losing

My female owner had her biggest emo episode yesterday, no thanks to her supervisor who dropped the bombshell on her that he has not been able to find any markers for her thesis (at this late stage) and who questioned her ability to complete her thesis by 30 Aug 10. Not funny. My female owner didn’t know how to respond to these that she simply stared at him in shock. The nightmares of eccentric supervisors are happening to her. Had she worked so hard, all in vain? Every decision she made was in view of her plan to submit her thesis by 30 Aug 10 with ready markers.

She felt down and moody henceforth. She then met up with Mr S who, as usual, could tell that she was losing “it” and perhaps out of compassion, bought her coffee and cake and offered his listening ear. She tried her best to be good company for the rest of the night (after all they were meeting up after a long time) but the issues weighed heavily on her mind and heart. For the first time ever, she really wanted a beer for dinner. And she apparently had an hallucination which freaked her out (she saw two trains on the sushi line the whole time during dinner but Mr S said there was only one).

She went home and found Sayang missing. Another straw that threatened to break her back. Her friend, who had earlier popped by to feed her dinner, had told my female owner about the fierce cat neighbour who scared Sayang, and my female owner was convinced that Sayang had gone into hiding for the night. Her housemates and Emo Sponge were around and my female owner had brief conversations with them.

Going into her bedroom, my female owner started crying. She didn’t know what she was feeling. Was it anger? Or disappointment? Or hopelessness? Sitting through her tears, talking to Onli Fren and Emo Sponge (powers of technology), my female owner finally realised that while her chief complaint is tiredness, at her very core, she felt scared.

Some people call it fear.