sponge

We finally heard from my female owner today. About one week of non-contact. Her mother almost went into a hissy fit trying to nail her down all this past week. My female owner had been struggling with her stats. She describes it as going in circles, not knowing if what she is doing is right and even when she reaches some conclusion, she doesn’t know if she used the right route. How scary that must be, if this symbolises one’s life?

Happily, someone offered to be her emo-sponge, to listen to her gripes if she needed to offload anything, and she has accepted the offer. This is significant coz my female owner is highly selective in who she really opens up to. However, for now, she is saying that she will be ok. In some sense, my female owner seems to be putting on a brave front – after all, how can a psychologist not be able to manage stress?

My female owner tried to describe her emotions over the past week and she couldn’t really do it. Not depressive. Not sad. Not tearful. Maybe anxious? Maybe tense? Maybe preoccupied (with stats)? Not happy. Not playful. Not light-hearted. Maybe grouchy?

Ah, probably masked feelings. She meets up with her friends regularly but she couldn’t smile from the heart. She still enjoys the times they had, having meals, chit-chatting etc, but yet, experienced no alleviation from the mental stress of her research. On certain days, she wishes she could isolate herself socially so that she can immerse herself into stats.

I think my female owner is just stressed, acutely stressed. She feels alone in this journey in an instrumental way. She has been blessed with lotsa support and encouragement from friends in both continents. It’s just that instrumentally, none of them could help her with stats.

But she will get through this. She always does.