hymns

My female owner finally sent an email to the church wind ensemble she used to play with today. The reason was that someone started sending out some hymn jokes.

Do you know your HYMNS?
The Dentist's Hymn........ .......Crown Him with Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn........ There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn........The Church is One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn........ .......Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn........ There is a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn........ .........Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist' s Hymn........Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRAS Agent's Hymn........ ......... ......... ...I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn........ ......... ......... ......... ..Pass It On
The Electrician' s Hymn........ ......... ......... ..Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn........ ......... ......... ...Sweet Buy and Buy
The Realtor's Hymn......... I've Got a Mansion Just over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn ............ He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn........ ......... .The Great Physician

The emails started shooting around and my female owner couldn’t help but ask “any hymns for the psychologist?”

And the answers came quite quickly:

Take Thou Our Minds, Dear Lord
God Be In My Head
Whispering Hope

Haha!

She also received a short email from one of the veterans of the ensemble who asked how she was and added that he was waiting for her to return to join them. My female owner thought that he was referring to the ensemble and replied accordingly. It turned out that he was referring to joining his organisation. The history is that, before she left for Brisbane, he had briefly broached the subject to her, but my female owner had forgotten about it until today. My female owner is not keen coz it’s a governmental department dealing with restricted information.

After all, my female owner didn’t resign from the civil service, to hop back into the civil service. Then she might as well have taken a sponsorship!

Anyway, more hymns were compiled by the end of the day. You probably can find one that suits you.

The chiropractor's hymn - STAND UP, STAND UP.
The electricians hymn - SEND THE LIGHT.
The poor person's hymn - I CARE NOT FOR RICHES.
The rainmaker's hymn - SHOWERS OF BLESSING
The surgical patient's hymn - I LONG TO BE PERFECTLY WHOLE. T
he day you find out you're pregnant hymn - O HAPPY DAY.
The day you find out you're NOT pregnant hymn - O HAPPY DAY.
The Mountain Home Builder's Association hymn - MY HOUSE IS BUILT UPON A ROCK
My kid's getting even with me hymn - O THEY TELL ME OF A HOME.
The ranger station hymn - ON A HILL FAR AWAY.
The physical therapist hymn - ONE STEP AT A TIME.
The divorced person's hymn - OUT OF MY BONDAGE.
The WIDE LOAD hymn - PASS ME NOT.
The rescuer's hymn - SEEKING THE LOST.
The fisherman's hymn - SHALL WE GATHER AT THE RIVER.
The last payment hymn - SINCE I CAN READ MY TITLE CLEAR.
The seamstress hymn - SOWING IN THE MORNING.
The dater's hymn - THE NIGHT IS FAST PASSING.
The thirsty person's hymn - THERE IS A FOUNTAIN.
The slingshot hymn - THERE IS A ROCK.
The telephone repairman's hymn - THERE'S A CALL COMES RINGING.
The dieter's hymn - THOU, MY EVER LASTING PORTION.
The chain gang hymn - GO LABOR ON.
The hiker's hymn - WALKING IN THE SUNLIGHT.
The car accident hymn - WE SAW THEE NOT.
The lawyer's hymn - WHEN ALL MY LABORS AND TRIALS ARE OVER.
The street crossing guard hymn - WHY DO YOU WAIT?
The prisoner's hymn - WOULD YOU BE FREE?
The home builder's hymn - A MIGHTY FORTRESS
The parade master's hymn - FLING OUT THE BANNER.
The weatherman's hymn - FROM EVERY STORMY WIND THAT BLOWS
The Darning Association's hymn - HOLY, HOLY, HOLY.
The Girdle Association's hymn - HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION.
The caterer's hymn - ALL THINGS ARE READY, COME TO THE FEAST.
The salesman's hymn - ALMOST PERSUADED.
The insurance man's hymn - BLESSED ASSURANCE.
The cowboy's hymn - DAY IS DYING IN THE WEST.
The accountant's hymn - EARTH HOLDS NO TREASURES.
The traveler's hymn - FAR AND NEAR.
The scuba diver's hymn - FAR AWAY IN THE DEPTHS.
The whisperer's hymn - HARK! THE GENTLE VOICE.
The whining spouse hymn - HAVE THINE OWN WAY.
The wagon master's hymn - HE LEADETH ME.
The hearing aid salesman's hymn - HEAR THE SWEET VOICE.
The lost traveler's hymn - HERE WE ARE BUT STRAYING PILGRIMS.
The oxen hymn - HIS YOKE IS EASY.
The new kid in the class hymn - I AM A STRANGER HERE.
The rookie hang glider's hymn - I AM DWELLING ON THE MOUNTAIN.
The Vegetable Grower's Association hymn - I COME TO THE GARDEN ALONE.
The explorer's hymn - I HAVE HEARD OF A LAND.
The watch repairman's hymn - I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR.
The Job Service hymn - I WANT TO BE A WORKER.
The ironing lady's hymn - I'M PRESSING ON.
The distiller's hymn - I REACHED THE LAND OF CORN AND WINE.
The lost dog hymn - I'VE WANDERED FAR.
The half time Alaska hymn - IN THE LAND OF FADELESS DAY.
The birthday hymn - IS IT FOR ME?
The night watchman's hymn - IT MAY BE AT MORN.
The nervous groom's hymn - JUST A FEW MORE DAYS.
The perfect person's hymn - JUST AS I AM.
The drunkard's hymn - LEAD ME GENTLY HOME.
The psychiatrist hymn - LET US WITH A GLADSOME MIND.
The pie maker's hymn - PEACE, PERFECT PEACE.
The Gold Collector's Association hymn - PURER YET AND PURER.
The Rock Collector's Association hymn - ROCK OF AGES.
The dynamite specialist hymn - SAFELY THROUGH ANOTHER WEEK.
The race car hymn - SPEED AWAY.
The payment book hymn - WE GIVE THEE BUT THINE OWN.
The escaped convict's hymn - FLEE AS A BIRD.
The coal miner's hymn - SOMEWHERE THE SUN IS SHINING.
An Alternative Hymn for LTA and the ERP gantries --- And Can it Be that I Should Gain
The Hymn for Peer Pressure --- Come Let Us Join Our Friends Above
The Trumpeter's Hymn --- Blow Ye the Trumpet Blow.
The Big Band's Hymn --- Christ Lay in Death's Strong Bands
The Weatherman's Hymn --- Lo He Comes With Clouds Descending
The Port Operator's Hymn --- Come To The Water. :)
The Hymn for Impatient People --- Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
The Hymn for the Pro-China faction --- Day is Dying in the West
The Pro-Globalisation Hymn --- In Christ there is no East or West
The Hymn for Slow Learners --- We Understand it better By and By