stinginess

My female owner realises that she is highly traumatised by stingy men. She is ok with guys who are thrifty or prudent in their spending. In fact, she appreciates that. But stinginess? No way. It’s hard even to be her friend if that is the case.

Perhaps it is a difference in values system or something else but she really gets repulsed by guys who hoard money beyond reason. And she argues that stinginess is not a function of your earning power. Her previous boyfriends were not rich, but they were generous. And that (other than the fact that love is blind) made them attractive.

She says that it is hard to be relational to a stingy person. The more you give, the more he takes, for granted. That is not mutual, not a relationship. A relationship (romantic or platonic) necessitates a give-and-take orientation. Sometimes, you give (not just finances, but time, effort etc) because you can/ want/ need to. Sometimes you take. Because you lack. There is no clear calculation of the maths or balance sheet of who gave more or who owed more. But the end result is a strong, reciprocal relationship.

Stinginess? Not her idea of a relationship.