greek

My female owner had a strange night. Fated Guy asked her if she was free for dinner but she had made plans to check out the Greek Festival near the city. She invited him to join her friends and her, but not really expecting him to come since it was so random (I mean, she probably won’t agree to go if it was her). But he did join her in the end. In addition, she had another group of church friends who was at the Greek Festival and whom she really wanted to catch up with. However, the atmosphere was noisy, crowded and dark, making conversations difficult and people started to scatter. My female owner ended up spending most of her time with Fated Guy as she had invited him to come along and hence, felt responsible for him. Although she was happy to do that, she felt sorry that she was not being able to catch up with the other group of friends, and even for not being with the first group of friends.

Looks like you can’t really mix your friends together, not in such an open setting anyway. Despite this, my female owner said that she had great fun trying out different Greek foods and watching Greek dances. And the Greek beer came in handy too. A nice way to spend a Saturday night, she said.

bus

Think of transport in Brisbane and many people would groan at how lousy the transport system is. Unreliable, infrequent services, much better off driving most would say. My female owner, however, is quite impressed with some aspects of the bus system in Brisbane (note, bus only).

Firstly, they have dedicated lanes for buses. It is not like in Singapore, where bus lanes are sometimes invaded by other vehicles. These dedicate bus lanes are built just for buses and they run across the highways too.

Also, the infrastructure of major bus stops and many buses adhere to the principles of universal design. Hence, they cater to a wider range of patrons – the visually-impaired, hearing-impaired and people with mobility issues all benefit from different features installed to make travelling easily, creating a more inclusive society. Even the needs of parents with prams/ passengers with luggage are addressed, with ramps and fold-up chairs on buses which create the needed extra space.

Many bus-stops (not the major ones) also have electronic updates of estimated time of arrivals of buses. My female owner thought this was impressive simply because in Singapore, only busy stops get such electronic updates (no discrimination in other words).

In addition, with the exception of a few weirdos, the service provided by the bus captains has been professional and excellence. They wait for you to board the bus (and don’t drive off just as you are reaching the bus), greet you with smiles and pleasantries, drive safely and try their best to help you.

Of course, there are some things which my female owner thinks can be improved. Say, bus schedules can be better planned. Sometimes, the scheduled bus doesn’t turn up at all, leading to unnecessary stress. And the infrequent running of buses (especially over the weekends and school holidays) takes a toll on her travelling plans. But overall, she thinks that the bus system in Brisbane is commendable (although she would still prefer to have a car).

one week

Been exactly a week since my female owner left.

She is trying to make better (not full, coz she is still trying to get into the right momentum) use of the fact that she came back earlier than she should have and do things that would help ease her re-entry into Brisbane.

She moved rooms and feels more settled in the secluded corner of the house. To add to the roomy atmosphere, she also invested in a warm light and a bedside table.

She attended the farewell party for some bible study friends, went back to church and attended the prayer meeting.

She met up with her new clinical supervisor, emailed her research supervisor on matters and settled several administrative issues such as getting a new certificate of enrolment (in order to reapply for another student visa), renewing insurance, Blue Card, bank records etc.

Her housemate hosted a laksa party with a small group of friends and she had great fun with the random mix of people. She also had an impromptu supper at her friends’ new house in the southside. Super nice house, she says.

She also practised her guitar and surprise surprise, her long-abandoned flute! In a bid to be less anti-social, she had lunch with an acquaintance and they ended up talking about music and instruments. Inspired, my female owner looked up some possible music activities she could participate in.

Oh well... since past behaviour predicts future behaviour, slowly but surely, she will get into the swing of things.

planning

My female owner described the feeling of returning to her house in Brisbane as similar to someone who suffered a traumatic brain injury, spent some months recuperating in hospital, and returning home to find things vaguely familiar. That’s the difference she says, between Singapore and Brisbane. Returning to Singapore is as if she never left. Going back to Brisbane is as if she entered a different timezone, where she needs time to adjust and maybe, self-convincing that things will turn out ok.

Given these pro-Singapore-ambivalent-Brisbane feelings, I can’t help but wonder why she cried so hard when she decided that she should take on the offer (which means saying bye to Brisbane for good). What caused the emo-ness then? I think she is just mixed-up inside.

Anyway, now that she has oozed into Brisbane life for three days and done some brainless things, my female owner is finally ready to embark on some rudimentary planning for 2010. At the very least, she intends to set some goals, do some budgeting and accounting.

Quick do, its almost the end of Jan!!

3rd house

Long overdued photos of my female owner's current house in Brisbane. She lives in Sunnybank, which is 30mins away by train to the city and 30mins away by bus to her school. She is mins away from good (mostly authentic) Asian food.

The street she lives on... wide roads with lotsa greens

Entrance to her house, pretty white gates
Her front porch, with some dying flowers...

Her messy but bare room...

Play shelf of her imaginary friends?

The huge living room, never fails to make her feel nua and lazy

The well-equipped kitchen

Kitchen, taken from the other perspective, with a dining area to host parties

And the backyard to hang her laundry

Backyard, taken from another perspective, where my female owner had plans to grow some fruits and vegetables..

unplanned

Even after my female owner finished hosting her Singaporean friends, she remained occupied with other random highly impromptu social events.

It started with a planned lunch date with Therapist Fren on Wednesday. They hadn’t been meeting due to their busy schedules and my female owner’s move to the south. Before the lunch date even started, my female owner saw I-Fren at the cafeteria and he joined them impromptuly. Finally, the two of them (Therapist and I-Fren) meet each other, after hearing about each other for so long. The lunch date extended for 3.5hrs (it merged into afternoon coffee), no thanks to him taking the liberty to expose many of her dark secrets to Therapist Fren. Overall, it was a highly hilarious and cheek-aching session, a much needed break for her greatly stressed friend.

Thursday. A jio to go to Mr Nice Guy's house to help craft a watermelon fruit salad for a birthday celebration… which morphed into a home-cooked dinner by him (the icing on the cake was that he came to pick her up from her workplace). It ended up with the foursome (female owner's new housemate and her guitar teacher were also there) playing Truth or Dare. Unfortunately for my female owner, she was forced to reveal her age! Must have been a moral victory for her friends who had been trying all ways and means to find out her real age.

Friday was equally impromptu, with a jio from her jogging buddies, just after her work ends (perfect timing) to have ice-cream together. Happily, this was also an answer to her lazy prayer of “God, I pray that someone will pick me up from work so that I don’t have to walk so far (30mins at least) to bible study”. From jogging next to the river to gorging on ice-cream (think: two big tubs between three people) next to the river. How exciting.

Friday night, there was an impromptu decision to play guitar together with a few others after bible study. Alas, my female owner was no longer staying a stone’s throw away from the house. Although Mr Nice Guy offered to send her home afterwards, she decided to go home with others so that he didn’t have to make a special trip just for her. The downside of moving to the south: less mobility.

A very last minute confirmation made in the early hours of Saturday to go hiking follows. Once again, my female owner enjoyed herself tremendously. They hiked through a valley and through two waterfalls. Took nice photos (but not with her camera, so I can’t show you anything yet).

And an impromptu invitation by I-Fren to a Tom Yum cum Wii dinner party at his house completed her Saturday. Again, his culinary skills were impressive, with him doing a Tom Yum Goong from scratch (note: no paste involved), a ginger chicken dish (yummy!) and an eggplant dish. He never fails to make cooking look easy. Because of transportation limitations, she did a stayover at his house. She was joined by two mutual friends who decided at the end of the party that they were not ready to go home. Ah, whims and fancies. They ended up playing more Wii.

Sunday started off lazy. My female owner and her friends (including one of her jogging buddies who is staying temporarily at I-Fren’s house) took a (long) stroll to the nearby park. My female owner, who earlier had issues with the house dog but are now on cordial terms with her, requested to walk the dog (she never walked a dog before. Wait, I think she did. Second Onli Fren’s dog? Oh, but that was just because SOF happened to bring her dog to the dog run). Such a random experience. At certain points, she felt that she was being trained to walk a dog. Oh, she had to clean up the dog’s poo too. Even though my female owner is used to cleaning up after us, this must have been a humongous (literally) in comparison. *grinz*

Although my female owner decided not to join her church friends’ for dinner (coz she wanted time-out from the week’s activities), she was swayed by the pleading eyes of Mr Nice Guy who said “go for dinner lah… or else no one going…” Oh well.. she is notoriously soft-hearted. She went, thinking that there would be only 6 people going. Ended up there were 11 people split over 2 tables (other people just randomly appeared). She ended up (reluctantly) at the table with two strangers (Korean guys who were visiting), in addition to Mr Nice Guy and her Housemate. You would know by now that my female owner hates socialising with new people. However, she is aware that this is not the way to go, especially if she wants to be an ambassador of God’s love. Hence, she decided to make the effort to talk to the guys (she really don’t have much choice actually, but credit to her, she put in much more effort than before).

She didn’t regret it. Despite the bad English and arduous efforts needed to ensure that there was no breakdown in communication and understanding, she could tell that the guys connected with her. Their Korean antics were consistent to Korean movies, naturally funny facial expressions and oh… the language. Like a nightingale’s song to her ears. Okay, I’m exaggerating! There were a few clincher moments in their conversation which tickled everyone. Like how they discussed the answer (in Korean) to 2009-23years old (to get the year of birth of her Housemate) and still came up with the wrong answer three times (err… 1988? Accompanied with a greatly confused and distressed look). And when, one of them treaded dangerous waters to ask for my female owner’s age. Bad English and limited social understanding resulted in him thinking that she was really 20 years old (18++). Fortunately, the other guy got the joke and no one suffered a needless heart attack.

Ah, after such an unplanned week (as Potahto says, impromptu is the best schedule), my female owner crashed out on Sunday night… with the intentions of having some Metime.

day

My female owner made plans to celebrate her first Saturday of post coursework completion, without any specific idea, except that she would celebrate it with another student church friend and start the day with jogging. She ended up having the most relaxing and soothing Saturday in Brisbane in ages. In fact, the day felt (for the first time in a long time) like a typical Saturday in Singapore.

The day started early at 0830 – jogging with a new group of kakis. Two guys and two gals. This was much easier than her usual jogging routine because the other gal was the weakest link, so the rest paced her.

Plans to visit Rocklea Market (to get cheap and good mangoes, e.g. 12 for $10) were substituted with yum cha brunch. The foursome indulged in a leisurely meal, talking about random topics and people-watching. Laughing and sharing. My female owner's cup of tea.

Aimless, they decided to spin down to Brisbane City for bubble tea. Little things along the way set them into pits of laughter. They unanimously agreed that they had never laughed this way in their previous bible study group. Bubble tea was a sit down affair and they browsed through a heap of magazines. So Singapore!

A short exploration of the City and window shopping followed. An activity that my female owner seldom had the luxury of time to indulge in.

By then, it was time for them to go home to prepare for their individual evening appointments. My female owner had a Halloween Party to attend. She wasn’t too keen to go because she didn’t like the thought of having to dress up in costumes. However, the draw of her friends made it impossible to say no.

And yes, she had heaps of fun. The hosts put in great effort to spice up their house with spooky décor and gore-themed food (she says to look at her facebook for photos). Once again, her male friends put her to shame, with their attention to details, creativity, wide-ranging culinary skills and warm hospitality. Unexpectedly, she realised that it was fun dressing up too. Simply a new experience for my female owner.

My female owner would have like to make it for another house gathering but her Halloween party ended too late. Nonetheless, she felt so blessed by the entire day’s events. A day well-spent she says.

first

My female owner had another run away weekend. Three weekends ago, she stayed over at SOF/SOF’B house. Two weekends ago, she did a SOF/SOF’B + Noosa Heads getaway. Last weekend, she stayed over at I-Fren’s house. Hmm.. didn’t realise how much she had been away, until now.

The sleepover at I-Fren’s started innocuously, with a simple aim of learning to pitch a tent. Unbeknownst to her, it morphed into a full weekend of experiential learning and many firsts. It started off with a dinner hosted by his mum on Friday night. My female owner rarely sits at a table, having a family-type dinner, especially with the conversation centred on direction in life/God. No wonder she was struck dumb. She also never spoken to any parent at such great lengths. Back in Singapore, it was always her friends who came to her house and wound up chatting with her mother.

Then, exposure therapy to her fear of dogs. It was either she stayed in the car for the night to avoid the dog or come out and be uncomfortable. She was forced, literally, held by the hand, to stand (trembling) in the dark and allow the dog to sniff her. She was then forced to pat the dog on the head. What horrors!

Saturday came and they picked up I-Fren’s friend (who was visiting from Melbourne) at the Gold Coast before heading to Lamington National Park for a hike. Her first time at the acclaimed place, south of Gold Coast. The drive up to Lamington was therapeutic and calming, especially when compared to the driving she had to do in Tasmania. For once, she could enjoy the sights, cows and wind as they went into the mountains and farms.

The initial plan was to do a 5-6km hike. It morphed into a 12.7km hike. Not that my female owner had any issues, coz she loves hiking (with ungirly people). What she didn’t expect was that the Melbourne friend (whom I-Fren hosted till Sunday evening) was a mega big camwhore. The trio ended up spending heaps of time posing with nature. From hanging off tree branches, to sitting on them like a swing, to crawling into a cave, and standing on rocks, to squeezing into tree trunks and checking out bums… they did them all.

And unexpectedly but gleefully, half-way in the hike, my female owner managed to turn the table on I-Fren and got him to do some rudimentary exposure therapy at the edge of the cliff, all in the name of confronting his fear of heights. Evil her.

The last 5km was unexpectedly difficult for my female owner. She started to slow down and to tail behind the guys. Her foot was developing a blister and she could feel quite painfully, the uneven terrain beneath her shoes. Nonetheless, walking through that long stretch of track alone, praying and humming worship tunes, my female owner had a spiritual conviction that this is how she wants to lead her life, always worshipping and praying even if times are hard and lonely.

Plan for the night was to make Ondeh-ondeh. Another first! Both I-Fren and her were clueless about what it meant to “cook tapioca flour until transparent” but nonetheless did their best to follow the recipe. Instead of getting green balls, they ended up with paddle-pop looking balls, no thanks to green, red and yellow food colouring. So cute!!! Another unexpected exposure therapy happened when my female owner was asked to light the stove with a match-stick and she had no choice but to confess that she can’t light a match-stick…. out of fear. I-Fren could not contain his surprise. His eyes widened so much, my female owner knew she was in trouble. She ended up having to practise lighting matches…. with him holding on to the box. Oh well… uncompleted therapy.

Sunday came. The original plan was to pitch a tent, remember? Well, it never materialised, because they went to attend a bridge opening. Another first! Yes, the Kurilpa Bridge, which links South Bank to the City across the Brisbane River was opened to the public that morning. An impromptu jio expanded the trio to five persons. They ended up lunching together in the city… and taking a walk to the Botanical Gardens…. Which was another first for my female owner. Yes, after 1.5years in Brisbane, she finally made it to the Botanical Gardens…. And discovered that there was actually a bridge (Good Will Bridge) that linked the Garden to South Bank.

And for the first time in her life, she climbed up a tree. Well, not exactly. She was pulled up by her friends. But it was fun for her, as she sat up in the tree, looking at things around her. Hmm, she could have stayed there the whole day. She also found clusters of bamboo in the Garden which she immediately gravitated towards. Bamboo! She adores them.

The day of sight-seeing (remember, they were actually hosting I-Fren’s friend) ended back at South Bank as they explored the landscaping and man-made beach. My female owner didn’t realise how tired she was, until she woke up from an 11-hr sleep this morning.

Yes, thanks to the two guys, she has heaps of photos... which she is too lazy to show me! One day, she says.

wholesome

Last night, my female owner’s bible study group friends told her that after church service today, they would be going for dinner then karaoke. My female owner was not so keen to join them for karaoke because she knew that they would stay out till late (2am?). While she normally enjoys hanging out late, she felt that she shouldn’t do it this time because of her upcoming exam. The group then told her to “study from 8am to 3pm on Sunday” so that she could stay out later at night.

Unconvinced, she said she might do that and then decide if she would give karaoke a go.

As it turns out, she got out of bed at 0900hr today (after snoozing for an hour). First sign of failure. Then she received an impromptu jio by I-Fren to pop over to his sister’s house to cook lunch together with two other friends (a male and a female). My female owner had such a experiential learning experience, just watching the two guys put together the yummiest meat bolognaise pasta she ever tasted (reportedly cooked with tonnes of TLC) and the gal concocting the most impromptu but delightful double choc chip muffins ever (no weighing scale or measuring cups involved). Just instinct?

The wholesome meal (yes, muffins are good for you) was topped off with anti-oxidating fruit juice and pinky Turkish Delight ice-cream…. And a short street-fighting Wii session. My female owner could not make head or tail of the game but well… she missed us, so she chose a turtle character and squeaked in delight when the turtle turned into a ball (she still likes round things).

What an eye-popping, mouth-watering gastronomical adventure! (Yah, she couldn’t really contribute much, so she gingerly helped to prepare the ingredients and did some washing).

Needless to say, my female owner’s half-hearted plan to study from 8 to 3pm didn’t work out and in a way, that made it easier for her to say no to dinner and karaoke at night (she didn't really want to go in the first place).

miss

My female owner has been largely missing coz she is spending less time on MSN. Finally!!! A conviction she finally put into action. That means also that, I have less opportunity to get updates from her, and hence, the lower frequency of entries..

Anyway, my female owner made a startling discovery when she was chatting with her bible study group members on Friday. A few of them (all Asians) mentioned that while they were in Melbourne (for the convention), they started to miss Brisbane, coz Brisbane was their home. They missed their beds, their rooms, personal belongings and cars.

Brisbane was home?! How could you feel at home in a country that is not yours? Until now, my female owner still feels like an alien in Brisbane. Like Brisbane, Melbourne was just like another holiday destination for her. When my female owner is back in Singapore, she completely pushes Brisbane to the back of her mind and hardly contacts anyone from Brisbane. On the contrary, one guy said that when he returns to his home country, he would sms people in Brisbane to ask them what they are doing. ??

Her friends assured her that she would start to see Brisbane as home, as time passes. Err… how long would that take? My female owner dreads the day when she starts to feel at home in Brisbane, only to have to return to Singapore. See? She is full of anticipatory anxiety!

For all you know, she might never return to Singapore permanently. *glup* then what about us turtles??

drive

My female owner says that some things can only happen when you live in a university suburb with many church friends.

Today, she had dinner at a friend’s house in neighbouring Toowong. Dinner was good. Food yummy. Company flawless. Wholesome activities (UNO and movie) stretched till 2300hr.

Late and car-less, her two friends and her (who lived near one another in St Lucia) decided to walk home rather than to wait for the dodgy bus. Walking home would take about 30mins, at my female owner’s brisk-walking speed and she would need to negotiate about 10mins on her own.

Wondering if any driver-friends would happen to drive past, my female owner decided to strategise and asked one of her friends to walk in front. Her rationale was that her friend knew more people and thus, would have a higher chance of being recognised by passing cars.

Lo and behold, a church friend did drive past the trio but he was unable to stop then. The driver probably did a u-turn, coz he waited for them up ahead at the infamous Toowong bus stop. The gals gladly accepted the lift home and good thing they did, coz it started to drizzle 30secs after they entered the car.

Another instance of divine intervention!

update

And so, it has been a month since my female owner went off to pursue her Dream. Before my female owner left, her Functional Fren reminded her to bring over the ten Care Bears he gave her, and came up with a story that each Bear represented one month of being away (she is expected to return in December). My female owner breathed a sign of relief that she can finally “take away” one Bear. Suddenly the remaining months seem manageable. After all, a baby is formed in nine months too.

It’s time to do some accounting and figure out what she has done over this past month. My female owner’s over-arching goal in 2009 is to make this year count. She always said that she did not live in Brisbane last year. Rather, she lived only in St Lucia, with the occasional trip out to Toowong, the neighbouring suburb or the City.

Importantly, my female owner found a nice cosy place to stay. In doing so, she probably improved on her Mandarin vocabulary as she now knows what are the Mandarin terms for bell peppers and pressure cooker. My female owner mused at how she changed over the years. On her first day of work (in 2004) at her previous office, she told herself that “wow! I don’t mind working here until the end of my working life.” In addition, she was very commited to her previous relationship which lasted 6.5 years, despite parental objections and familial pressures to end the relationship. However, when Male Housemate asked her recently if she would continue to stay with them beyond one year, my female owner hesitated to commit herself. Is this the natural tendency of a swinging bachelorette?

Still abstaining from her choc chip cookies comfort food (thumbs up for that!), my female owner suspects that she has gained about 1.5kg since returning. Oh no, really a cyclical issue for her. On a related note, my female owner has recently started her healthy living plan and has kinda stuck to it for one week, since she actually did exercised three times last week. Applause please!

In terms of spending more time with friends, my female owner is happy to report that she has invested time and energy in this area, whether it’s meeting her Singaporean comrades for impromptu dinners, fellowshipping with her church friends or going on road trips around Brisbane.

Church has been good. Despite the initial awkwardness my female owner, now she feels more at home with her new bible study group. Perhaps because they are slightly older or because they are in the workforce, my female owner prefers the way they interact with one another, as compared to the student group.

School has kinda come to a standstill, given that the major load, her externship, is still not settled after 1.5 months! Enough said about this, lest my female owner turns emo.

Internet connection is still NOT up. If you see my female owner online these days, it is either she is in school or using her friend’s mobile access. As what one of her Singaporean Comrades said, my female owner has extensive “social capital” (a new term my female owner learnt!). A random griping in someone’s car about her need for internet access led to her friend offering her the mobile access to tide her over, for as long as she needs. In another instance, a random sharing with her Aussie coursemate about her maybe needing to interview someone who has experienced a recent loss for a course assignment led the coursemate to offer my female owner her own mother who lost her mother recently. Now, that is social capital.

Financially, my female owner is feeling stretched as she has been going out for meals with different people. With each meal costing at least $10 and she having a weekly budget of $280 (including essentials like rent, electricity, transport, mobile etc), no wonder she needs to rethink how to live within her means and yet achieve her goal of being more sociable and exploring beyond St Lucia.

In addition, the start-up cost of living in a new place is unbelievable. New furniture to purchase and utensils, food and condiments to stock up on. Speaking of which, my female owner has been yielding (such a strong word eh) to have a bookshelf to organise her learning materials. However, due to financial constraints (a simple one would cost about $70, without delivery), she decided not to get one. This morning just after she woke up, for some reason, she decided to get some greens from the nearby shop. To her pleasant surprise, she found that someone has discarded a usable white bookshelf in the pavement just next to her apartment. With such perfect timing (my female owner hardly gets out of her house just to go to the shop), location (the bookshelf was sufficiently heavy, so thankfully it was a short distance and she had the strength to lug it home by herself, up three flights of stairs) and provision (an assembled WHITE bookshelf of the right height), my female owner can only say that it was God who made it possible. Now, all she needs is a cloth to cover the bookshelf.

There you have it, an update of the month. My female owner hasn't really written down her goals/ resolutions for the year but more or less, it is to live life differently from 2008.

idling

Another day of idling around. My female owner went to school at about 1000hr with high hopes of getting some RA work done. The only things she accomplished at 1700hr were to 1) get the computer to work 2) obtain the key to her supervisor’s room 3) claim for 20 more hours of (undone) work 4) open some envelopes. She probably could claim an hour for those miscellaneous work.

You must be wondering what she did with the remaining hours. Hmm…she brought a new friend around campus for three hours, MSN, emails, calls, banking etc…

And she realised with glee that she is one of the few coursework students who has her own office in school (because of her RA work). Not that she minds hanging around the computer lab coz that’s where exchange of valuable information takes place.

moved

My female owner finally moved into her new house yesterday, after one week of procrastination and denial. This is the story of her house-hunting melodrama. She was meant to search for a 2-room unit to share with one of her church friends. After a couple of days of fruitless search and other considerations, my female owner suggested splitting up to which her friend was agreeable.

True to her lazy and goal-oriented style, my female owner identified the grand total of ONE house to inspect. Not trusting herself to make a good decision, she dragged her Therapist Fren along to provide a second opinion.

The unit, situated near school, was being rented by a Chinese couple. They were looking for an Asian female post-graduate student who would be neat and quiet to take the other room. My female owner fitted the bill perfectly. She could tell that the couple was keen to take her in (among the others who turned up for the inspection).

The Chinese guy told her that he would contact her the next day to let her know his answer. Although the house was pleasant and the couple seemed nice, my female owner was hesitant about staying there. For one, she was plagued by the horror stories she heard about Chinese people not being clean (so sorry, I’m not trying to be racist here). At the same time, she was afraid that they might be too anal for her. And living with couples can be difficult in the event that a disagreement happens. You are automatically the sole minority! Also, her room did not come with a wardrobe and the house did not have internet connection. This meant that her set-up costs would be inflated. There was only one bathroom and one toilet, so that might mean a tight squeeze in the mornings. In addition, my female owner did not inspect other houses, so she might be able to find somewhere more suitable if she put in more effort.Etc etc…

Anyway, my female owner went to bed that night, telling God that if the house was offered to her, she would take it. Obviously, the Chinese guy called her to offer the house to her the next day. Although my female owner said yes, she remained hesitant and two-minds about it. She had thoughts of pulling out even as she moved her stuff in two days later…

Hence, the one week of procrastination before she moved in permanently. My female owner even began wishing that she was staying with church friends or familiar people so that things will be easier for her. However, she was also drawn to the unknown, the experience of learning to adapt to live with real strangers, which is the hallmark of overseas living. She was also attracted to the high possibility of improving her Mandarin and culinary skills. Having a guy in the house also meant that he would probably do all things technical/ electrical (ah, so much for her feminist “who-says-you-need-a-man?” streak). Also, through their actions, the couple did seem genuinely nice, accommodating and neat.

My female owner realised that a great deal of the conflict arose out of her own insecurities, and the lack of trust in God to make things right for her. Once again, she had the mindset of taking matters in her own hands and use her own efforts to gain their favour.

Trust God.

fruitful

My female owner had one of her better days in Brisbane today.

She had her day planned out in general terms.
Buy some groceries to bring to new house (more on that next time).
Go to new house to cook lunch (aka instant noodles).
Go to school to close her client files and meet the clinic manager.
Go back to new house to meet her housemate to discuss matters.
Reach back temporary lodging at about 2100hr.

The day turned out more fruitful than expected. She did get groceries and cook at her new house. She completed her client files and received the ok to pass her internship at 197 hours.

In addition, she
Caught up with a number of her coursemates who were in the computer lab.
Found out that she lost 1kg since last Friday!
Had a freshly cooked dinner delivered to her by her Therapist Fren (impromptu!)
Had an intimate talk-cum-laughing-session with her Therapist Fren.
Walked to her new house with her Therapist Fren
Spoke to her new housemate for two hours. Got to know him better (more on that next time).
Soothed her anxiety about her new place (again, will update in due time).
Improved her Mandarin. Learnt new words, even in writing.
Moved her things from her Therapist Fren’s house to her new house.
Got home at 2330hr, flat-out but happier than yesterday.

A fruitful day indeed.

brisbane 09

Like the prodigal son, my female owner went for church service today, the first time in about two months. She entered the service, humbled from the revelation she had last night and weary from one week of (mal)adjustment.

My female owner knew she was still upset about being in Brisbane, coz she teared while talking to a friend who was just asking her “so how, are you still upset (they last met on Friday) about coming back?” Was good that the friend was sitting quite a distance away, having her lunch, so she couldn’t see my female owner’s tears. Anyway, that was the kind of mood my female owner brought with her to church.

Service was held in a lecture theatre with no air-conditioning on. Despite that, my female owner was ready to bare her heart and soul to God. She knew she had to return to God. During the short praise and worship session, the word PASSIVE screamed out at her.

Passive in reaching out to God, passive in this relationship she has with God. Passive in seeking God, passive in saying and asking God for directions and answers to important questions in her life.

She also realised that after an exhausting year in 2008, she simply has no strength to fight as hard as she did last year. The road ahead contains the same kind of bumps as last year and some others, in the form of rigid systems, staff and politics. She has been questioning herself, why psychology? Why be so ambitious and pursue a doctorate? Why couldn’t she be contented with life in Singapore, and just stay employed as she was?

God asked her why she kept going to friends for help and advice and not to Him. Why didn’t she trust Him enough? Why did she take things upon herself and behave as if there is no God?

God dealt with her emotions too. He showed that it was ok to feel sad coz it was part of being human. What was not ok was that she forced herself to not to feel sad, thinking that Christians should not feel sad. What He wanted her to do instead is to bring her unhappinesses etc to Him and not hoard them in her heart.

Like flashes of lighting, God bombarded her, some from the Bible, some regarding her situation.

Rejoice always. In your circumstances. My joy will be your strength.

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts. Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain!

I am the same yesterday, today and forever. What you once experienced as a youth, I can do much more than that. Don’t let your age deter you.

I am faithful. See what I have done for you in 2008? I am faithful.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, and all these will be added unto you.

Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.

I can do exceedingly abundantly above all that you can ever think or dream of.

I know you, I made you. Come to me, don’t struggle on your own.

So many words of life, as my female owner waited on the Lord today.

Moving forward, my female owner asked God to show her what He had in store for her for Brisbane 2009. The guiding verse for 2008 was Proverbs 3:5-6. She wants a guiding verse for this year too.

As what Aussies will say, it’s time to stop mucking around with God.

心酸

My female owner is still upset about being back in Brisbane. She checked around and found out that being homesick is normal and common. My female owner finds that she is grappling with the same issue of procrastination, except that now, she is also homesick and 心酸 (literally heart sour) about leaving．

Eating is no longer a pleasure, just a functional human activity. Sleeping, no longer sweet and yummy, but a means of temporal escape to a land of fantasy. Yet, I must add, she ends up dreaming of people in Singapore! MSN? Cold comfort, in a land away from home.

At the same time, her schoolwork hounds her. Client files to close. Case study to rewrite. Supervision records to update and record. External placement runs into problems. God knows what else she missed out. Oh yes, courses to register for. Deadlines to meet so that she can transfer to another programme. Her RA work. Buried under her inefficiency.

Questions. Anxiety. Insecurities. Fantasies. Wondering if all this is worth it. And would she ever know the answer? And if she does, will it be too late? If too late, too late for what?

Ruminations. Fear. More fear.

Lost.

This is what homesickness does to you.

hunting

Although my female owner is stressed over finding a suitable place to stay in, she has calmed down enough (or resigned to her situation) to muse over the process.

Much as she wished that God will simply drop a house into her lap, the way He did last year, she is starting to see how this process is moulding her.

For one, it is taking her out of her comfort zone. A passive person by nature, my female owner is now being forced to actively pursue something which she needs. In addition, she cannot afford to procrastinate too much. Trust me when I say that she is taking her own sweet time. It’s an avoidant strategy, so if she can’t find a place, she can say that she didn’t try hard enough. Rather than pia all the way and then fail to get a place.

She is also forced to hone her decision-making skills and make decisions in light of various options and factors. With so many choices, it is getting hard for my female owner to decide.

My female owner likens finding a suitable place to choosing a life partner. No room is perfect, each with strengths and flaws. It is about deciding what you can live with or forgo. When you sign the lease, you give up the chance of staying in a better place should one come around later. By not committing to any, you leave your options open, but you may end up with poor quality houses later on as the better rooms are taken.

This may not apply to all room-hunters but for my female owner, she needs to take into consideration, her parents’ feelings. For a while, she was toying with the idea of sharing houses with guys coz the places which appealed to her were generally occupied by guys. But after talking through with her Onli Fren, my female owner may give up this option, coz her parents would have concerns about her safety.

Anyway, like what Onli Fren said, all guys are bad!

hit

My female owner says that the first night alone in Brisbane is always one of the hardest to cope with, coz that's when reality hits you and you realise that you are really alone. It happened to her last night. Laying on a sleeping bag without a pillow (she was still on a bed), in a foreign room that is not hers, the sinking feeling of being alone and on her own crashed into her being.

Overnight, she replaced her sense of security and connectivity to a network of support and established relationships with an unfamiliar surrounding and an unknown future waiting for her to explore and build.

Some random things which she know she will miss in Singapore (besides her usual activities):

Being able to nominate her parent(s) as a contact person in times of emergency. In Brisbane, there is no one close enough and she used to list some random friend.

Being able to open her fridge and choose anything she wants without restrictions.

Having access to cheap food, thus not having to think constantly about what to cook and working out a budget.

A sense of rootedness and stability.

My female owner finds these two days very difficult to cope with. House-hunting has been difficult. Houses are scarce and hunters are plentiful. She is living out of a suitcase, restricted in terms of clothes, stationary and other logistics as she is bunking in with someone till she finds somewhere permanent. Right now, she is really like one of us turtles, living with a shell. Wahaha.

Overwhelmed by uncertainty and anxiety, my female owner decided to give up house-hunting for a while and focus on other things. A short chat with her Onli Fren also brought her focus back to God. That calmed her down somewhat. Things will get better, definitely.

glum

My female owner had a grouchy and gloomy day, walking under the sweltering Brisbane sun in a bid to find a house. Apparently, she has a lot on her mind, with accommodations and daily living arrangements being a high priority. She also needs to complete her internship at her school asap. Plus her RA work, freelance work and other daily hassles, she was THE picture of glum.

Her Therapist Fren told her not to be so harsh on herself. After all, it was only her first day back in Brisbane. But you know my female owner, she gets overwhelmed easily, when things are uncertain and she is hard-pressed for time.