why i enjoy being a turtle

Ten reasons why it's good to be a turtle.

1) We are expected to be slow, so people have little expectations of us. Hence, life is less stressful for us.

2) We are hardy. Think stone-age. We are likely to survive any drastic climatic changes in the environment.

3) We do not need to do silly tricks to entertain our owners, unlike our canine or feline counterparts.

4) We don't have to care for our young. Just lay the eggs and leave the hatchlings to fend for themselves.

5) We help our owners to save money. We don't need an elaborate living environment, are simple eaters and don't need grooming.

6) We are quiet. Hence, we don't annoy ourselves or others.

7) We are always home.

8) We have minimal pet obligations to fulfill. It is perfectly legitimate for us to bask in the sun the whole day and to hide in dark corners at other times. No sweat.

9) We have good temperaments. No matter how you try to scare us, we won't bite. Hence, we make good companions for men who are traumatised by their overbearing partners.

10) Finally, we are the colour of nature. We blend in with all things natural and brings healing to the injured soul.