keeps

My female owner says that this year has been a year of building friendships for keeps. As you may remember, she usually keeps people at an arm’s length in the first year of knowing them. After that one year of incubation, she then decides if she wants to bring this friendship to a higher level or let it remain as “people she knows” category.

So, having been in her current lifegroup for two years, it is certainly within her natural timeline to establish deeper friendships with certain individuals. But as usual, her circle of friends remain small and exclusive. It is as if she does not want to open herself to too many people, for the fear of being hurt or taken advantage of..

At the same time, my female owner acknowledges that she is losing friends from the Singapore “people she knows” category. Which upsets her a little coz once upon a time, they had many happy moments together and there was potential to establish stronger friendships. I guess it is a chicken and egg thing – if it’s only “people you know”, then you wont really invest too much into it anyway, and if you don’t invest too much into it, then it qualifies as “people you know”. The good news is that she is still maintaining contact with most of her close friends from Singapore. Anyhow, she is coming back soon, and she will then be able to better assess the collateral damage of being away for so long.

thoughtful

My female owner was very touched by Mr S’s gesture a few days ago (don’t ask me why I am writing everything in retrospective; I think the aussie laid-back culture has gotten to me, vicariously no doubt). I haven’t been talking about him because he hasn’t been around much to talk about. He’s in the midst of his prolonged road trip around Australia and never contacted my female owner. Hence, imagine her shock when he emailed her out of the blue one day, saying that he would be extending his road trip. Hence, he would like to know when her graduation date is, coz he is going to return to his home country in December (as opposed to going back in November) and would like to attend her graduation if possible.

How thoughtful.

My female owner then told him that it is unlikely that she would graduate this year because of problems with her markers and asked him to go ahead with his personal plans. He then wrote back to tell her not to give up hope and that he might still arrange to go back after the graduation date.

How sweet and sincere. *touched*

old fren

My female owner met up with a long-time friend on Sunday (finally). He was someone who had been instrumental in her growing up years as a teenager into adulthood. They used to spend heaps of time together, serving in the Youth Ministry of her home church. Being 9 years older, he naturally took care of my female owner (and her friends) by driving them around and often paying for their meals. The two of them lost contact for a number of years as their lives diverged. The friend moved to Sydney to read medicine while my female owner got distracted by her BGR and other matters. Even though they had been living on the same continent for about 2.5years, they never contacted each other. There was no need to. But they do meet once a year when he returns to Singapore for a short visit. Even then, the meetup was always initiated by other people.

Anyway, my female owner recently took the trouble to get his contact number because she was visiting Sydney and thought he was based there. Turns out that he is based in Byron Bay, just two hours’ drive away from her. So near! And so they agreed to meet up and finally did so, on Sunday.

My female owner says that there is nothing like meeting an old friend (13 years of friendship to be exact). And it’s even more comforting when it happens in a foreign land. Although she knew that he was sporty and an outdoor kind of guy, she didn’t really anticipate that he enjoyed nature the way she did – just exploring, driving around and roughing it out when the weather turns nasty (it was her first time hiking in the rain). So despite the constant downpour, they ended up doing what they set out to do – Natural Bridge.

Natural Bridge, Springbrook National Park is a most unusual geological feature created over millions of years by water tumbling through the roof of a basalt cave.

the week-long downpour had resulted in a large volume of water, thus creating big waterfalls check out the opening where the water rushes through this perspective was taken from Cave Creek, where glow worms can be seen at nightthe aerial view

They also went around exploring other lookouts, targeting waterfalls coz that was what he liked to see. And what better time to chase for waterfalls than during the rainy season!

My female owner says that some things don’t change, and that includes him driving her around (sending her back to Brisbane even) and paying for her meals. In fact, my female owner got scolded for paying for their dinner, coz he felt it was not right that she was paying when she was not working. Just like the old times.

Good for her, she found another (short-term) hiking buddy.

submission

Out of sheer necessity, my female owner finally pulled up her socks and submitted her thesis on Tuesday (i.e. two days ago). Why “sheer necessity”? Coz her housemate was leaving Brisbane indefinitely on Wednesday and my female owner wanted to host a Good Riddance Party before she leaves.

My female owner tried to savour the process of submitting her thesis. She did not find it particularly flavourful. It was with an apprehensive and ambivalent heart that she handed over three copies of her 252-page, 57734-word thesis. She kept wondering if she had done enough and (as expected), catastrophised the worst case scenario that she had to rewrite big chunks of her arguments. And of course, the great uncertainty surrounding her future also dampened her mood.

So anyway, as a gesture of appreciation for her friends who laboured with her through her thesis, she hosted a dinner at night. My female owner felt so blessed to have such friends around her. She even said that with such friends around, she won’t mind doing another thesis. Err… sure anot? I think she was drunk when she said that.

getaway

My female owner had a getaway to the Gold Coast last weekend. She had so much fun, she didn’t even have time to tell us turtles about it. The plan was to spend Saturday doing things that her departing housemate wanted to do. So Emo Sponge and my female owner spent the day with her, eating at her favourite restaurant, taking random photos, desserting at Max Brenner. This was the exact re-enactment of her housemate’s birthday last December. The trio then an agreement (dunno real or not) to meet up every year at Sanctuary Cove to celebrate their friendship.

Anyway, here are some photos to capture the day.

The charming restaurant

Freshest seafood, complete with entree and white wine

Do re mi

poor Emo Sponge, he got dragged into girlie stuff! and finally, desserts..

threshold

Apparently my female owner’s supervisor took so long to revert with his comments on her second drafts that my female owner had the luxury of time to revert to her old-time habit – prolonged MSN chats. She hadn’t been visible for many months because of Thesus but just this week alone, she made connect with some buddies whom she had not spoken for some time – Potahto, Canadian Jogging Kaki and Melbourne Fren. She also went out with Intuitive Fren and got her dose of wit and fast-firing exchange of sarcasm.

All good times must come to an end, and it ended when her supervisor finally reverted with her drafts. Essentially her heart sank when she saw the multitude of comments and question marks he generously dosed onto her draft and the most perplexing thing he wrote came at the end of the two chapters: “good work, congratulations”.

My female owner finds it hard to reconcile his actions and words. Internally, she is fading away already. She is reaching her threshold of last minute comments which should have been pointed earlier, if at all. She says that her chapter has reached a point where if you fix something here, something else might collapse. So finally, she asked Special Fren if he would be available to do a last-time job of proof-reading her chapter, so that these cracks would be spotted now, than later. As usual, he kindly said ok. Ah, so blessed, my female owner.

assertiveness

My female owner couldn’t help but be amused by a conversation she had with Mr S yesterday. The context is that last week, he agreed to go uni earlier today (he was already going to donate blood) to help her do up 112 tables for her thesis. He called her yesterday with “a piece of good news, and a piece of bad news”. Long story short, the good news was that he found a part-time job and the bad news was that he is starting today, i.e. he can’t help her. However, he told his boss that he would need a day off because he promised to help a friend. So he wanted to know if Wednesday or Thursday would be ok for her.

Upon hearing that, my female owner told him that it’s ok, she would do the tables herself. That she felt bad for disrupting his schedule and that he had to drive all the way to uni (about 45 mins) just to do something so boring. But he insisted on helping her, saying that he wanted to help out. Trying to be assertive (that’s what he always wanted her to be), she persisted in her stand

“Hey, its ok, I can do the tables myself, really.”
“So wed or thurs better for you?”
“huh? Are you listening to me? I said its ok, I will do it myself”
“So wed or thurs better?” (with slight giggle on his end)

Ah, how to be more assertive than her assertiveness coach? She gave up. After a while, it wasn’t even a conversation. But she was happy that he is man of his word, even though she was really ok if he couldn’t help out.

ikan bilis

My female owner has been feeling touchy and angsty lately, and she attributes it to the ridiculous directions given by her supervisor regarding her thesis. Dodgy concepts and statistics galore. She ended up doing 84 multiple regressions (whatever that means), on top of other statistical analyses that he wanted her to do. It was as if her supervisor was casting his net wide to see what ikan bilis would be silly enough to be caught in her holey net. He changes his mind last minute, adding more analyses each time, and thus, changing her story each time.

So my female owner is very frustrated, and being her, she tends to direct her anger inwards, towards herself. She loathes to put the blame on her supervisor, so she says that she “should have been” more assertive and directive, and she “should have” clarified more etc etc. At the end of the day, she is blaming herself again. At the back of her mind, she feels sabotaged by him.

And we turtles are affected too. So hard to talk to her these days, without being pricked (hence my less frequent updates). I am still around, but my female owner had been MIA, tackling her T-monster

Nonetheless, she is thankful for her friends who have extended practical help to her. Besides Special Fren who readily agreed to be her proofreader, her Statistics Fren came out of FB to offer his statistics expertise. So did another uni friend who made time between his commitments at uni to look at her statistical write-ups and SPSS outputs when she asked him for help and even went the extra mile to offer more time-slots should she need it. Kudos also to her other uni friends (including Therapist Fren) who took pains to listen to her statistical dilemmas and offered their expert inputs and experience. And Mr S who said he would make time to do “humanitarian, charity work” just as long as it was something within his ability.

graduation

My female owner attended her first convocation of her friends today. She had never been able to make it for previous ceremonies. It was a heart-warming experience, as she soaked up the celebrative and joyous occasion. Behind every happy graduand’s smile lies the untold stories of undying support and faithof much-treasured family and friends. The pride of these supporters shone radiantly on their faces as they pose for photos with the graduands.

the round bonnet - remember my female owner likes round things?

Finally, graduation becomes a reality for my female owner. Seeing her Therapist Fren don on her magnificent gown and cutesy (probably not the right word to use here, since its supposed to be grand and scholarly) bonnet was a good reminder for my female owner that she is getting there. Much closer to the finishing line than ever before. She just gotta keep going and soon, she can say that she has arrived.

what is a graduation without props?

sleep

It’s the time of the night again, when my female owner wonders if she will be able to sleep properly. She changed her sleeping pattern somewhat last night. She decided not to set an alarm for waking up this morning, so that she could reduce the pressure of having to sleep soon enough in order to sleep at least 7 hours. That could have worked, coz she fell asleep in no time. The only trouble was that she ended up sleeping till about 10am. But she celebrated the fact that sleep came easy and undisturbed for once. In her words, better to sleep more and sweetly, than to sleep just nice and poorly.

My female owner says too that suddenly, her friends had been rallying around her. Second Onli Fren called her out of the blue from Singapore, coz she noticed that my female owner had been absent from MSN for a while. And has still been calling her. Special Fren sensed that she was feeling stressed one night and encouraged her not to lose heart and think positively. Then Emo Sponge, who had been missing from her life for a number of weeks now, messaged her randomly to ask how she was coping and affirmed her fighting spirit. He also pointed out everyone goes through bad seasons and this just happens to be my female owner’s time. Mr S also did his part in dispensing sleep hygiene tips and reminded her not to work on Theseus just before bedtime. And out of the blue, Therapist Fren also sent an email to cheer her on in her journey with Theseus, offering her listening ear in dire times.

My female owner was so touched at these gestures of love and encouragement that erm, she actually teared twice on two different days. She felt so undeserving of this outpouring of support. After all, she hadn’t exactly been the best company in recent weeks.

platonic

Ever since Mr S and my female owner cleared the air about their status on Tuesday, my female owner felt a sense of liberation about their relationship. It is as if they can now freely interact with each other without second-guessing intentions and motivations, without any strings attached and instead, enjoy a true platonic friendship. They must have felt even more comfortable now, coz they had no qualms about meeting impromptuly for a late-night movie last night – meeting three days in a row! Once again, he would drive about 45mins to get to her house and send her home in the exact opposite direction of his house (think north and south) from their favourite cinema but that is his prerogative, with no ulterior motives on his part.

My female owner says that knowing him had been good for her (she is not sure if the feeling is mutual but he has also acknowledged that he values the friendship). Amidst all her friends in Brisbane, he is one of the few who could relate to her emotionally and psychologically with ease and confidence. He also availed himself when she was emo and directly labelled her feelings when she could not bring herself to do so. It helps also that he is older than her coz it’s like a breath of fresh air, being able to tap into his years of experience and wisdom, instead of putting up with erm…. I shall not go on lest I offend anyone.

girly

My female owner had a highly hilarious day. She had lunch with her uni frens and was scheduled to have afternoon coffee with Fated Guy. Except that in-between her lunch and afternoon tea, Therapist Fren and another gal (who knew about the happenings) started to corner her about Fated Guy and their progress. My female owner was immensely amused by their cross-talk and vivid fantasies about Fated Guy and her. Like how my female owner was not taking the issue seriously and that there was a mental blockage (which was later clarified as “mental resistance”) on her part.

“talk nonsense” was the summary of my female owner’s response.

They started to ask if he showed signs of interest in her and my female owner said no.

“did he introduce his friends to you?” (no!.... “but you went camping with his housemates”)
“did you guys talk about your future?” (yes, but separate futures)

Knowing that they were not convinced, she then asked them to join her for coffee and certainly, it didn’t take much for them to agree. And the best part was, they didn’t want her to tell him they were coming along and instead, to spring a surprise on him. How girly!

Afternoon coffee went well. Much chatter and laughter. My female owner didn’t know if having her friends around caught him off-guarded (he did look shocked) or disrupted his plans but she felt that he interacted well with them (much better than she would have, if roles were reversed). Anyway, Fated Guy and Therapist Fren had been acquainted before in other settings.

Her other friend left quite fast but Therapist Fren stayed till the end to gather “intel” and of course, to amuse herself. Debriefing with Therapist Fren was equally funnie, as she started to build upon her earlier fantasies and broke into fits of giggles.

"you guys were obviously very comfortable with each other" (yah, but that's the same for any friends)
"you guys progressed so fast in such a short time to such personal issues" (progress doesn't mean anything more than friendship, besides, the things we talked about, he also asked you just now. duh)

Oh well, girly fun at her expense. Looks like her ploy didn't work.

say

My female owner had been meeting up with Fated Guy at least once a week. These meetings most often than not take place in uni, if they both happen to be in uni at the same time. Hence, it is purely meals of convenience. Through these meals, she got to know him (and his psyche) better. I said before that at the first dinner they had, my female owner was struck by how similar their interests were. She soon found out he often said things that she herself would say. Some of these include (I’m sure her close friends would agree too)

“actually I am very shy” (when he goes around making friends with random people he meets at coffee shops)

“things could be worse, I mean, I could say that ‘even mozzies don’t like me’ ” (context: at camping, when my female owner commented that he was so lucky not to be bitten by mosquitoes)

“I was feeling emotional yesterday” (last lecture of his programme - same as how my female owner felt)

“I wanna go home!” (during the same period when my female owner had that exact tagline on MSN)

“I find it hard to approach people first, but if people make the first move, I am ok” (what can I say?)

Maybe there are a few more examples but I can’t recall them at this point in time. My female owner never really told him that he sounded like her but I find it disturbing to see a reflection of herself in someone else. One her is enough, I reckon.

tail

My female owner met up with Fated Guy again today. Deliberately. Coz they had to make arrangements for the upcoming camping trip. Yes, they are going camping!

You know, being single for so many years (and having had a crap relationship in the past), her friends are naturally excited for her, at what they call, a romantic story of how the two of them keep meeting at various random places and timings. My female owner certainly does not see it romantic or even the friendship as anything more than activity-mates. If anything, she is apprehensible about going camping with someone she hardly knows and wonders if they would return as friends. However, she is very very amused by her friends’ reactions and responses who would dramatise the situation.

This is the most recent example. Today, she had an extended lunch with two friends at uni. She then had to leave to meet Fated Guy at 1500hr at a cafe. Unknown to her, they tried to tail her to the café. Except that they didn’t know which café my female owner was going to. And girls being girls, they lost my female owner fairly quickly (even though my female owner was walking at normal pace and wearing bright purple). Thinking it would be easy to find her, they went to the three cafes around the faculty (must have taken about 30mins to cover the distance) and lo and behold, could not locate my female owner.

What really happened was, my female owner was supposed to meet Fated Guy at the first café the two friends went to. But exactly at 1500hr, he smsed her and changed the venue to somewhere else… which obviously the two friends did not think about. Haha, an obvious case of no fate!

And my female owner only found out about their strange exploit, when she happened to bump into one of them at the toilet like two hours later. Talk about strange fate! And in the midst of girly giggles, she asked "so free ah?"

Fated Guy

My female owner skipped dinner with her church friends last night to have dinner with Fated Guy. Remember, that guy that she bumps into at random places. Being the nice guy he is, he picked her up from work and they ended up at West End.

As with the lunch she had with this random Singaporean guy, my female owner felt a little odd initially. The dinner was really the first time the two of them interacted beyond their usual coincidental 10mins encounters.

Yes, my female owner found another person who speaks her professional language, from a slightly different perspective, given that he is a trained social worker (think Functional Fren) completing his Masters in Counselling. Ah, the kind of profile that engages my female owner beyond the typical nonsense fun of a social gathering.

And of course, they didn’t run out of things to talk about (how could you, if it is your first meeting). My female owner gleefully found out that Fated Guy is an outdoor person who enjoys (get this right), camping, bush-walking, backpack travelling and endurance sports. How exciting! There and then, they spoke about doing a backpacking trip around Australia later in the year (although it doesn’t sound feasible for my female owner, given her schedule, it’s still good to have some hope eh?). In her typical passive style, she told him “let me know if you are going bush-walking, I will be happy to come along”.

They also went on a deeper level to talk about their post-graduation plans (Fated Guy is going to graduate in July). While Fated Guy looks to the uncertainty with excitement (he called himself an “explorer and adventurer”), my female owner looks to the lack of plans with fear and anxiety. Certainly a refreshing change from the way she had always looked at her situation. Also refreshing in the sense that he is in a similar situation as she is, unlike the rest of her friends who are already working and comfortable in their current circumstances.

escapade

My female owner finally returned from her getaway to the Gold Coast. She didn’t really bring a camera as she knew she would be too lazy to take many photos. So I don’t have any photos to spice up my Turtle Pad.

Anyway, her first night was spent in a hotel with three friends, having seafood and playing Monopoly. Not a strategic game player, she was the first to be bankrupt. *applause* The foursome had great fun nonetheless but had to ssshhh themselves up after being scolded by the hotel staff for laughing too loudly.

The next four days were spent in a church conference, the annual Oceania Conference. Every conference (she has been to three) is different and hence, impacts her in different ways. She had her heart-warming moments and her “what-am-I-doing-here?” flashes too. But overall, she likens it to an annual detoxing therapy, where she gets rid of the spiritual cobwebs in her life and polishes her spirit up for a new year.

Her escapade ended appropriately with a run with I-Fren who happened to be in her area today. They were supposed to meet up in the Coast over the weekend but a major breakdown in communication resulted in them going to different locations. But well, at least they got to jog eventually.

So there, a summary of her weekend. Will update with more details soon!

nut

During the strange dinner recently, my female owner’s aikido instructor impromptuly organised a Christmas Day dinner at his house. My female owner was invited and she gave a vague verbal commitment to the party. She thought nothing much of it, until her aikido instructor called her up a few days later to confirm her attendance and even then, she remained ambivalent because she felt it was weird spending Christmas with him and his family! However, his sincerity during the conversation touched her heart and she ended up giving a firm yes to him. Her aikido instructor even went on to make transport arrangements for her.

My female owner says that her aikido instructor is one of the most sincere and proactive persons around, much needed qualities in maintaining contact with an ultra-passive person like her (in fact, i think in all her close friendships, her friends had been the ones who persisted in engaging her before she finally broke the shy barrier and responded on her own accord. A really tough nut to crack, I must say. Kudos to their patience). Remember I said that she didn’t feel comfortable during her first lesson? Her aikido instructor actually called her a few days later to ask how she is and noted her absence from post-lesson drinks which she normally joined. He also soothed her anxieties about training with so many unknown people.

If my female owner stays on in aikido, it would be largely because of her aikido instructor who never gave up on her as a teacher, and as a friend.

overdrive

My female owner just came home from a full-day of meeting people. She was hosting (or baby-sitting) I-Fren and had earlier planned a day of meeting up with friends for him.

The day started with meeting I-Fren and Therapist Fren at an unearthly time of 0830hr at Bishan MRT. For the first time since she returned home, she woke up at 0700hr. Having slept at 0200hr the night before, my female owner couldn’t help but wonder what insanity caused her to set such an early time.

Turns out that both Frens were late. Nonetheless, they ended up having a comfortable time: Yakun for brekkie, Tu Tu Kueh for morning tea, famous Chicken Rice + po piah for lunch. The Frens even managed to get some quirky pressies from various shops. Fruitful indeed!

Afternoon was spent with Onli Frens and baby at Clarke Quay. They ended up back at Yakun, proving the point that Yakun is “not just a breakfast thing”. They also went on the Hippo River Cruise, with compliments from Second Onli Fren. Because I-Fren was around, they managed to get some really good shots of their afternoon.

Evening to night was spent with Impromptu Frens. My female owner was appreciative that all who were available after work, took time to meet I-Fren (it also turned out to be a welcome back dinner for another friend from US). My female owner was gleeful too, that she could have her Macho Margarita. Looking at the size of the glass, she was amazed at how Librarian Fren and her could previously order two glasses within the space of 1.5hrs. She was further amazed at I-Fren’s high energy level. At the same time, she was perplexed at some stuff she observed around the dinner table.

Night ended later than she expected. While I-Fren and her had a mini-chat on the way back to his house, my female owner wished she had more time to talk to him about some stuff. And when you thought she would come home to rest after a power-packed day of meeting so many people at close-range, my female owner extended her night by going for supper with other friends. Hmmm, I wonder if her introverted and shy genes would protest given that overdrive.

dynamics

Don’t get me wrong when I said that my female owner’s top priority is her family. This doesn’t mean that she has forgotten about her friends. My female owner is still occupied with meeting ups. So far, the group she has been meeting up most with is (surprise surprise), her Impromptu Frens. I’ve lost count of the number of people in this group. Maybe 5 girls and 4 guys (5, if you include Potahto’s partner)? There is a new girl in the group whom my female owner has not met but this girl marks the first female who is not from her previous organisation.

Over the past 10 months, the group’s dynamics has changed dramatically. Like what my female owner said, the group she came back to is not the same group which she left in Feb 09. Sentiments have changed, perceptions altered, priorities shifted. One of her closer friends commented that this was a group that my female owner had worked hard to bring together its members and later bind together (e.g. through sports) and when things were stable, had to leave (my female owner’s take differs slightly in that she worked hard to bind the group together so that things would continue after she left). Some people had said that my female owner was the glue that binds the group together. My female owner doesn’t think she has such powers, especially since she is not particularly close to a few people. Rather, she sees these changes as a natural progression in group dynamics, where relationships mature and with any big group, mini cliques form.

Despite some weird dynamics, my female owner had the chance to meet up with most of them in a big group (yah, they gave her face!) and in smaller groups over the course of the week. My female owner really lavished in this intimate fellowship with her friends. After all, her love languages are quality time (impromptu jios and suppers) and acts of service (fixing her belt, driving her around).

surprise

If you see how my female owner cried today, you would think she is leaving Brisbane for good.

It all started when Korean Jogging Kaki sent an sms to say that I-Fren (they are staying together) had just left his house to go over to her house to fetch her to the airport. This led my female owner to think that Korean Jogging Kaki was not coming to send her off. Between the sms and I-Fren’s arrival, my female owner got distracted by her missing laptop case (which she never found in the end). I-Fren finally arrived and helped to carry out her luggage to the car. With his hands full, he requested her to open the car boot.

Distracted by her missing laptop case and the previous night’s emo outburst, my female owner dutifully opened the car boot, and out sprang Korean Jogging Kaki. And of course, my easily startled female owner screamed in shock. Wahaha. Such a heart-warming send-off.

In the car to the airport, my female owner started tearing, those kind that she had to try her hardest to stop by deliberating distracting herself. The emotions that washed over her were familiar. Those tears, she shed too, the day she left for Brisbane for the first time. Those tears, uncontrollable, kept flowing as she sat in her father’s car. This time round, she managed to stop herself coz the guys started talking random things and she shifted her focus.

Saying goodbye again, for the second time, was no easier than the night before. It didn’t help that the goodbye was abrupt and she was left drowning in her own salty tears. A friend called and my female owner started crying over the phone. SMSes came and the tears started again. Yes, once she starts, it’s hard to stop. It’s like intermittent rain. Start stop start stop. Easily triggered by any random moving cloud. When she thought she finally got over it, yet another phone call from Therapist Fren opened the flood gates. But as usual, Therapist Fren was able to calm her down and soothe her distress (that’s why she’s called Therapist Fren).

Therapist Fren noted that my female owner had been spending a lot more time with Korean Jogging Kaki (and the rest of the camping gang) in recent weeks. She joked that it was the “urgency of a deadline”, the knowing that such times are coming to an end. Isn’t that how one should live one’s life? Not taking for granted that “there is still time” but to really seize the day and make each day count. One day, tomorrow will end, and if you don’t cherish the people around you, you would regret that you have neglected them.