optimistic

My female owner heard the most optimistic line for 2009 recently. Her acquaintance was asking her when she would complete her studies. My female owner’s reply was “2010” and the acquaintance’s response was “isn’t that next year?”

Put in that perspective, it does makes one feel as if my female owner will be able to attain her professional aspirations fairly soon.

2008 had been a year of self-discovery and gaining self-awareness of who she really is. It was also a year of realising what she has been blessed with, and what she lacks in terms of character. It was also about learning more about her weaknesses, her natural style of appraising situations and her personal working styles and preferences. In addition, a time of accepting and loving herself after all the introspection and self-critique have been done and believe it or not, learning to come of age. Of accepting that her youth is almost all but gone and that by now, at her current age, she has reached (hopefully) a certain level of maturity and therefore, should conduct herself in a manner that commensurates with her age. You know, cannot behave like a teenager anymore.

Through the process, my female owner has become more confident of herself. She is more aware of what she appreciates and what pisses her off. While she once would dispense endless benefit of doubt to people who do dodgy things and bend her back backwards to accommodate others, my female owner is now more firm and discerning when interacting with people and indeed, more particular about people behaving properly (i.e. higher expectations of others). Ah, so she’s not Ms Nice anymore... and trying not to be Ms Gullible anymore.

Having travelled this path once in 2008 does not make going back to Brisbane in 2009 any easier. In fact, my female owner is already starting to feel a host of insecurities. Being her second year, she can no longer hide behind the excuse of being new to the country. She is assumed to have adapted to being an international student. Schoolwork is expected to be easier this year. Externships more manageable. She wants to live a proper life in Brisbane, but is not sure if she will be able to manage her time and workload decently. Her personal expectations have increased, the things that she hope to do or accomplish, the personal development that she wants to see unfold…