atmosphere

My female owner had a mini-relapse today when she didn’t feel like going to church. The wave of lethargy came over her just before it was time to prepare for church (how strategic). So she ended up napping from 1453hr till 1500hr. Lying in bed, she struggled over whether she should struggle to get over her lethargy, get out of bed and head for church.

And she did.

She even went for dinner, which turned out to be unexpectedly fun. Haha. The laughters and funny comments that erupted spontaneously. An atmosphere which she didn’t realise during dinner but now she recognises one which she was so used to in Singapore, hanging out with her different groups of friends.

Through that dinner, she found sky-divers wannabes (??? I hear that she has semi-committed herself for it) and scuba-diving kakis (that I understand).

Suddenly Brisbane seems exciting, and studying, a chore.

INFP

In her bid to soothe her indignance about being an "E", my female owner redid her MBTI test and obtained the profile she always had.

INFP
The Idealist
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

INFP Relationships
INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them.

INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

INFP Strengths
● Warmly concerned and caring towards others
● Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
● Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
● Deep capacity for love and caring
● Driven to meet other's needs
● Strive for "win-win" situations
● Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
● Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
● Able to express themselves well
● Flexible and diverse

INFP Weaknesses
● May tend to be shy and reserved
● Don't like to have their "space" invaded
● Extreme dislike of conflict
● Extreme dislike of criticism
● Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
● May react very emotionally to stressful situations
● Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
● Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
● Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
● Perfectionist tendencies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
● Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

INFPs as Lovers
INFPs feel tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedestal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedestal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mate's satisfaction above their own.

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. TJs relate to others with an objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of perceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.

INFPs as Parents
INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.

INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.

Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.

The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.

Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sidesi", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.

INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.

INFPs as Friends
INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

MBTI

Ever heard of the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator? My female owner has done that test in various forms a few times and always turn up as INFP. Being a F person, she was once upset when she sent a "warm" sms about a dinner appointment to her Functional Fren who replied with a "k" (as in "okay").

How curt, she thought. It was only when her MBTI expert friend (who happened to be involved in the cross-fire) explained that a T person would reply in that manner and think not too much about it, that my female owner was appeased. However, I dare say that she still gets annoyed if people replies her sms with a "k".

Anyway, she had a few exchanges with her Functional Fren and her Intuitive Fren (who do not know each other) regarding her personality. Among all her clever and high-potential friends, they are probably two of the most psychologically-minded. Both of them independently told her that they think she's an extrovert and my female owner had been vehemantly disagreeing with their arguments (till her face turn blue, I dare say).

So, the point of my thesis today is (wahaha, I'm sounding like my female owner... trying to seem scholarly), my female owner did another MBTI test via Facebook and here's her results.

Before reading through, do note that my female owner disagrees with the outcome (you will know which one).
____________________________________________________

ENFP
The Inspirer
Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(2%, 7%, 41%, 33% respectively)
Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not live with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

ENFP Relationships
ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals. ENFP

Strengths
● Good communication skills
● Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
● Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
● Warmly affectionate and affirming
● Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
● Strive for "win-win" situations
● Driven to meet other's needs
● Usually loyal and dedicated

ENFP Weaknesses
● Tendency to be smothering
● Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
● Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
● Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
● Extreme dislike of conflict
● Extreme dislike of criticism
● Don't pay attention to their own needs
● Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
● May become bored easily
● Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

ENFPs as Lovers
ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.

Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, the ENFP is creative, perfectionist, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for complements. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time.

The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition.

ENFPs as Parents
ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.

The ENFP may exhibit an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child's best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the ENFP's genuine desire to relate to their children on the children's level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child's friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.

The children of ENFPs generally feel loved, because the ENFP gives their children plenty of genuine warmth and support. They usually value their children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. The ENFP's enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to their children. This will be especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, who will have a difficult time understanding the effervescence of the ENFP, and will feel at times embarrassed by the ENFP's enthusiasm and tendency to display their affection publicly.

The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.

The rich imagination and creativity of the ENFP parent creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. The ENFP's strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. The ENFP parent is valued by their children for their warm, affirming natures, and their fun-loving approach to living.

ENFPs as Friends
ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.

In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. ENFPs will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case ENFPs may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, ENFPs may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.

For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.

winter

The very fact that she has made it through winter gave my female owner a sense of triumph. Winter was the coldest and gloomiest season, with the strong harsh winds and short sunny days. It was soothing for my female owner, as she drew comparisons between this physical winter and the “winter” of her programme. The going may be tough at times, but the end result, fulfilling and strengthening. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Dodo taught me that a few years ago, when a plank of wood dropped on his shell and he was unharmed. Since then. he feared little things.

unprepared

The male client called the clinic, looking for my female owner. My female owner had no choice but to return his call (she deliberately waited two days to do that). As expected, he tried to ask her out for coffee. Although my female owner predicted that this was the reason behind the call, she failed to prepare a good response. Again, she highlighted that it was an ethical issue and that it was not professional for therapists to go out with their clients. And the male client argued that he was no longer her client. So she had to explain that…. Ok, I’m not sure what she said, coz she gave a blurry explanation which went over my head. No wonder he was not convinced too. The tussle lasted for about 10 minutes and the male client finally gave up.

Hopefully he doesn’t call her again, or else things might become complicated.

breakthroughs

My female owner feels more competent this week, because she has achieved breakthroughs with two families.

First, the Grandma who kept cancelling on her and whom my female owner almost sacked, has finally demonstrated commitment to attending the parenting programme on a weekly basis no less!

The strategy which my female owner used was to overcome Grandma’s resistance and apprehension was to first, allow Grandma to ventilate and then reflect that she was listening to her. Next, my female owner asked questions that aimed to help Grandma see how the family environment was impacting on her grandson’s behaviour. She also used Grandma’s words to increase buy-in. That slowly convinced Grandma that some undesirable things were happening at home. My female owner realised that head-on persuasion was not going to win anyone over and the best way to modify mindsets was to guide the other party to generate his own truths.

The second family was a pair of parents who were very consistent in attending therapy and doing homework. However, they were still struggling with getting the child to comply and the mother kept saying that time-out didn’t work. My female owner had been feeling helpless and apologetic about the situation. She felt that she had not done a good job in teasing out the family’s issues and had this fear that they would terminate on her abruptly.

My female owner went to their house yesterday for a “practice session”. The parents had to select a typical situation which they struggle with, set some goals in terms of demonstrating some parenting strategies correctly and carry out the plan in vivo. It was my female owner’s first time carrying out a practice session for any of her clients (yes, this set of parents are the first to reach this stage of the programme). She found the session enriching in terms of her professional development as a therapist and also, in identifying gaps in their parenting. Phew. She left the session feeling that she had redeemed her credibility.

So there you have it. Two good sessions this week.

cookie

You know, although my hot-blooded brothers had previously made the turtles living next door pregnant and caused them to lay 12 eggs in quick succession, my female owner had never put pressure on us (Nanook and myself) to produce mini-turtles. For that, I am grateful. I’m just like my female owner, lacking in maternal instinct. I can’t imagine being a mother. There’s a fine line between being maternal and being “auntie” and that’s why my female owner is guarded in the way she expresses concern for people.

My female owner once thought that she would be a mother by 18+++yrs. She was heading towards a cookie cutter middleclass Singaporean lifestyle. Study hard, go to university, get a good job, find a stable guy (who also did the same thing as her – studied hard, went to university, secured a good job, found a good wife (in her?)), get married and have two children.

When she realised that her cookie cutter lifestyle was probably not working out, she started to pursue her alternative lifestyle choice. While it is scary being out of norm, she has convinced herself that her non-cookie lifestyle has its perks too.

hallucinate

My female owner thinks she hallucinated today – visually and tactilely. She had borrowed a laptop from her course coordinator to be used for the first of her tutorials’ group presentation. As she was running late, she set up the laptop in a haste. The group requested for a mouse and she opened up the extra compartment of the laptop bag in search for one. She found that comprtment to be filled to the brim, with a purse which she assumed to be the course corrdinator’s. Pushing that aside, she found a wireless mouse.

After the group presentation and while watching a video for the rest of the tutorial, she noticed that the wireless mouse was gone and made a mental note to get it from the group. She presumed that one of the students must have packed it away in haste.

At the end of the hour-long tutorial, she started to pack away the laptop and realised to her frustration that she forgot to check with the group regarding the runaway mouse. When she opened the compartment, she saw, with a sinking feeling, that the purse was gone! She searched around, but could not locate both the mouse and the purse. What she found instead (which she didn’t notice before), was a wired mouse.

She felt a sinking feeling within her, so heavy that she felt flattened. She couldn’t work out how the two items went missing, except that someone must have taken it. Despite the sunken feeling, she proceeded with her second class. Halfway through class (during the video screening), she decided that time was of essence and felt that she had to call the course coordinator and inform her of the missing purse and mouse.

Imagine her shock, when the course coordinator said that her wallet was next to her on the table. She also said that she wasn’t sure if she had a wireless mouse in that compartment.

So what did my female owner see and touch earlier? She still couldn’t work it out but yah, was relieved, nonetheless that she didn’t lose anybody’s purse. In this case, she would much rather have hallucinated than be grounded in reality and lose a purse.

sure win double choc chip cookie recipe

My female owner's next baking attempt:

Double Chocolate Chips Cookies
125g dark chocolate
150g flour
30g cocoa, sieved
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1/2 tsp salt
125g soft butter
75g light brown sugar
50g white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
350g chocolate chips

1. preheat oven to 170 degree. melt the 125g dark choclate in microwave or over a pan of simmering water.
2. put the cocoa, flour, bicarbonate of sodda and salt into a bowl.
3. cream the butter and sugars in an other bowl. add the melted chocolate and mix together.
4. beat in the vanilla extract and egg, then mix in the dry ingredients. finally stir in the chcolate chips.
5. scoop out 12 equal sized mounds - use an ice cream scoop and a palette knief. place on a baking sheet about 6cm aprt. do not flatten them
6. cook for 18 mins.
7. leave to cool on the baking sheet for 5 mins then transfer to a coooling rack.


My female owner is very convinced that this recipe is worth its weight in fats, coz her Onli Fren baked her some as a welcome gift when she came back recently. They were so yummy (right texture and taste) that my female owner had no qualms eating them, despite its obvious fattening nature (and you wonder why my female owner wonders why she put on 2 kg in those 2 weeks she was back home!)

inspiration

My female owner suffered a relapse and has been binge-eating for 2 days. The reason for her outburst is that she has to churn out a research proposal outline by Sunday for her research supervisor to approve. Her head has been swimming with questions and uncertainties and she found that it was difficult to get down to the drawing board. Exasperated, she retrieved her Honours thesis for some inspiration to try to start rolling out research ideas. For the life of her, my female owner couldn’t recall how she started that arduous process of formulating a research idea, confirming the research methodology, working through the statistics and finally writing up the paper.

In the process of gaining some inspiration (and possibly losing some instead), my female owner came across some random phrases which she reckoned she was she was once familiar with, but are now distant snippest of information (oh no! will that happen to us turtles?!)


“moderated repeated–measures regression analyses”

“psychophysiological reactivity hypothesis and the social-support reactivity hypothesis”

“large social network on behavioural, neuroendocrine and hemodynamic pathways”

“a power analysis of the sample size needed to detect a medium size in a two-way interaction”

“a standard occluding cuff with an internal sensor for detecting Korokoff sounds was positioned over the brachial artery”

“Principal components analysis (PCA) with Promax rotation was then used to reduce the dimensionality of the 15 mood adjectives”


Now you know why I suspect that whatever inspiration she had oozed away when she read through her previous thesis.

Friends

My female owner has been watching Friends on the sideline. What she means is that her housemates have been watching random episodes on DVD and because she is sitting in the balcony (she has one too!) which is next to the television in the living room, she gets remnants of the series (i.e. whenever her brain skives).

She probably watched more Friends in her entire life within this week than over the last ten years combined. Coincidentally, when she was back in Singapore recently spending impromptu moments with her Impromptu Frens, they had a few discussions about how each of them seemed to take after one character in Friends.

My female owner found Friends ultra hilarious and ticklish. At the same time, she shuttered at the thought of her Impromptu Frens taking after some of the characters. She would be so traumatised! Imagine having a friend who displays Joey’s himbo moments or Monica’s OCD features. Having a “Phoebe” around who goes all out to help her friends would be nice though… (my female owner’s personal favourite).

Now, who was who again? She can’t remember the verdict.

P.S.

My female owner watched P.S. I Love You just now, when she should be doing her research proposal. I don’t blame her. Who wants to work on something so boring on a Friday night? Friday nights used to be her party nights.

The movie depicted marriage as a sweet and heart-warming experience (is love really that sweet?!). Certain segments of the show evoked memories of what my ex-male owner used to say or do for my female owner. For example, while holding her arms in a heated argument, the male lead asked his wife, “what do you want? I know what I want, what I want is in my hands now.”

My female owner could never answer that question definitively. There were things she wanted… but only if certain criteria were met. Like she would marry him, but only if he got himself a stable job and stablise himself financially. And if he could not secure a stable job, then she would want other things (like delay marriage and progress in other areas of her life).

But anyway, my female owner was able to watch the show, detached from the past. So that’s good news. She’s all good now, single and free. No bitterness of the past.. except that she spent too long in that relationship. Waste of her youth, she says.

Temperament and Personality questionnaire

Things my female owner do when she is procrastinating...

Completing a dubious online questionnaire...

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/surveys/Temperament/index.html

____________________________________________
The following information summarises your scores on ten personality dimensions and includes a brief description of how each of these dimensions influences non-melancholic depression, based on our research at the Black Dog Institute.

Each of the personality dimensions below may increase or decrease the chance of non-melancholic depression. However, it is important to remember that non-melancholic depression usually results from an interaction between stressful events and personality, not personality alone, and that there are other factors involved. Therefore a high score on any of the scales below does NOT mean that depression is inevitable. Rather, it is useful to identify the role of personality in an individual's episode of non-melancholic depression because such characteristics (e.g. worrying, irritability) can be modified, with the aid of a health care professional, in order to effectively treat the depression.

It is important to note the limitations to our feedback. Firstly, it is based on self-reported information and is therefore influenced by our capacity to know ourselves. Secondly, the dimensions are not entirely precise and scores on each scale are capable of being very much influenced by a range of other personality characteristics and current mood. Thus, we emphasise that we cannot declare that our judgements are necessarily accurate.

'Anxious worrying':
You scored 15 on this scale. High scores (18 and over) indicate a greater tendency to become stressed, worried and anxious. If unaddressed, excessive anxious worrying can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression.

'Perfectionism':
You scored 26 on this scale. High scores (31 and over) are associated with a tendency to be very responsible and reliable, have high standards for oneself and to be highly committed to task and duties. While perfectionism can be a constructive characteristic, when extremely high it can actually limit one's functioning. High scorers on this dimension are somewhat less likely to get depressed than the general population. However, certain events can trigger a severe depression. These stressful events tend to involve loss of control in an important area, or the feeling that one's pride has been hurt.

'Personal reserve':
You scored 11 on this scale. High scores (17 and over) are associated with a tendency to keep one's inner feelings to oneself. People high on 'personal reserve' tend to be reluctant to let friends and acquaintances get to know them too well. Scoring high on 'personal reserve' can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression, particularly following events that challenge concerns about closeness.

'Irritability':
You scored 7 on this scale. High scores (21 and over) are associated with a tendency to be quick-tempered and to 'externalise' stress by becoming 'snappy' and irritated by little things. Scoring high on this dimension indicates an increased risk to brief episodes of non-melancholic depression.

'Social avoidance':
You scored 14 on this scale. High scores (17 and over) on this dimension are associated with a tendency to be introverted and to keep to oneself, while those low on this dimension tend to be very sociable. High scores indicate a moderately increased risk to non-melancholic depression.

'Self-focused':
You scored 1 on this scale. High scores (9 and over) are associated with a tendency to prioritise one's own needs over the needs of others. People high on the 'self-focused' dimension can be more likely to develop depression when their needs are not met. However, these depressive episodes tend to be relatively brief, often because the individual externalises their frustration.

'Self-criticism':
You scored 12 on this scale. High scores (10 and over) are associated with a tendency to be quite tough on oneself. An ongoing style of self-blame and self-criticism can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression. However, it is important to note that most people become more self-critical when they are depressed. Thus, if you are currently depressed, a high score on this scale does not necessarily indicate an ongoing style of self-criticism.

'Interpersonal sensitivity':
You scored 11 on this scale. High scores (14 and over) are associated with a tendency to worry about rejection or abandonment. Feeling rejected in an important relationship is a common trigger for non-melancholic depression amongst people with high interpersonal sensitivity.

'Co-operativeness':
You scored 28 on this scale. High scores (20 and over) on this scale are associated with a tendency to be generally helpful, compassionate, empathic and get along well with others.

'Effectiveness':
You scored 15 on this scale. High scores (18 and over) on this scale indicate an ability to cope well with different situations and to be confident in problem-solving. People who are particularly low on the 'effectiveness' dimension may have an increased risk of developing non-melancholic depression if they encounter a stressful situation which is beyond their coping skills.

counseling

My female owner had a mini-counselling session with her trained counselor friend last night. After a while of talking/ typing (since it’s MSN), the friend commented that her counseling skills had improved.

Wahaha. Always one for feedback, my female owner asked in what ways and the friend highlighted that her questions provoked more thinking whereas in the past, she was more directive.

Yay! An endorsement from a trained personnel. My female owner is heading in the right direction.

The power of asking the right questions.

Actually, my female owner had never been trained in counseling. She didn’t pursue that module in school and learnt her hand-me-down skills from her ex-colleagues at work, some of whom hated to do counseling! And using those hand-me-down skills (thankfully she was armed with a short stint at a mental hospital), she had to assess lay people on their aptitude to be a para-counselor, conduct workshops to train them in counseling and provide counseling to others who need it.

Going to Brisbane, she starts to learn the science behind the art and is now able to apply the techniques with greater appreciation.

day

My female owner woke up this morning, wondering which day of the week it was. Monday? Tuesday? She absolutely lost track. Imagine her glee when she realised, many moments later, that she has reached FRIDAY!

Wow!

Creeping closer to her EDR (expected day of return).

report

My female owner finally realised one good thing (yes, just one) about having had to conduct countless 2-hr long psychological interviews and then to churn out 6-7pages of reports for graduates who wish to join her ex-organisation. And the one good thing is, she has acquired the ability to draw from different sources of information and integrate them to produce quality psychological reports.

What happened was that today, she had to show her new clinical supervisor some of her past written reports. He was impressed by what he read and complimented her style of writing. He concluded that he would not need to allocate time to brush up her report-writing skills. (My cynical female owner thought that it could also be that he was expecting poor English from an international student. Hur hur. Apparently, many people are surprised when they hear my female owner speaking fluent English.)

Those yucky hours were not spent in vain after all.

SC

Saying farewell is hard.

My female owner said a cyber farewell to her stranger-turned-colleague-turned-companion-sister-in-Christ-social-support-BBQ-organiser-light-of-the-office-awesome-friend a couple of days ago.

SC entered her life as the next junior in the office in 2006. Their offices were located next to each other. As the both of them were usually the only ones in that wing of the office, they spent many random moments talking over the cubicle wall that separates their office space.

SC demonstrated to my female owner what it was like, to take things in one's own stride, to do everything in joy and to be humble. They had similar difficulties in the office, but SC was still the sunshine girl, smiling at every situation, refusing to allow anything to get her down.

In addition, SC was very very driven. All along, she wanted to pursue a PhD in clinical psychology in the United States. Her passion, conviction and faith in God (to provide the way for her) led her to prepare for the notoriously difficult GMAT and go knocking on doors to get academic support from people in the field.

SC's faith in God and perserverance was rewarded when she snagged a Masters place in the Columbia University in New York City. One step closer to her goal. And so, after more than a year of preparation, she left Sunny Singapore on Tuesday, all geared up to fulfill her dream.

It's so hard to say goodbye even when you are not there to see a good friend leave for (near) good. My female owner needs to get used to the idea that she would not be able to catch-up with SC when she returns to Singapore. An irrelevant but good thing to look forward to is that her Librarian Fren would be returning to Singapore soon.

She wonders however, if this group of ex-colleagues-turned-friends would ever have a full reunion where everyone would be present (yes, even the non-commital ones!)

therapeutic

Having completed about 85hrs of direct client contact (my female owner needs 115hrs more to pass her internship), my female owner has reached a stage where she wants to undergo psychotherapy herself. The experience, she reckons, would be helpful in understanding what her clients go through as they come to see her week after week. In addition, she expects it to be therapeutic, addressing some of the misses in her life.

Any recommendations anyone?

8

My brothers are turning 8 next month!

end

My female owner ended another therapeutic relationship today. Well, sort-of. The set of parents was one of her first clients when she first started her clinical work. They came to the clinic because they were having problems managing their 9-year-old daughter. Non-compliance, temper tantrums and laziness.

They are young and modern, obviously doing well in life. They are also expecting a baby in September. From the very beginning, my female owner had problems getting them to do therapy homework. They either claimed that nothing adverse happened during the week or that they did their homework but forgot to bring. Even though dad is not the biological father, he was more conscientious than mum. Nonetheless, they were both attentive and motivated, often quoting what my female owner said in the previous session (which my female owner obviously didn’t remember saying).

Anyway, in July, Yuppie Parents requested to take an extended break because they were in the midst of renovating and moving house. They said they would be back in mid-August. Today, my female owner decided to make contact with Yuppie Mum because she knew that Yuppie Mum was going to give birth. As expected, Yuppie Mum sounded flustered and disorganised but she eventually calmed down and spoke coherently to my female owner.

She was a little shaken when my female owner proposed closing their file in view that they would not be able to come into the clinic for quite a while and my female owner had to move on to another clinic. She was reluctant to continue with another psychologist and wanted assurance that my female owner would be able to pick up their case again when they came back. This was obviously something that my female owner was not able to promise but my female owner told her to call nonetheless when they are ready. Yuppie Mum went on to ask about my female owner’s holiday, school and future plans (crossing some boundaries here but that’s Yuppie Mum for you).

It warmed my female owner’s heart when Yuppie Mum told her that she had been a great help to them and that they would want to come in, even if it was just to say thank you and goodbye.

Ahhh… the perks of clinical work - knowing that you made a difference to a family.

boundary

My female owner just ended telephone therapy with a father client who was sent by the courts to attend a parenting programme at her clinic. Although she did not conduct the full-day training, her role was to carry out 4 weekly telephone consultations (30mins each) to guide him through the contents. The problem was that he was allowed 2hr supervised time per fortnight with his toddler daughter. Hence, there was nothing much about parenting that they could talk about during each telephone consultation.

Estranged from his wife and denied access to his daughter and possibly lonely, the client then started pouring out his life history to her. He happened to be involved in the same line of work with her, pursuing a PhD (sweat! My female owner can’t help but muse that she always ends up with clients who are more qualified than her. She had a previous mother client who is an academic staff in her field). In addition, he is currently working with juvenile youths in the forensic setting. Just her cup of tea.

Anyway, my female owner got the sense that he was getting too close for comfort during last week’s telephone consultation as he started asking her about her schoolwork and private life. This week was worse. Possibly because he knew it was going to the last session, he kept on talking his issues, repeating them over and over again, for an hour!

Well, my female owner, not one to interrupt or to cut short a conversation, found it really difficult to end the call. Ending the call was traumatic, coz when she ended with the usual “you can call the clinic if you want to come in to work through other issues”, the client asked if she would be the one attending to him. And when she said it depends on the allocation, he said that he hoped to be able to meet her for coffee one day and said “well, you have my number”. My female owner stammered through to say something along the lines that it was not appropriate but didn’t think that her message got through, coz he made her take down his email address.

My female owner can just imagine her supervisor marking her down for failure to handle boundary issues.

wakeful

It’s amazing how a 3km jog made a difference to my female owner’s sleeping habits. Ever since winter started, my female owner had trouble waking up in the morning and often snoozed till the last possible moment (or sometimes past the moment… and end up being late). This morning (despite it being Monday), she woke up with a clear mind and got out of bed easily. Her need to snooze was just not there (and mind you, it’s not because she had something gleeful to look forward to in the day).

She was shocked at the difference and given that she did not do any different except to jog, she figured that the difference was due to the 3km jog she had last night with a couple of her church friends. Yes, after a halt of a few months, some of them actually went jogging again last night (in cold chilly winter). My female owner was probably at her whiniest ever, about the cold, the wind and having to jog (the thing is, no one forced her to jog!). My personal take is that she’s just so conflicted. Her logic was in disagreement with her body and emotions. And her emotions (relief at being able to exercising + reluctance to exercise) were facing some internal discord.

Anyway, so they took the same route as they did when they first started in Feb. The jog was nostalgic in a sense, coz that was an activity which she started doing when she first arrived in Brisbane. It was like going down memory lane, reliving the thoughts, sensations and feelings she once experienced as an alien to the country. The familiar mental mantra she repeats to herself to keep going despite wanting to stop.. And going through the same route again after so many months, she feels a little less alien-ish but still apprehensive about things to come.

The “wakeful” effects of the jog lasted the morning and she did not feel sleepy during class. The only thing is that her left knee has acted up again.. so climbing stairs and sometimes walking brings about soreness in that area…

The perils of aging… and gaining weight. Wahaha. That’s why I rather not walk around and prefer to stay under the Trolley. Best way to prevent joint pain.

five

5 years ago, on 13 August, my female started her first day of work. She was introduced to her work buddy, E, who didn’t like her at first. The animosity evaporated about two weeks later, when the pair was sent for an overnight field trip to Batam. Their mission was to get business contacts from a Singapore-Batam businessmen dinner so that they could establish a network to propagate their organisation’s safe sex message.

E was to make a lasting impact on my female owner’s outlook on life. The two of them quickly form a strong alliance at work. Despite the more than 5 years age gap between them, they shared a telepathy and communication style that others could only watch and appreciate in amazement. At the same time, my female owner found that E was fiercely guarded about her personal life, to the extent that E did not want to reveal her birth-date. My female owner found out later that they shared the same birth-date! This, she felt, explained the chemistry between them.

Anyway, I am digressing again. All I meant to say after my first sentence is that, when my female owner started work, she wondered how the next five years would be. For instance, how would five years of working change her. Well, she has just crossed the five-year mark. It was certainly an eventful half-decade, with things panning out differently from what she had envisioned her life to be, when she stepped out into the working world as a naive 18+++ year old girl.

Hmm… I wonder how the next five years would be like for her. Things should remain pretty much the same for us turtles.. Stability is our core value.

skyward

My female owner says that today is a “bad day” in terms of her confidence and stress level. She had set aside the day to plan for her research project which is so big that it will take a dedicated year (and AUD24 000) to complete.

My female owner found that she was unable to conceptualise her research question with her greatest fear revolving around being able to recruit enough participants. She was confronted with a lot of uncertainties and pressing deadlines. She desperately needs to churn out a research proposal and the ethics application by next weekend. Not to mention, the other academic requirements screaming for her attention this week. As such, her stress level accelerated skyward.

So she ended up binge-eating. The first time since she returned to Brisbane. A bar of Boost, a slice of peanut butter bread and a box of pokey… right after dinner (laksa and bubble tea). The post-dinner binge adds up to about 4000KJ, half of her energy needs in a day. Now she feels even more lousy.

(afternote)

It's really strange. I wrote the previous entry "Cardboard Testimonies" a few weeks ago but was unable to get it up on this Turtlepad. All of a sudden, without warning, the video is up. Hmmm... in true-green turtle style. Slow and steady.

Anyway, better late than never. Hope you like it.

Cardboard Testimonies

My female owner cried from the point when she saw the young girl who wrote that she's addicted to METH. And the tears just kept on flowing as she saw more and more people coming up to testify of how God changed their lives.

What touched my female owner was seeing the life-changing power of God working in ordinary people's lives, in different circumstances, to restore hope, joy and peace in them. What seemed impossible to these indiviuals have been turned around by God's love, grace and faithfulness.

Awesome video.

exposed

My female owner “claimed” her EkkA holiday today and went on a full-day spree with a Singaporean friend and her local boyfriend. She found the experience really cool, especially since her friend did all the planning and navigation (unlike her usual travelling escapades where there were usually little planning and she did a lot of navigation). As a result, she was exposed to unique Aussie culture which she would have otherwise missed. One low point was that her day at EkkA ended abruptly as she had a night appointment.

The all important map

Wood-chopping competition

Sheepdog competition where the trainer had to command his sheepdog to lead three naive sheep (i.e. never been penned before) through four obstacles.

This was the hardest obstacle - leaing the sheep up the bridge

Strawberry Sundae - dont be deceived.. it's not just one strawberry, there are real strawberries lining the inside of the cone too.

sentiments

My female owner has random sentiments these days. Let me try to capture some of them:

She is starting to feel anxious about the enormity of assignments waiting to be completed.

She is getting irritated with people who want information from her, but asks close-ended, leading or presumptuous questions.

She is beginning to feel non-committal towards current commitments.

She is wondering how to address her proneness to be late and her inability to get down to doing her work.

She is beginning to let go of her life in Singapore and learning to embrace living in Brisbane.

Her clothes are still tight… but at least they are NOT getting tighter.

She still misses us, because she will tell her friends about how cute we are and our unique idiosyncrasies.

She wishes that she is more driven, aggressive and persistent.

unfair

Watching the Olympics beach volleyball competitions, my female owner couldn't help but wonder why the women get to wear bikinis (which allow guys to ogle at their good and sexy figures) while the men is fully clothed (thus covering their six-packs).

It's so unfair!

perplexed

Remember the male client who terminated on my female owner a few months ago?

There’s part 2 to the story.

His 80-year-old mother called the clinic last Friday on his instructions. He wanted his mother to inform my female owner that he was currently in hospital and that he was sorry for not contacting her earlier.

My female owner was perplexed at his actions coz he was the one who terminated on her. She called her client (or ex-client?) on Monday and learnt that he was still in hospital. Hence, she was not able to get more information.

Her clinical supervisors (now she has two) speculated that

It could be a courtesy call.
His way of testing waters/ cry for help.
A personality disorder at work (that also explained the reason for the abrupt termination).

lesbian

In her absence, my female owner’s friends had a discussion about her sexuality and whether she was in a lesbian partnership with another person (let’s call her Lessie) due to some discriminating photos. Their conclusion was that my female owner is more lesbian than Lessie! Although Lessie was physically present during the discussion, she did not ask for the reasons behind the conclusion. Apparently she was too amused and just kept laughing.

See what happens when you are not around and when your supposedly lesbian partner does not defend you? You are declared a lesbian purely on circumstantial evidence. No wonder my female owner had been sick for a while!

Ekka

My female owner says that tomorrow’s the only public holiday for the whole semester! How pathetic! Anyway, it’s the Ekka holiday, an annual show of Queensland, Australia. My female owner is not sure why it qualifies to be a public holiday (coz in Singapore, public holidays are religion-based or someone’s birthday like National Day or the New Year) but it’s a money-generating event which actually spans for 10 days.

And you know what? My female owner would be going to school tomorrow to meet her supervisor! Both working on a public holiday! She really works harder than in her previous job.

gaga

My female owner has been camping in front of the television, trying to get some work done while watching the Olympics. In a rare gaga moment, she wondered how nice it would be, if she could volunteer for the Olympics… in the men swimming competitions. Tall lean muscular hot bods aplenty for her eyes to feast. Sure way to lose weight.

Dodo fits that criteria in the turtleworld. Maybe a little on the "short" side but definitely athletic, lean and muscular.

voice

Some of you may know that my female owner had been ill for more than a week. She spent an hour tossing and turning in bed last night, because of her dry and itchy cough. She knew it was at least an hour, because she heard her handphone beeped when the battery was fully charged.

So she woke up today with less than 7 hours sleep as she had an early lunch appointment. Anyway, she went to church after that. At the end of the sermon, the preacher invited those who needed healing or had other prayer needs to go up to the front to get prayed for. My female owner was very reluctant to do so, because of her shyness and doubt about “what if I go up and don’t get healed? So malu”. Also, she felt that her voice would come back in a day or two, so there was no need to get prayed for. Anyway, she felt God prompting her with the word TRUST and reluctantly went up.

A church leader prayed for her and even though my female owner didn’t say much about her other issues besides her need for healing, the church leader was pretty accurate about my female owner’s inner issues.

Anyway, my female owner noticed that her sore voice didn’t go away (sidenote: she indulged in fries during lunch). She wasn’t really concerned about being healed quickly anyway. Happily (sort-of), my female owner went home to do her own stuff (ie she didn’t join her friends for dinner).

Even when she was watching the Olympics, she found herself praying at the same time. And suddenly, a sense of calm fell upon her and she felt prompted to test her voice…. And to her pleasant surprise, her voice is fully restored! My female owner was left speechless (pun intended).

struggles

One of my female owner’s gripes about being in Brisbane is not having people around her whom she will relate to emotionally. Traditionally, she has been selective about opening up to people in her life. Even in her previous relationship, she found it so difficult to talk about emotional issues (save for workplace-related anger!) that she found herself communicating on a largely superficial level.

So tonight, it was rare that she and her Singaporean friend had a short heart-to-heart chat as they walked home together, sharing about their struggles as international postgrad students.

The transience of friendships formed in the new country.

The slow but sure drifting apart of friends in the home country. Friends move on, through different life stages (marriage, parenthood and career progression) while students remain as students. Divergent concerns, interests and issues result.

The family and loved ones left behind for many years.

The difficulties in adjusting back to the home country upon return. New mindsets, expectations and even language.

The dilemma of staying on in the new country for work or to return to the home country where (see previous point).

(My female owner didn’t mention about the pets left behind!)

National Day

It’s Singapore’s birthday today! Happy National Day!

My female owner has never really enjoyed National Day in the past few years. The main reason was that she was always working either on National Day or around National Day, performing work duties which she did not believe in. Last year, she managed to get out of working on National Day and went on a post-break-up trip with Potahto to food paradise Penang.

This year, she spent National Day in Brisbane of course. A last minute jio by her Singaporean postgrad friends saw her going to school in the evening to watch the National Day Parade via live webcam with fellow Singaporeans. The event was organised by the Singapore Student Association.

Note: patriotism has never been in my female owner’s blood. There was a year when she watched a movie during the time when the parade was being telecasted.

She was amazed at how being in a foreign land greatly strengthens one’s national identity and sense of attachment. For example, when the national anthem was being sung at the parade, the lecture-theatre-full of students actually stood up at attention to SING the national anthem. Now, to stand up at attention at will is already amazing. To sing the national anthem, when most students probably stopped singing in Secondary School, was certainly an eye-opening experience for my female owner. As if to prove that the theatre of students were singing with gusto, there was a brief moment when the sound (not visual) stopped transmitting, and you can heard everyone singing “Majulah, Singapura” (ya, coincidentally the sound stopped at those lines). The same act of respect was repeated when the pledge was recited and the national anthem sang (again) towards the end of the celebration.

Watching the national day parade in a theatre full of Singaporeans in a foreign land was really an enriching experience for my female owner. Despite not being physically in Singapore, the crowd cheered, clapped and celebrated as though they were part of the spectators at the stadium.

My female owner certainly felt a sense of patriotism which she never felt before when she was in Singapore. And cheesy as it may sound, she found another reason/ motivator to do well in her programme – to do Singapore proud. Wahaha. She can just see some eyeballs rolling…

sick still

My female owner is sick of being sick. Been the longest time ever she’s sick. She got fever again last night and turned in earlier than usual. Woke up this morning, not knowing if she was still having fever. One thing’s for sure though, her voice is still dodgy. People say that she sounds like she has a bad flu. She msned her father to say that she has lost her voice. Her father told her to report the loss to the police….

She went for a house-warming in the evening and consumed food which aggravated her throat. Now honey doesn’t even seem effective anymore.

strange

My female owner has just gotten into gear one for her second semester (i.e. just starting doing work) when she experienced a spate of strange happenings today. Firstly, she woke up with less voice than yesterday. She has a tutor meeting (0900hr) and three clients planned for the day. Client A (1000hr) is a new one. Client B (1830hr) is a set of argumentative parents. Client C (2000hr) is a single parent.

So she went to school, wondering if she should cancel client A. As usual, she took really long to decide, because she was weighing the pros and cons. Pros – Wont scare off Client A with her horrible voice. Affect rapport and things like that. Cons – very last minute (it was already 0900hr), might create a bad impression. In the end, she decided to call the client and give the client the choice of whether to come in. In the end, the client said that she couldn’t come in anyway (yes, and forgot to call).

So she croaked through the tutor meeting and went off to the supermarket to get some food and honey. Now she had to decide whether to see both clients, just one or none at all. Her preference was to see both but her voice may be totally gone by then. If she has to cancel any appointment, she prefers to cancel Client B because she reckons she won’t be able to overpower their volume when they start arguing. But that leaves her with Client C at 2000hr. So she might as well struggle through both clients to make it worth her while going back to school at night. And she doesn’t want to cancel Client C because she is a single parent and my female owner wants to make things as seamless for her as possible.

When she got home around lunch time, she received an email message to say that Client B would not be coming. Yay in a way. So she would just be seeing Client C tonight. To make it worth her while going to school, she decided that she would pop into the library at about 1730hr to read a PhD thesis that her supervisor instructed her to read. To her best knowledge, theses are available in hard copies in the library and they cannot be borrowed out.

She spent a while reading a book to gain insight on her own psychological issues (?!) and suddenly received a call from the clinic at 1400hr, to say that her new supervisor is waiting for her. She was shocked coz she thought their FIRST meeting was scheduled to be next Thursday. Because she was home, the meeting was cancelled, with my female owner feeling so bad, coz her supervisor does not work in the university (i.e. he made his way to the university to meet her and possible run other errands?). Plus, it was their first meeting!

And so, she spent the day reading up on Autism, overdosing on honey and lozenges to get her voice back for Client C. Just before she was leaving for the library in the evening, she decided to look up the reference number for that thesis she was to read so that she could head straight to the right shelf… and realised that the thesis, for some reason, was available online! Ah, so she spent even more time at home reading the thesis and finally reached school at 1900hr.

Heading for the clinic phone to check for messages, she found out that Client C was not able to come in tonight as her car was still under repair. So my female owner ended doing some administrative task which she had planned to do on another day.

So tally for the day: 1 still-to-be-found voice, 3 client cancellations (100%, never happened before!), 1 missed supervision session, 1 wasted trip to school in the evening…. All in a day’s work! No sweat.

grandma

My female owner doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry… but I reckon that maybe it’s better to laugh… coz it makes you happier.

She had been struggling with this ambivalent 56-year-old grandmother client who is taking care of her grandson full-time. The first time grandma and her daughter (i.e. the grandson’s aunt) came in was 2 months ago. Since then, they had defaulted on her thrice. And 2 times, without calling earlier to inform. Because they are 1900hr clients, my female owner ended up waiting for a few hours till nightfall for them. Grandma also never calls back to book another appointment even when she promises too.

Hence, my female owner decided that she would drop them (despite needing clients). So she called up grandma last week and said the magic line “it seems as if this is not a good time for you to come in, perhaps you would like to be put back on the waitlist?” And grandma’s response was “nono, you can speak to me now”. Not so magical eh since grandma didn’t get what my female owner was saying. And she ended up booking them in for a session this evening at 1900hr.

My female owner’s supervisor told her to send a “contact-us-by-certain-date-or-we-will-close-your-file” letter if they did not turn up tonight. And my female owner spent the whole day hoping that they would not turn up (and even went around telling people her plight) so that she can drop them and concentrate on more deserving clients.

Alas, they turned up at 1900hr sharp. And so, they are still her clients. As usual, grandma was ambivalent and doubting, causing my female owner to struggle with her croaking voice to soothe her anxiety.

again

My female owner says that she had high fever last night. It seems as if the flu bug keeps circulating around, coz every other person is down with a runny nose, cough or fever. So it seems like she didn’t really recover from her first bout of illness last week and got struck down again last night. It’s like the first time it ever happened to her, to fall sick, recover and fall sick soon after.

Oh well… maybe she needs more time to get used to Brisbane… and its weather.

tutor

My female owner had a time-out weekend where she did absolutely no schoolwork. The closest she came to was to dedicate 2 hours to preparing for her tutorials this afternoon. She spent the rest of her time sleeping, watching DVDs and going out. Somehow she feels guilty for being paid 9 hours for just 2.hours of work. The pay is pretty good too. For just 9 hours of work/ week (or 36 hours a month), she earns the equivalent of a low-wage worker in Singapore.

This financial provision is something which she thanks God for. Previously she prayed to get a tutor job this semester and despite her lack of experience, she was allocated a position. Her pay covers her daily expenses (and a litte more). As mentioned, she works only 2.5hours a week. Most tutors have 3 one-hour class, but she has only 2 one-hour classes. Tutors usually have a full class load of 25 students. She has a total number of 40-5 students (down from the usual 50). This is important, coz apparently tutors have to make student assignments. So the less students they have, the less they have to mark. Some courses require their tutors to attend lectures. She is not required to. Tutors often meet for an hour/ week for a tutors' meeting. Hers last only 30mins, because there are only 2 tutors and 1 course coordinator. In short, she probably has to put in less hours than the average tutor.

Okay, so back to the guilt part. Because she felt guitly being overpaid, she spent some time reading through some background materials in order to prepare for tutorials today.
My female owner wanted to be a tutor for two reasons. One, because she wants to teach at a polytechnic/ higher institute of learning in future, she hopes that the tutoring experience will beef up her cv. Second, she is tired of not having money to call her own. While she is unlikely to be able to save up any money from her tutoring pay (ie cannot go for any holidays even), at least she is supporting herself throughout this semester. I think I mentioned before that her supervisor also offered her RA work. My female owner was considering it for a while… until a second year senior (also a Singaporean) cautioned her about "spreading yourself thinly".

Familiar words of advice.

mooncake

My female owner saw mooncakes in the Asian grocery supermarket and wished she could buy some. But alas, the cost of a box... can cover her grocery budget for a week. Contrast this to previously when she would buy boxes of mooncake in Singapore for different people/ families without batting an eyelid.

Alas... another cost of pursuing her overseas psychology dream: access to (all kinds of) mooncakes.

six month

My female owner has been away for exactly six months. Been a tough half a year for her. Many students enjoy studying overseas because of the freedom and autonomy that comes with living apart from their parents and experiencing a new culture. My female owner says that things are different for her, because she already has freedom and autonomy as a working adult in Singapore. While she is experiencing a new culture now, her freedom and autonomy have been, ironically, invaded and reduced.

Anyway, when she first left Singapore six months ago, she wished that she could catch a glimpse of how the next six months would be. Now that she has lived and survived those six months, you would think that it would be easier for her to be mentally prepared for another six months. The truth is, she is not confident of being able to meet up to the challenges confronting her this semester. i.e. going through it once doesn’t make the second time any easier for her. In fact, now she has anticipatory anxiety of what lies ahead.

But my female owner says that those are her human insecurities and fears acting up. Deep down, she knows that her God is faithful and in control. Just as He provided for her needs during the first semester and blessed her with many good things, she believes that she will see more of His goodness and grace this second semester.

sunshine

My female owner’s parents are getting used to her absence. I know because I can tell that they are getting on comfortable with each other’s company. Coming home from work after dinner, resting in front of the telly box to watch Korean dramas (yes! At their age.) They are also less anxious to catch my female owner on MSN.


Dodo is still missing my female owner very much. Among the four of us turtles, he is the most attached to her. When Nana was still alive, Dodo used to follow Nana's lead to climb onto my female owner’s lap, whenever she sat on the floor in the Balcony. Dona, being aloof, didn’t bother about interacting with my female owner. Nanook and myself never picked up that habit when we moved over. Maybe it’s a boy turtle thing, to climb into a female’s lap? Not to mention that whenever Dodo had a swollen arm (from walking too much maybe?!), my female owner would take leave to bring him to the vet to sort him out. That, unfortunately, entails painful injections, which Dodo accepted with gusto.

He’s just different from me. Nothing gets him down. Sunshine turtle.

cardboard testimonies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdXX6lzbo78&feature=related

My female owner started crying when she saw this video clip. She was touched by life-changing power of God, His love and grace seen in the lives of these people. God is real.

research

My female owner finally settled on her thesis supervisor. This thesis is apparently so big that it will take up the entire third year of her programme, at an exorbitant fee of at least AUD$24000. No lectures, no tutorials, nothing, except the supervisor’s guidance. Pretty good way of making money, I must say.

Actually, my female owner didn’t give much thought into choosing a supervisor (i.e. she didn’t go shopping around for supervisors, but just decided on the first one who came to mind). That’s pretty much how she started her second relationship with my ex-male owner – without much thought. She’s like that. She always believed in her amazing (and often non-existent) ability to adapt to people. 6.5 years later, after a failed relationship and clashes with quirky ex-colleagues, she learnt to be slightly wiser.

The most outstanding characteristic about her supervisor is that he reminds her of her flute teacher. Wahaha. Long-suffering friends who supported my female owner through her downs and downers (not much ups) of flute education would remember how stressed and traumatised my female owner was in attending flute lessons.

While she enjoyed the learning process, she had to grapple with her flute teacher’s eccentricity and mood swings. He was point-blank blunt and hardly overtly encouraging. No one could understand why my female owner stuck with him (neither could I). There were times when my female owner came so close to switching teachers but she (as mentioned above) tends not to switch around once she has committed to something/ someone. Moreover, she could see his silent dedication to his students and appreciated the stability and reliability she saw in him.

Anyway, this supervisor scared the daylight out of many of her coursemates previously when he was teaching them in one module. He was strict, provocative (intellectually of course) and non-conventional. My female owner was slightly shakened by him too, but realised quite quickly that he is a softie and caring teacher at heart. It could be that her coursemates were not able to connect with him because he’s an Asian.

So there you go, a professional relationship formed, with a snap of your fingers.