Time passes slowly, giving me the opportunity to savour life, ponder on its mysteries and question their meanings with those who would pause for a moment in their busy lives, to have a cup of coffee with me.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
birthday
In addition to that, my female owner has earlier decided to celebrate her birthday across two continents for the first time in her life. Hence, she would be doing an early celebration with her Australian friends and going back home in time to celebrate with her family and friends. With regards to the early celebration, for the first time in her life (or as far as she can remember), someone has actually offered to plan a party for her. And this party is not just organising a dinner plus buying a birthday cake/ gift but actually banding people together to cook a dinner (western style apparently), complete with appropriate ambience. The flip side is that because it is labour intensive, only a handful of friends can be invited.
Sounds exciting; something for her to look forward to, as the year closes in on her like a rushing river.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
5
Cheers to more good years ahead!
Monday, October 25, 2010
accompany
She needed her metime, even if it meant just clearing emails and other admin stuff. My female owner had such an intense weekend that she didn’t quite realise that it was over until it dawned upon her on Sunday night that she didn’t have the chance to do her laundry. And even today, she had an intense(ly social) day.
Here’s what I mean.
Saturday – woke up early. Spent whole day with Emo Sponge, to accompany him for house-hunting and ended up engaging in “deeper” chats. Joined by two other friends for early dinner and night movie. Met more people briefly at the cinema (after her movie) coz they were watching the movie after.
Sunday – woke up early to accompany housemate to the Gold Coast to test-drive her dream car. Joined by Emo Sponge for early lunch and beach-watching. Went to church, caught up with two friends whom she had not seen for a month. Went for big group dinner.
Monday – woke up early to help Emo Sponge with his rental car issues (i.e. driving through heavy traffic). Proceeded to the hospital to sign papers for employment (1.75hrs!). Went on to uni to meet a friend for lunch and to accompany him for grocery-shopping. Back to the Valley to help Emo Sponge with car.
No wonder she was flat-out. She had been accompanying people to do all the stuff that they needed to get done, that she had forgotten about herself. This is to the point where she is too disengaged to cook or even get groceries.
ES: “didn’t you get groceries when you were with your friend?”
FO: “nooo… was too lazy to…”
ES (grins): “ain’t groceries a must? Not a luxury?”
FO: “oh yah! Aiyah, dun care liao..”
Friday, October 22, 2010
第一次
Emo Sponge reciprocated that he had also given her many of his 第一次 and started listing them out.
1st iphone tutorial he ever given
1st drinking of white rabbit beer
1st eating of my female owner’s mango pudding (this doesn’t make sense)
1st sitting through 2 guys threatening them with axes (that’s a story by itself)
1st rental car rides
1st benz repair experience
1st cooking of Korean pancakes
Later on, my female owner also remembered that she had her first fishing trip with him and someone else on the same boat. And many more, if she bothers to recall.
My female owner then reasoned that it would be fun to track the kind of 第一次 you have with your close friends. Try it!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
seed
What did she tell her friends when she was about to start looking for a job? She said she was trying for any temp office job coz i) she has not graduated yet so not many places would employ her, ii) she is provisionally registered so again, not many places would be willing to take her, iii) she is an international student, so working hours and visa regulations would be a put-off for employers, iv) with only three months left, how would it be possible that she finds a locum position.
Hence, her conclusion was that it would be easier for her to secure a temp admin job. But God had a different plan in mind. He brought to mind a random conversation she had with her host who is a very good networker. She advised my female owner to inform her contacts (especially supervisors) of her plans to look for work in OZ, coz if she didn’t spread the news, they won’t know her needs. Because of that random conversation she had weeks ago, my female owner wrote to her supervisor at the hospital, asking for “lobangs”. One thing led to another and lo and behold, a job that fits her schedule in more ways than one.
How about a moment to thank God for guiding her path, leading her to the right people and increasing her favour with people? My female owner compromised on her situation and said “a temp admin job will do” but God said “no, I have better things in store in you. You have limited Me. You didn’t think I am able to provide for you, that’s what you compromised and said any job is better than none. You need to think bigger, believe that I can do much more than the natural. Because My love for you necessitates that I take care of you. Even this job, don’t see it as a job to kill time until the end of the year. Believe that there is much more that is going to come out from this seed.”
The wonderful thing is also that in these past three weeks, her time had been filled meaningfully. She managed to complete a manuscript for publication, write the draft of another manuscript, offer emergency help to friends during office hours, read some personal development books, get connected with online sermons, do mini getaways, clear some psychological and spiritual clutter in her life. Without this three weeks of hiatus, she would have been just jumping from one phase of life to another.
distant
And when my female owner had to give up Sayang, her heart broke and she became distant. Disappointed that people treated animals like garbage (“why don’t you just drive somewhere and leave the cat there?”). Cross as well, “I would just leave the dog to die, rather than spend money on her surgery”.
Anyway, I hope she recovers from her emotional upheaval soon. We turtles can’t wait to see her again – counting down the days!
overthink
For example, she wanted to ask her supervisor at the private school to be her character referee (just a blanket agreement). But because my female owner knows that her supervisor is having some personal crisis, her thoughts were along the following lines:
“Would I be imposing on her at such a time like this?”
“What if she is too busy with her personal matters and my request just adds a burden to her?”
“What if she is not in the right frame of mind to help me?”
All these conjectures resulted in my female owner not asking her supervisor for help. Until this week, when she went for her second interview at the hospital and they wanted her to get a reference from this supervisor.
Even then, my female owner hesitated and had to seek assurance from Therapist Fren that it was ok to ask her supervisor at such a time. Therapist Fren’s response was wisely sound “well, it’s up to her to decide if she will help you and the important thing is that you ask”
I guess at the end of the day, my female owner is also scared of rejection. Hence, she makes up so many excuses for the other party so as to distance herself from any potential rejections.
Monday, October 18, 2010
ibethel
No prizes for guessing what she got for my female owner. Yes, monthly subscription for the website, backdated from April 2010. How blessed. Now my female owner has access to the spiritual food she has been craving for.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Nice Girl
For too long, my female owner has struggled with being “too passive” and “too nice”. Different well-meaning friends have spoken to her about these two aspects of her personality, urging her to step out and be more assertive. Finally, she is in a position to take action on her erroneous beliefs and maladaptive behaviour.
There is a questionnaire inside the book which was of much interest to my female owner.
Are you a Nice Girl?
1. Do you have a difficult time asserting yourself with service people? (for example, sending a plate of food back, telling a salesperson you are not interested.)
2. Do you get talked into things, including buying things, because you can’t say no?
3. Are you overly concerned about what people think of you?
4. Is it overly important to you that people like you?
5. Are you afraid to say how you really feel out of fear of making someone angry?
6. Do you apologise too much or too often?
7. Do you have friends or acquaintance you don’t really like or have much in common with but fell obligated to continue seeing?
8. Do you often say yes to invitations because you don’t want the person to feel rejected?
9. Do you tend to give in because it makes you feel selfish if you refuse to help someone?
10. Are you afraid people will dislike you if you’re not cooperative?
11. Do you have trouble speaking up as soon as something or someone is unfair to you?
12. Do you hesitate telling someone that he or she has hurt your feelings or made you angry because you don’t want him or her to feel bad?
13. Do you avoid telling someone he or she has upset you because you don’t think it will do any good or will only cause a big problem between you?
14. Do you have people in your life who take advantage of you?
15. O you often take the blame for things just to avoid an argument or to avoid rejection or abandonment?
16. Do you often make excuses for people’s poor behaviour, telling yourself that they didn’t mean it or they didn’t know better?
17. Do you avoid conflicts or confrontation at all costs?
18. Do you get a terrible feeling when someone is angry with you?
19. Do you give someone the benefit of the doubt even when others tell you this person is trouble?
20. Do you give people another chance even when they continue with the same hurtful or inappropriate behaviour?
21. Do you tell yourself that you don’t have a right to complain about a person’s behaviour if you’ve ever been guilty of the same behaviour?
22. Are you attracted to bad boys or people with a large dark side?
23. Do you strongly believe in being fair even when other people are treating you unfairly?
If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you have some Nice Girl in you no matter how assertive, successful, or self-actualised you think you are.
If you answered yes to more than five of these questions, you still have some work to do in terms of changing the way you view yourself in the world.
If you answered yes to more than ten of these questions, you have an extreme version of the Nice Girl syndrome and will need to do some serious work to rid yourself of the negative and false beliefs that are basically dictating your life.
Sammy's Adventures: The Secret Passage - trailer
My female owner is looking for someone to watch this movie with her when she returns to Singapore. Anyone interested?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
outliers
Firstly, the concept of conscious cultivation, where middle-income parents tend to bring up their children in a way where they are not afraid of communicating with authority figures (e.g. telling doctors how they are feeling), as compared to low-income parents who tend to model passive behaviour to their children.
Secondly, the concept of entitlement, of proactively getting what you deserve, and not letting those things slide because you think you are not entitled to them.
Thirdly, the 10000-hr rule, where success don’t come to people instantly, not even talented people. Rather, it is a matter of hardcore practice and diligence.
Worth a read, she says. Especially if you are a passive person.
old fren
Anyway, my female owner recently took the trouble to get his contact number because she was visiting Sydney and thought he was based there. Turns out that he is based in Byron Bay, just two hours’ drive away from her. So near! And so they agreed to meet up and finally did so, on Sunday.
My female owner says that there is nothing like meeting an old friend (13 years of friendship to be exact). And it’s even more comforting when it happens in a foreign land. Although she knew that he was sporty and an outdoor kind of guy, she didn’t really anticipate that he enjoyed nature the way she did – just exploring, driving around and roughing it out when the weather turns nasty (it was her first time hiking in the rain). So despite the constant downpour, they ended up doing what they set out to do – Natural Bridge.
Natural Bridge, Springbrook National Park is a most unusual geological feature created over millions of years by water tumbling through the roof of a basalt cave.
the week-long downpour had resulted in a large volume of water, thus creating big waterfalls check out the opening where the water rushes through this perspective was taken from Cave Creek, where glow worms can be seen at nightthe aerial view
They also went around exploring other lookouts, targeting waterfalls coz that was what he liked to see. And what better time to chase for waterfalls than during the rainy season!
My female owner says that some things don’t change, and that includes him driving her around (sending her back to Brisbane even) and paying for her meals. In fact, my female owner got scolded for paying for their dinner, coz he felt it was not right that she was paying when she was not working. Just like the old times.
Good for her, she found another (short-term) hiking buddy.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
mimi
My female owner says that Sayang looks/ behaves differently now. With so much attention and human beings around, he is no longer as frisky and attentive. For example, he no longer readily offers his underbelly for stroking. He also has a more adult look. Not as cute as before, but still posseses an easy temperament that makes him endearing. My female owner managed to take some photos of him, looking innocent and young again though.
And oh, she is very proud of the adjustments he made, from being an outdoor cat to an indoor car, from an English speaking household to a Chinese speaking household, from having few baths to one every week, and from being called Sayang to being called Mimi! Must be really confusing for him.
dark eyes, ginger colour, resembling puss in boots!
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
hunt
Really being idle is not her style, but yet also her style. How shall I put it? My female owner struggles to cope with having nothing purposeful to do, but yet there are some things waiting for her to attend to – like writing manuscripts, checking up on PR/ registration matter, practicing her instruments etc. I guess she just needs to have some kind of deadline or event to look forward to, or she will end up feeling lost and meaningless.
On the job-hunt side, my female owner has sent in 11 applications for temporary administration positions. She has received three rejections and non-responses from the rest. She reckons that she is not selling herself right. She knows that she is “overqualified” but has already customised her resume to highlight her relevant administration skills.
She is also trying to hookwink herself into a temporary locum position at a local hospital. Not sure if things will work out because she has not graduated yet. Worse comes to worst, she will just count down to her mother’s coming on 4 Dec. But that is like 2 months away! What a waste of time not to be doing anything constructive.
Sunday, October 03, 2010
concrete
Also, she has little concrete plans about what to do, moving forward in her life. I mean, she has formulated in her head, an “ideal” plan but whether it works out in real life depends a lot on opportunities, favour (or connections?) and divine intervention.
There are some things waiting for her to do, most definitely. These include tidying up her room, sorting out her photos, doing up journal articles for publication etc, the last of which is the most annoying of course. Looks like there is no better time to do this than now. All she has to do is probably to stop procrastinating and get herself moving.
Over the past two days, the most significant thing she has done was to apply for temporary administration positions. She has not heard from any employers yet and in the midst of her anxiety, has to remind herself that she has barely started and needs to be more patient.