reality

When my female owner quitted her job two years ago to pursue her post-graduate overseas education dream, she knew that she was paying a high price for this decision. By deviating from the norm and possibly regressing into studenthood, she would inevitably be “left behind” in many aspects of adulthood – career, family, finances.

So you might remember that my female owner took a long time to adjust to this detour in life. Eventually, she got used to life as it is, not as it was, or could have been. And she floated along, in bliss, happy to be where she is.

Until come this year, when reality is starting to hit home, that she is really going to graduate and rejoin “adulthood” that she is feeling “oh shit”. No use denying her current state of being. The disparity that was created between her peers and her when she left the cushy life is now even greater and the contrast more stark. Even within her bible study group, people are building futures for themselves through financial investments, property purchases and career advancements.

She has nothing but a doctorate to her name. People try to encourage her that with her qualifications, she can quickly build up something for herself. She knows the reality better than them. She knows where she is, what she has and what lies before her as a new graduate. Hence, it is cold comfort, in fact, she might even consider them as words spoken with good intentions but out of ignorance. The feeling of having to start from scratch again. Of maybe having to make do with small goals or not being able to plan for greater things, given her practical constraints. Sometimes, she gets a little sad thinking about it. But this is the path she has chosen for herself and she will stick by her decision. While the feeling sucks, my female owner says she would still choose to pursue post-grad, but perhaps, with better forward planning, using a different route.