as a counsellee.
And so, my female owner flitted along with life, with a nagging voice at the back of her mind about this issue. Yesterday, the voice manifested as an email from her ex-leader who wanted to know how things were going. My female owner typed off an email summarising her life over the past 1.5 months and ventilated about the dirty old man. She hasn’t gotten over the incident and her disgust with him actually escalated yesterday when he sat in for her group therapy and was highly disruptive.
Ex-leader replied with some of his thoughts about the way forward, a few of which are my female owner’s stuck points. So my female owner’s reply was “blah blah blah… not ready yet..slowly” or something along those lines. Before she slept, my female owner went youtubing on Pastor Prince (coz her neighbour had told her that the clip on humorous bible illustrations was so entertaining that she herself went around looking for more). Lo and behold, my female owner found, under the information section, a description for a sermon clip which was exactly what her ex-leader was telling her in the email (regarding satan and his ploys). Obviously she listened to it and tried to absorb the essence of the message.
Well well… time to stop cherry-picking the Bible and submit totally to God.
And so, my female owner flitted along with life, with a nagging voice at the back of her mind about this issue. Yesterday, the voice manifested as an email from her ex-leader who wanted to know how things were going. My female owner typed off an email summarising her life over the past 1.5 months and ventilated about the dirty old man. She hasn’t gotten over the incident and her disgust with him actually escalated yesterday when he sat in for her group therapy and was highly disruptive.
Ex-leader replied with some of his thoughts about the way forward, a few of which are my female owner’s stuck points. So my female owner’s reply was “blah blah blah… not ready yet..slowly” or something along those lines. Before she slept, my female owner went youtubing on Pastor Prince (coz her neighbour had told her that the clip on humorous bible illustrations was so entertaining that she herself went around looking for more). Lo and behold, my female owner found, under the information section, a description for a sermon clip which was exactly what her ex-leader was telling her in the email (regarding satan and his ploys). Obviously she listened to it and tried to absorb the essence of the message.
Well well… time to stop cherry-picking the Bible and submit totally to God.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
eroded
My female owner realised that she is traumatised by the OM (outrage of modesty; police speak) incident at the placement. She was back at her placement today and definitely queasy whenever she saw that dirty old man. Save for the cursory Aussie greetings (“hi, how are you?”), she avoided him like the plague.
She did a fabulous job of preventing herself from being in a compromised situation with him alone… until the end of the day. Read on to see Murphy’s law in action.
She had just left a resident’s room with the intention of leaving for the day, when of all people who could walk by, it was him. Seeing her, he asked for help…. with something in his room.
My female owner tensed up immediately. Her breathing quickened and she felt uneasy all over again. Reluctantly, she followed him to his room. He needed help in fixing up the board at the foot of his bed. My female owner fumbled her way through this unfamiliar task, being mindful not to turn her back towards him or to allow him to come too near. She was jittery and on high alert.
The board was fixed fairly easily and quickly. Wanting to make a quick escape, she realised to her horror that he was standing between her and the exit. Dirty old man extended his hand towards her. He wanted to shake her hand by way of saying thanks. Oh no. My female owner could just envision history repeating itself.
She hastily took his hand, shook it fast, said “I’ve got to go. See you.”, squeezed past him in the hope that he would not do anything with his hands. Thankfully he didn’t.
It didn’t matter that the offender was old and that his actions were not “invasive” as other forms of sexual harassment. The very fact that your personal space is violated and your sense of safety is eroded lowers the threshold for alarm bells to be set off. Darn the dirty old man.
She did a fabulous job of preventing herself from being in a compromised situation with him alone… until the end of the day. Read on to see Murphy’s law in action.
She had just left a resident’s room with the intention of leaving for the day, when of all people who could walk by, it was him. Seeing her, he asked for help…. with something in his room.
My female owner tensed up immediately. Her breathing quickened and she felt uneasy all over again. Reluctantly, she followed him to his room. He needed help in fixing up the board at the foot of his bed. My female owner fumbled her way through this unfamiliar task, being mindful not to turn her back towards him or to allow him to come too near. She was jittery and on high alert.
The board was fixed fairly easily and quickly. Wanting to make a quick escape, she realised to her horror that he was standing between her and the exit. Dirty old man extended his hand towards her. He wanted to shake her hand by way of saying thanks. Oh no. My female owner could just envision history repeating itself.
She hastily took his hand, shook it fast, said “I’ve got to go. See you.”, squeezed past him in the hope that he would not do anything with his hands. Thankfully he didn’t.
It didn’t matter that the offender was old and that his actions were not “invasive” as other forms of sexual harassment. The very fact that your personal space is violated and your sense of safety is eroded lowers the threshold for alarm bells to be set off. Darn the dirty old man.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Humorous Bible Illustrations
Who says church sermons can't be funnie? My female owner stumbled upon this as she was taking a short break from studying.. Brought back good memories of the times she visited this church in Singapore.
meals
My female owner always enjoyed one-to-one meals with people as it gives her an opportunity to get to the other person better and relate on a more personal level. Not surprisingly, different people elicit different responses from her.
My female owner met B for dinner last night. B is a fellow Singaporean friend who took care of her when she first came to Brisbane. They meet up for dinner once every few weeks. Although my female owner appreciates his friendship and kindness, she got bored quickly. As usual, B talked about how much he earns doing research and tutoring, statistics/ econometrics and Singapore drama serials/ artistes. Frivolous and/or out of her league. On a better day, he would talk about politics. Not really my female owner’s area of interest, but better than the other usual topics.
My female owner had a totally different experience with W whom she met for lunch today. W is a PhD psychology student. Due to their busy schedules, they meet for lunch once every few months. The lunch turned out to be more than a catch-up session. God was clearly involved in the conversation as it steered naturally from coursework and exam woes to how they need to choose to honour God even when they face pressure from others to conform to worldly standards in their training. The two of them started sharing testimonies of God’s relevance in their training and how some of the “scientific knowledge” of the field contradicts the Bible. Psychology, if not harnessed in the right spirit, can actually turn people (psychologists and clients) away from God. Christian psychologists are in a dangerous position because of the self-centred nature of the discipline and do need to be able to discern the Truth from deception.
My female owner went away, feeling more convicted of the need to meditate and apply the word of God in the different areas of her life. It is so easy to fall into the trap or routine of gathering knowledge, without testing it against what the Bible says. This conversation was spiritually stimulating for my female owner as it stirred up a fundamental issue that not many had been able to identify or engage with her.
So there, two different meal partners, with different outcomes.
My female owner met B for dinner last night. B is a fellow Singaporean friend who took care of her when she first came to Brisbane. They meet up for dinner once every few weeks. Although my female owner appreciates his friendship and kindness, she got bored quickly. As usual, B talked about how much he earns doing research and tutoring, statistics/ econometrics and Singapore drama serials/ artistes. Frivolous and/or out of her league. On a better day, he would talk about politics. Not really my female owner’s area of interest, but better than the other usual topics.
My female owner had a totally different experience with W whom she met for lunch today. W is a PhD psychology student. Due to their busy schedules, they meet for lunch once every few months. The lunch turned out to be more than a catch-up session. God was clearly involved in the conversation as it steered naturally from coursework and exam woes to how they need to choose to honour God even when they face pressure from others to conform to worldly standards in their training. The two of them started sharing testimonies of God’s relevance in their training and how some of the “scientific knowledge” of the field contradicts the Bible. Psychology, if not harnessed in the right spirit, can actually turn people (psychologists and clients) away from God. Christian psychologists are in a dangerous position because of the self-centred nature of the discipline and do need to be able to discern the Truth from deception.
My female owner went away, feeling more convicted of the need to meditate and apply the word of God in the different areas of her life. It is so easy to fall into the trap or routine of gathering knowledge, without testing it against what the Bible says. This conversation was spiritually stimulating for my female owner as it stirred up a fundamental issue that not many had been able to identify or engage with her.
So there, two different meal partners, with different outcomes.
Eternal Blossom - City Harvest Church
My female owner has been youtubing for non-English Christian songs. She stumbled upon this song, sang by Pastor Sun of City Harvest Church. The person who put up the video does not know Chinese, but added in her own translation, which adds to the charm of this song.
Monday, June 08, 2009
end
And so, semester 1 of 2009 ended last Friday, with the submission of her assignment on grief and loss. This semester has been wildly different from the previous two semesters. With only two modules, summarised by three assignments and one examination, my female took the chance to recuperate from the obscenely hectic schedule she had last year.
She stared off not liking the counselling module on domestic violence. Towards the end of the semester, my female owner grew to enjoy the module and to appreciate the lecturer’s style of teaching. Nonetheless, she still has issues with some of the smart alecks in the class who make unnecessary stupid comments. All in all, she doesn’t regret taking the course, as it has opened her eyes to a common but often silent phenomenon lurking in families.
Right now, my female owner is revising for her examination on clinical health psychology. A module which she has no complaints about. She enjoyed the course contents and hopes to do a placement in a hospital eventually.
The bane of the semester is still her placement at the aged care facility. It is not so much about working with old people that frustrates her. In fact, it has widened her horizons both personally and professionally. My female owner had always felt that she was stuck with this placement because she did not obey God’s prompting. Her first allocation was at Ipswich (about 1.5hr away from where she lived) at a disability service provider. For many reasons, my female owner finally decided to reject the placement even though she felt God saying to take it. A month later, she was offered another placement, working with children with trauma history. The arrangements didn’t work out and she ended up with the aged care placement with dodgy training arrangements, making her feel like an absolute guinea pig.
You can just imagine her mulling over the “if-onlys” and “I wonder”. One day, God told her that even though it seemed as if she got the placement out of “no choice”, He wanted her to know that He had arranged it and that He was still in control. My female owner hasn’t worked out the reasons for this placement and at times, she feels crossed about it. She reckons that one day, she will finally understand how this season of her life fits into the whole picture.
So there, three modules (including the placement) for Semester 1, almost completed. Technically, she is at about the half-way mark in fulfilling her dream… wow.
She stared off not liking the counselling module on domestic violence. Towards the end of the semester, my female owner grew to enjoy the module and to appreciate the lecturer’s style of teaching. Nonetheless, she still has issues with some of the smart alecks in the class who make unnecessary stupid comments. All in all, she doesn’t regret taking the course, as it has opened her eyes to a common but often silent phenomenon lurking in families.
Right now, my female owner is revising for her examination on clinical health psychology. A module which she has no complaints about. She enjoyed the course contents and hopes to do a placement in a hospital eventually.
The bane of the semester is still her placement at the aged care facility. It is not so much about working with old people that frustrates her. In fact, it has widened her horizons both personally and professionally. My female owner had always felt that she was stuck with this placement because she did not obey God’s prompting. Her first allocation was at Ipswich (about 1.5hr away from where she lived) at a disability service provider. For many reasons, my female owner finally decided to reject the placement even though she felt God saying to take it. A month later, she was offered another placement, working with children with trauma history. The arrangements didn’t work out and she ended up with the aged care placement with dodgy training arrangements, making her feel like an absolute guinea pig.
You can just imagine her mulling over the “if-onlys” and “I wonder”. One day, God told her that even though it seemed as if she got the placement out of “no choice”, He wanted her to know that He had arranged it and that He was still in control. My female owner hasn’t worked out the reasons for this placement and at times, she feels crossed about it. She reckons that one day, she will finally understand how this season of her life fits into the whole picture.
So there, three modules (including the placement) for Semester 1, almost completed. Technically, she is at about the half-way mark in fulfilling her dream… wow.
scroll
My female owner had an emo moment just now where she couldn’t sort out her thoughts and her feelings. She couldn’t figure out what exactly she was upset about and well, just started crying.
She calmed down after she stumbled upon a song on Youtube (The God I know). The lyrics took her focus off her volatile emotions to the steadfast nature of God. Yes, it is time she stopped being so inward-looking.
Anyway, after a long while, my female owner was able to put a finger to her earlier distress. For some reason, once again, she had felt alone (nothing actually happened). That same sense of aloneness she kept feeling years ago, when she scrolled down her mobile phone and couldn’t find anyone she would want to call to talk to in times of need. And perhaps, the only person would be her Onli Fren. Even then, my female owner hardly called her (if she ever did in the first place).
My female owner feels ridiculous for her outburst actually. Her bible study group has been such a tremendous blessing. She knows that there are people who will be willing to support her through emo moments. Yet, she also knows that she won’t approach them. She knows the problem lies with her, not them. She is not opening up to them beyond the social level. Yet, she finds such interactions meaningless after a while, in the absence of deeper, more intimate interactions.
I think my female owner became even more distressed when she realised that she is her own obstacle, that unless she removes whatever that is maintaining her aloofness, she will be struggling with this ambivalence.
She calmed down after she stumbled upon a song on Youtube (The God I know). The lyrics took her focus off her volatile emotions to the steadfast nature of God. Yes, it is time she stopped being so inward-looking.
Anyway, after a long while, my female owner was able to put a finger to her earlier distress. For some reason, once again, she had felt alone (nothing actually happened). That same sense of aloneness she kept feeling years ago, when she scrolled down her mobile phone and couldn’t find anyone she would want to call to talk to in times of need. And perhaps, the only person would be her Onli Fren. Even then, my female owner hardly called her (if she ever did in the first place).
My female owner feels ridiculous for her outburst actually. Her bible study group has been such a tremendous blessing. She knows that there are people who will be willing to support her through emo moments. Yet, she also knows that she won’t approach them. She knows the problem lies with her, not them. She is not opening up to them beyond the social level. Yet, she finds such interactions meaningless after a while, in the absence of deeper, more intimate interactions.
I think my female owner became even more distressed when she realised that she is her own obstacle, that unless she removes whatever that is maintaining her aloofness, she will be struggling with this ambivalence.
The God I Know (Live) City Harvest Church
When the stage is bare tonight
There’s no one else
Just You and me
When the curtains close behind
There’s no pretense
I’m on my knees
I will lay down my life
For the love sacrifice
You gave to me
It’s all because of You
All because of You
The God I know
Righteous and holy
The God I know
Faithful and true
The God I know
My tower of refuge
Hearts are healed
Christ revealed
The God I know
Light of the city
The God I know
Strengthens the weak
The God I know
Your heart beats within me
As You are
So are we
So are we
This is my cry
My one desire
More of You
More of You
The church He knows
Light of this city
The church He knows
Strengthens the weak
The church He knows
Is strong and mighty
As He is, so are we
Sunday, June 07, 2009
wholesome
Last night, my female owner’s bible study group friends told her that after church service today, they would be going for dinner then karaoke. My female owner was not so keen to join them for karaoke because she knew that they would stay out till late (2am?). While she normally enjoys hanging out late, she felt that she shouldn’t do it this time because of her upcoming exam. The group then told her to “study from 8am to 3pm on Sunday” so that she could stay out later at night.
Unconvinced, she said she might do that and then decide if she would give karaoke a go.
As it turns out, she got out of bed at 0900hr today (after snoozing for an hour). First sign of failure. Then she received an impromptu jio by I-Fren to pop over to his sister’s house to cook lunch together with two other friends (a male and a female). My female owner had such a experiential learning experience, just watching the two guys put together the yummiest meat bolognaise pasta she ever tasted (reportedly cooked with tonnes of TLC) and the gal concocting the most impromptu but delightful double choc chip muffins ever (no weighing scale or measuring cups involved). Just instinct?
The wholesome meal (yes, muffins are good for you) was topped off with anti-oxidating fruit juice and pinky Turkish Delight ice-cream…. And a short street-fighting Wii session. My female owner could not make head or tail of the game but well… she missed us, so she chose a turtle character and squeaked in delight when the turtle turned into a ball (she still likes round things).
What an eye-popping, mouth-watering gastronomical adventure! (Yah, she couldn’t really contribute much, so she gingerly helped to prepare the ingredients and did some washing).
Needless to say, my female owner’s half-hearted plan to study from 8 to 3pm didn’t work out and in a way, that made it easier for her to say no to dinner and karaoke at night (she didn't really want to go in the first place).
Unconvinced, she said she might do that and then decide if she would give karaoke a go.
As it turns out, she got out of bed at 0900hr today (after snoozing for an hour). First sign of failure. Then she received an impromptu jio by I-Fren to pop over to his sister’s house to cook lunch together with two other friends (a male and a female). My female owner had such a experiential learning experience, just watching the two guys put together the yummiest meat bolognaise pasta she ever tasted (reportedly cooked with tonnes of TLC) and the gal concocting the most impromptu but delightful double choc chip muffins ever (no weighing scale or measuring cups involved). Just instinct?
The wholesome meal (yes, muffins are good for you) was topped off with anti-oxidating fruit juice and pinky Turkish Delight ice-cream…. And a short street-fighting Wii session. My female owner could not make head or tail of the game but well… she missed us, so she chose a turtle character and squeaked in delight when the turtle turned into a ball (she still likes round things).
What an eye-popping, mouth-watering gastronomical adventure! (Yah, she couldn’t really contribute much, so she gingerly helped to prepare the ingredients and did some washing).
Needless to say, my female owner’s half-hearted plan to study from 8 to 3pm didn’t work out and in a way, that made it easier for her to say no to dinner and karaoke at night (she didn't really want to go in the first place).
Saturday, June 06, 2009
blessed
My female owner says that it never rains but pours. There are some Saturdays where she would spend the whole day at home because she has no social appointments and there are some Saturdays where she is totally “socialised”.
Today is one such Saturday. In fact, a Saturday where she felt extremely blessed and taken care of. Her first appointment was at 0930hr. She walked over to a church friend’s house for some informal guitar class. She was quickly showered with food (snacks, cookies, instant noodles, tea) and engaging conversations by the occupants of the house. Guitar class was fun, with four people learning from one another. One person (Mr Nice Guy) left just before lunch to get something from his house in a nearby unit. He never returned.
He later called to say that he cooked lunch for everyone, so could they go over in ten minutes? Wow! And he is the Mister Chef of the bible study group. Yummy fried rice and potato cakes. So the four of them had impromptu lunch, watching Running in Heels on his widescreen TV.
Blessed by the lunch, my female owner then left for a BBQ birthday lunch party (chicken wings and mushrooms!) at South Bank. The birthday gal was her ex-bible study group member from the student group. People came and went and eventually, there were about 11 people who remained. 10 of them were from the student group (before it split three ways). My female owner had a great time just catching up with them over random silly topics (chest hair and third nipples?!) and yummy food (mango pudding and brownies!). That session left her with a “meeting up with old friends” kind of feeling. Because of the rare opportunity of meeting them in a group setting, my female owner decided not to watch Terminator (around the same place) with her current bible study group members (working group).
After the party ended, she dutifully went home to study and even had a three-way MSN chat with her Onli Frens while she was studying.…. but not for long.
The movie had also ended and her current bible study group friends called her out for dinner. Because she needed transport to wherever they were going, one driver came to fetch her. The heartwarming thing was, the driver was not even going for dinner. So he made a detour just to bring her to the others before heading home. Mr Nice Guy who was also in the car had no intention of going for dinner. But because the driver didn’t know the way to the dinner venue, he decided to go along for dinner in order to direct the way.
Dinner was nice, with a cosy group of friends. And to top it off, dessert at Sunnybank! What a blessed day, full of fellowship and yummy (home-cooked) food.
Okay, I think it is really time for her to study now.
Today is one such Saturday. In fact, a Saturday where she felt extremely blessed and taken care of. Her first appointment was at 0930hr. She walked over to a church friend’s house for some informal guitar class. She was quickly showered with food (snacks, cookies, instant noodles, tea) and engaging conversations by the occupants of the house. Guitar class was fun, with four people learning from one another. One person (Mr Nice Guy) left just before lunch to get something from his house in a nearby unit. He never returned.
He later called to say that he cooked lunch for everyone, so could they go over in ten minutes? Wow! And he is the Mister Chef of the bible study group. Yummy fried rice and potato cakes. So the four of them had impromptu lunch, watching Running in Heels on his widescreen TV.
Blessed by the lunch, my female owner then left for a BBQ birthday lunch party (chicken wings and mushrooms!) at South Bank. The birthday gal was her ex-bible study group member from the student group. People came and went and eventually, there were about 11 people who remained. 10 of them were from the student group (before it split three ways). My female owner had a great time just catching up with them over random silly topics (chest hair and third nipples?!) and yummy food (mango pudding and brownies!). That session left her with a “meeting up with old friends” kind of feeling. Because of the rare opportunity of meeting them in a group setting, my female owner decided not to watch Terminator (around the same place) with her current bible study group members (working group).
After the party ended, she dutifully went home to study and even had a three-way MSN chat with her Onli Frens while she was studying.…. but not for long.
The movie had also ended and her current bible study group friends called her out for dinner. Because she needed transport to wherever they were going, one driver came to fetch her. The heartwarming thing was, the driver was not even going for dinner. So he made a detour just to bring her to the others before heading home. Mr Nice Guy who was also in the car had no intention of going for dinner. But because the driver didn’t know the way to the dinner venue, he decided to go along for dinner in order to direct the way.
Dinner was nice, with a cosy group of friends. And to top it off, dessert at Sunnybank! What a blessed day, full of fellowship and yummy (home-cooked) food.
Okay, I think it is really time for her to study now.
Friday, June 05, 2009
only
My female owner finally completed her final assignment for this semester. The deadline had been extremely generous – last day of the semester but in her usual “I need adrenaline” working style, she completed it on the day of submission.
In addition, she multi-tasked and had decent MSN conversations with four individuals while she worked at her assignment for six straight hours. One of the individuals was her Onli Fren, whom my female owner had not spoken to for ages. For certain Frens, ages mean “about a week”.
Through the long chat (no thanks to Onli Fren’s constant disappearance!), they realised that Onli Fren had forgotten how the term Onli Fren came about! How upsetting for my female owner who had real, emotional reasons for coming up with such a term. Onli Fren also got upset coz she felt that “Onli Fren not necessarily only friend”. Ah… someone’s jealous and insecure.
Anyway, to set the records straight, I’ve clarified how the term “Onli Fren” was birthed.
There was a period of time in my female owner’s life when she felt really down and out. However, when she looked through her handphone contact numbers and the friends she had in her life, she realised that there was ONLY one person whom she MIGHT call if she needed to talk to someone. Yes, only one person and that was Onli Fren.
There you go, short and sweet history.
My female owner knew that the reverse was not true. That Onli Fren had several other close friends whom she could turn to in times of need. For instance, Onli Fren had a best friend and other same cohort friends. But for my female owner, Onli Fren was really only friend then.
In addition, she multi-tasked and had decent MSN conversations with four individuals while she worked at her assignment for six straight hours. One of the individuals was her Onli Fren, whom my female owner had not spoken to for ages. For certain Frens, ages mean “about a week”.
Through the long chat (no thanks to Onli Fren’s constant disappearance!), they realised that Onli Fren had forgotten how the term Onli Fren came about! How upsetting for my female owner who had real, emotional reasons for coming up with such a term. Onli Fren also got upset coz she felt that “Onli Fren not necessarily only friend”. Ah… someone’s jealous and insecure.
Anyway, to set the records straight, I’ve clarified how the term “Onli Fren” was birthed.
There was a period of time in my female owner’s life when she felt really down and out. However, when she looked through her handphone contact numbers and the friends she had in her life, she realised that there was ONLY one person whom she MIGHT call if she needed to talk to someone. Yes, only one person and that was Onli Fren.
There you go, short and sweet history.
My female owner knew that the reverse was not true. That Onli Fren had several other close friends whom she could turn to in times of need. For instance, Onli Fren had a best friend and other same cohort friends. But for my female owner, Onli Fren was really only friend then.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
equilibrium
My female owner is ambivalent about whether her current placement is a bane or boom. Now that she has only 8 more days to work there… she can’t help but try to salvage the placement by focusing on the positive takeaways. Her newfound equilibrium was shaken today because of a dirty old man (W). Now, the CB-therapist would say that it is the interpretation of the situation that made her upset and not the situation itself. Well… I leave it to you to decide.
My female owner had always known W to be a little disinhibited with his words and actions (i.e. oozing with sexual innuendoes). Today, he was in pain due to his urinary tract infection. In a bid to distract him from the pain, my female owner decided to chat with him. W generally mumbles and half the time, people cannot really understand him. Anyway, through that short chat, he asked my female owner if she would come to bed with him that night!? Of course, she laughed it off. And later, she offered to get him a cushion for his back, he asked if he could lie on her. Just verbal teasing you might say.
My female owner then brought him back to his room. In his room, he put his arm around her waist when her back was facing him (he had previously tried to put his hand up her back, under her top). She almost wanted to aikido him and pin him to his bed. Her trauma didn’t end there. He tried to pull her towards him to hug her. Of course my female owner was strong enough to resist him and even overpower him. However, she was mindful of her strength and…. his feelings.
She ended up giving him a half-hug sort of thing. W persisted by refusing to let go of her hands. Oh my goodness… my shell is rattling even as I write this. My female owner tried to wriggle her way out. And W pulled her towards him again so that he could kiss her cheek-to-cheek. She had no choice but to reciprocate. Not to mention that he kept holding on to her hands even afterwards and she tried to move away tactfully.
My female owner didn’t really know what’s the best way to deal with such a situation actually. She just tried to escape as quickly as she could. She doesn’t even know if she’s warranted to sprout some hokkien vulgarities in the comfort of her own room. This man’s brain may be malfunctioning due to his age and multiple illnesses.
My female owner had always known W to be a little disinhibited with his words and actions (i.e. oozing with sexual innuendoes). Today, he was in pain due to his urinary tract infection. In a bid to distract him from the pain, my female owner decided to chat with him. W generally mumbles and half the time, people cannot really understand him. Anyway, through that short chat, he asked my female owner if she would come to bed with him that night!? Of course, she laughed it off. And later, she offered to get him a cushion for his back, he asked if he could lie on her. Just verbal teasing you might say.
My female owner then brought him back to his room. In his room, he put his arm around her waist when her back was facing him (he had previously tried to put his hand up her back, under her top). She almost wanted to aikido him and pin him to his bed. Her trauma didn’t end there. He tried to pull her towards him to hug her. Of course my female owner was strong enough to resist him and even overpower him. However, she was mindful of her strength and…. his feelings.
She ended up giving him a half-hug sort of thing. W persisted by refusing to let go of her hands. Oh my goodness… my shell is rattling even as I write this. My female owner tried to wriggle her way out. And W pulled her towards him again so that he could kiss her cheek-to-cheek. She had no choice but to reciprocate. Not to mention that he kept holding on to her hands even afterwards and she tried to move away tactfully.
My female owner didn’t really know what’s the best way to deal with such a situation actually. She just tried to escape as quickly as she could. She doesn’t even know if she’s warranted to sprout some hokkien vulgarities in the comfort of her own room. This man’s brain may be malfunctioning due to his age and multiple illnesses.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
ticket
My female owner has been missing Singapore recently. Having made the decision earlier this year not to return home in July (despite great offers by SIA), she is now emotionally processing (or regretting?) her decision.
If she had booked a ticket back, she would be able to say “I will be home next month!”. Right now, all she can say is, “six more months before I get home”. What a difference that would make for her morale! In fact, her ideal window of travel would be around 26 June till 12 July. But she only managed to work out this information today… by now, the fare is about AUD1100. By manipulating things however, she found a way to make a trip back for S$860..
Oh yah, that’s another thing. My female owner has been surfing the various airlines websites in the hope of getting cheap flights… It’s becoming an obsession I must say. She even thought of taking a cheap flight to KL and then grabbing a plane from KL to Singapore.
wish she is coming back... six months really sounds like a long time.. even to a long-life turtle..
If she had booked a ticket back, she would be able to say “I will be home next month!”. Right now, all she can say is, “six more months before I get home”. What a difference that would make for her morale! In fact, her ideal window of travel would be around 26 June till 12 July. But she only managed to work out this information today… by now, the fare is about AUD1100. By manipulating things however, she found a way to make a trip back for S$860..
Oh yah, that’s another thing. My female owner has been surfing the various airlines websites in the hope of getting cheap flights… It’s becoming an obsession I must say. She even thought of taking a cheap flight to KL and then grabbing a plane from KL to Singapore.
wish she is coming back... six months really sounds like a long time.. even to a long-life turtle..
Monday, June 01, 2009
serenity
Did you know that there is a second part to the all-famous Serenity Prayer? My female owner found that out today, when she was trying to construct a tip sheet for her elderly clients.
God grant me the serenity
Living one day at a time;
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely
happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen
Amen
16 months
My female owner has spent 16 months in Brisbane. This is exactly the same length of time she spent at her first full-time job as a health promotion executive.
Same length of time, but different experiences, memories and development.
One is her maiden job, throwing her into the intricacies of the “real world”. Though naïve about how to navigate office politics and boss manage, my female owner won the favour of her lady boss. She also quickly developed strong relationships with her immediate work team. Her only regret is that she is no longer in contact with any of them. My female owner left because the work was under stimulating (she could go on leave for a week and come back to find that she had nothing much to follow-up on) and she wanted to pursue a psychological career.
The other, an undeserved overseas education, exposed her to a richer spectrum and intensity of emotions and experiences than the entire 6.5 years of her second relationship put together. Her learning curves were steep, so steep that at times, she felt as if she was sliding backwards. Character development (or character confrontation if you will) was, and still is, the call of the day. I might have said this before, but I shall say it again. Brisbane has a calming effect on my female owner. It could the lifestyle, context or weather, but her neurotic emotions took a back seat.
Unlike her first job, my female owner cannot leave her studies after 16 months. Her programme takes three years to complete. That is exactly the same length of time she spent at her second job. Now, that would call for another comparison when the time comes. Suffice to say, three years at her second job went fast… but painfully, with lotsa tears, anger and bitterness. My female owner is determined not to allow history repeat itself.
Brisbane, a unique season of her life. Making it count.
Same length of time, but different experiences, memories and development.
One is her maiden job, throwing her into the intricacies of the “real world”. Though naïve about how to navigate office politics and boss manage, my female owner won the favour of her lady boss. She also quickly developed strong relationships with her immediate work team. Her only regret is that she is no longer in contact with any of them. My female owner left because the work was under stimulating (she could go on leave for a week and come back to find that she had nothing much to follow-up on) and she wanted to pursue a psychological career.
The other, an undeserved overseas education, exposed her to a richer spectrum and intensity of emotions and experiences than the entire 6.5 years of her second relationship put together. Her learning curves were steep, so steep that at times, she felt as if she was sliding backwards. Character development (or character confrontation if you will) was, and still is, the call of the day. I might have said this before, but I shall say it again. Brisbane has a calming effect on my female owner. It could the lifestyle, context or weather, but her neurotic emotions took a back seat.
Unlike her first job, my female owner cannot leave her studies after 16 months. Her programme takes three years to complete. That is exactly the same length of time she spent at her second job. Now, that would call for another comparison when the time comes. Suffice to say, three years at her second job went fast… but painfully, with lotsa tears, anger and bitterness. My female owner is determined not to allow history repeat itself.
Brisbane, a unique season of her life. Making it count.
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My siblings and I
From top left: Dodo, Dona, me (Nooki) and Nanook