rocky

Have you ever quarrelled with your parents? What do you do after that?

My female owner was reminded of her rocky relationship with her mother today. From a young age, mother and daughter had problems getting along. Each outing they had would usually end up in a quarrel. This trend was so predictable that her father would instruct her before they went out “don’t quarrel with mummy”. Hardly works. He should have phrased his words positively. Instead of telling her what NOT to do, he could have taught her what to do instead.

During the all famous storm and stress adolescent years, conflicts ran aplenty and there were episodes of shouting matches which sometimes ended with the slamming of doors (only my female owner, not her mum. I wonder where she picked that up from). My female owner had a lot of pride in her and she would NEVER say sorry. She also lacked skills in conflict resolution and her main way of coping with the aftermath of a full-blown argument was … a cold war. Her father, a man with strong linguistic ability and wide general knowledge, had a term for this behaviour. He called it the “non-talking technique”. So there you go, not talking to her mother while she was still seething inside. And when her anger had dissipated, pride prevented her from making the first move to talk to her mother (even casually). Her mother was most certainly the first one to say something to her. Of course, my female owner would reciprocate with an appropriate response.

Thank goodness, these tensions peppered out over the past few years. In fact, non-existent to the point that she literally forgot that they once had a rocky (but strongly bonded) relationship.