My female owner had a mini-relapse today when she didn’t feel like going to church. The wave of lethargy came over her just before it was time to prepare for church (how strategic). So she ended up napping from 1453hr till 1500hr. Lying in bed, she struggled over whether she should struggle to get over her lethargy, get out of bed and head for church.
And she did.
She even went for dinner, which turned out to be unexpectedly fun. Haha. The laughters and funny comments that erupted spontaneously. An atmosphere which she didn’t realise during dinner but now she recognises one which she was so used to in Singapore, hanging out with her different groups of friends.
Through that dinner, she found sky-divers wannabes (??? I hear that she has semi-committed herself for it) and scuba-diving kakis (that I understand).
Suddenly Brisbane seems exciting, and studying, a chore.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
INFP
In her bid to soothe her indignance about being an "E", my female owner redid her MBTI test and obtained the profile she always had.
INFP
The Idealist
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.
As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.
INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.
Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.
INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.
INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.
INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.
INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.
INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.
INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.
INFP Relationships
INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them.
INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.
INFP Strengths
● Warmly concerned and caring towards others
● Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
● Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
● Deep capacity for love and caring
● Driven to meet other's needs
● Strive for "win-win" situations
● Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
● Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
● Able to express themselves well
● Flexible and diverse
INFP Weaknesses
● May tend to be shy and reserved
● Don't like to have their "space" invaded
● Extreme dislike of conflict
● Extreme dislike of criticism
● Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
● May react very emotionally to stressful situations
● Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
● Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
● Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
● Perfectionist tendencies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
● Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders
INFPs as Lovers
INFPs feel tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.
INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.
Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedestal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedestal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.
INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.
Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mate's satisfaction above their own.
One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. TJs relate to others with an objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.
For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.
INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.
In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of perceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.
INFPs as Parents
INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.
INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.
Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.
The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.
Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sidesi", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.
INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.
INFPs as Friends
INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.
With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.
INFP
The Idealist
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.
As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.
INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.
Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.
INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.
INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.
INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.
INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.
INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.
INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.
INFP Relationships
INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them.
INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.
INFP Strengths
● Warmly concerned and caring towards others
● Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
● Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
● Deep capacity for love and caring
● Driven to meet other's needs
● Strive for "win-win" situations
● Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
● Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
● Able to express themselves well
● Flexible and diverse
INFP Weaknesses
● May tend to be shy and reserved
● Don't like to have their "space" invaded
● Extreme dislike of conflict
● Extreme dislike of criticism
● Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
● May react very emotionally to stressful situations
● Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
● Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
● Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
● Perfectionist tendencies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
● Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders
INFPs as Lovers
INFPs feel tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.
INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.
Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedestal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedestal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.
INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.
Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mate's satisfaction above their own.
One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. TJs relate to others with an objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.
For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.
INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.
In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of perceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.
INFPs as Parents
INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.
INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.
Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.
The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.
Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sidesi", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.
INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.
INFPs as Friends
INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.
With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.
MBTI
Ever heard of the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator? My female owner has done that test in various forms a few times and always turn up as INFP. Being a F person, she was once upset when she sent a "warm" sms about a dinner appointment to her Functional Fren who replied with a "k" (as in "okay").
How curt, she thought. It was only when her MBTI expert friend (who happened to be involved in the cross-fire) explained that a T person would reply in that manner and think not too much about it, that my female owner was appeased. However, I dare say that she still gets annoyed if people replies her sms with a "k".
Anyway, she had a few exchanges with her Functional Fren and her Intuitive Fren (who do not know each other) regarding her personality. Among all her clever and high-potential friends, they are probably two of the most psychologically-minded. Both of them independently told her that they think she's an extrovert and my female owner had been vehemantly disagreeing with their arguments (till her face turn blue, I dare say).
So, the point of my thesis today is (wahaha, I'm sounding like my female owner... trying to seem scholarly), my female owner did another MBTI test via Facebook and here's her results.
Before reading through, do note that my female owner disagrees with the outcome (you will know which one).
____________________________________________________
ENFP
The Inspirer
Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(2%, 7%, 41%, 33% respectively)
Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.
As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.
ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.
ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.
An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.
Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.
An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not live with their value systems.
ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.
Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.
ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.
Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.
ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.
ENFP Relationships
ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals. ENFP
Strengths
● Good communication skills
● Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
● Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
● Warmly affectionate and affirming
● Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
● Strive for "win-win" situations
● Driven to meet other's needs
● Usually loyal and dedicated
ENFP Weaknesses
● Tendency to be smothering
● Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
● Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
● Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
● Extreme dislike of conflict
● Extreme dislike of criticism
● Don't pay attention to their own needs
● Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
● May become bored easily
● Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
ENFPs as Lovers
ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.
There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.
On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.
Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.
Sexually, the ENFP is creative, perfectionist, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.
The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for complements. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.
A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time.
The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.
Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition.
ENFPs as Parents
ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.
The ENFP may exhibit an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child's best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the ENFP's genuine desire to relate to their children on the children's level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child's friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.
The children of ENFPs generally feel loved, because the ENFP gives their children plenty of genuine warmth and support. They usually value their children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. The ENFP's enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to their children. This will be especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, who will have a difficult time understanding the effervescence of the ENFP, and will feel at times embarrassed by the ENFP's enthusiasm and tendency to display their affection publicly.
The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.
The rich imagination and creativity of the ENFP parent creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. The ENFP's strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. The ENFP parent is valued by their children for their warm, affirming natures, and their fun-loving approach to living.
ENFPs as Friends
ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.
In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. ENFPs will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case ENFPs may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.
ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, ENFPs may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.
For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.
How curt, she thought. It was only when her MBTI expert friend (who happened to be involved in the cross-fire) explained that a T person would reply in that manner and think not too much about it, that my female owner was appeased. However, I dare say that she still gets annoyed if people replies her sms with a "k".
Anyway, she had a few exchanges with her Functional Fren and her Intuitive Fren (who do not know each other) regarding her personality. Among all her clever and high-potential friends, they are probably two of the most psychologically-minded. Both of them independently told her that they think she's an extrovert and my female owner had been vehemantly disagreeing with their arguments (till her face turn blue, I dare say).
So, the point of my thesis today is (wahaha, I'm sounding like my female owner... trying to seem scholarly), my female owner did another MBTI test via Facebook and here's her results.
Before reading through, do note that my female owner disagrees with the outcome (you will know which one).
____________________________________________________
ENFP
The Inspirer
Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(2%, 7%, 41%, 33% respectively)
Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.
As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.
ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.
ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.
An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.
Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.
An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not live with their value systems.
ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.
Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.
ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.
Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.
ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.
ENFP Relationships
ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals. ENFP
Strengths
● Good communication skills
● Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
● Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
● Warmly affectionate and affirming
● Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
● Strive for "win-win" situations
● Driven to meet other's needs
● Usually loyal and dedicated
ENFP Weaknesses
● Tendency to be smothering
● Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
● Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
● Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
● Extreme dislike of conflict
● Extreme dislike of criticism
● Don't pay attention to their own needs
● Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
● May become bored easily
● Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
ENFPs as Lovers
ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.
There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.
On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.
Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.
Sexually, the ENFP is creative, perfectionist, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.
The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for complements. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.
A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time.
The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.
Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition.
ENFPs as Parents
ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.
The ENFP may exhibit an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child's best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the ENFP's genuine desire to relate to their children on the children's level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child's friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.
The children of ENFPs generally feel loved, because the ENFP gives their children plenty of genuine warmth and support. They usually value their children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. The ENFP's enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to their children. This will be especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, who will have a difficult time understanding the effervescence of the ENFP, and will feel at times embarrassed by the ENFP's enthusiasm and tendency to display their affection publicly.
The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.
The rich imagination and creativity of the ENFP parent creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. The ENFP's strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. The ENFP parent is valued by their children for their warm, affirming natures, and their fun-loving approach to living.
ENFPs as Friends
ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.
In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. ENFPs will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case ENFPs may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.
ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, ENFPs may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.
For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.
winter
The very fact that she has made it through winter gave my female owner a sense of triumph. Winter was the coldest and gloomiest season, with the strong harsh winds and short sunny days. It was soothing for my female owner, as she drew comparisons between this physical winter and the “winter” of her programme. The going may be tough at times, but the end result, fulfilling and strengthening. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Dodo taught me that a few years ago, when a plank of wood dropped on his shell and he was unharmed. Since then. he feared little things.
Dodo taught me that a few years ago, when a plank of wood dropped on his shell and he was unharmed. Since then. he feared little things.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
unprepared
The male client called the clinic, looking for my female owner. My female owner had no choice but to return his call (she deliberately waited two days to do that). As expected, he tried to ask her out for coffee. Although my female owner predicted that this was the reason behind the call, she failed to prepare a good response. Again, she highlighted that it was an ethical issue and that it was not professional for therapists to go out with their clients. And the male client argued that he was no longer her client. So she had to explain that…. Ok, I’m not sure what she said, coz she gave a blurry explanation which went over my head. No wonder he was not convinced too. The tussle lasted for about 10 minutes and the male client finally gave up.
Hopefully he doesn’t call her again, or else things might become complicated.
Hopefully he doesn’t call her again, or else things might become complicated.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
breakthroughs
My female owner feels more competent this week, because she has achieved breakthroughs with two families.
First, the Grandma who kept cancelling on her and whom my female owner almost sacked, has finally demonstrated commitment to attending the parenting programme on a weekly basis no less!
The strategy which my female owner used was to overcome Grandma’s resistance and apprehension was to first, allow Grandma to ventilate and then reflect that she was listening to her. Next, my female owner asked questions that aimed to help Grandma see how the family environment was impacting on her grandson’s behaviour. She also used Grandma’s words to increase buy-in. That slowly convinced Grandma that some undesirable things were happening at home. My female owner realised that head-on persuasion was not going to win anyone over and the best way to modify mindsets was to guide the other party to generate his own truths.
The second family was a pair of parents who were very consistent in attending therapy and doing homework. However, they were still struggling with getting the child to comply and the mother kept saying that time-out didn’t work. My female owner had been feeling helpless and apologetic about the situation. She felt that she had not done a good job in teasing out the family’s issues and had this fear that they would terminate on her abruptly.
My female owner went to their house yesterday for a “practice session”. The parents had to select a typical situation which they struggle with, set some goals in terms of demonstrating some parenting strategies correctly and carry out the plan in vivo. It was my female owner’s first time carrying out a practice session for any of her clients (yes, this set of parents are the first to reach this stage of the programme). She found the session enriching in terms of her professional development as a therapist and also, in identifying gaps in their parenting. Phew. She left the session feeling that she had redeemed her credibility.
So there you have it. Two good sessions this week.
First, the Grandma who kept cancelling on her and whom my female owner almost sacked, has finally demonstrated commitment to attending the parenting programme on a weekly basis no less!
The strategy which my female owner used was to overcome Grandma’s resistance and apprehension was to first, allow Grandma to ventilate and then reflect that she was listening to her. Next, my female owner asked questions that aimed to help Grandma see how the family environment was impacting on her grandson’s behaviour. She also used Grandma’s words to increase buy-in. That slowly convinced Grandma that some undesirable things were happening at home. My female owner realised that head-on persuasion was not going to win anyone over and the best way to modify mindsets was to guide the other party to generate his own truths.
The second family was a pair of parents who were very consistent in attending therapy and doing homework. However, they were still struggling with getting the child to comply and the mother kept saying that time-out didn’t work. My female owner had been feeling helpless and apologetic about the situation. She felt that she had not done a good job in teasing out the family’s issues and had this fear that they would terminate on her abruptly.
My female owner went to their house yesterday for a “practice session”. The parents had to select a typical situation which they struggle with, set some goals in terms of demonstrating some parenting strategies correctly and carry out the plan in vivo. It was my female owner’s first time carrying out a practice session for any of her clients (yes, this set of parents are the first to reach this stage of the programme). She found the session enriching in terms of her professional development as a therapist and also, in identifying gaps in their parenting. Phew. She left the session feeling that she had redeemed her credibility.
So there you have it. Two good sessions this week.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
cookie
You know, although my hot-blooded brothers had previously made the turtles living next door pregnant and caused them to lay 12 eggs in quick succession, my female owner had never put pressure on us (Nanook and myself) to produce mini-turtles. For that, I am grateful. I’m just like my female owner, lacking in maternal instinct. I can’t imagine being a mother. There’s a fine line between being maternal and being “auntie” and that’s why my female owner is guarded in the way she expresses concern for people.
My female owner once thought that she would be a mother by 18+++yrs. She was heading towards a cookie cutter middleclass Singaporean lifestyle. Study hard, go to university, get a good job, find a stable guy (who also did the same thing as her – studied hard, went to university, secured a good job, found a good wife (in her?)), get married and have two children.
When she realised that her cookie cutter lifestyle was probably not working out, she started to pursue her alternative lifestyle choice. While it is scary being out of norm, she has convinced herself that her non-cookie lifestyle has its perks too.
My female owner once thought that she would be a mother by 18+++yrs. She was heading towards a cookie cutter middleclass Singaporean lifestyle. Study hard, go to university, get a good job, find a stable guy (who also did the same thing as her – studied hard, went to university, secured a good job, found a good wife (in her?)), get married and have two children.
When she realised that her cookie cutter lifestyle was probably not working out, she started to pursue her alternative lifestyle choice. While it is scary being out of norm, she has convinced herself that her non-cookie lifestyle has its perks too.
Monday, August 25, 2008
hallucinate
My female owner thinks she hallucinated today – visually and tactilely. She had borrowed a laptop from her course coordinator to be used for the first of her tutorials’ group presentation. As she was running late, she set up the laptop in a haste. The group requested for a mouse and she opened up the extra compartment of the laptop bag in search for one. She found that comprtment to be filled to the brim, with a purse which she assumed to be the course corrdinator’s. Pushing that aside, she found a wireless mouse.
After the group presentation and while watching a video for the rest of the tutorial, she noticed that the wireless mouse was gone and made a mental note to get it from the group. She presumed that one of the students must have packed it away in haste.
At the end of the hour-long tutorial, she started to pack away the laptop and realised to her frustration that she forgot to check with the group regarding the runaway mouse. When she opened the compartment, she saw, with a sinking feeling, that the purse was gone! She searched around, but could not locate both the mouse and the purse. What she found instead (which she didn’t notice before), was a wired mouse.
She felt a sinking feeling within her, so heavy that she felt flattened. She couldn’t work out how the two items went missing, except that someone must have taken it. Despite the sunken feeling, she proceeded with her second class. Halfway through class (during the video screening), she decided that time was of essence and felt that she had to call the course coordinator and inform her of the missing purse and mouse.
Imagine her shock, when the course coordinator said that her wallet was next to her on the table. She also said that she wasn’t sure if she had a wireless mouse in that compartment.
So what did my female owner see and touch earlier? She still couldn’t work it out but yah, was relieved, nonetheless that she didn’t lose anybody’s purse. In this case, she would much rather have hallucinated than be grounded in reality and lose a purse.
After the group presentation and while watching a video for the rest of the tutorial, she noticed that the wireless mouse was gone and made a mental note to get it from the group. She presumed that one of the students must have packed it away in haste.
At the end of the hour-long tutorial, she started to pack away the laptop and realised to her frustration that she forgot to check with the group regarding the runaway mouse. When she opened the compartment, she saw, with a sinking feeling, that the purse was gone! She searched around, but could not locate both the mouse and the purse. What she found instead (which she didn’t notice before), was a wired mouse.
She felt a sinking feeling within her, so heavy that she felt flattened. She couldn’t work out how the two items went missing, except that someone must have taken it. Despite the sunken feeling, she proceeded with her second class. Halfway through class (during the video screening), she decided that time was of essence and felt that she had to call the course coordinator and inform her of the missing purse and mouse.
Imagine her shock, when the course coordinator said that her wallet was next to her on the table. She also said that she wasn’t sure if she had a wireless mouse in that compartment.
So what did my female owner see and touch earlier? She still couldn’t work it out but yah, was relieved, nonetheless that she didn’t lose anybody’s purse. In this case, she would much rather have hallucinated than be grounded in reality and lose a purse.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
sure win double choc chip cookie recipe
My female owner's next baking attempt:
Double Chocolate Chips Cookies
125g dark chocolate
150g flour
30g cocoa, sieved
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1/2 tsp salt
125g soft butter
75g light brown sugar
50g white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
350g chocolate chips
1. preheat oven to 170 degree. melt the 125g dark choclate in microwave or over a pan of simmering water.
2. put the cocoa, flour, bicarbonate of sodda and salt into a bowl.
3. cream the butter and sugars in an other bowl. add the melted chocolate and mix together.
4. beat in the vanilla extract and egg, then mix in the dry ingredients. finally stir in the chcolate chips.
5. scoop out 12 equal sized mounds - use an ice cream scoop and a palette knief. place on a baking sheet about 6cm aprt. do not flatten them
6. cook for 18 mins.
7. leave to cool on the baking sheet for 5 mins then transfer to a coooling rack.
My female owner is very convinced that this recipe is worth its weight in fats, coz her Onli Fren baked her some as a welcome gift when she came back recently. They were so yummy (right texture and taste) that my female owner had no qualms eating them, despite its obvious fattening nature (and you wonder why my female owner wonders why she put on 2 kg in those 2 weeks she was back home!)
Double Chocolate Chips Cookies
125g dark chocolate
150g flour
30g cocoa, sieved
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1/2 tsp salt
125g soft butter
75g light brown sugar
50g white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
350g chocolate chips
1. preheat oven to 170 degree. melt the 125g dark choclate in microwave or over a pan of simmering water.
2. put the cocoa, flour, bicarbonate of sodda and salt into a bowl.
3. cream the butter and sugars in an other bowl. add the melted chocolate and mix together.
4. beat in the vanilla extract and egg, then mix in the dry ingredients. finally stir in the chcolate chips.
5. scoop out 12 equal sized mounds - use an ice cream scoop and a palette knief. place on a baking sheet about 6cm aprt. do not flatten them
6. cook for 18 mins.
7. leave to cool on the baking sheet for 5 mins then transfer to a coooling rack.
My female owner is very convinced that this recipe is worth its weight in fats, coz her Onli Fren baked her some as a welcome gift when she came back recently. They were so yummy (right texture and taste) that my female owner had no qualms eating them, despite its obvious fattening nature (and you wonder why my female owner wonders why she put on 2 kg in those 2 weeks she was back home!)
inspiration
My female owner suffered a relapse and has been binge-eating for 2 days. The reason for her outburst is that she has to churn out a research proposal outline by Sunday for her research supervisor to approve. Her head has been swimming with questions and uncertainties and she found that it was difficult to get down to the drawing board. Exasperated, she retrieved her Honours thesis for some inspiration to try to start rolling out research ideas. For the life of her, my female owner couldn’t recall how she started that arduous process of formulating a research idea, confirming the research methodology, working through the statistics and finally writing up the paper.
In the process of gaining some inspiration (and possibly losing some instead), my female owner came across some random phrases which she reckoned she was she was once familiar with, but are now distant snippest of information (oh no! will that happen to us turtles?!)
“moderated repeated–measures regression analyses”
“psychophysiological reactivity hypothesis and the social-support reactivity hypothesis”
“large social network on behavioural, neuroendocrine and hemodynamic pathways”
“a power analysis of the sample size needed to detect a medium size in a two-way interaction”
“a standard occluding cuff with an internal sensor for detecting Korokoff sounds was positioned over the brachial artery”
“Principal components analysis (PCA) with Promax rotation was then used to reduce the dimensionality of the 15 mood adjectives”
Now you know why I suspect that whatever inspiration she had oozed away when she read through her previous thesis.
In the process of gaining some inspiration (and possibly losing some instead), my female owner came across some random phrases which she reckoned she was she was once familiar with, but are now distant snippest of information (oh no! will that happen to us turtles?!)
“moderated repeated–measures regression analyses”
“psychophysiological reactivity hypothesis and the social-support reactivity hypothesis”
“large social network on behavioural, neuroendocrine and hemodynamic pathways”
“a power analysis of the sample size needed to detect a medium size in a two-way interaction”
“a standard occluding cuff with an internal sensor for detecting Korokoff sounds was positioned over the brachial artery”
“Principal components analysis (PCA) with Promax rotation was then used to reduce the dimensionality of the 15 mood adjectives”
Now you know why I suspect that whatever inspiration she had oozed away when she read through her previous thesis.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friends
My female owner has been watching Friends on the sideline. What she means is that her housemates have been watching random episodes on DVD and because she is sitting in the balcony (she has one too!) which is next to the television in the living room, she gets remnants of the series (i.e. whenever her brain skives).
She probably watched more Friends in her entire life within this week than over the last ten years combined. Coincidentally, when she was back in Singapore recently spending impromptu moments with her Impromptu Frens, they had a few discussions about how each of them seemed to take after one character in Friends.
My female owner found Friends ultra hilarious and ticklish. At the same time, she shuttered at the thought of her Impromptu Frens taking after some of the characters. She would be so traumatised! Imagine having a friend who displays Joey’s himbo moments or Monica’s OCD features. Having a “Phoebe” around who goes all out to help her friends would be nice though… (my female owner’s personal favourite).
Now, who was who again? She can’t remember the verdict.
She probably watched more Friends in her entire life within this week than over the last ten years combined. Coincidentally, when she was back in Singapore recently spending impromptu moments with her Impromptu Frens, they had a few discussions about how each of them seemed to take after one character in Friends.
My female owner found Friends ultra hilarious and ticklish. At the same time, she shuttered at the thought of her Impromptu Frens taking after some of the characters. She would be so traumatised! Imagine having a friend who displays Joey’s himbo moments or Monica’s OCD features. Having a “Phoebe” around who goes all out to help her friends would be nice though… (my female owner’s personal favourite).
Now, who was who again? She can’t remember the verdict.
P.S.
My female owner watched P.S. I Love You just now, when she should be doing her research proposal. I don’t blame her. Who wants to work on something so boring on a Friday night? Friday nights used to be her party nights.
The movie depicted marriage as a sweet and heart-warming experience (is love really that sweet?!). Certain segments of the show evoked memories of what my ex-male owner used to say or do for my female owner. For example, while holding her arms in a heated argument, the male lead asked his wife, “what do you want? I know what I want, what I want is in my hands now.”
My female owner could never answer that question definitively. There were things she wanted… but only if certain criteria were met. Like she would marry him, but only if he got himself a stable job and stablise himself financially. And if he could not secure a stable job, then she would want other things (like delay marriage and progress in other areas of her life).
But anyway, my female owner was able to watch the show, detached from the past. So that’s good news. She’s all good now, single and free. No bitterness of the past.. except that she spent too long in that relationship. Waste of her youth, she says.
The movie depicted marriage as a sweet and heart-warming experience (is love really that sweet?!). Certain segments of the show evoked memories of what my ex-male owner used to say or do for my female owner. For example, while holding her arms in a heated argument, the male lead asked his wife, “what do you want? I know what I want, what I want is in my hands now.”
My female owner could never answer that question definitively. There were things she wanted… but only if certain criteria were met. Like she would marry him, but only if he got himself a stable job and stablise himself financially. And if he could not secure a stable job, then she would want other things (like delay marriage and progress in other areas of her life).
But anyway, my female owner was able to watch the show, detached from the past. So that’s good news. She’s all good now, single and free. No bitterness of the past.. except that she spent too long in that relationship. Waste of her youth, she says.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Temperament and Personality questionnaire
Things my female owner do when she is procrastinating...
Completing a dubious online questionnaire...
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/surveys/Temperament/index.html
____________________________________________
The following information summarises your scores on ten personality dimensions and includes a brief description of how each of these dimensions influences non-melancholic depression, based on our research at the Black Dog Institute.
Each of the personality dimensions below may increase or decrease the chance of non-melancholic depression. However, it is important to remember that non-melancholic depression usually results from an interaction between stressful events and personality, not personality alone, and that there are other factors involved. Therefore a high score on any of the scales below does NOT mean that depression is inevitable. Rather, it is useful to identify the role of personality in an individual's episode of non-melancholic depression because such characteristics (e.g. worrying, irritability) can be modified, with the aid of a health care professional, in order to effectively treat the depression.
It is important to note the limitations to our feedback. Firstly, it is based on self-reported information and is therefore influenced by our capacity to know ourselves. Secondly, the dimensions are not entirely precise and scores on each scale are capable of being very much influenced by a range of other personality characteristics and current mood. Thus, we emphasise that we cannot declare that our judgements are necessarily accurate.
'Anxious worrying':
You scored 15 on this scale. High scores (18 and over) indicate a greater tendency to become stressed, worried and anxious. If unaddressed, excessive anxious worrying can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression.
'Perfectionism':
You scored 26 on this scale. High scores (31 and over) are associated with a tendency to be very responsible and reliable, have high standards for oneself and to be highly committed to task and duties. While perfectionism can be a constructive characteristic, when extremely high it can actually limit one's functioning. High scorers on this dimension are somewhat less likely to get depressed than the general population. However, certain events can trigger a severe depression. These stressful events tend to involve loss of control in an important area, or the feeling that one's pride has been hurt.
'Personal reserve':
You scored 11 on this scale. High scores (17 and over) are associated with a tendency to keep one's inner feelings to oneself. People high on 'personal reserve' tend to be reluctant to let friends and acquaintances get to know them too well. Scoring high on 'personal reserve' can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression, particularly following events that challenge concerns about closeness.
'Irritability':
You scored 7 on this scale. High scores (21 and over) are associated with a tendency to be quick-tempered and to 'externalise' stress by becoming 'snappy' and irritated by little things. Scoring high on this dimension indicates an increased risk to brief episodes of non-melancholic depression.
'Social avoidance':
You scored 14 on this scale. High scores (17 and over) on this dimension are associated with a tendency to be introverted and to keep to oneself, while those low on this dimension tend to be very sociable. High scores indicate a moderately increased risk to non-melancholic depression.
'Self-focused':
You scored 1 on this scale. High scores (9 and over) are associated with a tendency to prioritise one's own needs over the needs of others. People high on the 'self-focused' dimension can be more likely to develop depression when their needs are not met. However, these depressive episodes tend to be relatively brief, often because the individual externalises their frustration.
'Self-criticism':
You scored 12 on this scale. High scores (10 and over) are associated with a tendency to be quite tough on oneself. An ongoing style of self-blame and self-criticism can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression. However, it is important to note that most people become more self-critical when they are depressed. Thus, if you are currently depressed, a high score on this scale does not necessarily indicate an ongoing style of self-criticism.
'Interpersonal sensitivity':
You scored 11 on this scale. High scores (14 and over) are associated with a tendency to worry about rejection or abandonment. Feeling rejected in an important relationship is a common trigger for non-melancholic depression amongst people with high interpersonal sensitivity.
'Co-operativeness':
You scored 28 on this scale. High scores (20 and over) on this scale are associated with a tendency to be generally helpful, compassionate, empathic and get along well with others.
'Effectiveness':
You scored 15 on this scale. High scores (18 and over) on this scale indicate an ability to cope well with different situations and to be confident in problem-solving. People who are particularly low on the 'effectiveness' dimension may have an increased risk of developing non-melancholic depression if they encounter a stressful situation which is beyond their coping skills.
Completing a dubious online questionnaire...
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/surveys/Temperament/index.html
____________________________________________
The following information summarises your scores on ten personality dimensions and includes a brief description of how each of these dimensions influences non-melancholic depression, based on our research at the Black Dog Institute.
Each of the personality dimensions below may increase or decrease the chance of non-melancholic depression. However, it is important to remember that non-melancholic depression usually results from an interaction between stressful events and personality, not personality alone, and that there are other factors involved. Therefore a high score on any of the scales below does NOT mean that depression is inevitable. Rather, it is useful to identify the role of personality in an individual's episode of non-melancholic depression because such characteristics (e.g. worrying, irritability) can be modified, with the aid of a health care professional, in order to effectively treat the depression.
It is important to note the limitations to our feedback. Firstly, it is based on self-reported information and is therefore influenced by our capacity to know ourselves. Secondly, the dimensions are not entirely precise and scores on each scale are capable of being very much influenced by a range of other personality characteristics and current mood. Thus, we emphasise that we cannot declare that our judgements are necessarily accurate.
'Anxious worrying':
You scored 15 on this scale. High scores (18 and over) indicate a greater tendency to become stressed, worried and anxious. If unaddressed, excessive anxious worrying can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression.
'Perfectionism':
You scored 26 on this scale. High scores (31 and over) are associated with a tendency to be very responsible and reliable, have high standards for oneself and to be highly committed to task and duties. While perfectionism can be a constructive characteristic, when extremely high it can actually limit one's functioning. High scorers on this dimension are somewhat less likely to get depressed than the general population. However, certain events can trigger a severe depression. These stressful events tend to involve loss of control in an important area, or the feeling that one's pride has been hurt.
'Personal reserve':
You scored 11 on this scale. High scores (17 and over) are associated with a tendency to keep one's inner feelings to oneself. People high on 'personal reserve' tend to be reluctant to let friends and acquaintances get to know them too well. Scoring high on 'personal reserve' can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression, particularly following events that challenge concerns about closeness.
'Irritability':
You scored 7 on this scale. High scores (21 and over) are associated with a tendency to be quick-tempered and to 'externalise' stress by becoming 'snappy' and irritated by little things. Scoring high on this dimension indicates an increased risk to brief episodes of non-melancholic depression.
'Social avoidance':
You scored 14 on this scale. High scores (17 and over) on this dimension are associated with a tendency to be introverted and to keep to oneself, while those low on this dimension tend to be very sociable. High scores indicate a moderately increased risk to non-melancholic depression.
'Self-focused':
You scored 1 on this scale. High scores (9 and over) are associated with a tendency to prioritise one's own needs over the needs of others. People high on the 'self-focused' dimension can be more likely to develop depression when their needs are not met. However, these depressive episodes tend to be relatively brief, often because the individual externalises their frustration.
'Self-criticism':
You scored 12 on this scale. High scores (10 and over) are associated with a tendency to be quite tough on oneself. An ongoing style of self-blame and self-criticism can increase the risk of developing non-melancholic depression. However, it is important to note that most people become more self-critical when they are depressed. Thus, if you are currently depressed, a high score on this scale does not necessarily indicate an ongoing style of self-criticism.
'Interpersonal sensitivity':
You scored 11 on this scale. High scores (14 and over) are associated with a tendency to worry about rejection or abandonment. Feeling rejected in an important relationship is a common trigger for non-melancholic depression amongst people with high interpersonal sensitivity.
'Co-operativeness':
You scored 28 on this scale. High scores (20 and over) on this scale are associated with a tendency to be generally helpful, compassionate, empathic and get along well with others.
'Effectiveness':
You scored 15 on this scale. High scores (18 and over) on this scale indicate an ability to cope well with different situations and to be confident in problem-solving. People who are particularly low on the 'effectiveness' dimension may have an increased risk of developing non-melancholic depression if they encounter a stressful situation which is beyond their coping skills.
counseling
My female owner had a mini-counselling session with her trained counselor friend last night. After a while of talking/ typing (since it’s MSN), the friend commented that her counseling skills had improved.
Wahaha. Always one for feedback, my female owner asked in what ways and the friend highlighted that her questions provoked more thinking whereas in the past, she was more directive.
Yay! An endorsement from a trained personnel. My female owner is heading in the right direction.
The power of asking the right questions.
Actually, my female owner had never been trained in counseling. She didn’t pursue that module in school and learnt her hand-me-down skills from her ex-colleagues at work, some of whom hated to do counseling! And using those hand-me-down skills (thankfully she was armed with a short stint at a mental hospital), she had to assess lay people on their aptitude to be a para-counselor, conduct workshops to train them in counseling and provide counseling to others who need it.
Going to Brisbane, she starts to learn the science behind the art and is now able to apply the techniques with greater appreciation.
Wahaha. Always one for feedback, my female owner asked in what ways and the friend highlighted that her questions provoked more thinking whereas in the past, she was more directive.
Yay! An endorsement from a trained personnel. My female owner is heading in the right direction.
The power of asking the right questions.
Actually, my female owner had never been trained in counseling. She didn’t pursue that module in school and learnt her hand-me-down skills from her ex-colleagues at work, some of whom hated to do counseling! And using those hand-me-down skills (thankfully she was armed with a short stint at a mental hospital), she had to assess lay people on their aptitude to be a para-counselor, conduct workshops to train them in counseling and provide counseling to others who need it.
Going to Brisbane, she starts to learn the science behind the art and is now able to apply the techniques with greater appreciation.
day
My female owner woke up this morning, wondering which day of the week it was. Monday? Tuesday? She absolutely lost track. Imagine her glee when she realised, many moments later, that she has reached FRIDAY!
Wow!
Creeping closer to her EDR (expected day of return).
Wow!
Creeping closer to her EDR (expected day of return).
Thursday, August 21, 2008
report
My female owner finally realised one good thing (yes, just one) about having had to conduct countless 2-hr long psychological interviews and then to churn out 6-7pages of reports for graduates who wish to join her ex-organisation. And the one good thing is, she has acquired the ability to draw from different sources of information and integrate them to produce quality psychological reports.
What happened was that today, she had to show her new clinical supervisor some of her past written reports. He was impressed by what he read and complimented her style of writing. He concluded that he would not need to allocate time to brush up her report-writing skills. (My cynical female owner thought that it could also be that he was expecting poor English from an international student. Hur hur. Apparently, many people are surprised when they hear my female owner speaking fluent English.)
Those yucky hours were not spent in vain after all.
What happened was that today, she had to show her new clinical supervisor some of her past written reports. He was impressed by what he read and complimented her style of writing. He concluded that he would not need to allocate time to brush up her report-writing skills. (My cynical female owner thought that it could also be that he was expecting poor English from an international student. Hur hur. Apparently, many people are surprised when they hear my female owner speaking fluent English.)
Those yucky hours were not spent in vain after all.
SC
Saying farewell is hard.
My female owner said a cyber farewell to her stranger-turned-colleague-turned-companion-sister-in-Christ-social-support-BBQ-organiser-light-of-the-office-awesome-friend a couple of days ago.
SC entered her life as the next junior in the office in 2006. Their offices were located next to each other. As the both of them were usually the only ones in that wing of the office, they spent many random moments talking over the cubicle wall that separates their office space.
SC demonstrated to my female owner what it was like, to take things in one's own stride, to do everything in joy and to be humble. They had similar difficulties in the office, but SC was still the sunshine girl, smiling at every situation, refusing to allow anything to get her down.
In addition, SC was very very driven. All along, she wanted to pursue a PhD in clinical psychology in the United States. Her passion, conviction and faith in God (to provide the way for her) led her to prepare for the notoriously difficult GMAT and go knocking on doors to get academic support from people in the field.
SC's faith in God and perserverance was rewarded when she snagged a Masters place in the Columbia University in New York City. One step closer to her goal. And so, after more than a year of preparation, she left Sunny Singapore on Tuesday, all geared up to fulfill her dream.
It's so hard to say goodbye even when you are not there to see a good friend leave for (near) good. My female owner needs to get used to the idea that she would not be able to catch-up with SC when she returns to Singapore. An irrelevant but good thing to look forward to is that her Librarian Fren would be returning to Singapore soon.
She wonders however, if this group of ex-colleagues-turned-friends would ever have a full reunion where everyone would be present (yes, even the non-commital ones!)
My female owner said a cyber farewell to her stranger-turned-colleague-turned-companion-sister-in-Christ-social-support-BBQ-organiser-light-of-the-office-awesome-friend a couple of days ago.
SC entered her life as the next junior in the office in 2006. Their offices were located next to each other. As the both of them were usually the only ones in that wing of the office, they spent many random moments talking over the cubicle wall that separates their office space.
SC demonstrated to my female owner what it was like, to take things in one's own stride, to do everything in joy and to be humble. They had similar difficulties in the office, but SC was still the sunshine girl, smiling at every situation, refusing to allow anything to get her down.
In addition, SC was very very driven. All along, she wanted to pursue a PhD in clinical psychology in the United States. Her passion, conviction and faith in God (to provide the way for her) led her to prepare for the notoriously difficult GMAT and go knocking on doors to get academic support from people in the field.
SC's faith in God and perserverance was rewarded when she snagged a Masters place in the Columbia University in New York City. One step closer to her goal. And so, after more than a year of preparation, she left Sunny Singapore on Tuesday, all geared up to fulfill her dream.
It's so hard to say goodbye even when you are not there to see a good friend leave for (near) good. My female owner needs to get used to the idea that she would not be able to catch-up with SC when she returns to Singapore. An irrelevant but good thing to look forward to is that her Librarian Fren would be returning to Singapore soon.
She wonders however, if this group of ex-colleagues-turned-friends would ever have a full reunion where everyone would be present (yes, even the non-commital ones!)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
therapeutic
Having completed about 85hrs of direct client contact (my female owner needs 115hrs more to pass her internship), my female owner has reached a stage where she wants to undergo psychotherapy herself. The experience, she reckons, would be helpful in understanding what her clients go through as they come to see her week after week. In addition, she expects it to be therapeutic, addressing some of the misses in her life.
Any recommendations anyone?
Any recommendations anyone?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
end
My female owner ended another therapeutic relationship today. Well, sort-of. The set of parents was one of her first clients when she first started her clinical work. They came to the clinic because they were having problems managing their 9-year-old daughter. Non-compliance, temper tantrums and laziness.
They are young and modern, obviously doing well in life. They are also expecting a baby in September. From the very beginning, my female owner had problems getting them to do therapy homework. They either claimed that nothing adverse happened during the week or that they did their homework but forgot to bring. Even though dad is not the biological father, he was more conscientious than mum. Nonetheless, they were both attentive and motivated, often quoting what my female owner said in the previous session (which my female owner obviously didn’t remember saying).
Anyway, in July, Yuppie Parents requested to take an extended break because they were in the midst of renovating and moving house. They said they would be back in mid-August. Today, my female owner decided to make contact with Yuppie Mum because she knew that Yuppie Mum was going to give birth. As expected, Yuppie Mum sounded flustered and disorganised but she eventually calmed down and spoke coherently to my female owner.
She was a little shaken when my female owner proposed closing their file in view that they would not be able to come into the clinic for quite a while and my female owner had to move on to another clinic. She was reluctant to continue with another psychologist and wanted assurance that my female owner would be able to pick up their case again when they came back. This was obviously something that my female owner was not able to promise but my female owner told her to call nonetheless when they are ready. Yuppie Mum went on to ask about my female owner’s holiday, school and future plans (crossing some boundaries here but that’s Yuppie Mum for you).
It warmed my female owner’s heart when Yuppie Mum told her that she had been a great help to them and that they would want to come in, even if it was just to say thank you and goodbye.
Ahhh… the perks of clinical work - knowing that you made a difference to a family.
They are young and modern, obviously doing well in life. They are also expecting a baby in September. From the very beginning, my female owner had problems getting them to do therapy homework. They either claimed that nothing adverse happened during the week or that they did their homework but forgot to bring. Even though dad is not the biological father, he was more conscientious than mum. Nonetheless, they were both attentive and motivated, often quoting what my female owner said in the previous session (which my female owner obviously didn’t remember saying).
Anyway, in July, Yuppie Parents requested to take an extended break because they were in the midst of renovating and moving house. They said they would be back in mid-August. Today, my female owner decided to make contact with Yuppie Mum because she knew that Yuppie Mum was going to give birth. As expected, Yuppie Mum sounded flustered and disorganised but she eventually calmed down and spoke coherently to my female owner.
She was a little shaken when my female owner proposed closing their file in view that they would not be able to come into the clinic for quite a while and my female owner had to move on to another clinic. She was reluctant to continue with another psychologist and wanted assurance that my female owner would be able to pick up their case again when they came back. This was obviously something that my female owner was not able to promise but my female owner told her to call nonetheless when they are ready. Yuppie Mum went on to ask about my female owner’s holiday, school and future plans (crossing some boundaries here but that’s Yuppie Mum for you).
It warmed my female owner’s heart when Yuppie Mum told her that she had been a great help to them and that they would want to come in, even if it was just to say thank you and goodbye.
Ahhh… the perks of clinical work - knowing that you made a difference to a family.
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My siblings and I
From top left: Dodo, Dona, me (Nooki) and Nanook