My female owner received a revelation about her newly acquired binge-eating behaviour yesterday. God showed her that it was not the over-eating that was the problem per se, or that she’s getting weight and her clothes are getting tighter. It’s more about the function of the binge-eating that’s the problem.
You see, my female owner is one of those who will eat more when stressed. Going over to a foreign land, she has to cope with more than just stress – reversal of roles, new culture, new demands, unfamiliar surroundings, working within limited resources/ restrictions, mistakes to learn from etc etc.
Each time she feels agitated/ distressed/ disoriented, she would turn to food for comfort (probably the only constant in uncertainty – sure taste nice, and always there for her). She has been thinking of the different psychological techniques she knows and wondering which may help her overcome her binge-eating.
God then showed her that the way to stop her binge-eating is not to control her food intake through whatever techniques she knows, but to turn to Him when she feels agitated/ distressed/ distressed. For a few months, she had been turning to food as her first source of comfort. It’s time that she turns to Him first.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Saturday, May 03, 2008
three years on
Has it really been three years? Three years since my female owner first got bitten by the travelling bug and on impulse, went on a backpacking trip with two friends to, of all places, Melbourne, Australia. Yes, it has been three years. Three years ago, it was also her first time visiting Australia, a country which is now her temporary home.
There’s something about travelling with male friends that makes backpacking so enjoyable. At that time, Mr K was her long-time friend (also the male half of her Closest Couple Fren) while Mr L was her short-time acquaintance. Mr K was the “middleman” in the threesome.
Despite unfamiliarity and disorganization (they didn’t plan their trip, they just adopted Mr K’s sister’s travel itinerary as she went to Melbourne one week before them), they managed to pull off the last minute holiday with great fun, laughter and memories.
There’s something about travelling with male friends that makes backpacking so enjoyable. At that time, Mr K was her long-time friend (also the male half of her Closest Couple Fren) while Mr L was her short-time acquaintance. Mr K was the “middleman” in the threesome.
Despite unfamiliarity and disorganization (they didn’t plan their trip, they just adopted Mr K’s sister’s travel itinerary as she went to Melbourne one week before them), they managed to pull off the last minute holiday with great fun, laughter and memories.
Three years on, they still recount the Melbourne experience with fondness, and are forever trying to organize another trip to Australia.
Three years on, she's back to being a student, like how they were when they first got to know one another.
Three years on, they have bought houses and are getting married.
Three years on, my female owner wishes them and their partners, blissful marriages and life-time of happiness even as their respective wedding days approach.
What triggered this recollection was that my female owner just visited the Mr and Mrs L's wedding blog, and this brought her back to the Melbourne trip where she first got to know Mr L better. Being her, she spent some time looking through the photos, smiling at those memories.
She’s sorry that she can’t be with them during the most significant period of their lives. She would always treasure the good times they shared, playing badminton, dinners and suppers, durians at Seletar Dam, last minute movies. She remembers their graciousness towards her and knows that even as they are enter a different stage of their lives, their friendship will still remain an important part of her life.
round
We had some visitors today! My female owner’s paternal aunties and her niece (ie, grand daughter of one of the aunties). They haven’t seen her for three months and yes one of the first questions asked was “eh, you put on weight?”
With such a common reaction from people, my female owner has no choice but to accept reality. So her reply was “Of course lah! There are so many nice things to eat here.”
And the auntie added “your face is so round!” Oh well… round is also a shape. Perfect shape in fact. Wahaha. They say that owners will tend to look their pets after a while. I think my female owner is taking after me, with my overflowing cheeks and all.
My female owner has regressed to her undergraduate days where she was at her heaviest at more than 60kg. That was also the time when she was in the church’s dance ministry and one poor guy had to carry all 60+kg of her on his shoulders! In fact, they also had to spin together.
Perhaps it’s correlational: female owner in school ~ put on weight
The cold comfort is that some kind (and probably sympathetic) souls have been telling her that she would look better with more weight coz she had been too skinny. Actually, my female owner’s main concern is not that she has gained weight. It’s more that her clothes are getting tighter and that she may run out of clothes to wear if she continues her bingeing.
Ever heard of the saying “God, if you can’t make me thin, make all my friends fat.” My female owner is probably praying “God, if you can’t make me thin, make my clothes expand”.
With such a common reaction from people, my female owner has no choice but to accept reality. So her reply was “Of course lah! There are so many nice things to eat here.”
And the auntie added “your face is so round!” Oh well… round is also a shape. Perfect shape in fact. Wahaha. They say that owners will tend to look their pets after a while. I think my female owner is taking after me, with my overflowing cheeks and all.
My female owner has regressed to her undergraduate days where she was at her heaviest at more than 60kg. That was also the time when she was in the church’s dance ministry and one poor guy had to carry all 60+kg of her on his shoulders! In fact, they also had to spin together.
Perhaps it’s correlational: female owner in school ~ put on weight
The cold comfort is that some kind (and probably sympathetic) souls have been telling her that she would look better with more weight coz she had been too skinny. Actually, my female owner’s main concern is not that she has gained weight. It’s more that her clothes are getting tighter and that she may run out of clothes to wear if she continues her bingeing.
Ever heard of the saying “God, if you can’t make me thin, make all my friends fat.” My female owner is probably praying “God, if you can’t make me thin, make my clothes expand”.
bored
What do you do when you are bored? For me, today, I've decided to show you some photos of my siblings and I.
Dodo, protesting at his photo being taken.
Me, under my favourite spot ("the Trolley") See how the wheels are elevated? That's because Nanook and I grew too big to crawl underneath. So my dear female owner's mother found those plastic legs to elevate the Trolley.
This is "the Shoe Rack". A favourite chillout spot for my siblings (that's why I'm not here. I prefer to be by myself under "the Trolley")
This is me on top of Nanook. That's Dona behind us. Yah, I know, I have overflowing cheeks.
Dodo, protesting at his photo being taken.
Me, under my favourite spot ("the Trolley") See how the wheels are elevated? That's because Nanook and I grew too big to crawl underneath. So my dear female owner's mother found those plastic legs to elevate the Trolley. 
This is "the Shoe Rack". A favourite chillout spot for my siblings (that's why I'm not here. I prefer to be by myself under "the Trolley")
Friday, May 02, 2008
card
We received something from our female owner today! Well, not really us turtles, but my female owner’s mother. It was a Mother’s Day card! For some reason, Australian Post was really fast with the delivery. It apparently found its way here within the week. The same can’t be said for mails sent from Singapore to Australia. My female owner had to wait ages for her documents to be sent over.
I was also about to say that my female owner hardly writes any cards for her parents. In fact, the last time she did, she was probably still a child. Her parents, on the other hand, would give her birthday cards with some short personal messages on them.
My female owner used to receive them with apprehension. Coz you see, her parents didn’t approve of our owners’ relationship. So many years ago when they first started dating, her parents used to write long letters to her, expressing their disappointment and disapproval. She would come home to find letters on her bed or table. At night, one parent would knock at her door and spend the next hour talking AT her. Even the birthday cards used to have cryptic messages like “choose wisely”.
My female owner definitely caused her parents a lot of sleepless nights and grief during that turbulent period. It’s hard to really understand why my female owner chose to be with my male owner despite the opposition (if she didn’t do what she did, we won’t be here anyway). I don’t think my female owner can fully explain her decision even now.
It’s a pity that something so intimate like letter writing left her with such unpleasant memories. My female owner kept all the letters from her parents but never read the last few coz she was too tired to. The letters also stopped coming after a period of time. My female owner finally threw away the letters last year, when she was sure there was no turning back in the relationship. Oh well, that also meant she threw away all the letters and cards which my male owner gave her.
I was also about to say that my female owner hardly writes any cards for her parents. In fact, the last time she did, she was probably still a child. Her parents, on the other hand, would give her birthday cards with some short personal messages on them.
My female owner used to receive them with apprehension. Coz you see, her parents didn’t approve of our owners’ relationship. So many years ago when they first started dating, her parents used to write long letters to her, expressing their disappointment and disapproval. She would come home to find letters on her bed or table. At night, one parent would knock at her door and spend the next hour talking AT her. Even the birthday cards used to have cryptic messages like “choose wisely”.
My female owner definitely caused her parents a lot of sleepless nights and grief during that turbulent period. It’s hard to really understand why my female owner chose to be with my male owner despite the opposition (if she didn’t do what she did, we won’t be here anyway). I don’t think my female owner can fully explain her decision even now.
It’s a pity that something so intimate like letter writing left her with such unpleasant memories. My female owner kept all the letters from her parents but never read the last few coz she was too tired to. The letters also stopped coming after a period of time. My female owner finally threw away the letters last year, when she was sure there was no turning back in the relationship. Oh well, that also meant she threw away all the letters and cards which my male owner gave her.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
squabbles n gandhi
As always, my female owner feels happy whenever she catches up with friends she hasn’t spoken to for a long time. This afternoon, she did so with two people.
Mr Squabbles
An ex-colleague whom she got to know better only last year when they attended a crisis negotiation course together. Together with her Librarian Fren, they started attending church together (all of them had stopped going for different reasons) and somehow, managed to restart their Christian walk. The two of them used to squabble a lot, much to the amusement of her Librarian Fren. Hence the nickname.
Mr Squabbles was also the unfortunate guy fren who was around when my female owner fainted in the toilet. He had to lug her out and wait for her to regain consciousness (which my female owner, in spite of her unconsciousness state, heard all the things he said about her – you are so heavy! If you don’t wake up now, I will let you smell my socks. Beer is good, margarita is bad. Etc). So in a way, she owes her life to him.
Mr Squabbles is one of the few Christian friends whom my female owner shares her thoughts about God, her faith and spiritual struggles with. Although they don’t communicate very often, there is probably some kind of spiritual bonding between them that keeps the friendship going. The nice thing about today’s conversation was that Mr Squabbles ended by saying that he would keep my female owner in his prayers. That’s probably one of the most touching things he ever said to her (they always squabble, remember?).
Gandhi
Someone whom my female owner has known for more than 10 years. Never really close in the sense of spending a lot of time together, but always getting along well whenever they are together. He calls her Mother Theresa and she calls him Gandhi.
The strange affair started years ago when he was camping with some friends in church and the group of friends (which included Second Onli Fren) was hungry in the middle of the night. They called my female owner (who lived nearby) and asked if she had food. She offered to cook them noodles and gleefully, they popped over for their hot midnight snack. That was how the nicknames came about.
He was so funny. He came online and the first thing he said to my female owner after a super long absence was “sorry, I missed your party.” The party actually took place 3 months ago. He sounded as if he was living with the guilt of missing her farewell party for the past 3 months! But it’s really nice having Gandhi around, coz he’s so funny that he never fails to make my female owner laugh. Whatever that makes her happy, make us happy too.
Mr Squabbles
An ex-colleague whom she got to know better only last year when they attended a crisis negotiation course together. Together with her Librarian Fren, they started attending church together (all of them had stopped going for different reasons) and somehow, managed to restart their Christian walk. The two of them used to squabble a lot, much to the amusement of her Librarian Fren. Hence the nickname.
Mr Squabbles was also the unfortunate guy fren who was around when my female owner fainted in the toilet. He had to lug her out and wait for her to regain consciousness (which my female owner, in spite of her unconsciousness state, heard all the things he said about her – you are so heavy! If you don’t wake up now, I will let you smell my socks. Beer is good, margarita is bad. Etc). So in a way, she owes her life to him.
Mr Squabbles is one of the few Christian friends whom my female owner shares her thoughts about God, her faith and spiritual struggles with. Although they don’t communicate very often, there is probably some kind of spiritual bonding between them that keeps the friendship going. The nice thing about today’s conversation was that Mr Squabbles ended by saying that he would keep my female owner in his prayers. That’s probably one of the most touching things he ever said to her (they always squabble, remember?).
Gandhi
Someone whom my female owner has known for more than 10 years. Never really close in the sense of spending a lot of time together, but always getting along well whenever they are together. He calls her Mother Theresa and she calls him Gandhi.
The strange affair started years ago when he was camping with some friends in church and the group of friends (which included Second Onli Fren) was hungry in the middle of the night. They called my female owner (who lived nearby) and asked if she had food. She offered to cook them noodles and gleefully, they popped over for their hot midnight snack. That was how the nicknames came about.
He was so funny. He came online and the first thing he said to my female owner after a super long absence was “sorry, I missed your party.” The party actually took place 3 months ago. He sounded as if he was living with the guilt of missing her farewell party for the past 3 months! But it’s really nice having Gandhi around, coz he’s so funny that he never fails to make my female owner laugh. Whatever that makes her happy, make us happy too.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
ramblings
My female owner is easily distracted. She works all day but gets little done, because she would busy herself with peripheral things. Sometimes, she has so many things to complete, that she doesn't know where to start, that she doesn't start at all... and somehow, some of the things which she needs to do will fade in urgency and importance and she ends up not doing them. In some ways, she's like an adolescent, trying to find herself.
Some people call her scattered-brain. Actually she really has dulled senses - can't see clearly, can't hear properly, has selective memory, poor psychomotor coordination and low sense of safety. Hmmm... she always say that it's a miracle that she's still alive. My male owner used to comment that she has sleepy eyes and the only time her eyes come alive is when she is angry.
Not sure why I'm rambling on about my female owner.. maybe I'm just upset that she hasn't asked about us for a long time. grumble grumble grumble...
Some people call her scattered-brain. Actually she really has dulled senses - can't see clearly, can't hear properly, has selective memory, poor psychomotor coordination and low sense of safety. Hmmm... she always say that it's a miracle that she's still alive. My male owner used to comment that she has sleepy eyes and the only time her eyes come alive is when she is angry.
Not sure why I'm rambling on about my female owner.. maybe I'm just upset that she hasn't asked about us for a long time. grumble grumble grumble...
1/3 gone
My female owner says that at almost 6 years old (5 years and 9.5 months to be exact), I should be writing about more intellectual things and stop rambling about her obsession with aikido, food, us and endless gripes with the male population (with my male owner as the lead actor).
Oh well… she’s getting all high-and-mighty, now that she’s a postgrad student maybe? I shall stick to who I am, coz that’s how everyone knows me.
Anyway, time flies and 1/3 of 2008 is over. Traditionally, my female owner would spend some time reflecting on the things she has accomplished within the first 4 months of the year. Obviously this year has been a year of great change for her - leaving her comfort zone and diving head first into a new life (major role reversal from being a carefree working adult to a hardpressed-for-resources student) and into a new culture. Suddenly, what were once her areas of strengths, fade in light of the demands of her course. At the same time, her weaknesses are amplified through her unfamiliarity with the local system. She has to learn new things and unlearn old habits.
Maybe what doesn't kill you really makes you stronger.
My female owner would always remember her junior college days as being the most stressful period of her life. She could not cope with her studies and a dysfunctional relationship (try having a breakup at the eve of your preliminary examinations and your partner aceing the exam while you did badly!). At the same time, she was leading a bible study group, which although she did not do very much, except to spend a lot of time with the young girls and pray for them, the group grew greatly in number and spiritual maturity. (This can only be attributed to God's grace).
Anyway, the various struggles she was grappling with resulted in her being enveloped with depressive thoughts for a prolonged period and she just couldn't wait for the year to be over. Having survived those terrible years, my female owner now tells herself that if she can survive junior college, she can survive ANYTHING.
Even now, she is still struggling to find that balance (or homeostasis). There are daily hassles which she needs to see to (clients to call, rooms to book, notes to update, records to keep, essays to plan and write, role-play assessments to rehearse, disorders to read about, small talks to make, accents to try to imitate, meals to prepare, cold weather to get used to even! etc etc). No matter how hard she tries to plan, many things remain beyond her control and many decisions need to be made under uncertain circumstances. Slowly but surely, she is learning to trust God in all things. He brought her to Brisbane, He would show her the reasons why.
Oh well… she’s getting all high-and-mighty, now that she’s a postgrad student maybe? I shall stick to who I am, coz that’s how everyone knows me.
Anyway, time flies and 1/3 of 2008 is over. Traditionally, my female owner would spend some time reflecting on the things she has accomplished within the first 4 months of the year. Obviously this year has been a year of great change for her - leaving her comfort zone and diving head first into a new life (major role reversal from being a carefree working adult to a hardpressed-for-resources student) and into a new culture. Suddenly, what were once her areas of strengths, fade in light of the demands of her course. At the same time, her weaknesses are amplified through her unfamiliarity with the local system. She has to learn new things and unlearn old habits.
Maybe what doesn't kill you really makes you stronger.
My female owner would always remember her junior college days as being the most stressful period of her life. She could not cope with her studies and a dysfunctional relationship (try having a breakup at the eve of your preliminary examinations and your partner aceing the exam while you did badly!). At the same time, she was leading a bible study group, which although she did not do very much, except to spend a lot of time with the young girls and pray for them, the group grew greatly in number and spiritual maturity. (This can only be attributed to God's grace).
Anyway, the various struggles she was grappling with resulted in her being enveloped with depressive thoughts for a prolonged period and she just couldn't wait for the year to be over. Having survived those terrible years, my female owner now tells herself that if she can survive junior college, she can survive ANYTHING.
Even now, she is still struggling to find that balance (or homeostasis). There are daily hassles which she needs to see to (clients to call, rooms to book, notes to update, records to keep, essays to plan and write, role-play assessments to rehearse, disorders to read about, small talks to make, accents to try to imitate, meals to prepare, cold weather to get used to even! etc etc). No matter how hard she tries to plan, many things remain beyond her control and many decisions need to be made under uncertain circumstances. Slowly but surely, she is learning to trust God in all things. He brought her to Brisbane, He would show her the reasons why.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
exasperated
My female owner decided to attend aikido lesson yesterday at the spur of the moment. It must have been about a month since she attended her last lesson. She has been losing enthusiasm largely because of the time spent travelling to the dojo, especially on a Monday night (her busiest days are Mondays and Tuesdays).
Anyway, off she went, but first to pick up her aikido friend at his house. What was meant to be a 5 mins’ drive away, resulted in a 15 mins’ hunt for his house (in the next suburb). She took so long, he called her to find out if she was lost (haha. So insightful of him).
Well, class was not as fun as she hoped, coz there were some newcomers who slowed down the pace of the class. My female owner was particularly pissed with an ang-moh young lady, who had an extra-ordinarily large reaction when she performed a tight “nikyo” lock on her. If you don’t know what I mean, basically, that ang-moh couldn’t take the pain when my female owner performed the technique on her and kept instructing her afterwards on how the lock should be done (soft and painless).
My female owner was really annoyed at this. That’s not how aikido should be practised. The execution should be precise and tight enough for the opponent to feel the effect. If you want something soft, try taiqi or something. In addition, my female owner has a reputation of choosing to be gentle so much so that people would want to partner her for certain techniques (knowing very well that she would not be rough with them). No wonder she felt insulted (especially since that lady seems like a junior belt).
There were a couple of other strange characters in the class which made training trying. So that added to my female owner’s exasperation. To top it off, her instructor spoke to her at the end of the class regarding membership fees, and said that “actually, I thought that you would be coming more often.” My female owner would have gone for more lessons if she could! Duh. (she's grouchy eh)
There’s no place like your home dojo…
Anyway, off she went, but first to pick up her aikido friend at his house. What was meant to be a 5 mins’ drive away, resulted in a 15 mins’ hunt for his house (in the next suburb). She took so long, he called her to find out if she was lost (haha. So insightful of him).
Well, class was not as fun as she hoped, coz there were some newcomers who slowed down the pace of the class. My female owner was particularly pissed with an ang-moh young lady, who had an extra-ordinarily large reaction when she performed a tight “nikyo” lock on her. If you don’t know what I mean, basically, that ang-moh couldn’t take the pain when my female owner performed the technique on her and kept instructing her afterwards on how the lock should be done (soft and painless).
My female owner was really annoyed at this. That’s not how aikido should be practised. The execution should be precise and tight enough for the opponent to feel the effect. If you want something soft, try taiqi or something. In addition, my female owner has a reputation of choosing to be gentle so much so that people would want to partner her for certain techniques (knowing very well that she would not be rough with them). No wonder she felt insulted (especially since that lady seems like a junior belt).
There were a couple of other strange characters in the class which made training trying. So that added to my female owner’s exasperation. To top it off, her instructor spoke to her at the end of the class regarding membership fees, and said that “actually, I thought that you would be coming more often.” My female owner would have gone for more lessons if she could! Duh. (she's grouchy eh)
There’s no place like your home dojo…
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Second Onli Fren
Been such a long time since my female owner chatted with her Second Onli Fren. The last time must have been more than a month ago, when my female owner needed her to help her settle her Singapore credit card bill.
Did you know that her Second Onli Fren was the one who bought her my brothers, Nana, Dona and Dodo? And that they were named after the two gals (like they used part of their names to form the names of my brothers). Second Onli Fren bought my brothers at the spur of the moment, complete with a round tank that comes with a bridge and coconut trees. She lived to regret it, when she realised how big they grew... coz we would always run towards her when we see her in the Balcony and she would be scared out of her wits. There's something about us that scares her... I wonder what. Without Second Onli Fren, there won't be Nanook and me. Coz my male owner bought us, as a way of getting closer to my female owner (you know, the concept of sharing similar interests?).
Although it has been more than a month since my female owner and Second Onli Fren last spoke, its one of those relationships that never loses its intimacy or bonding despite the long silence.
According to what I know, the friendship started about 10 years old, when they were both leaders serving in the youth ministry (but just acquaintances - not close at all). My female owner was feeling very discouraged about some church thing and believe it or not, God told Second Onli Fren to write a letter to my female owner. Second Onli Fren wrote a song for her too. That letter was life-changing for my female owner in many ways.
With a friendship built on God's love, it is no wonder that they become close friends so fast... and for so long! 10 years of friendship, with uncountable hours of companionship.. stayovers at each other's houses, diving trips, camping trips, travelling, late night chats at the sea, motorcycle rides, suppers, jogging even (before going for supper!), frog leg porridge, bridge sessions, praying together, leadership camps, bubble-teas, taidi, maybe one drinking to drunk session (over guys as usual, AGAB), watching DVDs, cooking sessions, playing pool, spontanteous meet-ups (just as long as both are available), making Christmas presents together, erm.. skipping church together too. The list goes on... Haha.
Yeah, and I remember now! Second Onli Fren said that she wanted to pick up the flute, so my female agreed to learn with her. She missed the first lesson, and quitted after the second! Now, her actions were the source of our 3-yr agony with my female owner's flute playing! Ah, looks like our lives are intertwined with Second Onli Fren too.
The difference one person makes to your life.
Did you know that her Second Onli Fren was the one who bought her my brothers, Nana, Dona and Dodo? And that they were named after the two gals (like they used part of their names to form the names of my brothers). Second Onli Fren bought my brothers at the spur of the moment, complete with a round tank that comes with a bridge and coconut trees. She lived to regret it, when she realised how big they grew... coz we would always run towards her when we see her in the Balcony and she would be scared out of her wits. There's something about us that scares her... I wonder what. Without Second Onli Fren, there won't be Nanook and me. Coz my male owner bought us, as a way of getting closer to my female owner (you know, the concept of sharing similar interests?).
Although it has been more than a month since my female owner and Second Onli Fren last spoke, its one of those relationships that never loses its intimacy or bonding despite the long silence.
According to what I know, the friendship started about 10 years old, when they were both leaders serving in the youth ministry (but just acquaintances - not close at all). My female owner was feeling very discouraged about some church thing and believe it or not, God told Second Onli Fren to write a letter to my female owner. Second Onli Fren wrote a song for her too. That letter was life-changing for my female owner in many ways.
With a friendship built on God's love, it is no wonder that they become close friends so fast... and for so long! 10 years of friendship, with uncountable hours of companionship.. stayovers at each other's houses, diving trips, camping trips, travelling, late night chats at the sea, motorcycle rides, suppers, jogging even (before going for supper!), frog leg porridge, bridge sessions, praying together, leadership camps, bubble-teas, taidi, maybe one drinking to drunk session (over guys as usual, AGAB), watching DVDs, cooking sessions, playing pool, spontanteous meet-ups (just as long as both are available), making Christmas presents together, erm.. skipping church together too. The list goes on... Haha.
Yeah, and I remember now! Second Onli Fren said that she wanted to pick up the flute, so my female agreed to learn with her. She missed the first lesson, and quitted after the second! Now, her actions were the source of our 3-yr agony with my female owner's flute playing! Ah, looks like our lives are intertwined with Second Onli Fren too.
The difference one person makes to your life.
cookie
Guess what's in this bag?
It's a bag of home-baked chocolate chip cookies! The cookies kinda got crushed on the way to church...
In case you still don't know, chocolate chip cookies are my female owner's current obsession. According to her, these cookies are super yummy, and oozing with love. Ooooh... For those who are wondering, it was a gal who baked it for her (tsk tsk. I know what's on your mind.)
Here's one that managed to stay relatively intact and round... 
Imagine the smell of the chocolate chip cookie as you hold it in your hand and bring it close to your mouth. The sweet aroma of its freshness and the strong fragrance of cocoa enveloping you as you bite into the cookie. Ooooh... feel the cookie crumble in your mouth as you chew on it. So soft and so soothing to your soul. Ahhh... Closing your eyes, you take another bite of the cookie, relishing in the fact that you have a bagful to go...
How's that for an attempt to come up with a passage for imagery relaxation (usually the text is about walking on the beach or squeezin a lemon)?
Anyway, what happened was that during bible study night, the leader split the group into pairs and asked each dyad to share with her partner what makes her feel loved. (Some people later said they felt loved when they get hugs, a smile or letters.) My female owner shared that her love language was acts of service, so her partner (knowing her obsession) decided to bake some chocolate chip cookies for her. Her partner said that she loves surprises, so my female owner thought of something surprising to give her.
Although the pair kinda said that they would exchange their acts of love at the next bible study night (ie next Friday), two days later (today), they gave each other their gift of love! So fast!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
fight
My female owner woke up from a mini nightmare yesterday. When I heard about it, I froze with fear for quite a while. That's why I haven't been writing.
My female owner dreamt of me. No, it's not that I'm scary okay. In her dream, my face was swollen, with streaks of dried blood. My eyes were puffy to the point that I could not open them. It was as though I got beaten up in a gang fight.
Don't ask me why she had such a dream. I'm an angel at home. I don't get into squabbles with any of my siblings (they usually leave me alone) AND besides, we are so peace-loving, we don't fight with one another like how humans do.
I only hope that her nightmare won't come true.
My female owner dreamt of me. No, it's not that I'm scary okay. In her dream, my face was swollen, with streaks of dried blood. My eyes were puffy to the point that I could not open them. It was as though I got beaten up in a gang fight.
Don't ask me why she had such a dream. I'm an angel at home. I don't get into squabbles with any of my siblings (they usually leave me alone) AND besides, we are so peace-loving, we don't fight with one another like how humans do.
I only hope that her nightmare won't come true.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
dress sense
After three months of causal wear, my female owner finally donned on an office outfit today… to see her first client (ironically after office hours). She had a nagging fear that she would not be able to fit into her pants, having been munching on snacks for whole of this year but somehow, she managed to trick her fats into moving to other parts of her body. Anyway, the all familiar feeling of dressing for work and pretending to be professional is not something which she particularly misses.
My female owner always had issues with female colleagues who come to work as if they work in a nightclub, or out to seduce men. From short mid-thigh skirts, to plunging necklines, to cutesy pink polka-dot prints, to translucent see-through tops to dresses with big ribbons (that makes the wearer look like a walking present), she has seen them all. To add to that, heavy thick make-up that will create a fog if you slap the person’s face, multi-colours for the cheeks and eye-shadows that scream “I am a traffic light”, to loud, shiny accessories that make you wonder if Christmas is round the corner.
Yet, in spite of such wardrobe malfunction, there would be one or two misinformed wannabes who would imitate the terrible fashion, adding to her distress.
Thankfully, her coursemates have down-to-earth professional dress sense.
My female owner always had issues with female colleagues who come to work as if they work in a nightclub, or out to seduce men. From short mid-thigh skirts, to plunging necklines, to cutesy pink polka-dot prints, to translucent see-through tops to dresses with big ribbons (that makes the wearer look like a walking present), she has seen them all. To add to that, heavy thick make-up that will create a fog if you slap the person’s face, multi-colours for the cheeks and eye-shadows that scream “I am a traffic light”, to loud, shiny accessories that make you wonder if Christmas is round the corner.
Yet, in spite of such wardrobe malfunction, there would be one or two misinformed wannabes who would imitate the terrible fashion, adding to her distress.
Thankfully, her coursemates have down-to-earth professional dress sense.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
suan me
My female owner has a "suan me" face. She gets teased by her friends wherever she goes (the main culprit at the moment would be her ex-colleagues). Her "suan me" face extends to her own family.
She MSN-ed home today and her father asked her how things were. She replied that she's been busy with work... and her father replied with a loud laugh: "who asked you to choose such a tough course? hahahahahaha"
Poor female owner! My shell almost cracked (not with laugher, but with empathy) when I heard that.
She MSN-ed home today and her father asked her how things were. She replied that she's been busy with work... and her father replied with a loud laugh: "who asked you to choose such a tough course? hahahahahaha"
Poor female owner! My shell almost cracked (not with laugher, but with empathy) when I heard that.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
recipe
My female owner never believed in following recipes (which explains why she can't cook many dishes). There are many reasons for this. Firstly, she doesn't trust recipes which are NOT recommended by anyone (issue of trust). Secondly, because the recipes are not proven to be good, she does not want to subject anyone to potentially bad cooking (issue of responsibility). Thirdly, she never saw the need to learn to cook (issue of need). My male owner was famously fussy about food. He eats mainly egg, cucumber and rice. No red meat, no other form of vegetables, chicken is ok only if there are no bones, no spicy food (or chilli). While eating out, he usually eats roast chicken rice, Hawaiian pizza or sushi (with very selected fillings). Once in a while, he would compromise on tofu and bean sprouts (we turtles definitely take after him in this aspect!).
Finally, the strongest reason is that she grew up in an environment where her mother did not refer to recipes when cooking - everything was in her head (issue of upbringing). I can testify to that. From steamed chicken rice to laksa to pig trotters' soup to curry chicken to claypot rice... everything was recipe-free. (No, her mother never cooked turtle soup!)
Well, yesterday, my female owner undertook the module "Following a Recipe" 101 with her Intuitive Fren as tutor. Around dinner time, IF spied a suspicious looking bottle of shrimp fry paste (known as bagoong in the Illocano language) which had been sitting in her kitchen for weeks (her housemate won the shrimp paste during a church game). Since nobody in the house knew how to use it and is unlikely to use it, IF decided to use it to cook dinner. Acting on his spontaneous decision, he looked up the internet and managed to locate a recipe which required that paste.
My female owner was quite doubtful about using the paste, coz it smelt like turtle food to her. IF didn’t help matters coz he said it smelt like goldfish food. The paste was apparently pungent and pink. Following the recipe and modifying it somewhat, the end result (according to my female owner) was a surprisingly yummy and hearty dish of beef/ tomatoes/long beans/ eggplants/ onions/ garlic in shrimp fry paste (unfortunately, they didn’t take any photos of the dish). The dish had an explosion of taste – sour, sweet and salty – coupled with the natural flavouring of the heap of beef they used.
This was the first Filipino dish that my female owner ever saw created before her eyes and, which tasted yummy… the last time she went Philippines with her friends (potahto included), they didn’t manage to lay hands on any yummy Filipino food..
So besides having a proper dinner, my female owner learnt that there's nothing scary about using randon recipes (they cooked so much that they even had time to mull over how they could further improve on the taste). Maybe her housemates can now look forward to more interesting dishes when it's her turn to cook dinner. Other dishes, rather than the usual stir-fried vegetables in oyster sauce and stir-fried meat doused with cheat sauce.
Monday, April 21, 2008
vision
The year my female owner entered junior college (when she was "18++++"-"+++++" years old), her principal had the vision of building up the school's choir to make one of the best in the country (and perhaps internationally?) . Then, it was in a sorry state of affairs. The principal wasted no resources in engaging one of the best conductors in the nation to train the choir. As for my female owner, she got conned into joining the choir because her friend wanted to join (the friend quitted soon after, but my female owner stayed on).
The principal moved on to other postings a few years later, but her aspirations and investments probably stayed, coz years later "18++++"-"+++++"+"+++......", the school made headlines in the local news, for winning international competitions.
The vision and goals of a leader... It really looked impossible then.
_________________________________
Two schools emerge winners in international choral competition
Channel NewsAsia - Monday, April 21
SINGAPORE: Some students have gone international with their co—curricular activities and have returned with trophies to show for it.
Jet lag and cold weather did not affect the spirit of students from Anderson Junior College who were in Italy last month for the 10th Concorso Corale Internazionale — an international choral competition.
The choir, comprising 61 students and 14 alumni members, emerged as the overall winner, beating 33 teams from 13 countries.
Anderson JC has previously won other awards in competitions in Prague, China and Malaysia.
Catholic High School also participated in the same competition and took home the trophy in the Mixed Youth Choir category.
Evidently delighted, the students said the experience is even more important than the win.
The principal moved on to other postings a few years later, but her aspirations and investments probably stayed, coz years later "18++++"-"+++++"+"+++......", the school made headlines in the local news, for winning international competitions.
The vision and goals of a leader... It really looked impossible then.
_________________________________
Two schools emerge winners in international choral competition
Channel NewsAsia - Monday, April 21
SINGAPORE: Some students have gone international with their co—curricular activities and have returned with trophies to show for it.
Jet lag and cold weather did not affect the spirit of students from Anderson Junior College who were in Italy last month for the 10th Concorso Corale Internazionale — an international choral competition.
The choir, comprising 61 students and 14 alumni members, emerged as the overall winner, beating 33 teams from 13 countries.
Anderson JC has previously won other awards in competitions in Prague, China and Malaysia.
Catholic High School also participated in the same competition and took home the trophy in the Mixed Youth Choir category.
Evidently delighted, the students said the experience is even more important than the win.
age
My female owner realised something yesterday while she sat in the row behind the girls in her bible study group during church service. It hit her that probably ALL the girls are younger than the all-gals bible study group she used to lead in Singapore. No wonder sometimes she feels like a “mother hen” (although she doesn’t behave like one, I hope!). Everyone’s getting younger, she’s getting older.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
social phobia
My female owner had a random moment today, that led to an eye-opening experience.
She was heading towards her lift lobby when she noticed a Caucasian hurrying towards it. Being the typical shy Singaporean, she hoped that the guy would be gone by the time she reached the lift lobby.
Alas, he was still there when she reached the lift lobby. (The building she lives in has 10 storeys and that means, only 20 units, so it’s a really small community and people usually greet one another).
Mr C: “Hi, how are you?”
FO: “Good”
And finally remembering to return the greeting for probably the first time in her stay at Brisbane, FO continues “And how are you?”
Mr C: “Good. Hey, you know what? I’m trying to fix up a BBQ later in the evening. Why don’t you come down later and join in?”
The time was about 4.30pm then. My female owner was stunned coz she hates being thrown in a new social situation where she doesn’t know anyone. However, not one to give untrue excuses (like “thanks but I’ve got an appointment later”), she mustered a weak “ok”.
Mr C went on to talk about other things and sealed that 2-min encounter with “So come on down at 7pm later”
Almost instantly, my female owner felt a great sense of regret for (in chronological order)
i) Not walking slower to the lift lobby (which would mean she would have avoided him).
ii) Saying” And how are you?” – a greeting that probably opened Mr C for a conversation
iii) Not declining the invitation
Being a “professional psychologist in training”, she knows that avoidant behaviour is the worst way to overcome a fear, coz avoiding simply negatively reinforces the person to remain fearful. Also, knowing that she will definitely have to help anxious, social phobics overcome their fear of new social situations, she mulled over whether
i) It’s ok NOT to go, even though she did muster a weak “ok”
ii) She should go, just to challenge her personal social phobic genes.
After consulting some of her church friends (whom she had dinner with) and discussing how to ease into the party, she decided to go.. despite not knowing Mr C’s real name and not being sure if she would even recognise him, given her lousy facial recognition abilities. (The only thing she knows is his apartment number.)
Nervously, she stepped out of her apartment, 15 mins after 7pm and waited for the lift. Lo and behold, when the lift door opened, Mr C was in the lift. Wahaha. So coincidental. He was on the way to his apartment to get some glasses and brought her down to the BBQ area and introduced her to the group.
So there you have it, my female owner, immersed herself into one of her greatest fears and dislikes head-on. Being the only Asian in a big group of Westerners, she had to act quickly to fit in. AND it wasn’t as difficult or nerve-wrecking as she thought it would be. She managed to maintain conversations with people from Germany, USA, Russia, South Korea (the only other Asian, who popped into the party later), Australia (of course!) and Scotland. Cool.
Oh yah, and she found out the name of Mr C.
[Mr C later made himself known to everyone in the building, coz one of the attendees got drunk and in anger, kicked the glass panel leading to the lift lobby with her boot. The glass panel cracked from the impact and Mr C left a note on the door to apologise to the residents. He now runs the risk of being evicted from the apartment.]
She was heading towards her lift lobby when she noticed a Caucasian hurrying towards it. Being the typical shy Singaporean, she hoped that the guy would be gone by the time she reached the lift lobby.
Alas, he was still there when she reached the lift lobby. (The building she lives in has 10 storeys and that means, only 20 units, so it’s a really small community and people usually greet one another).
Mr C: “Hi, how are you?”
FO: “Good”
And finally remembering to return the greeting for probably the first time in her stay at Brisbane, FO continues “And how are you?”
Mr C: “Good. Hey, you know what? I’m trying to fix up a BBQ later in the evening. Why don’t you come down later and join in?”
The time was about 4.30pm then. My female owner was stunned coz she hates being thrown in a new social situation where she doesn’t know anyone. However, not one to give untrue excuses (like “thanks but I’ve got an appointment later”), she mustered a weak “ok”.
Mr C went on to talk about other things and sealed that 2-min encounter with “So come on down at 7pm later”
Almost instantly, my female owner felt a great sense of regret for (in chronological order)
i) Not walking slower to the lift lobby (which would mean she would have avoided him).
ii) Saying” And how are you?” – a greeting that probably opened Mr C for a conversation
iii) Not declining the invitation
Being a “professional psychologist in training”, she knows that avoidant behaviour is the worst way to overcome a fear, coz avoiding simply negatively reinforces the person to remain fearful. Also, knowing that she will definitely have to help anxious, social phobics overcome their fear of new social situations, she mulled over whether
i) It’s ok NOT to go, even though she did muster a weak “ok”
ii) She should go, just to challenge her personal social phobic genes.
After consulting some of her church friends (whom she had dinner with) and discussing how to ease into the party, she decided to go.. despite not knowing Mr C’s real name and not being sure if she would even recognise him, given her lousy facial recognition abilities. (The only thing she knows is his apartment number.)
Nervously, she stepped out of her apartment, 15 mins after 7pm and waited for the lift. Lo and behold, when the lift door opened, Mr C was in the lift. Wahaha. So coincidental. He was on the way to his apartment to get some glasses and brought her down to the BBQ area and introduced her to the group.
So there you have it, my female owner, immersed herself into one of her greatest fears and dislikes head-on. Being the only Asian in a big group of Westerners, she had to act quickly to fit in. AND it wasn’t as difficult or nerve-wrecking as she thought it would be. She managed to maintain conversations with people from Germany, USA, Russia, South Korea (the only other Asian, who popped into the party later), Australia (of course!) and Scotland. Cool.
Oh yah, and she found out the name of Mr C.
[Mr C later made himself known to everyone in the building, coz one of the attendees got drunk and in anger, kicked the glass panel leading to the lift lobby with her boot. The glass panel cracked from the impact and Mr C left a note on the door to apologise to the residents. He now runs the risk of being evicted from the apartment.]
Friday, April 18, 2008
prayer
My female owner had a wonderful experience in school today, even though she had to sit for yet another role-play assessment. Before going for her assessment, she spent some time with the person whom she shared the assessment kit with (also a fellow church-mate) in a small room, going through the procedure for test administration.
At the end, the both of them unanimously decided to commit the assessment, and the course they are taking, to God in prayer. It also helped to refine the motivation behind her choice of study to include a broader perspective. Personally, I think it's really cool to be able to pray with someone who's in the same situation as you (maybe I can get my siblings to do something like that). I'm sure that opportunity (which was divinely created, no doubt) lifted my female owner's spirits and gave her more confidence for the challenges ahead.
At the end, the both of them unanimously decided to commit the assessment, and the course they are taking, to God in prayer. It also helped to refine the motivation behind her choice of study to include a broader perspective. Personally, I think it's really cool to be able to pray with someone who's in the same situation as you (maybe I can get my siblings to do something like that). I'm sure that opportunity (which was divinely created, no doubt) lifted my female owner's spirits and gave her more confidence for the challenges ahead.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
trauma
This is not for the faint-hearted..
On the day my female owner abandoned us for her studies (note the bitterness in my choice of words, we are still sore about it), she asked her mother to trim our nails. Some of our nails have been growing really long and they impede the ease of our movements, by their mere existence. Her mother had trimmed Dona's nails before, so she's our in-house manicurist/ pedicurist.
I think it must be an emotional day coz my female owner's mother "miscued" many times, and the Balcony ended up looking like a murder scene..
This is me, not looking any better...
...because I was left with bleeding toe-nails.
This was Nanook's nails, before being trimmed. Note the length and the way the nails are growing.
On the day my female owner abandoned us for her studies (note the bitterness in my choice of words, we are still sore about it), she asked her mother to trim our nails. Some of our nails have been growing really long and they impede the ease of our movements, by their mere existence. Her mother had trimmed Dona's nails before, so she's our in-house manicurist/ pedicurist.
I think it must be an emotional day coz my female owner's mother "miscued" many times, and the Balcony ended up looking like a murder scene..
Dodo, after the ordeal. See his nails? And his dull expression? That's how a traumatised turtle looks like.
This is me, not looking any better......because I was left with bleeding toe-nails.This was Nanook's nails, before being trimmed. Note the length and the way the nails are growing.This is the aftermath of the trim. Notice the blood spots - the incision was too deep. 
Whatever that my female owner's mother managed to trim off. My female owner kept screaming, as she held us in her hands. I'm not sure what scared us more, being manhandled by her mother and her, or hearing her scream.
Whatever that my female owner's mother managed to trim off. My female owner kept screaming, as she held us in her hands. I'm not sure what scared us more, being manhandled by her mother and her, or hearing her scream.The murder scene. I can tell you that none of us were happy after that. We were already feeling lousy that our female owner was going away. We had to deal with physical AND emotional pain. 
Us resting. That's Nanook on top of Dodo. My brothers are brooding, backside facing the world. I'm not in the picture. 
Us resting. That's Nanook on top of Dodo. My brothers are brooding, backside facing the world. I'm not in the picture.
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My siblings and I
From top left: Dodo, Dona, me (Nooki) and Nanook