quotes for thought

In the aftermath of having her romantised idea that her choice of career would “help her to help people” torn apart by the reality of what it entails to get there, my female owner picked up three insightful quotes.

i) The best thing you can do for anyone is to listen to him
My female owner likes this phrase coz it reminds her of the human-to-human connection that everyone needs and that at the end of the day, it’s really not about how much she knows about treating disorders that matters, but how much she is able to show care and empathy to her clients (before treating them).

ii) You are not a student, you are a professional psychologist in training
This helped to put things into perspective, as my female owner is currently in her lamentive (is there such a word?) stage where she whines about how tough her course is and how little time she has to enjoy overseas student life. That’s it. She’s not a student waiting to graduate. She’s a professional, training to enhance her current skills.

iii) Your time is worth money
She finally realised why professionals in her field can command up to $200/hr for just merely “listening and talking”. The amount of training and resources put in to churn out psychologists is intensive (so many people are needed to train one person). And psychologists do lots of behind-the-therapy preparation in order to formulate cases and treat clients. (Actually, this quote was spoken in the context of her class having to charge their clients for the therapy sessions even though they are just interns. So the teacher was trying to highlight the amount of preparation/supervision that would go into each case and hence, the class should not feel bad about charging fees.)

hug

A hug can do wonders.

Today, my female owner attended a clinical placement orientation where the clinic manager briefed the class on the requirements of the placement - hours to fulfill, write-ups to hand in, presentations to prepare for, assessments which are not graded but if you dont pass, you fail the internship (i.e. you fail the entire programme), administrative procedures to adhere to, etc etc. Each presentation slide added more doom and gloom, not only to her, but the rest of the class. Suddenly the programme seems like a boot camp, where the weak would be weeded out, and the strong would remain, albeit wounded and half-dead.

By lunch time, my female owner was wallowing in self-doubt and hyper-flustered (is there such a word?). She then rushed into the computer room to check out something for the placement. Lo and behold, she met an acquaintance from Singapore. This person used to intern at my female owner's alternative office. Because my female owner was hardly at the alternate office, she didnt know that this person was also going to be at the same university doing a parallel programme. My female owner only found out when they happened to meet at the school's photo-copying room (in her usual blur fashion, she didnt even recognise the intern).

Anyway, so this acquaintance saw my female owner rushing in to use the computer and asked her what was going on. As my female owner was rattling on about the bad day, the acquaintance just opened her arms wide and gave my female owner a tight, warm hug to calm her down.

hmmm... such a sweet gesture.

Gold Coast and photos

My female owner, P and JW stayed in JW's former teachers' apartment at Surfer's Paradise. The stylishly-designed apartment was just 140 steps from the beach (which delighted my female owner a great deal. She loves beaches.) This is the view from one of the balconies. See how blue the sea is?

As usual, the customary bed shot. With beds like this, I wonder why my female owner bothers getting up so early in the mornings.

Despite the rainy/ cloudy weather, Surfer's Paradise was still a sight to behold. The vastness of the ocean, again leaves my female owner in awe of creation... and tickled the scuba-diving bug in her.

What lies beneath?

Perspective with back facing the sea.

Again, the faceless shot of her travelling buddies. My female owner actually said "smile!" Their hosts have two lovely cats who were really affectionate and curious (this was taken at their house, not the apartment). My female owner tried to take still shots of them but apparently they were camera-shy and would move away. I'm jealous of them coz they were in close proximity with my female owner. I also want!

Ah, and the home-made cuppacino/latte which Mr Host never failed to offer to brew for my female owner everytime they popped into his house. Real coffee beans with steamed milk. Such thoughtful gesture. My female owner just had to capture it on camera.

smoking tortoise

Really bored without my female owner around. So I decided to let my thoughts run wild and somehow, I started to wonder how my female owner would react... if I pick up smoking. Given her disdain for nicotine (she used to work for the government in the national control smoking programme. Her work must have been effectve coz the prevalence rate of smokers dropped even lower during her stint there. Such irony, since my male owner is an avid smoker. Opposites really attract yah?)

I think she will hang me by my tail and disown me with immediate effect. She might even put up my empty shell in the Balcony as a warning to the rest of my siblings to stay off nicotine. Even the birds which fly past the Balcony will not be spared.

Anyway, nothing is impossible and here's an article on a smoking tortoise.


BEIJING (AFP) - - A tortoise that smokes and appears to be addicted to nicotine has been discovered in China's northeastern province of Jilin, state media reported on Thursday.

The animal is the pet of a man, identified by his surname Yun, who is himself a smoker, Xinhua news agency said, quoting a local newspaper.

One day, Yun teased the tortoise by putting a cigarette butt into its mouth, and to his surprise it started to smoke it, according to the news agency.

From then on, he shared his cigarettes with his pet, Xinhua said.

"It seems to have become addicted," Yun was quoted as saying.

"Whenever I smoke in front of it, it will stick its head out of the water and fidget about until I give it the stub."

Yun proved his claim by putting a cigarette in the tortoise's mouth in front the paper's reporter and his neighbours, Xinhua quoted the newspaper as saying.

To everyone's surprise, the tortoise finished it in less than four minutes, the news agency said.

Monkeys have been know to smoke in imitation of human beings, the deputy secretary-general of Jilin's Wildlife Conservation Society told Xinhua.

But he said he had never heard of a tortoise lighting up.

Gold Coast and Potahto

My female owner said that the best surprise that ever happened to her (not just during the Gold Coast getaway but in her entire life) was that, P, her ever constant confidante, travelling buddy, drinking kaki, wise counsel etc etc, had flown over to Brisbane to find her! It turned out that JW and P really conspired to surprise her and what she hoped for on Wed morning came true in such an unexpected way. She arrived at the Brisbane Airport expecting to receive JW, only to meet her Potahto fren. My female owner really couldn't believe her eyes coz P had always been adamant about not visiting Australia.

Oh, the reliving of the good old times - enjoying lazy holidays together, bearing the rain curse that P brings with her on EVERY holiday (can you believe that it was raining at Gold Coast? My female owner never got a tan!), sinful indulgence in fries (countless times), partying (somehow the chopstick sisters always manage to find someone to bring them to a local pub) and swearing off alcohol the next day (who would believe? disaster looms EVERYTIME they go drinking together), taking random photos of food, beach and scenery, shopping till they drop, listening to Chinese songs. The only holiday routine that they probably didnt get to do was to play cards. My female owner wanted to bring cards but thought that JW probably doesn't play them. Alas, the regret was overwhelming.... momentarily. Coz the chopstick sisters found other things to entertain themselves.

At night, they naturally lapsed into their lights out routine where they would talk incessantly about anything under the sun. They even tried to catch the sun rise. Woke up at 5am, dragged themselves out of bed in pitch darkness, walked to the beach which was 140 steps away from the gorgeous apartment they stayed in and waited patiently. They succeeded in seeing dawn turn to day, but not the morning sun. The sky was too cloudly apparently (remember the rain curse?)

My female owner and P also had the privilege of meeting some really amazing people through JW. Will talk more about them and the trip itself another day. Too many good things to say in one post.

As usual, saying goodbye at the end of 5 days of reunion (sound like lovers!) was painful for my female owner but guess she is slowly getting used to the idea that all good things must come to an (painful) end.

back!

My female owner is back from her weekend getaway to Goldcoast. So many things happened over the last five days. Ah, can't wait to hear the updates from her. Alas, but she's too busy now to tell me the stories. Said she has to complete her assignment (due tomorrow), do her laundry, clear miscellaneous admin things and prepare for school. Something like she has school from 0900 to 2030hr! This is worse than working.

So, everyone, update you all another time about her adventures!

visit

My female owner is off to Goldcoast today! Her ex-colleague is flying in from Melbourne to visit her, before he returns to Singapore for good.

He's one of the first few examples of how MSN was instrumental in bridging the gap between two people (actually, my female owner only started using MSN regularly less than a year ago). They had to use MSN, coz he had moved to Melbourne by then.

As a colleague from another department, he went out of his way to compile, in neat fashion, the various information she needed for her research (think her boss was really impressed with him). Not to mention those office chats they had which helped to break the monotonity of work. More importantly, he was her listening ear during the period when my owners were so dysfunctional. His support and encouragement validated her feelings and made it easier for her to move on. His humour was ticklish (can often hear my female owner laughing at the computer) and cheerfulness, uplifting.

Having said all these, the few times they went out together was for lunch during office hours, so it would be interesting to see how they spend the next few days together. Also, this time my female owner would not be travelling with her all-time travelling buddy, P. She's probably missing P already! P should have come too, since they are all good friends. They could have gone drinking (plus chicken winging) together! Cheers!

nannied

My female owner finally had a video conference with her parents today, after an absence of a few days. They would wait for her every night to talk to her but sometimes, due to the time difference, they would not be able to catch her. The joy on their faces when they see her is heart-warming.

I think that by being away from home and having to video conference, my female owner actually talks more to her parents. Otherwise, she's usually doing her own things at home (i.e. MSN) or out with friends till the wee hours of the morning, so much so that she may not really interact with them for a few days.

One thing that amazes me, as I listen to their conversation, is that despite being so far apart, my female owner cannot escape their nagging or babying! Of course that's how Asian parents express their undying love for their children. But knowing my female owner, she rather be left on her own, especially since she's already 18+++++ years old - too old to be nannied.

two-way

In praying for my male owner this morning, my female owner realised that he was probably hurting/ hurt from her actions, words and even, non-actions. It's one of the first times she stepped back from the whole situation and took on his perspective. So she decided to stop focusing on what a **** (fill in the blank, coz I don't know what to write here) he was to her, coz she was probably as **** to him and to focus on praying for healing.

short fuse

My female owner had a short emotional outburst today when she was reminded (unintentionally) of the countless times my male owner promised to quit smoking but resumed it behind her back. He even went as far as smoking in front of her friends (after one badminton session) and telling them not to let her know (she was overseas at that time).

The emotional outburst was a "cyber" one, coz it was over MSN. It manifested itself as an extra long string of random text characters (poor friend who was on the receiving end) but yah, it shocked her at how quickly she reacted to the issue. Looks like while she has mentally put the past behind, she still needs to manage her emotional reactions to such peeves.

Speaking of smoking, she has not seen any of her Brisbane friends smoking (unless they are closet smokers). It's really a pleasant surprise and a fresh break (pun intended) from her friends who smoke.

impressions

It’s the end of the 4-day convention. My female owner has been unusually quiet coz she has not been video conferencing home. Due to the long hours of the convention, she also has not been online very much. Despite this, she still managed to catch up with a few precious friends from homeland

i) SC – who came online just to find her and managed to, bringing testimonies of God’s grace and miraculous works
ii) KK – the guy portion of her closest couple fren, finally spoke to him online, although she could not stay for long
iii) ET – providing an update on aikido and grading matters (some office stuff too but my female owner is slowly learning not to care, yay!). Heard that they did well for grading. Congrats!
iv) JW – to discuss the holiday trip to Goldcoast (my female owner is going away for a few days and in her usual backpacking fashion *think Shanghai*, she has not settled the basics, like transport and itinerary. She's so apologetic about it. Sorry mate!)
v) QY – glad that she’s settling into school -> He has a wonderful plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). Believe it!
vi) P – as always, her partner in crime. P never fails to relate to my female owner in the most familiar and soothing manner. Chicken wings and beer soon babe!
vii) M – always radiating with warmth and God’s love, speaking a word of season

Ah, I’m digressing. I wanna talk about what my female owner learnt/ or set her heart to do, as a result of the convention (non-believers may not understand the following so if you feel uncomfortable, you can choose not to read. It’s important that I write these down coz my female owner has a poor memory and needs to be reminded of whatever she has learnt).

• She has REALLY surrendered her past to God – decisions, mistakes, hurts, disappointments, cynicism etc. That conscious decision is really important for her to set her heart on, in order to move on. God told her to pray for my male owner as part of her healing process. Not something which my female owner is really earnest to do but she would try.
• She has surrendered her negative mindsets to God – her mistrust of people, “All guys are bad” mentality, better-not-to-depend-on-anyone attitude – and decided to be less anti-social. So she spoke to some strangers during the convention. Err… she survived.
• She has renewed her relationship with God – has gained a fresh perspective of spiritual gifts and prayer and wants to see herself growing in some of the gifts. She also wants to start each day with prayer and bible reading (might be a challenge, coz she tends to sleep late and hence, wake up just in time for school)
• She wants to hone herself musically – flute, keyboard and guitar (in that order) – so that she can be used in this area (that’s another major area to conquer, coz she has performance anxiety, so much so that she refused to play for her Onli Fren’s wedding. Something which she still regrets esp when they talk about it)
• She wants to be a blessing to others, with whatever she has (to be the light upon the hill). If not now, then when? But she has no concrete ideas yet.
• She wants to put God as the centre of her life and not stay in the lukewarm, let’s-see-how-things-go-stage anymore.

My female owner knows that there will be times when she will find some of the things above challenging as she juggles with the different aspects of her life. However, this would be the direction that she wants to head towards for this year.

living a life of significance

Pastor Simon Eng

Numbers 14:4, Joshua 14:14

1) You can be someone of significance
- John Maxwell estimated that an average person impacts at least 10000 people in his lifetime

2) Have a goal in mind
- What do I want to BE/ DO? --> write it down
- Now, go for a bigger goal than this!
Focus on others -> help them get to where they want to go

Definition of signifiance
i) Help someone, or solve his needs/ problems
ii) Able to add worth and value to others
iii) What you accomplish breakthrough in projects
iv) When you help others achieve a higher goal

3) Prepare NOW
a) Fulfill the basics faithfully
- Do well in what you are doing now. Focus on what you have
b) Take more than just enough
- Learn more than waht you are learning now. Inspiration is not enough
- Evaluate yourself. Stop and take stock of where you are,
- Expand yourself by involving other people and working with others
c) Resist the spirit of the present generation
- E.g. the convenient spirit or the complacent spirit

4) Price of pursuing significance
a) Great heart - spirit - love -mind
- heart: "i will not give up/ turn away from challenges"
- spirit: never blame others
- love: cultivate great patience
- mind: mental toughness to persevere
b) Great attitude - character - skills
- attitude: circumstances will appear different when our attitude changes
- character: helps you maintain success for the long run (trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, friendliness, courtesy, kindness, obeience, cheerfulness, thriftiness, clean, reverent)
- skills: need training, self-learning, invest

5) Characteristics of a non-significant life
a) no progress: "just want to survive"
b) negative: "it cannot be done"
c) fault-finding: don't be the problem, be the solution
d) slothful/ lazy

notes

My female owner used to take notes during sermons when she was much younger. She would then rewrite the notes into an exercise book, with some fanciful decorations/ headings to spice things up. One day, her Onli Fren requested to borrow it and somehow, her Onli Fren's mother threw the book away, thinking it was rubbish. That was the end of her nice notes-writing days.

At her church now, she cant help but notice that almost everyone would take sermon notes during service. In fact, the pastors encourage such a culture and even prepare powerpoint slides which are "notes-friendly". Not being one to conform easily to group practices (even though it makes good sense to take sermon notes), she refused to take any notes, even though her Singaporean friend (who told her to join this church) had given her a journal (for her spiritual journey as the friend puts it) partly for this use (sorry if you are reading this! My female owner did bring the book with her. She just hasnt started using it).

For this Christian convention, lecture-notes style sermon notes are given to all delegates (those fill in the blanks type). Hence, my female owner had no qualms taking notes. However, there was an elective seminar which she attended that did not provide notes. Somehow, she decided to write notes for it and was glad she did coz the message was thought-provoking. The brief outline is posted above, so that she wont forget it ever.

restoration

A full day of the Christian convention has gone by. My female owner kinda enjoyed herself being among Christian brothers and sisters, doing Christian stuff. For a long time, she did not have real Christian fellowship (for reasons not worth repeating here). It's not that her non-Christian friends are no good (so please! don't get me wrong! my female owner really values all her friends), it's just that she did not have the necessary balance in her life (so that means that having only Christian friends is also no good).

Slowly but surely, she's beginning to feel more at ease with this aspect of her life. Many things which she used to do, used to know, used to enjoy in church are coming back to her. It's like having her spiritual memory restored and having a fire re-ignited in her life.

Anyway, my female owner had a lot of free time today and she spent her time talking to this super young but lovable gal.... about us! Yes, US! I think she misses us badly. She went on and on like a broken record about how cute and human-fied we are.

7 years

My female owner attended her first ever Christian convention today. It stretches over 4 days, all the way till Monday. The closest "convention" she even been to were to church camps. I suppose she won't be on MSN so often till Monday (MSN buddies, take note!).

The worship leader started the session with a well-known bible story about the woman who had a blood problem for 12 years (Mark 5:25-34). The woman was healed by Jesus in an instant, because of her faith. My female owner has heard this story explained many times but today, she gained a new perspective.

My female owner has always believed that she needed a lot of time to massage her way through the negative experiences she had been through in the past 7 years, both at work and in her personal life. The reason why she felt she needed a long time was because it had been 7 long years of repeated scarring.

Today, she realised that she could be healed, in an instant. Length of "illness" doesn't matter. Faith matters.

song revisited

It's Good Friday! For some unknown reason, it comes really early this year. Hence, the mid-term break for students starts after only 4 weeks in school.

Anyway, my female owner is quite surprised that Good Friday appears to be a non-event in Australia. In Singapore, there would be nightly services in the week leading up to Good Friday (where of course, there would be morning service). Seems like Easter is more important. Commercially, the shelves are lined with all kinds of Easter goodies - mainly chocolate eggs in all sizes (but same shape!), some chocolates shaped like bunnies, soft-toys, cards. Families gather on Easter for a meal and organise Easter Egg Hunts for the kids.

This Good Friday, one song pops up as being very meaningful for my female owner - Who Am I? On the last day she had to leave Singapore, my female owner went back to her former church (which she left a few years ago) for the morning service. Her Onli Fren had invited her back (and she made it, despite being out late the night before). Coincidentally, her husband was leading worship and had chosen this song. At that time, this song was just another "nice to hear, good to sing" song. That's partly because my female owner was feeling emo at that time, especially when the phrase "here today and gone tomorrow" kept appearing on the screen before her eyes (ya, she's that literal at times).

But now, the lyrics make great sense to her.

expectancy

My female owner found out that her Onli Fren is expecting!

My female owner's first encounter with a pregnant woman (from conception to birth of the baby as opposed to a fleeting experience) was not a pleasant one. The woman, her immediate senior colleague, morphed from a reasonably chatty person into a highly demanding, noisy and somewhat unreasonable person. The office had to cater to her idiosyncrasies (or her baby's?). My female owner was somewhat traumatised by the transformation and withdrew even more into her shell. She was thankful when the colleague returned to her usual self after the delivery. Since then, she never quite liked pregnant women and tried to stay clear of them.

Her Onli Fren's pregnancy of course, marks the first one where she is genuinely interested. While their friendship spans more than half their life, the strength of their friendship is even more amazing. Apparently, they started off not liking each other. Onli Fren thought that my female owner was unfriendly (she still is!) while my female owner felt that she was annoying (for deliberately ignoring her at church). Oh well, like the Chinese saying goes, "if you don't cross paths, you won't know each other". So, the friendship developed after Onli Fren called my female owner to clear up a misunderstanding.

Over the years, there were times when they did not speak to each other often. However, any friendship, built upon God's leading, stays strong. The two of them have spent so many precious moments together - studying, celebrating birthdays/ Valentine's days, travelling, hair cuts, facials, praying, leading a cell-group, camping, shopping, eating, suppering, pooling, bridging, driving, lazing with us turtles!, bearing each other's burdens, cooking, MSNing (how can I miss that out?!). The list goes on. Without her Onli Fren's unconditional love, acceptance and patience (whom my female owner calls her affectionately as Cuppie-cake), my female owner won't be who she is today. The baby is blessed to have such a mother (and father of course!).

Such a warm feeling, to know that her Onli Fren is moving on to the next stage of her life. It's like when you make friends in your teenage years, you never really think ahead about your friends becoming mothers. Now that reality has hit home, you then realise that so many years have passed, so many things have changed, but the friendship still remains central in your life.

We are excited too!

woken up

My female owner has been trying to sleep more these past three days, to no avail. Usually she would sleep about 7-8hrs, especially if she did not have any morning appointments.

On the first day, she woke up at 0615,hr after 6hrs of sleep, because the birds around her room was chirping with so much gusto.

On the second morning, she woke up, again after 6 hrs of sleep at about 0930hr, without knowing why.

On the third morning, she woke up after 4.5hrs of sleep, at 0800hr, because she received an SMS from a friend, asking for permission to use her school download quota. She was really annoyed at this untimely disturbance coz she couldn't go back to sleep again (the birds, which woke her up on the first day, were again chirping with gusto). Although the SMS alert is a simple, short 1/2-sec, 2-note tone, it was enough to wake her up. It must be a spillover from her previous job where she was on call 24/7 and had to sleep every night with her ears open, just in case she was activated for any crisis.

Time to be a student again! Just sleep in.

hand-fed

I miss my female owner. She hasn't been video conferencing back these days. Her father is now looking after us on a full-time basis. He gives us fresh water everyday (although he won't feed us everyday!). But that's good too, coz we love splash around.

Dodo, the not-so-Alpha Male (coz he's really gentle and non-aggressive)

Nanook, lumbering in (due to her massive size)

That's me in the tank and Dona climbing in. Dodo is looking on (he has a crush on Dona)

One thing though, I miss is being hand-fed (or rather, bottle-fed). My owners used to do that with us, as part of their attempts to nurture us.

same name

Out of sheer bordom and denial of work to be done, my female owner decided to search for people with the same name as her on Facebook. To her pleasant surprise, there are about 60+ girls who has been bestowed with the same ill-fated name as her. As far as she knows, there's only one other person (in her 40s) with the same name in Singapore.

functional

Some friends are those type whom you still feel close to, even if you haven't spoken to them for ages. My female owner has a few of those kind of friends. Despite not being in contact for ages, they would still feel emotionally connected and the familiarity still remains. It's like nothing has changed for them since the last time they spoke.

Other friendships however, probably need more attention and nurturing. Having completed one of her assignments today, my female owner decided to chat with one of her frens today, the Functional Fren (had been a while since they last communicated). It could have been her state of mind, or his preoccupation with the recent events in his life, but my female owner felt that there are a slight distance between them.

They used to do quite a number of varied things together spontanteously and he taught her many random things (like how to get around Singapore roads and identify plants). He also imparted insightful counselling principles to her when she was faced with challenges. More significantly, he harvested the postgrad dream that she had been nursing for a few years and motivated her to apply for it.

Ah, the friendship would continue to be strong... even though they are no longer "functional" to each other.

muscular relaxation

My female owner got this from class today. It was a presentation by her classmates on muscular relaxation for children. To sustain interest, children learn to tense and relax different muscle groups while listening to cheery stories. Here's one short segment, for the shoulder and neck. Try it! Or I can show it to you!

Now pretend you are a turtle. You're sitting out on a rock by a nice, peaceful pond, just relaxing in the warm sun. It feels nice and warm and safe here. Oh-oh! You sense danger. Pull your head into your house. Try to pull your shoulders up to your ears and push your head down into your shoulders. Hold in tight. It isn't easy to be a turtle in a shell. The danger is past now. You can come out into the warm sunshine, and, once again, you can relax and feel the warm sunshine. Watch out now! More danger. Hurry, pull your head hack into your house and hold it tight. You have to be closed in tight to protect yourself. Okay, you can relax now. Bring your head out and let your shoulders relax. Notice how much better it feels to be relaxed than to be all tight. One more time, now. Danger! Pull your head in. Push your shoulders way up to your ears and hold tight. Don't let even a tiny piece of your head show outside your shell. Hold it. Feel the tenseness in your neck and shoulders. Okay. You can come out now. It's safe again. Relax and feel comfortable in your safety. There's no more danger. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to be afraid of. You feel good.

plant

My female owner learnt a lesson about herself yesterday, through an innocuous discussion she had with some of her new friends regarding her plant. You see, she bought a green leafy indoor potted plant when she moved into her current apartment. She wanted to spice up her otherwise barren looking room. As she has no experience looking after plants (she spends all her energy on us!), her host gave her until mid April before the plant dies under her care.

The plant when she first bought it
This is the plant as of today (one month later)
A close-up shot

If you compare the "before" and "after" photos, you would notice that the plant looks barren now as many of the bigger leaves are now gone and some of the remaining leaves have spots of brown. (although there are also some baby leaves which sprouted out miraculously.) What happened was that my female owner would pluck away any leaf which had brown spots because she thought that i) the leaf was diseased (some green finger lady told her to remove the entire leaf if random brown spots appears) or ii) the leaf was withering and would die anyway.

Finally, she got tired to plucking away the leaves and decided to let the plant die a natural death. It was at this point when she sought the advice of her friends (as they seemed to be knowledgeable about plants). Upon hearing the above story, they unaminously told her not to pluck away any of the leaves and to allow the drying leaves to die naturally. Expressing her discomfort at the yellowing leaves, one of them asked "why can't some of the leaves be brown? they are also brown in the natural environment"

It was then that my female owner realised her obsession with perfection, that if any part of the plant did not fit her schema of a thriving plant, she would remove that part (by the way, her response to the comment went something along the lines of "but the leaves were all green when I bought it from the shop!"). It's akin to the times when she did manicure herself. If there is ever one slight blemish in the polish (which is probably naked to the all human eyes except hers, she would remove the paint and start all over again).

Anyway, besides the quick lesson on plants, my female owner realised that she has to re-evaluate her mindset towards certain things (especially those which cause her distress) and consider taking on more reasonable perspectives if possible.

Time to plant new ideas into her life!

not so 18

Those close to my female owner (esp her long-suffering ex-colleagues) would know that she declares herself to be 18 years old. Her "18 years old" jokes will seep into their conversations at the most unexpected moments, resulting in varied responses such as tickled laughter (from her Librarian Fren), rolling of eyes (Potato) or quiet amusement (Eggplant).

It helps also, that she's the youngest in the above mentioned group. So, it was natural for them to entertain her juvenile aspirations.

Coming here, my female owner took a 180degree roundabout turn regarding her stated age. Now, she says that she is 18+++++ (the number of pluses is random). This is because, she realised all too soon that she's probably older than most of the people around her. It's like there was a bible study session where the question was, "what do you see yourself in 5 years' time?" One of the girls said that in 5 years' time, she would be X age and my female owner almost fainted, coz she was at least X+2 years already. The age gap is so stark, it's difficult to convince herself that she's 18, when she's in the company of so many young people who are closer to 18 than she is!

Anyway, my female owner shared this episode with her Librarian Fren (who is currently studying in London and actually once said that she misses the "18 years old" jokes). And the dear fren replied... "in our hearts, you will always be 18 years old"

Aww... so sweet.

incongruence

Still on the topic of webcams cum mikes and strange behaviours. My female owner's Functional Fren once had a "silent movie" MSN video conference with her. This time, there was no audio because he did not switch on the mike (no reason offered).

It was really strange, because he would write about things and end off with a smiley face "=)", but his face (through the webcam) would look as if it was baptised in tomyam soup. The glum on his face was unmistakable. Such incongruence! A trait of the male species maybe?

Another one of my female owner's bestest MSN buddy, Potato (I mention her a lot of times in this TurtlePad because they spend a lot of time together. They are also referred to as a pair of chopsticks for their similar builds. However, both will unanimously insist that the other has a better figure), refused to get a webcam or mike for quite a long time. She was afraid that my female owner would be too busy to talk to her when school progresses, thus wasting her investment. Finally, she got herself a mike but not a webcam. Reason was that she felt that she lacked face-to-face communication skills and felt more comfortable with a mike. Then what about those times they travelled together or hang out till the wee hours of the morning etc? Weren't those face-to-face activities? Such incongruence too!

Two people, with unique preferences of communication (visual but written vs non-visual but spoken). And the person who wants a proper conversation (Onli Fren), cannot get her mike working. And oh, did I mention that my female owner's parents who are tech-idiots, are able to get the webcam cum mike working all the time?

Ironies of life!

Onli Fren

My female owner's Onli Fren (yes, the one who organised the church party and who had long discussions with her, agreeing that AGAB) recently bought a webcam cum mike so that she could have video conferencing with my female owner. Alas, despite several troubleshooting attempts, they could only get the webcam to work and not the mike. So the two of them have what I call, silent movie conversations. They typed out their thoughts furiously in the MSN dialogue boxes and wait for a visual response from the other party. For some reason, they feel contented doing that.

I think my female owner is really serious about this Onli Fren terminology. When her Onli Fren appeared at the airport to send her off, my female owner introduced her to the rest of the people as "this is my Onli Fren!" The response was instantaneous. The rest of her friends started to get up and move off in mock anger.

Her Onli Fren is also one of the few friends who would visit us turtles in the Balcony and spend some time with us. She would even bother to call us by name. Because of their long friendship, her Onli Fren also saw the previous turtles who lived in the Balcony before us. There were even photos taken of them in the Balcony, turtles in hand.

Now that my female owner is gone, will her Onli Fren still pop by to visit us? Just to check on us... be our ambassador!

wet weather

It has been raining everyday in Singapore! Thunderstorms in fact. When my female owner left, she must have brought away the sunshine as well. We like the wet weather, because the rain water will splash into the Balcony (there's no windows here) and we get to wade around. Otherwise, we usually live on dry land and get to play in water only once every 2-3 days when someone feeds us.

Keep the rain coming!

self-therapeutic dream

My female owner experienced what she called a self-therapeutic dream this morning. She went to bed relatively early at 0030hr as she had a meeting at 0830hr with her friend.

In the early morning, just before waking, she dreamt of my male owner and Nanook the husky (first time Nanook the husky entered her dreams). Nanook the husky was actually given to her by my male owner on the 100th day of their relationship. My female owner, having a penchant for cute things, would usually enter toy/ gift shops to browse. Several such shops carried TY Toys mechandise and that was when she first saw Nanook on the shelves. Since that time, she never failed to enter a toy shop to play with Nanook for a while. Hence, the joy when she received one from my male owner.

Along the years, Nanook became more and more important in her life (i know this sounds weird!) and she would sleep with him almost every night. Sometimes, Nanook the husky would slip off the bed and hit the ground on his nose with a loud impact. Hence, one of my female owner's fears was that one day, his nose would give way and drop out.

Okay, so that's the backdrop to her dream.

In the dream, my female owner dreamt that they were NOT together, but talking as per normal. The issue was surrounding Nanook the Husky as he had just broken his nose (hmmm...Freud will have something to say about this). However, the conversation was steering somewhat to a reconciliation (you know, how you can be angry with someone and through a normal conversation, resolve your anger without addressing the reason for the anger). Then my female owner felt a warning signal go off and realised that she had to do something about it.

Fortunately, she saw a picture of her friend on MSN (ah, now MSN comes in handy even in dreams) and it was a photo of her friend preparing for her wedding. So she took the opportunity to say that she had no intentions of getting married (which is true in real life, coz she decided that it's just not worthwhile upsetting her life for something so fragile). Of course that shocked my male owner, coz to be in a relationship without intending to get married is going against traditional Asian values. That was the cue for her to affirm that they were not going to reconcile.

Nanook's nose was patched up, they said their good-byes and my female owner woke up, earlier than she intended to.

Guess this dream, though set in a very matter-of-factly fashion (no, I dont think she woke up crying or feeling blue), was important in helping my female owner get some closure to this relationship. As far as I know, my owners didnt have a "proper" breakup (ie where they sat down to talk things through calmly). They basically had a mega-big quarrel, left each other in a huff, and spent the next couple of weeks waiting for each other to initiate a conversation. Some emails/ SMSes were exchanged, mostly cordial and still loving. The non-action probably sealed the nail in the coffin and that was that.

At times, my female owner even thought that perhaps they were just having a cool-off period and that someday, they would get back together again. This was until a time soon after when my male owner spoke to her on MSN (ah, here you go... MSN again!) and told her to move on coz he has already moved on (which she later found out, to a new girlfriend. Men!)

Ah, so there you go. A "proper" breakup in dreamland, to substitute for the lack of one in reality. Time to move on..

snacks

Been three days since my female owner started on her healthy living plan. That means no snacking on chips, cookies or other fatty foods more than 2 times a week. Since it has only been 3 days, it's not possible to say if she has kept to this plan.

My female owner hardly snacks in Singapore, as far as I can remember. Even when there were chocolates, ice-cream or chips lying all around the house (courtesy of her parents, neighbour or friends), she felt no affinity towards them. Her only indulgence was durian chips (which had to be bought from Thailand - she has earned a reputation for this. It's automatic that her friends would get some for her if they are holidaying in Thailand) and the occasional craving for certain snacks (like Calibee Hot and Spicy Potato Chips). Even in her workplace, she hardly stocks up on titbits.

Here, she comes up with wonderful reasons to justify her over-indulgence:
i) she's studying and needs brain food
ii) she needs to check out Aussie snacks to see if they live up to their reputation (and maybe bring back to Singapore?)
iii) she's stressed and needs happy food
iv) since she can't cook well, she should just stick to food that is guaranteed to taste good
v) the nearest supermarket is a bus ride away, so she should stock-up "just in case" she needs therapeutic food
vi) winter is coming, she needs the fats
vii) since she has given up on her "empty-calories" vice and the associated fried chicken wings an fries combo, she needs a substitute
viii) this is classic - some of her clothes are too baggy anyway, she needs to fill them up

On a side note, I wonder how it's like to dine on a variety of food everyday. My female owner has been feeding us the same food and we've grown to love it so much that fresh food such as cabbage and carrots taste yucky. Even when we were babies, my female owner did not feed us shrimps (as most people would recommend for baby turtles) coz she did not want us to grow too big too quickly.

light

My female owner slept really early last night, about 2100hr. She was tired of working in dim light (her lamps are not bright enough for her) and decided to try another strategy - to wake up early so that she can use the natural sunlight to do her multiple readings.

So she aimed to wake up at 0530hr, since Mr Autumn Sun is up and about around this time. Alas, while she can function with less sleep (i.e. sleep late and wake up early), she can't wake up early (i.e. sleep early and wake up early). She ended up waking up at the usual time - 0730hr. Even in Singapore, we turtles never really see her at dawn. She's usually up at 0730hr, when the Mr Singapore Sun is bright and cheery.

Another reason why she wanted to wake up as early as possible was because Mr Autumn Sun goes to bed early, about 1815hr. Hence, she is pressed for time to complete her readings before darkness falls.

fear

My female owner blasted her self-imposed MSN curfew again last night/ this morning. She intended to log off at the stroke of midnight (ya, right) but once she put herself as "online", the floodgates opened and she ended up catching up with some of her friends (you must understand that she had been abstaining from MSN for a few days, so while she's usually online, she's hardly chatting). She ended sleeping at 0300hr and somehow, pulled through a full day of lessons.

Something that was different besides the usual catching up was an exchange she had with a local friend (she calls him Intuitive Fren, because somehow, he pinpointed certain areas in her life which she has been pondering over). I'm not sure if I mentioned this before (but I know my female owner shared this with a few friends, Christian and non-Christians, before) but my female owner knew that one reason why God brought her to Brisbane was so that He could rebuild and restore her life - spiritually, emotionally, mentally, psycholoigcally and physically - in an environment where she would not be so easily distracted.

God started working even before she came over, by putting random people in her life to help her settle in fast (they are really random coz she actually doesn't know any of them beforehand). He led her to her current residence on the first day she reached Brisbane, into a household of Christians worshipping in the very church which she intended to join. Things happened so fast, she felt out of control. In fact, I think she felt unprepared for more of such "divine interventions" that she delayed attending cell-group, missed church and kept to herself. In the end, she even prayed to God, asking God to give her some time before she opened up her heart fully to Him.

I've never known my female owner when she was active in her home church. My older brothers, Dodo and Dona (who are 2 years older than me), caught a short glimpse of her deep involvement in church before she started to get distracted with my male owner and drifted away from God. It was spiritual and psychological downhill all the way.

Having been on the other side of the fence for so many years, I can imagine how scary it would be for my female owner to venture back into the Christian life she left behind so many years ago. I saw her trying so many times during the past 7 years to rebuild her spiritual life but after much struggling, she gave up attending cell group and settled for Sunday Services only. To add to that, she had workplace challenges which zapped up much of her energy. In the end, she developed several defense mechanisms to counteract the workplace. The choices she made...

Anyway, just as my female owner was starting to open her heart (cautiously) more to God, her Intuitive Fren came along to nudge her in the same direction and brought to consciousness, some of the issues which she had either been avoiding, procrastinating on or been oblivious about. I hope that my female owner will be able to resolve her issues and move on from the life (be it good or bad experiences) she was used to in Singapore.

OCD

As usual, Mondays are bad for my female owner. It used to be that she would drag her feet to work. Now, she finds herself dreading Mondays coz she has lessons from 0900 to 1600hr. It's pretty much like working she said, coz she has a 1.5hr lunch-break in-between 1 marathon morning session and 1 marathon afternoon session.

Anyway, my female owner learnt about obsessive-compulsive disorders or OCDs today. While the material is somewhat familiar to her, she found out that animals such as dogs and cats can also suffer from OCD! Examples of OCD behaviour include pacing, chasing one's tail and pouncing at invisible prey.

Until now, she can't find any information on OCD in turtles but inhouse, Dodo probably qualifies as OCD. This is him.

As you can see, he's busy trying to scale over the brick. He does this to walls as well, even though it's very clear that there's no way he can be like Spiderman. AND, he would indulge in his scaling activities for hours at end. I betcha, he's the first turtle ever with OCD!

change

Been five weeks since my female owner left us. I guess things are panning out nicely for her. She lives in an apartment with a river view; stone's throw from her school. Has a fully equipped kitchen, a full entertainment system (library of DVDs, Korean drama serials, and even Wii). Easy-going and fun housemates who can cook well (that's important for a Singaporean!). She has full parental support in this endeavour. She only needs to focus on doing well for her course.

Some changes she reported since her arrival: She arrived in summer and it's autumn now. The days are shorter and nights more chilly. She joined a church and a bible study group (finally after so many years!). She started jogging regularly (about 2-3 times a week, 3.5km each time) and this is surprising coz I know she absolutely hates jogging. She learnt to cook or at least, picked up new recipes. She stopped drinking but erm, she started snacking so much that she has put on weight (not sure why she bothers to go jogging). She started drinking coffee with fresh milk (rather than using satchets). She enjoys staying home to be by herself. She stopped wishing that she's back in Singapore (but that doesn't mean she's gotten used to being in a foreign land).

Some things remained the same: She still logs into MSN everyday to chat with her friends. She goes for aikido and practices the flute (sporadically!). Nanook the husky still sleeps with her. She doesn't watch television. She still loves us (this is very important). Her hair remains short, curly and golden. She holds on to her Singaporean accent quite strongly (and was badly thrashed by her local friend who insisted that she assimilates into the Aussie slang. My female owner tried to defend herself, saying that her potato friend had threatened to kill her if she ever returned with an Aussie slang. He wasn't quite convinced at her argument).

I wonder how the next 5 weeks would be like for her.

left behind

We are left alone for the weekend! My female owner's parents are away in Malaysia for a short retreat. Before they left, they made sure they fed us really well (so considerate of them!)

Although we are solitary creatures, we've gotten used to the presence of humans and modern noises coming from electrical appliances like the television and radio, and human activities like cooking, cleaning and... people quarrelling? So this silence is really cutting to a certain extent. It makes me wonder if its the end of the world.... and we are the only creatures who are left behind.

Somebody talk to us soon!

don't ask

My female owner talks to her parents almost every night but everytime she asks her mother about us, her mother refuses to tell her how we are. Rather, she expressed displeasure that my female owner is always asking about us!

Mother: "Why are you always asking about the turtles? Why you never ask if I'm okay?"

Female owner: "I can see you through the video and you are ok! So how's my turtles?"

Mother: "Aiyah, don't ask."

*background chuckles heard* - her father laughing at the exchange

one month

My female owner left Singapore exactly one month ago. It was painful letting her go. We were all in denial that day. In fact, I think we looked super unfriendly then.

Anyway, one month gone means one month closer to reuniting with her. We will be counting down.

somewhere out there

My female owner attended a birthday party in the mountains. To get there, she had to navigate a long and windy road with no street lamps and overhanging trees. In the absence of light, the stars shone brightly and she was greeted with countless stars, twinkling in the sky. In light-polluted Singapore, the most she sees is Orion and a few other courtesy stars.

Here, she sees Orion shining so brightly and in closer proximity. What a wonder. And sentimental her started to think about the friends (and turtles!) she left behind in Singapore. Realising that they would also see Orion, she was reminded of the following song... yeah.. we are not so far away after all.

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

first outburst

My female owner is frustrated. Super frustrated. Must be her first outburst since she reached the land of tranquility and peace and slow-moving life (hey! that sounds like the name of my turtle pad!). Could hear her voice raising in frustration and irritation, as she tried to communciate with her mother on some logistical matters.

My little ears overheard that she needed some original documents urgently and along the way, there were so many hiccups that if she could, she would have just thrown in the towel and packed for home. Ok, that's an exaggeration on my part but, yay, the emotions ran high just now as mother and daughter tried to sort out the necessary details.

My female owner was so exhausted after the sorting out session that she simply left an angry face emoicon on her MSN tagline. Guess what was heartening is that some of her friends asked her about it. Though she may not be able to tell the full story (too long I suppose), at least she knows that she is not alone.

karma

Sometimes it's hard not to believe in karma... my female owner has been saying that I'm really fat and needs to lose weight. Everytime she talks to her parents about us, she would remind them not to feed us too much, or else we will get fat. Her nagging will end with "especially the fat yellow one (aka me!)"

My female owner webcamed her part-time cleaning lady today (she probably last saw her about a month ago) and one of the first few things the cleaning lady said was... "you put on weight! a lot of weight! now your face is very round"

Wahaha. Some things cannot be hidden, even if it's only the face, on a camera.

no longer a dream

My female owner has been video conferencing her parents every night since her mother left to go back to Singapore. I noticed that she's looking less and less cheerful. Guess that her extended holiday (since November last year) has ended and it's time for her to return to a "normal" life, ie to study hard. Unlike the past where she tells people that she is going to pursue her dream, now her dream has come true and she realised that she needs to work really hard in order to fulfill her dream.

Like the exchange between my female owner (F) and her Second Onli Fren (S):

F: This is real. I really gotta study! It's no longer a dream.
S: Wahaha. Of coz you've to study. You went there to STUDY!
F: I mean... study hard
S: That's why you're not in a company. You are in a UNIVERSITY! It's ok, it's not too late to grasp that little concept. LOL
F: Repeat that again for me!
S: You are there to STUDY.... that's why you're in a UNIVERSITY and not a company. Another favourite phrase I've learnt from someone: 'You'd better not fuck up!'
F: What?!

jump

If I could Jump, I would Jump to where my female owner is. Then, I would never Jump again.

wonder

It's Saturday. My female owner has been alone for a week. I wonder how she is coping. I just realised that while this is the longest time we turtles have been separated from her, it is also the first time she is alone in a foreign country for such a long time.

I wonder.

How does she settle her meals? The only meals I've ever seen her cook are instant noodle, instant noodle, instant noodle... and once in a lifetime, pasta.
How does she fill her days since she's no longer with her friends? Despite her round, friendly face, my female owner takes an average of a year before she overcomes her shyness with new people, breaks the ice and feel comfortable with her. I bet you, she takes after us!
Does she miss us? Will she keep another pet (NO!)?
Has she changed, even in such a short span of time (besides gaining 2kg in 2 weeks)?

Dodo is still the same, excitable and friendly. He says that we need to greet our female owner's parents whenever they are near, so that they will feel happy taking care of us. Otherwise, we may end up being abandoned.

Nanook is trying to lose weight. That's probably her new year's resolution and welcome back gift for my female owner. Wish her success.

Dona? That skinny brother of mine is still obsessed with Nanook.

As for me... Still patiently waiting for my female owner to come back. She will be back, definitely.

one night in Brisbane

My female owner was walking past Hilton Hotel in Brisbane City this evening when she saw a crew of SIA stewards/ stewardesses exiting the hotel, presumably to report to work. She couldn't help but scream in her head "bring me home with you!"

Oh well.. that's our heart's cry too. We have never been separated from her for so long.

Then she went to check out the Treasury Casino in the city and as expected, the security asked for her ID to make sure that she is above 18 years old. The last time someone checked her for her age was 4 years ago, in Melbourne, also when she was trying to enter a casino.

She headed for the live band and couldn't help but reminisce about the good times she had, chilling out with her friends while listening to live music. She realised then, that those times may never come back, especially since her friends are generally at turning points of their lives, where they develop different priorities and goals in life.

Wish I could crawl in bed with my female owner now... and be with her always.

daunted

My female owner has stopped asking about us in her nightly calls to her parents!

Oh well, not really. Just today, she didn't ask about us.

Guess she must be feeling stressed out by her course. She met her coursemates today and were daunted by all that she had to do/ should have done but didn't do.

For the first time, she finally realised why many of her friends said that she was so brave to pursue her studies.

outburst

My female owner achieved something which she probably never did before. Within a span of 5 days, she exercised on 4 days! Three times, she went jogging around her estate and once, for a powerpacked aikido session with big-sized ang mohs. Save for the aikido session which she attended alone, she had running friends to push her along (this is essential as she hates jogging).

You see, she said she gained 2kg within 2 weeks and felt paranoid about the future... of her weight/ figure/ clothes/ self-esteem/ health.

Hence, the outburst of exercise. Wonder how long it would last.

labelled

I just found out that my female owner made arrangements with her parents regarding our meals. Before she left, she bought 5 bottles of turtle food and labelled them by month (from Feb to Jun). She then instructed her parents to follow the labelled bottle as a guide to how much (and how often) to feed us.

Hey! That means that my female owner has to come back by June or we will all starve!

Celine Dion - Goodbye's (The Saddest World) (Music Video)

Dedicated to my female owner's mother, for all the things she had done to bring her up. Because of her mother, we turtles have a good life too.

Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)

Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady

Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love

Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman

Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me

'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

But the love you gave me will always live
You'll always be there every time I fall
You offered me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes

And when you need me
I'll be there for you always
I'll be there your whole life through
I'll be there this I promise you, Mamma

Mamma, I'll be
I'll be there through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye

changes

Today is significant for my female owner as she is standing at a crossroad of her life - where she crosses over from being a civil servant to being a student. 18 Feb, it is her official last day at her workplace and the first day of school. She likend it to someone who crosses over from death to life.

By the time she completes her studies, so many things would have changed.

Confirmed changes
i) P would have finished serving her 6 years bond and be free!
ii) Q would have completed her A levels
iii) U would have a house to call his home
iv) E and B would be almost on par with her for aikido
v) Her couple frens aka badminton kakis would be married and have houses to call their own
vi) J would be back in Singapore, working

Unconfirmed changes
i) Maybe her Onli fren would be a mother by then?
ii) Maybe Eggplant too?
iii) Maybe her couple frens would be parents too?
iv) Maybe EC would be doing missionary work by then?
v) Maybe my female owner would be a better drinker by then?

new place

My female owner's mother came home last night... without my female owner of course. She brought along with her, stories of the happenings over the past two weeks and a somewhat satisfied spirit. She was most pleased with the accomodation which my female owner laid her hands on. According to her, finding the place was a miracle, achieved through a complication network of my female owner's maternal auntie's friend's friend's colleague's friend.

So it's like this, the auntie used to work in the household of an English family when she was 18 years old (they maintained contact even when the family moved back to England after 1.5 years). 40 years on, the English daughter took up postgrad studies in Brisbane and become firm friends with another lady. This lady played host to my female owner and her mother, even though she did not know them. She housed them and brought them around. On the first night they arrvied in Brisbane, the friend's colleague called her to say that her friend is looking for a housemate. So there you have it, a super long connection. It was pretty international too, from a Singaporean to an English to a Malaysian to a Singaporean to a Bruenian.

Here are some photos of the place my female owner will call home for the next year.

The surroundings

The block of apartments she's living in. Count three levels up from the centre of the signboard. That's my female owner's room.

The street just outside the apartment, supposedly good for jogging, cycling, skating etc.

Close-up of the entrance. Note that there are no security guards or ugly gates!

The room she will occupy.

The room is a regular rectangle but due to the angle, it was difficult to take a good shot. So use your imagination to piece together the whole room. This is her study table, taken from the door. As with her previous office, she's occupying a corner room.

Taken from the study table/ window, these are the built-in cupboard and bed.

Her bed, made up with sheets and pillows. The study table is in front of the black chair. See, she brought Nanook the Husky and even clothed him.

View from her window. Don't ask me why she didn't open her windows! It's so windy at night that she leave a mere 10cm gap for ventilation.

Rest of the apartment
The super big living room. It's so spacious, visitors can bunk in here overnight (hint hint!) There's a spare bed behind the standing fan and a ready supply of movies and a keyboard even.

Walk straight through the living room to the balcony, and this is the view which greets you. The Brisbane River. Tenants pay a premium for the area because of this. My female owner said that we would be very happy to stay here because the balcony is much bigger than our current Balcony

The kitchen which comes with an oven and dishwasher. The balcony actually connects to the kitchen in a L-shaped fashion. My female owner was standing at the intersection between the balcony and this long corridor leading to the kitchen (there's another entrance at the top left hand corner of the photo).

So, you can see why my female owner's mother is very pleased with the house. Even my female owner says that its an upgrade of her flat in Singapore. Wish we can go over too.

love

It's 4am and my female owner is still awake. Her mother is asleep in her room, snoring away, resting before her flight home to Singapore. All of a sudden, the realisation hits her. This would be the last time she hears her mother snoring until my female owner returns to Singapore (unspecific date).

My female owner spent the last 2 weeks with her mother, almost 24/7. It was probably the most intensive and intimate time she ever had with her mother since she reached adulthood. At 58, her mother would be close to retirement, but yet, her mother is still working so hard, just to see my female owner through her postgraduate dreams.

This period had been a refreshing and enriching time for both mother and daughter I suppose. To experience her mother's selfless acts of love, through the various things she did; to be able to settle the things she needs to, knowing that her mother is fully behind her (sometimes literally, coz her mother would follow her wherever she went, even though she can't walk fast); to see the persevering and fighting spirit in her mother, for she simply wanted the best for my female owner and to spend more time with her.

There's nothing greater than a mother's love. There's nothing more hurtful than a child's indifference to a mother's love.

....

saw

I saw my female owner today! Really. I wasn't hallucinating. She was having her nightly chat with her father when she requested to "see her turtles". Her father, ever full of love, obliged. Out of four of us, he picked me up from my usual haunt under the Trolley and brought me in front of the video camera to greet my female owner.

I was so happy to see her. My female owner still looks the same. Just a little rounder around the face (hmm... she must have been eating well) and darker too (never saw her so brown before, what has she been doing?!).

Anyway, she squeaked in delight to see me and pointed excitedly at me "yes! This is the fat turtle!" So much for a warm greeting.

Nanook was a tad upset that she was not chosen to see my female owner. Dodo had to explain to her gently that she was probably too heavy and chunky (must he use that word?) for my female owner's father to pick up with one hand and be brought to the video camera. She felt indignant and argued that he could have used both hands to carry her, the way my female owner used to do.

Oh well... gloomy weather in the Balcony.

denial

Nanook is in denial that my female owner is gone, and will most likely be gone for a long time. She thinks that my female owner is only a long vacation and would turn up in the Balcony by the end of the week. In a way, I don't really blame her, coz my female owner has a penchant for travelling and would disappear for days, before announcing her grand arrival in her booming voice (like how she disappeared to the United States this period last year for 2 weeks and left my male owner hopping mad).

Dodo has been trying to knock some sense into her but to no avail. Think she will accept reality one day, when days pass into weeks, and weeks into months... and months into... oh well, I should stop here, otherwise it would be too depressing even for me.

Nanook's turn

Its has been a week since my female owner left. The house is really quieter without her. Nanook has kinda fallen ill. Maybe she misses her, coz Nanook has not been eating and has been keeping to herself.

I hope she will be ok. Even my female owner's father is worried for her.

call

My female owner called home today! Her father managed to activate the MSN voice call function so they could talk for free. So happy to hear her voice. Think she is settling in well. She got an apartment which she said was an upgrade from this house in Singapore (even the balcony is so much bigger!). Apparently the apartment overlooks the Brisbane river and is very near to her school. In the evenings, you can see many people jogging, cycling or skate-boarding in the area (the surroundings is crying out to her to keep fit, exercise regularly and forget about being a couch po-tah-to).

not the same

It's Chinese New Year! We are left alone in Singapore with our female owner's father. The house is really quiet, but I suppose this is something we need to get used to. It's really strange. In the past, our female owner was rarely at home and even if she was home, she hardly spent more than 10 minutes with us at any one time. Now that she is gone, we should be able to adjust to her absence fairly quickly. Somehow, it's just different, knowing that she's not going to pop into the Balcony at random times to pat us on our heads or to stroke our necks. It's just not the same anymore.

Within 8 months, we lose our closest human relationships. It's like a family where the parents undergo a divorce and the children are called for by the mum, only to lose her a few months later and be sent to an adoptive home.

farewell

It has been two days since my female owner left us. A number of her friends from different segments of her life took time to send her off at the airport. The cheeky ones from aikido bet if my female owner would cry. Of course, some won and some lost. For some reasons, the non-aikido friends started teasing her about her aikido instructor. Coz he came and once introduction was completed, headed straight towards the table where my female owner's father (and family) sat to talk to him (like what a boyfriend would do). Must clarify that the aikido instructor is a natural social butterfly, that's why he went to the family to speak to them (same age group, he said). My female owner's Second Onli Fren aka Donkey, came in classic diva manner, like 5 minutes before she had to go in. Her Onli Fren came, and despite so many farewell treats and organising the farewell party, blessed her again with a cutesy turtle Swatch watch. Now she has two watches (L also gave her one) to see her through her studies. Her JC friends claimed (after she went in and they started an sms exhange) that they were headed off to Terminal 3 - the actual highlight of the day. They are certainly not the most emotional of friends. P must have been so traumatised by my female owner's leaving that she misplaced her handphone and forgot to bring the card which she had painstakenly wrote. L, in her usual sentimental fashion, wrote a note in an organiser and gave it to her. Her hubby was also there, giving support. SC came smiling as usual and handed her a super long letter and jelly beans (which my female owner managed to bring over). There were also several smses, MSNs and calls that came in during the day, wishing my female owner all the best, bon voyages etc. So sweet of her friends. I don't think my female owner ever bothered to send anyone off in any manner in the past...

big head

My female owner connected home today! Her father managed to learn to use MSN and through it, my female owner asked about us.. or sort of.

FO: Don't feed my turtles too much.

Father: Fed them this morning.

FO: Ok, feed them again on Friday (note, this morning is Tuesday!)

Father: Ok

FO: Be careful of the big head turtle (aka me). Isolate her if necessary. She cannot eat too much.

Father: I will tape up her mouth.

FO: Be careful, she may scratch you.

Father: Then you will come back to turtle soup.

regards

After a long hectic day... my female owner sent us her regards and kisses. She didn't have time to tell us more.

Are we losing her?

last supper

My female owner had her "last supper" in Singapore with her group of badminton friends. As usual, it's all about her (sounds so spoilt!). So the group obliged her durian cravings and headed to Seletar Dam for some yummy durian supper. Really sweet of them. One of them did not even enjoy eating durians and ended up having two seeds.

So many things would have changed, if and when my female owner returns. For one, the two couples in the group would have gotten married.

Life stages may change, but hopefully, the friendship never ends.

babies and us

For the third Friday running, my female owner visited St James Bellini Room. This time, she went with her ex-colleagues who took time to have a farewell nightout with her. As usual, my female owner enjoyed herself very much, largely because she was with people whom she really love and appreciate and secondarily, because she got high on champagne, without the usual fainting part. That's a first, coz she usually knocks out whenever she goes drinking with her potato friend. Her tolerance leverl has reached a new height!

Last night, my female owner tried to find an adoptive parent for us and started asking around the table. K said no animals in his house, potato rejected her flat. So did eggplant. My female owner then asked her clever friend (the one who drove her to visit me in hospital last year and who told her the meaning of nookie) if he was willing to adopt me since he had seen me before. (She also decided to change her strategy coz asking people to take care of one turtle would probably be easier than asking people to take care of all four of us.)

Upon hearing her request, her clever friend laughed and said, "I don't think Nooki would want me, even if I want her".

....................

So sad. It is like people who think that babies are cute, only if they don't have to look after the baby. So people read about us on this blog and enjoy the stories... but don't want to look after us!

We miss

We miss our female owner. She's always rushing out of the house soon after waking up and coming home late at night. There's nothing we can do, but to wait patiently for her to return from her various appointments and hope that she has energy to spare to spend time with us. Alas, when she reaches home, she would log onto MSN to see who's available to talk to her. Sometimes, these people are the ones who she has just met in the day. She would chat until she becomes tired and heads to bed.

We miss our female owner. We wish that she would stop by the Balcony and play with us, rather than rushing by everyday for a cursory hi-bye. She will be gone real soon and we don't know when we will see her again, or whether we will even get to see her again.

We miss our female owner. 5/7 years with her passed by so fast. We took her for granted and now she will be gone for a long time.