fine-tuning

Amidst her jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none life, my female owner finally internalised that she had lost focus again. Before that, she only had fleeting thoughts about it.

She started this year, asserting that this is the year of dedication to God. The year started rough, with placement problems, homesickness, restarting in a new church group etc. Then she was confronted with issues of the past and had to deal with them. Her emotions went down and downer before they stabilised on an upswing.

After some months, she got used to Brisbane, had some major mindset shift and more or less settled down comfortably in her second year of overseas living.

My female owner felt that she had moved on from her bondages. No longer dwelling in the past or grieving over different losses. Therefore, she is now stronger, sharper and more stable. And that was when pride started to seep in, insidiously. She felt that she could take on more stuff given her newfound abilities. In her pursuit of a more fulfilling lifestyle, she had once again, deviated from God.

Prayers became half-hearted. Bible-reading became novel-reading. Her priorities shifted, her goals became blurred and she became too distracted with having fun to spend adequate time with God. She had become too proud and independent again. Time for fine-tuning again.