disengaged

My female owner feels disengaged from her bible study group. She’s not sure if it is the stress from doing her thesis that is causing her not to enjoy the group as much as before. She still treasures certain individuals in the group and would find time to socialise with them but finds it a chore to talk to the “unfamiliar people”. Little things that some people do or say in the group annoy her and make her think “what nonsense is this?”. She knows that this is not healthy and at times, just wants to disengage totally, like disappear, so that the group can move on happily without her. She doesn’t really want to put on a happy face when she really isn’t. Or engage in small talk when all she wants is to be quiet and keep to herself. It’s no longer a place where she is who she is.

Alas, it is impossible to disappear, given that her house is like a social hub for church people. Thankfully, the people who hang around her house are the people whom she feels comfortable to. Yet, not comfortable enough to share these inner conflicts.