bored

I'm tired.. but I think I will squeeze in another entry before I sleep..

As I mentioned before, my female owner has more time on her hands these days. Hence, she spends more time thinking and brooding over things, past, present and future. One of the hot topics now revolves around how she managed to get through last year, and why she was so stretched for time then. She has repressed so much of her memories that she can’t really recall what kept her so busy.

The next related topic is mulling over whether she will be able to complete her programme on time and with good results. Already, she is feeling very sian about the programme.

She has only two modules this semester. With 13 lessons of three hours each per module, she can actually complete the syllabus in three weeks (i.e. 13 half-days per module) if the school did a compressed schedule. That sounds better than spreading the module over 3 months yah? "What a blxxxy waste of time”

She is also bored with her externship. Though it is a unique setting with lotsa potential for personal growth and character building, my female owner does not think it provides her with adequate clinical training. The only saving graces of this externship are that the people are very nice and that it is paid.

My female owner also doesn't fancy her research field. She does not know what her research question is, although she has some data on-hand. Her research supervisor gives vague comments and thus, she has to make out her own direction. The external parties she is working with are unhelpful and give her a hard time. My female owner reckons that she has to do some “reverse engineering” where she would have to seek out relevant literature to support her data findings (when she finally manages to narrow down what she will be analysing).

The more she reads, the more she lacks. She seriously wonders if she is able to “make it” as a credible and effective psychologist. She is paranoid about putting in so much time, effort and money, only to graduate as a “half-past-six” psychologist, backed by nothing but her paper qualification. My female owner says she misses working too (I think she is mad, she is suffering from “the grass is greener on the other side” disease).

Deadlines keep my female owner's adrenalin flowing and so far, she has been having elastic deadlines. Her system cannot cope with such flexibility due to her wanton lack of self-discipline and selective sense of urgency.