seed

My female owner got a job. Within three weeks of searching for a temporary administration job and two weeks of searching for a psychology locum position.

What did she tell her friends when she was about to start looking for a job? She said she was trying for any temp office job coz i) she has not graduated yet so not many places would employ her, ii) she is provisionally registered so again, not many places would be willing to take her, iii) she is an international student, so working hours and visa regulations would be a put-off for employers, iv) with only three months left, how would it be possible that she finds a locum position.

Hence, her conclusion was that it would be easier for her to secure a temp admin job. But God had a different plan in mind. He brought to mind a random conversation she had with her host who is a very good networker. She advised my female owner to inform her contacts (especially supervisors) of her plans to look for work in OZ, coz if she didn’t spread the news, they won’t know her needs. Because of that random conversation she had weeks ago, my female owner wrote to her supervisor at the hospital, asking for “lobangs”. One thing led to another and lo and behold, a job that fits her schedule in more ways than one.

How about a moment to thank God for guiding her path, leading her to the right people and increasing her favour with people? My female owner compromised on her situation and said “a temp admin job will do” but God said “no, I have better things in store in you. You have limited Me. You didn’t think I am able to provide for you, that’s what you compromised and said any job is better than none. You need to think bigger, believe that I can do much more than the natural. Because My love for you necessitates that I take care of you. Even this job, don’t see it as a job to kill time until the end of the year. Believe that there is much more that is going to come out from this seed.”

The wonderful thing is also that in these past three weeks, her time had been filled meaningfully. She managed to complete a manuscript for publication, write the draft of another manuscript, offer emergency help to friends during office hours, read some personal development books, get connected with online sermons, do mini getaways, clear some psychological and spiritual clutter in her life. Without this three weeks of hiatus, she would have been just jumping from one phase of life to another.

ibethel

My female owner had been feeling spiritually hungry for a while. She wants to learn more about God and biblical concepts but has not been particularly satisfied with whatever she is getting, to the point that she finds going to church and bible study burdensome. And God sees her need, I suppose. Coz out of the blue, she got caught into a conversation with a friend about coming over to her house for lunch and watching an online sermon together. My female owner then asked where she got the sermon from and her friend said she subscribed to ibethel tv. Because she is unemployed, my female owner tries to avoid anything that involves monthly subscription and so her reply was that she would look into it when she gets a job. And her friend’s next reply was whether my female owner had a credit card, coz she wanted to get a birthday present for my female owner.

No prizes for guessing what she got for my female owner. Yes, monthly subscription for the website, backdated from April 2010. How blessed. Now my female owner has access to the spiritual food she has been craving for.

jabez

Many of you know that my female owner’s name means “bad omen”. She spent some moments in her life wondering how she ended up with such a horrible name. Anyway, she learnt recently about a character in the bible – Jabez. His name was mentioned only three times in the bible but the prayer he made is a famous one.

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested. 1 Chro 4:10 (NKJV)

The interesting thing about Jabez is that his name means “he will cause pain” and in this prayer, he prayed against the meaning of his name and was subsequently blessed by God. That is what my female owner going to do.

lighthouse

My female owner has been thinking a lot about her next steps lately. She still thinks that she will stay back in Australia for a while before returning to Singapore. While she is less enthusiastic about bible study, prayer meetings and sometimes Sunday sermons because of her current state of being (sianz and all that), my female owner still want to maintain her focus on God.

Today, she told God that she wants Him to be her Lighthouse. That whatever decisions she makes, it would be in the direction of the light that is emitting from the Lighthouse. Easier said than done, she knows, but everything starts with a decision and today, she has decided it will be God’s way.

guard

Is anxiety a sign of lack of faith and trust in God?

My female owner found her mind filled with “what-ifs”, “if this… then that”, hypothetical scenarios even as she was at prayer meeting last night. She says that her thoughts were racing, one after another, untamed and seemingly out of control. To the point that she found it hard to settle down and focus.

Bible says in Phi 4:6-7
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

My female owner has been toying with the image of “guard”. Common images would be a big dog guarding a property or security personnel standing in front of an important property (e.g. embassy or sensitive building). The aim? Obviously to protect valuable assets from harm or danger and to prevent intruders. You won’t be wasting resources protecting say the community park or a run-down property.

Taken together, my female owner reckons that the verse is saying that God sees her heart and mind as something worth protecting against harm and intruders. And the way to do it, is not to put up the defences herself (as what she would normally do), but to use prayer, supplication and thanksgiving to allow the peace of God to provide that security. Once again, not by her own strength, but through Jesus’ redemptive work on the cross.

"scholarship"

My female owner did her budgeting on Sunday night and realised that she had only $3000 to sustain her till end of March (before her term deposit ends). This $3000 includes paying for her rent, daily expenses, visa and other related fees.

Moving forward into the year, she figured that she needs to get a job. Her RA job is over (she still owes her supervisor 220hours). Tutoring is a good option, as always. However, the thought of tutoring is quite depressing actually, in light of all the nasty assignments she has to mark. But being her, she didn’t really know where to start looking for a job. She can’t really practice yet, given her probationary status (someone has to supervise her) and didn’t mind being a receptionist at a psychology clinic. So she prayed (and hoped) for a job somehow, though she couldn’t figure out how besides looking at noticeboards and stuff.

Then yesterday, she met her supervisor for the first time this year. The first thing he asked her was why she gave up the offer by the hospital. Hmm… Anyway, then later on, he offered a proposal to her – to take up a “scholarship” by the private hospital he works in (he had earlier negotiated the terms with the management and said he would do all the paperwork), and work for him running group therapy and doing administrative work!

What an awesome arrangement for my female owner. A scholarship means that her earnings would be tax-free. More than that, she would be gaining clinical experience in a private hospital, even though she is not fully-registered (and there is a chance that she can transfer some of those hours over to her new placement if hours are hard to come by). That makes it easier for her to get full-time employment in future. What’s more, the extra work she has to do would be related to her thesis. Sounds like a good plan. My female owner hasn’t worked out the details with her supervisor yet but she is believing in faith that she would get a fair deal.

She is still astonished at the different ways God used to provide for her yet again. Except for tutoring where she needs to apply online, the rest of the provisions just came looking for her. Amazing!

grace

My female owner had her prayers answered in a most unconventional, modern way. It all started on Sunday morning, when she went to her office with the intention of (finally) working on her multiple regression statistical analysis which she procrastinated for a week.

Opening up her thick stats book, she wrote a prayer as her MSN tagline. “God… help me with stats please.” My female owner didn’t think much of it, having resigned herself to an afternoon of perplexing statistical manoeuvres.

Ten minutes later, a friend popped up online and said excitedly “I can help you with stats!!”

The rest, they say, is history. Her friend kindly offered to meet her that afternoon for a two-hour crash course on multiple regressions. The friend is actually a statistics tutor in the School of Economics and does extra tutoring for students at a fee (it never occurred to my female owner that she could ask him for help). But he did it free for her... and even when she bought him a pizza for lunch, he returned the meal with coffee.

When my female owner wrote out that MSN tagline, she didn’t consciously mean it as a prayer. It was more out of desperation. But God, in His ever generous and protective grace, made things happen in such a way that her friend would log on on a Sunday morning, respond to that line, and be available to help her. The timing was just perfect. Her friend would be out of the country two days later till the end of October and she needed to hand in some analyses asap.

Ah, the grace of God. Hits you when you least expect it... but rescues you from darkness.

reminded

After working hard for 6 weeks running, my female owner is starting to feel physically exhausted. Not in a depressive sense, but just perhaps, burnt out. So it is timely that she is getting a three weeks’ break from her externship placement due to the school holidays. My female owner has seldom looked forward to Fridays, the way she has in recent times. Fridays (and some part of weekends) are now like an oasis for her.

So anyway, my female owner began counting down her commitments before the rest of the year is over. 13 weeks till December… 7 weeks of coursework… etc etc.

Today, God reminded her that what it really means is that she has 12 more weeks to go before her time in Brisbane 09 is over. 12 weeks. It is not about counting down the number of weeks back to Singapore. It is about maximising the remaining time she has, to achieve even greater spiritual maturity and intimacy with God.

Today, God reminded her of the first few weeks she spent in Brisbane last year. Particularly, how He helped her ease into the local church. Also, His faithfulness and protection leading her back into His presence.

Finally, God reminded that He knows beforehand the things that my female owner is going to experience (or had experienced, depending on what time-frame you are using) and if He had allowed some things to happen, He has/ had those events under control. So my female owner can rest in the knowledge of His sovereign will and know that she can overcome all things that come in her way.

cherry-picking

My female hasn’t had any counselling sessions for a long time. There was supposed to be one session last Friday but her Counsellor did not turn up. My female owner didn’t feel like asking her what happened and assumed that she had forgotten about it. Having been seeing her own clients, my female owner has always been on the side of waiting for people and chasing them up when they default/ cancel, so much so that she can’t bring herself to do the same thing as a counsellee.

And so, my female owner flitted along with life, with a nagging voice at the back of her mind about this issue. Yesterday, the voice manifested as an email from her ex-leader who wanted to know how things were going. My female owner typed off an email summarising her life over the past 1.5 months and ventilated about the dirty old man. She hasn’t gotten over the incident and her disgust with him actually escalated yesterday when he sat in for her group therapy and was highly disruptive.

Ex-leader replied with some of his thoughts about the way forward, a few of which are my female owner’s stuck points. So my female owner’s reply was “blah blah blah… not ready yet..slowly” or something along those lines. Before she slept, my female owner went youtubing on Pastor Prince (coz her neighbour had told her that the clip on humorous bible illustrations was so entertaining that she herself went around looking for more). Lo and behold, my female owner found, under the information section, a description for a sermon clip which was exactly what her ex-leader was telling her in the email (regarding satan and his ploys). Obviously she listened to it and tried to absorb the essence of the message.

Well well… time to stop cherry-picking the Bible and submit totally to God.