replacement

A new housemate is moving in her house and my female owner ain’t looking forward to it.

Right now, she has two housemates. One is the daughter of the owner of the house who has just gone home for an extended holiday. The other, is leaving for good next week. My female owner has been looking forward to a fortnight of being home alone (hear her anti-social, hermit, reclusive genes crying out loud) but now, it seems her plans are thwarted, because this stranger is moving in the day the other housemate is leaving for good.

So not fun, she says.

moving

My female owner says that her housemate stuff has been more or less settled. Her housemates had advertised the vacancy on the accommodations website and people have started showing interest in the room. Yah, they finally spoke on Tuesday. It is amazing how many days can go by, without you seeing your housemates. My female owner has never realised it before.

Although she would have like to have talked to them face to face from the word go, my female owner was still glad that she acted on what she wanted. In the past, she would have just let it go… and suffered in silence.

Timing is everything, she reckons. In the past, she would have never considered living with a church friend, for the fear of losing the friendship by being in too close a proximity. As long ago as last year, when she first met this person she is going to stay with, she knew that this person had empty rooms to rent. When she arrived in Brisbane this year, this person still had empty rooms to let (she has three extra rooms, you see). My female owner did not consider the house at all. Now, she says the timing is right. She is ready to move in with her (sounds like marriage ah).

Anyway, you probably know that my female owner has ambivalence tendencies. She reckons that she analyses situations too superficially, too much. Hence, she can see the pros and cons of situations and end up being torn by alternatives. When reality hits home and she realises that she is indeed moving, my female owner was filled with ambivalence.

She really loves her current location. When she first moved in, she had no idea if she made a right choice in staying at St Lucia. In fact, she was reluctant to move in. She kept delaying, until the last possible day. The location has just been a great blessing to her in more ways than one.

Not surprisingly then, my female owner feels a tinge of reluctance and sadness in having to move out (note: this is in spite of the fact that she chose to move). Maybe she dramatised things too much. She felt as if once again, she was relocating from Singapore to Brisbane, and wished that she could bring all her St Lucia friends to Sunnybank, so that they could be within reach. In fact, she never considered Sunnybank as a possible place to live. However, rising costs in St Lucia made her swing her vote to Sunnybank. Ever bad at financial management (can you believe that my female owner once considered being an accountant?!?!), she roughly estimated that she would save about $200/ month (which she was also sure that she might spend that savings on other things). So, the argument is not about saving money, but getting value for money.

avoid

And so, this is an interim update of her avoidance stance. My female owner took great pains to wake up late on Sunday so that she does not need to do any serious talking in the morning. Her housemates were out by the time she stepped out of her room at 1000hr (she had no choice, she had to go to the toilet). At night, she reached home about 2230, after a very meaningful dinner with some friends). They were asleep already.

This morning was as per usual. Male housemate out of the house, female housemate in her own room. Female housemate did not make any attempts to talk to her (which is good…. consistent to her avoidance philosophy).

So, two days after writing the note… nothing has transpired. My female owner certainly hopes that she can move out without a fuss… fingers crossed

living

Took me a while to do this, but I finally managed to wrestle my female owner’s pet peeves about sharing house with others. The scenarios below are true.

Leaving unwashed dishes in the sink or around the sink overnight (and longer)

Leaving laundry in the washing machine or on the laundry line longer than necessary

Having house parties without first informing other housemates

Having house parties during examination periods

Not clearing up after guests leave

Not disposing bags of rubbish after house parties

Allowing fresh food to rot in refrigerators and not clearing them even when they have decomposed

Not replacing toilet paper when the roll is finished

Making a mess of bathrooms

Leaving mess in common areas like the living room or dining area

Smoking in the house (includes balcony)

Exhausting internet download limits before the month is up

One that she will always remember: Burning housemate’s plants

withdrawal

My female owner is in her withdrawal mode these days.

She hasn’t really spoken to her housemates for days (maybe only three lines?). Traditionally, she does not really communicate much with housemates (no thanks to her upbringing where she hardly speaks to her brother). I think she has a big personal space radius. In fact, she would rather close her room door when she is at home, but knowing that they prefer to be “open”, she decided to compromise on that.

This is how she avoided talking or seeing them for days. In the mornings, she either leaves the house before they wake up (during working days) or snoozes in bed until they leave the house. Actually, maybe they are actually snoozing in bed until she leaves the house on her working days!

At night, if she reaches home before them, she will hole up in her room when they arrive home. Although her door remains open, she would not go out of her room until they have retired for the night. At other times, she reaches home late enough to know that they have retired for the night.

Not a very fun or engaging housemate to have, I must say. I think she functions better as a travelling partner, since the duration of close physical proximity is short-term and the common activities are stimulating and non-routine.

out

My female owner is meeting the person whom she is supposed to get help from in less than an hour’s time. Yah, after a long-winded attempt to set an appointment, the two of them finally arranged to meet today at my female owner’s house.

When the appointment was settled last week, my female owner sent an email to her leader, requesting that he prays also that her house-mates would not be home (As you may already know, Female Housemate tended to stay home these days, leaving my female owner feeling frustrated).

On her own, my female owner made some half-hearted prayer for Female Housemate to be out of the house today. I say it is half-hearted, coz my female owner was already mentally prepared for Female Housemate to be home. Anyway, last night, my female owner informed her that she would be having a friend over for lunch and asked if Female Housemate would like to join them for lunch.

Her reply was “Oh, I will be going to school tomorrow, I’ve already cooked our lunches.” Amazing coz she is usually home during lunch-time.

And indeed, this morning, she was out of the house by 0900hr. My female owner is amazed at how God would answer her simple prayer.

restrictive

Has been a while since I told you about my female owner’s Housemates.

In all respect, they are extremely nice and accommodating people. They try to create a “family” environment at home where Male Housemate divides the household responsibilities. While he is in charge of bills, he has assigned my female owner to be in charge of purchasing miscellaneous household items like toilet rolls and tissue paper. Housemates also suggested having a weekly family dinner. So far, they managed to gather thrice for dinner. During the weekends, they go for grocery shopping together. A couple of times, Housemates try to get her to go to Goldcoast with them, but she has always rejected them as they tended to go on Sundays.

The most “family” thing that happened: One night, my female owner reached home after 0100hr. The next day, Male Housemate spoke to her about it and expressed their concern when she did not return home. He said that they waited for her until midnight and even left his mobile on, in case she needed to reach them or she forgot her keys. He then nicely requested that in future, she let them know if she would be home late. Out of respect and consideration for their peace of mind, she acceded to the request.

Family dinners and informing them of any late-returns?! This is more restrictive than in Singapore. ahh... but she sees their good intentions.

day

My female owner has been ruminating about whether she will get along with her housemates. There is always a possibility that things start off well but fizzle out soon after. Anyway, she spent the whole of Saturday with her housemates and found them to be really accommodating and peace-loving.

First, Male Housemate drove them to Rocklea Brisbane Market where the ladies could shop for cheap fresh produce for the week ahead. The three of them had a ball of time trying to teach each other Chinese/ English names of fruits and vegetables. For example, did you know that the Chinese name for bell peppers is simply 大辣椒? My female owner was expecting something classy, at least for capsicums. And if you wondering, how to differentiate the different colours, just put the name of the colour in front: 红/青/黄 大辣椒.

Then Male Housemate kept his promise to bring my female owner to set up a phone and internet line (Now, you need to know that for most part of her life, she had been surrounded by men who do not keep their promises or change their minds at the last minute. Hence, she was not sure if Male Housemate would remember what he said he would do). At their first meeting during the inspection, he had expressed a reluctance to get an internet connection as he did not require one. However, he was still willing to share in the monthly subscription. Male Housemate was a little peculiar in the sense that while he was put off by the set-up fee of $60 each for the phone and internet but he was okay with subscribing to a more expensive internet package ($50/ month for 50G as opposed to $40/ month for 25G) if my female owner wanted more G. In fact, he kept asking my female owner if 25G was sufficient for her (the working assumption is that his wife and him would not be using much).

Then they went for more grocery shopping at the shopping centre and Male Housemate happily wheeled the trolley around. Ah, gentlemanly. My female owner’s type of guy.

After sending them home, Male Housemate trotted off to school to do some work while Female Housemate went to sleep. My female owner read a book and cooked out of boredom. Female Housemate later woke up and attempted to bake a simple cake. And offered some to my female owner. Wahaha! Favour! They were in the living room to talking about cakes and such when Male Housemate came home.

Despite having a long day, he was still in a cheery mood and sat down with them to chit-chat. Another hour of fun chat and intellectual exchange where he asked my female owner about the history of Singapore (?!). My female owner actually managed to provide a fairly accurate account of Singapore’s history (or so she hopes).
In the past, my female owner hardly had the experience of sitting down to chat with her housemates, just for the sake of chatting. This was refreshing for her and certainly in line with how she wanted their relationship to pan out.

moved

My female owner finally moved into her new house yesterday, after one week of procrastination and denial. This is the story of her house-hunting melodrama. She was meant to search for a 2-room unit to share with one of her church friends. After a couple of days of fruitless search and other considerations, my female owner suggested splitting up to which her friend was agreeable.

True to her lazy and goal-oriented style, my female owner identified the grand total of ONE house to inspect. Not trusting herself to make a good decision, she dragged her Therapist Fren along to provide a second opinion.

The unit, situated near school, was being rented by a Chinese couple. They were looking for an Asian female post-graduate student who would be neat and quiet to take the other room. My female owner fitted the bill perfectly. She could tell that the couple was keen to take her in (among the others who turned up for the inspection).

The Chinese guy told her that he would contact her the next day to let her know his answer. Although the house was pleasant and the couple seemed nice, my female owner was hesitant about staying there. For one, she was plagued by the horror stories she heard about Chinese people not being clean (so sorry, I’m not trying to be racist here). At the same time, she was afraid that they might be too anal for her. And living with couples can be difficult in the event that a disagreement happens. You are automatically the sole minority! Also, her room did not come with a wardrobe and the house did not have internet connection. This meant that her set-up costs would be inflated. There was only one bathroom and one toilet, so that might mean a tight squeeze in the mornings. In addition, my female owner did not inspect other houses, so she might be able to find somewhere more suitable if she put in more effort.Etc etc…

Anyway, my female owner went to bed that night, telling God that if the house was offered to her, she would take it. Obviously, the Chinese guy called her to offer the house to her the next day. Although my female owner said yes, she remained hesitant and two-minds about it. She had thoughts of pulling out even as she moved her stuff in two days later…

Hence, the one week of procrastination before she moved in permanently. My female owner even began wishing that she was staying with church friends or familiar people so that things will be easier for her. However, she was also drawn to the unknown, the experience of learning to adapt to live with real strangers, which is the hallmark of overseas living. She was also attracted to the high possibility of improving her Mandarin and culinary skills. Having a guy in the house also meant that he would probably do all things technical/ electrical (ah, so much for her feminist “who-says-you-need-a-man?” streak). Also, through their actions, the couple did seem genuinely nice, accommodating and neat.

My female owner realised that a great deal of the conflict arose out of her own insecurities, and the lack of trust in God to make things right for her. Once again, she had the mindset of taking matters in her own hands and use her own efforts to gain their favour.

Trust God.