space

Hmm… my female owner went out alone with Fated Guy today. Tis strange, how things unfolded she said.

It was meant to be just a dinner, which extended to tea, movie, dinner, dessert and telly at her house. He ended up leaving after midnight. My female owner’s friends have been teasing her about him and wondering (very) aloud if anything else is happening between them. My female owner’s answer has always been a firm no. And today, after being in close proximity for more than 9hr, my female owner knows there is nothing more than friendship between them. She sums up the relationship as "functional".

But yes, he was once again very gentlemanly (this trait always melts my female owner’s heart) and thoughtful. Giving her space to choose what she wants and insisting that she expresses what she wants, encouraging her to try new things, killing a cockroach even (dunno why insects and bugs always appear whenever they are together and he’s like the bug terminator) and other typical gentlemanly gestures. There was an emotive situation that arose which my female owner thought he handled well and in the process, reflected his thoughtfulness.

My female owner says for now, he is another rare counter-evidence for her previous mantra “all guys are bad”

need... want...

My female owner recently got into a thought-provoking discussion with her housemates and Emo Sponge during a house dinner, over a conversation she had with her ex.

Ex: “Sometimes, I feel that you don’t need me, coz you can do everything yourself”
FO: “You are right, I don’t need you. But I want you. That’s why I chose to be with you.”

My female owner wanted to pick Emo Sponge’s brain on how a male would typically react to something that goes along that line of “I don’t need you but I want you”. My female owner, in all honesty, meant it to be a compliment. But she later figured that it was probably quite ego-bruising for a guy to be told point-blank that he is not needed. Needless to say, that sharing stimulated a lot of laughter and spins-off of “I don’t need XXX but I want XXX”.

flourish

My female owner had the most impromptu dinner of all yesterday. A series of events that started on Tuesday, followed by miscommunication between two people on Wednesday, led to one (a guy) offering to cook dinner for the other (a gal) and my female owner while he was driving back from work.

My female owner was highly impressed with what the guy did. From rushing back after work, to grocery shopping, to picking up both of them to go to his house, to cooking four yummy dishes, to taking food for them during dinner, to washing up everything (including the sink!), to bringing them out for desserts, to sharing with them bible stories over desserts (takes a lot of energy to keep talking, my female owner reckons) and sending them home afterwards.

*touched*

Although it might be offensive to some, my female owner still stands by her observation that guys in Brisbane are generally nicer, more gentlemanly and talented (in cooking?). Having said that, there are a few exceptions among her Singaporean friends. Quite certainly, the environment in Brisbane allows this softer of them to flourish. In Singapore, who really bothers to cook a meal for others impromptuly? And why would guys needs to take care of girls since everyone has a family to go home to?

Ah, another highly recommended guy for a deserving gal.

stinginess

My female owner realises that she is highly traumatised by stingy men. She is ok with guys who are thrifty or prudent in their spending. In fact, she appreciates that. But stinginess? No way. It’s hard even to be her friend if that is the case.

Perhaps it is a difference in values system or something else but she really gets repulsed by guys who hoard money beyond reason. And she argues that stinginess is not a function of your earning power. Her previous boyfriends were not rich, but they were generous. And that (other than the fact that love is blind) made them attractive.

She says that it is hard to be relational to a stingy person. The more you give, the more he takes, for granted. That is not mutual, not a relationship. A relationship (romantic or platonic) necessitates a give-and-take orientation. Sometimes, you give (not just finances, but time, effort etc) because you can/ want/ need to. Sometimes you take. Because you lack. There is no clear calculation of the maths or balance sheet of who gave more or who owed more. But the end result is a strong, reciprocal relationship.

Stinginess? Not her idea of a relationship.

prickly

My female owner is edgy today. I think it is a sure sign of stress. She caught up with Onli Fren on MSN and one of the first things Onli Fren said was “why are u anti-men today?”

Hmm. That made my female owner do a double-take. Over the weekend, she was exposed to “good men”.

For example, Mr Nice Guy who drove them all the way from St Lucia to Noosa Heads (about 3 hours) and back, without complaining. He even washed and cleaned the car (which belonged to another person) by himself and without being asked.

Two guys (including Mr Nice Guy) who woke up early on Saturday to prepare breakfast (think McMuffins and Hotcakes).

Guys who volunteered to carry a heavy backpack for a female friend during the Coastal Trail.

Yet, she is still prickly about guys. Particularly because over a few days, she saw how SOF was “hen-packed” in the presence of SOF’B. Despite her wilful inclinations, my female owner is submissive at heart and I know she would want her guy to lead in the relationship. In fact, she finds guys who lead and are decisive attractive. But she cannot tolerate guys who make decisions without considering what the gal wants or guys who override their partners’ decisions for no good reason (e.g. just a matter of preference).

But well… not all guys are bad. So hopefully, she will stop being so edgy.