cutesy

Some of my female owner's favourite photos of Sayang...my female owner cant help wondering why some animals can look so cutesy without even trying...

him sitting quietly in the garden

him wandering amongst the bushes..

right after the door slammed and scared him out of his wits dunno what happened here... apparently my female owner just dragged him from under the bed
Sayang on weed?

silliness

After 78 days, my female owner finally received the report for her thesis yesterday. The good news is that she has a provisional pass, pending minor changes to certain parts of it. The not-so-good news is that she can’t graduate this year as she has hoped. Given that her hopes were conclusively dashed, my female owner’s spirit spiralled downwards. Objectively she knew that she did well. Examiner A passed her without asking for any revisions. Examiner B needed just ten revisions and most of them were nitpicking on her grammar and nothing too conceptual or dramatic. An easy-peasy revision to be honest. Subjectively, she was upset. Her perfectionistic streak was ruffled. Rather than saying she had a provisional pass, she told a friend that she did not pass her thesis. Ah, the difference between a positive statement and a negative statement. My female owner couldn’t figure out why people, including her supervisor, were congratulating her, and one friend even tried to shout her dinner. You see, my female owner prefers things to be definite and not “almost there” – a clear example of her black-and-white/ all-or-none thinking. Either she has a pass, or she failed. You would think that after three years of postgraduate clinical psychology, she has become better in sorting out her inner demons.

I believe one day, she will laugh at her own silliness.

keeps

My female owner says that this year has been a year of building friendships for keeps. As you may remember, she usually keeps people at an arm’s length in the first year of knowing them. After that one year of incubation, she then decides if she wants to bring this friendship to a higher level or let it remain as “people she knows” category.

So, having been in her current lifegroup for two years, it is certainly within her natural timeline to establish deeper friendships with certain individuals. But as usual, her circle of friends remain small and exclusive. It is as if she does not want to open herself to too many people, for the fear of being hurt or taken advantage of..

At the same time, my female owner acknowledges that she is losing friends from the Singapore “people she knows” category. Which upsets her a little coz once upon a time, they had many happy moments together and there was potential to establish stronger friendships. I guess it is a chicken and egg thing – if it’s only “people you know”, then you wont really invest too much into it anyway, and if you don’t invest too much into it, then it qualifies as “people you know”. The good news is that she is still maintaining contact with most of her close friends from Singapore. Anyhow, she is coming back soon, and she will then be able to better assess the collateral damage of being away for so long.

quiet

In contrast to the past two weeks where she had company over at her house every night she was home, this week had been quiet. Two of my female owner’s frequent drop-ins are out of the country for two weeks (along with their Whatsapp capability), forcing her to find other things to amuse herself. Not that she has been successful in meaningfully occupying herself.

Monday and Tuesday went ok, coz she had work. Then Wednesday, the start of her five day weekend, arrived. In her usual passive fashion, my female owner did not schedule any appointments. She argued that she wanted metime, listening to sermons and reading the bible. Fair enough. She made it to Sayang’s house in the afternoon and brought him out for a wander. With no activities at night (this is when someone would usually pop over for dinner/ jogging/ chillax), my female owner ended up dating her television, watching random but insightful documentaries and human interest programmes.

Thursday. Hmm… She’s supposed to have a lunch appointment with this random friend but he has not confirmed it. And at night, there would be a movie screening – Detective Dee – with dinner provided by Mr Nice Guy. Awesome! One day at a time. She will definitely be able to make it back on Christmas!

annoyed

Ok. My female owner is getting annoyed with me. She says that aging is not an excuse for not writing. Neither is the stormy weather. Oh well. So I decided I better pull up my (invisible) socks and start updating my TurtlePad. How else can people get richer updates about my female owner? There’s only so much Whatsapp can do.

But come to think of it, there’s really nothing much to update about my female owner. She’s still in the waiting stage of her life – waiting to go home, waiting for thesis report to be released, waiting to start moving in her professional life. Waiting for her prince charming to appear. She conceded that she would rather go through life with someone than to remain single all her life. She realised that at the end of the day, she feels more secure with a (intelligent) partner who can complement her with her blind spots and other stuff.

My female owner thinks that the following statement might apply to her: “God takes a long time to do things suddenly”. She senses that this is the preparation stage where she is being positioned for greater things to come. Her outwardly stagnant life is actually gaining momentum inwardly. Her mind is being renewed, her spirit refreshed and she is ready to go, when the floodgates open.

miracle

My female owner just received notification that the results for her thesis would be released in 2-3 weeks’ time. That means that the only way she can graduate by this year is if she clears it at first review – a feat that is rare and almost impossible. The only person who achieved that was this student whose supervisor was the Clinical Director – the person who gives the stamp of approval on all theses.

My female owner has almost given up hope and while a miracle is still possible (after all, God is bigger than the clinical director), she has resolved within herself that life goes on. Interestingly enough, Mr S is still holding out for a miracle and has actually booked a flight back to his home country after her scheduled graduation, so that he can attend it should she graduate this year.

Whatever will be, will be.

animals

My female owner felt vindicated today when she came across a Bible verse regarding animals. Proverbs 12: 10 says “A righteous man regards the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel”

Her study bible has a short explanatory note below which said that a righteous man is sensitive enough to care about the welfare of animals (a rare concern in that era), but a wicked man, even when sensitive, is still cruel (to human beings).

Truth be told, my female owner had been bothered by a comment that the owner of the house said to her once. The owner suggested that my female owner drive Sayang to somewhere and release him in the wild. My female owner was horrified at her comment and said that she couldn’t bring herself to do something like that.

Today, she realised that she did the right thing in keeping Sayang until she can source a suitable home for him. Probably not the best thing she could have done, but certainly still the right thing.

waiting

My female owner is still waiting for the results of her thesis to come back to her. This week is the 8th week since she submitted her thesis. Her chances of graduating this December are getting slimmer by the day. And she has kinda reached a point of acceptance, that sometimes, things might not go the way she wants, but they will work out eventually, because God is in charge.

My female owner reckons that the process of waiting can be exciting, and a chance for character building and getting to know oneself. You hear all sorts of things in your head and you start to realise who you really are through your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Such an occupational hazard, I say, to be analysing herself and her season in life. Why make life so complicated for yourself?

pours

My female owner says that she had a long week that ended only today. It was just a series of (un)fortunate events that built up all at once, the concept of it never rains but pours. First, she started part-time work and worked for 3.5 days. Then, she had to house-sit for the TV man, Stove man and electrician to come and check out the ailing house she is currently renting. She also had to juggle her English test (and the lack of preparation), helping a friend with his English, providing a listening ear to his gf woes, two evenings of jogging (one more time than usual). Peeking into her schedule, I realised that she had company at her house every evening till night. So come Friday night (night before her English test), she was glad that she was home alone (although she ended up talking to different friends on msn). She almost agreed to go out for supper with a friend but decided against it coz of the test.

So today, she was relieved when she completed her English test and was happy that she found a friend to chillax with – just nibbling on random food and watching the newly restored TV. Totally brainless, she says, but pure bliss.

thoughtful

My female owner was very touched by Mr S’s gesture a few days ago (don’t ask me why I am writing everything in retrospective; I think the aussie laid-back culture has gotten to me, vicariously no doubt). I haven’t been talking about him because he hasn’t been around much to talk about. He’s in the midst of his prolonged road trip around Australia and never contacted my female owner. Hence, imagine her shock when he emailed her out of the blue one day, saying that he would be extending his road trip. Hence, he would like to know when her graduation date is, coz he is going to return to his home country in December (as opposed to going back in November) and would like to attend her graduation if possible.

How thoughtful.

My female owner then told him that it is unlikely that she would graduate this year because of problems with her markers and asked him to go ahead with his personal plans. He then wrote back to tell her not to give up hope and that he might still arrange to go back after the graduation date.

How sweet and sincere. *touched*

lull

It’s a new month and my female owner started her new job a few days ago. She says that so far, it feels no different from going for a placement (especially the nursing home one which didn’t really involve much psychological intervention and was basically a waste of her time). The positive difference is that she is being paid for doing nothing much. She is struggling to fill up her time but says it is a good problem.

So far, in three days of work, she has done the following:

Attend the children’s and adult’s team meetings
Attend the children’s clinic
Made contact with a few families
Fell in love with one of the boys (so cute, she says)
Attend a Melbourne Cup lunch
Had a supervision session with her clinical supervisor
Twiddle her thumbs during lull periods
Navigated her way around the hospital corridors etc

More to come, she hopes.